Hi guys! Reworking this story, so don't be confused by changes.

I'm definitely using this story to help me work through some of my troubles. I originally wrote this story with same title - and songs inspirations - with a different attitude.

I'm trying something new.

xx

(I know it's a short chapter...)

SM owns it all. Ideas are loosely based on erm well...

ONE

I know I caught you at a not-so-happy time of your life

My dreams are bigger than your junkie pride

"Pride" – Lana Del Rey

I loved darkness and the cool silence it brought. As a child I loved sleeping with the TV set on. I loved the flashes of light and the color. I liked trying to guess what was going on in the show with my back turned, imagining the actors and their roles. I used to love light.

My hands gripped the wheel, probably too tightly. I had some Lana Del Rey demos softly echoing from the surround sound of the truck hoping to maybe just maybe soothe me. I was happy again. I used to think I was happy, you know when new beginnings started and I dreamed of moving (and staying) away. However, I really wasn't. I was lost. Maybe not as much as before. But very lost, and tired. More lonely than anything. I did not want any phone calls or letters anymore. I still believed he was the reason I was unhappy.

It's much different now. No one person should affect your happiness. No one person should make you feel less than. He never meant to. I matured, but I still hadn't understood. Now I do. I really feel I do.

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I stood quietly in line at Molten Cafe across the street from Rose's office. Soft indie rock echoed through the speakers and young girls in tall boots with pea coats fluttered about laughing into their lattes. I reached the counter, ordered Rose's coffee and Lisa my favorite barista put together my ice water with lemon in the iced coffee cup. I trotted down the street to Rose's parked car.

"Em! Stop calling me, I'm on lunch!...yeah yeah, okay. Yeah order out. Yes. Mmmmm...yes baby. Bye, love you"

I opened the passenger door, handed her the latte and fell into my seat.

"Emmett getting lonely?"

"You know how he gets when he gets some vacation time. Cheap bastard won't just take us on a vacation - he expects me to call out sick everyday to stay with him"

"You have done that though..." I laugh.

Emmett and Rose would be my first adult friends I made, couple friends too. Crazy workaholics who are crazy about each other. Definitely my favorite.

"I don't think he understands when you work in the auto industry you do not..." Rose's rant began. The same one she did when she felt Emmett treated her like his trophy and caretaker. She liked that though.

We drove around until she had to head back. She mostly talked about how much she missed me, and how much she can't wait to get the group back together. And how corporate makes her want to cry. I listened, so happy to be back in the passenger seat of her car - like old times.

She dropped me off at my truck. And as usual gave me two hugs, kissed my cheek five and waved crazily as I made my way to my door.

I sighed.

I started my car and waited for it to warm up a bit, searched for some music when I looked I was receiving a call.

I automatically ended it. I never did this. I usually answered it, made small talk and went on. I was happy in my adult bubble.

The voice mail alert popped up.

A few texts too.

I put the car in drive.

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