"Yo, Breda. Mind telling me what's goin' on between you and Emily? From the second floor?"
"Hm? Oh, we're dating."
"WHAT. Since when!?"
"Three days ago."
"Three!?—Wha—How—You traitor! You know I've been tryin' to ask her out for weeks!"
"Well, if you actually asked her out and stopped assuming that I keep track of all the girls you hit on, you would probably find yourself in a better situation."
"What the hell, man? We're supposed to be friends."
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't know you liked her, but I don't see how this should affect our friendship."
"I believe Lieutenant Havoc was referring to the unspoken social rule of 'bros before hoes,' in which one ceases to court a female companion due to the strain it might cause on the relationship with his friend, who coincidentally has a common interest with the same female."
"Thank you, Falman! See, even he agrees with me."
"I don't think I actually—"
"Shut up. You're on my side and that's an order."
"Whoa, hey, take it easy, Havo. I think you might be overreacting a bit."
"OH? And how do you think a normal person should react when they get cock-blocked by their supposed best friend!?"
"Maybe if you'd quit being such a little bitch, Emily would have shown some interest in you."
"Bullshit. I know she was attracted to me. I'm tall, dark, and handsome with a charming personality! What the hell do you have that I don't!?"
"... Girth."