Disclaimer: Do not own Teen Titans or any of the characters. This fic was done for entertainment purposes only. Please don't sue.
"100 DEAD IN GOTHAM!" In just two days, the body count in what police are calling the "Mob Massacre," has reached a staggering 100. Piles of dead bodies have been found in several areas in Gotham City, most with lacerations, some with missing limbs, and others that were butchered beyond any hope of recognition. After extensive investigation, many of the victims were identified by police as key members of Gotham's most notorious organized crime rings, along with their bodyguards. Gotham law enforcement are currently uncertain as to how these gruesome acts were performed.
"These men were armed with the most dangerous weapons money could buy," Police Commissioner Gordon said in a press statement. We're talking automatic firearms of every shape and size loaded with either armor-piercing or explosive rounds. Anyone crazy enough to go against them head on would be dead, but there they were, slaughtered like pigs. The crazy part was as far as we know, they were all killed by one man."
Police managed to get a shot of the suspect on a warehouse security camera located in the most recent bloodbath. (At the bottom of the article, there's a picture of a Japanese teenager sticking his tongue and middle finger out. The finger was blocked slightly by light reflecting off the camera.) The suspect was recently identified as a young but skilled mercenary whose true name is said to be 'forbidden' even in underground groups. He is armed and extremely dangerous. If you see him, contact 911 immediately, do not engage the suspect in any way. Do not..."
The young teen looked up from his morning paper and took a sip of his coffee, "Catch me if you can," he chuckled, sensing the looks from the barkeep as well as the surrounding morning customers. After he finished his coffee he paid the check, and got up to leave. "The apple pie was awesome, I think I'll stop by here when I'm on the road again," he said as he headed out the door, but stopped and turned back to the barkeep with a small smirk on his face, "Oh, and feel free to call the cops on me, I like to finish off my mornings with a wild police chase." With that, he walked out of Ben's diner, revved up his motorcycle and got back on the road. Everyone in the diner looked as if they just saw the Devil himself.
Teen Chaos
By Andras777 & Ashura05
Chapter 1: Tower Totalled
"TITANS GO!" shouted Robin, as he and the Titans prepared to throw-down with Cinderblock. With a loud roar, Cinderblock kicked off the battle by chucking a taxicab at the Titans, only to be caught by Raven's black aura and set safely aside. As if on cue, Beast Boy changed into a Triceratops and lunged his horns at Cinderblock, only to be grabbed by him, spun around, and tossed straight into a septic tank.
"Dude…nasty," Beast Boy groaned, just before throwing up on the spot. Just before Cinderblock could continue his assault, he found himself being pushed back by a barrage of star-bolts and sonic waves. As soon as Cyborg and Starfire finished their attack, Robin jumped in with a flurry of roundhouse kicks, pushing Cinderblock back even further. Robin finished his onslaught by slamming his boot right into Cilnderblock's face, causing him to fall into the freeway. He staggered to his feet and bolted straight into the freeway tunnel, knocking away any vehicle that got in his way. The Titans chased after him through the tunnel, dodging any cars that Cinderblock chucked at them. All except for Beast Boy, whose bird form was unlucky enough to fly straight into a Mini-Cooper. "Damn clown cars," he cursed before getting back on his feet, or wings in this case. Just before Cinderblock could make for the exit, Raven chanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" causing two wrecked SUVs to sandwich Cinderblock in place.
"Hey Cyborg, ready to give him the Sonic Boom?" asked Robin, reaching into his belt as Cyborg pushed away yet another gas-guzzling SUV.
"'Bout time! We haven't used that one in forever!" Cyborg replied with a grin, prepping his sonic cannon. With that, they charged at Cinderblock while running along side the walls until they reached the ceiling. Robin threw one of his explosive disks and Cyborg shot it with his sonic cannon, creating a concussive blast that knocked Cinderblock unconscious. Cyborg shouted his signature "BOOYAH!", clenching his fist in victory. Looking over the now unconscious boulder of a monster, Robin looked up victoriously at the Titans, "Alright team, let's throw him back in prison and head home," he told them.
The Titans headed back to their Tower after handing Cinderblock over to the authorities. Even though he was able to clean himself up with the help of a few sprinklers, Beast Boy still reeked of shit, which meant he had to fly back to the Tower, while the others headed back on the T-Car.
"Seriously, why is it always something messy? Why can't I get thrown into something clean and soft like a Charmin truck?" Beast Boy complained as they headed to the living room.
"Yes, then maybe you can wipe your soiled pants when you land." answered Raven.
"No wait, I think BB is on to something. Maybe his entire body is a magnet for trash." Cyborg responded.
"Great, maybe if we run into "Garbage Man" he'll actually be useful for once." Raven answered coldly. Before Beast Boy could make a comeback, he and the other Titans had entered the living room... and they didn't like what they saw. The living room was completely totaled. There were shuriken dug into the walls, the sofa was sliced in half, the kitchen looked like a tornado passed through it, and the walls were covered in graffiti.
Among the countless messages were, "The Goth wears pink lingerie." and "Cyborg runs on Vista." There was pretty much a message for each Titan. There was even one that said, "Beast Boy showers in a fermentation plant.", but there wasn't a message for Robin or Starfire. Instead, there was a picture of them kissing in what appeared to be Tokyo with a big pink heart sprayed around it, along with the words "Ooh la la" right above it, leaving the two blushing as pink as the words on the wall.
"Looks like whoever did this fried the security system before it had a chance to go off." Cyborg said, as he examined the security system using his arm computer.
"Who on earth would do such a thing?" asked Starfire as she was comforting a scared Silkie, who was found under what was left of the torn-up sofa.
"Well whoever it was, they better hope we don't find them." Raven said with a throbbing vein on her right temple, looking at the graffiti message that was most likely meant for her.
"Or you'll what?" responded an unfamiliar voice. The Titans looked up in the direction of the new sound, looking everywhere before fixing their gaze onto the roof. A young teen stood above them, his smile curved in a devilish fashion that made even Raven's cold body shiver. He dropped down from his perch on the ceiling, barely making a sound save for the ruffle of his trench-coat that matched his jet black hair that spiked down his neck.
"Frankly, I doubt any of you could give me so much as a scratch," he challenged the Titans as he rose to his feet, his blood red eyes never leaving them for a second. Robin glared at him, watching as the intruder took a stance, his hand hovering just above the red and black hilt of his katana.
"Wanna bet?" replied Raven glaring at the intruder behind her blue hood.
"Oooh, sounds like a challenge. In that case, I'll kick things off," said the intruder, drawing his sword so quickly, it unleashed a shock-wave that left the Titans stunned. It took about a second or two for them to recover, but by then he had already tossed several explosive shuriken at them. The Titans managed get out of the way just before the shuriken detonated. As the smoke from the explosion cleared, they only caught a glimpse of the intruder running into the hallway. "Catch me if you can!" he shouted as he headed towards the room closest to him.
"Guys, he's going into our rooms!" exclaimed Beast Boy, pointing at the hall entrance.
"It'll be quicker if we loop around and cut him off!" Robin shouted before addressing the Titans, "Cyborg! Beast Boy! Take the left wing! Starfire! You and Raven…um, Raven?" Robin looked behind him after getting no response.
The young sorceress stood there as an ominous black aura surrounded her like black flames. As she opened her eyes, four slits opened instead of two, all of them blood red. "No one…" she breathed, "goes into…My…ROOM!"
All the Titans could do was stare wide-eyed in fright as Raven stomped off after the intruder with murderous intent.
"I guess I can ambush them in this one," the intruder muttered to himself as he entered a room, "It's very dark…perfect." With that, he phased into the shadows.
Raven went straight for her room, while the other Titans went to cut off the intruder. Raven wanted to make sure he wasn't in her room doing who knows what in there. There were plenty of things in her room that shouldn't be tampered with. Her mirror, her potion and spell ingredients, Rorek's grimoire, and many other things. What she REEEALLY didn't want him to find, were the contents of her private drawers. Much to Raven's disappointment and fury, there he was, right next to her private drawers.
"You know, I was only kidding about the pink lingerie when I sprayed that message on the living room wall. I didn't think it was true, 'til I came across these," he said holding up a pair of lacy pink panties at the very dresser she had feared.
With that, there was a moment of silence, until Raven's silhouette reveals four glowing red eyes. "GET... OUT... OF MY ROOM!" she shouted in a demonic voice.
Before she could unleash her fury, he zipped past Raven and proceeded to go into the other Titan's rooms. As he ran, he found himself being chased by a bunch of kitchen knives controlled by a very pissed off sorceress. Most people would be scared, some might beg for mercy, but this guy just laughed like a maniac while running from the flying knives.
"You wanna kill me, you gotta catch me first!" he shouted while he was still running. Just as Raven was about to launch the knives at him, he zipped right into the room on his left, and shut the door. As if on cue, Robin had come around the corner, hoping to cut off the intruder. Before Raven could react, she had already launched the knives, which were all headed straight for Robin. "Huh? GYAAAH!" he yelped. He managed to dodge all the knives, but ended up pinned to the wall in a typical Egyptian style position.
"That didn't sound too good," the intruder snickered as he heard a yelp and the sound of several knives piercing the wall. He looked around to see whose room he was in. Judging from the purple drapes on the window, he assumed that he was in Starfire's room. When he opened the closet, his assumptions were confirmed. He looked in and found her underwear drawers. "Jackpot," he said. He heard Robin, Raven, and Starfire's voices outside the room, and an evil grin spread across his face. He rummaged through her drawers, looking for the sexiest, naughtiest pair of panties he could find, and there it was, a pair of red lace panties with heart patterns on it. "Wow, Star really knows how to pick them, and it comes with a matching bra too," he commented, while picturing her in the sexy lingerie. With that, he closed the drawers, and pocketed the lingerie, just in time for the three Titans to bust down the door.
"Hey Robin, nice to see you in one piece. I was starting to think that Raven turned you into shish-kebab," he chuckled. Raven just gave the intruder a death glare. Never had anyone managed to piss her off more than Beast Boy, and she had a feeling that he was just warming up.
"Who are you, and why did you wreck our home?" demanded Robin, "Why attack us?"
"That was just to get your attention," grinned the intruder.
"Well you've got it, so what's your game?" asked Raven.
"Why don't you continue playing and find out?" he said with a smirk. With that, he got into his fighting stance and motioned the Titans with a cocky wave of his hand.
"TITANS GO!" shouted Robin, as he drew his bo staff, as the intruder tossed a handful of shuriken at them. Thinking they might be explosive, Raven used her powers to stop them dead in their tracks. As soon as the shuriken dropped, Robin and the intruder charged at each other with weapons at hand. He continuously blocked and dodged Robin's relentless assault, while dodging Raven and Starfire's projectile attacks.
"This oughta make things fun," he chuckled to himself before sliding behind Robin and throwing Starfire's red bra over his eyes and placed the matching panties right on his head.
"Huh, red? Can't be Raven's. Must be Star…fire's…" Robin gasped, as images of the sexy alien walking around the tower with nothing but the very lingerie on his head had popped into his mind, complete with an inviting "come hither" look.
Beast Boy and Cyborg dashed around the corner, straight into the room just in time to see a spurt of blood spouting from Robin's nose. "Dude…" mumbled Beast Boy.
"Ha ha ha, oh man!" the intruder could not help but laugh out loud, "I thought that nosebleed gag only happens in cartoons. Well, gotta run!" With that, he ran deeper into the hallway to examine the other Titan's rooms.
"Man, I bet that chick'd look real nice in all that red…mmm yeah she has quite the figure too," he chuckled, imagining similar images that Robin had before he heard Starfire let out a high-pitched scream, followed by an optic star blast through the wall.
"Shit, I really must've pissed her off, and lowered my life expectancy to about 30 minutes at the same time. This... is gonna be fun," he chuckled, as he headed for the other rooms. He stuck his head inside Robin and Cyborg's rooms and moved on. Truth be told, the girls' bedrooms were the only ones worth going into. As soon as he opened the door to Beast Boy's room, however, he closed it shut immediately.
"Ugh, how the hell is Beast Boy able to survive in there? I'd call his room a pigsty, but then I'd be insulting the pigs," he said to himself, just before the Titans had found him.
"Hey Robin, I see you've plugged up Old Faithful there," he said, noticing the wads of tissue up his nose. "Oh, and Beast Boy? You've got a message from the Pentagon, they said they want to fly your room to Iraq to use as either a secret biological weapon, or an interrogation/torture chamber," he added.
"Hey, I was GONNA wash my socks, but nooo, Cinderblock just HAD to attack last night and I-"
"Shut up Beast Boy," Raven finished.
"Now hold still so I can blast you," said Cyborg as he prepped his sonic cannon.
"Before you do, let me just ask you one thing," the intruder requested, holding out both hands in and effort to halt the large cannon, "Where do you keep your detachable you-know-what?"
"My deta... HEY, THAT PART IS STILL HERE!" Cyborg yelled.
"And another thing," he continued, "You're wearin' a speedo made out of metal. Do you need a screwdriver to get out of those, or do they open up like the automatic sliding doors in a supermarket?"
"Oh that's it, I don't care if I get solitary for life I'M BLOWIN' A HOLE IN THIS JERK'S MOUTH!" shouted Cyborg as he revved up his sonic cannon.
"I shall assist in the blowing of holes into the kloorbag's mouth," said a pissed off Starfire with eyes and hands glowing with ominous green energy.
In a flash, both attack were unleashed upon their target, creating a large explosion. The people across in the city could see the blast from across the water, shooting right out of the Tower and into the horizon. As the smoke cleared, the Titans saw the intruder still in one piece, just an inch away from where the blast had made impact.
"Yikes, I think my life expectancy just went from 30 minutes to 30 seconds and counting," he snickered just before making a run for it.
"GET HIM!" shouted Robin, as the pissed off Titans began their pursuit.
(Cartoon Heroes starts playing in the background)
The Titans chased the intruder all over the Tower, in every room, even through the gutters and the laundry room, breaking everything from dishes to BB's bad taste in music, until Raven had cut him off at the rooftop entrance.
"Girl we've gotta stop meetin' like this, people are gonna start talkin'. Then again, it's not a big deal since I don't really care what people think about me," he said.
"Before I kill you, the first thing I'm gonna do is rip that tongue out of your mouth with my bare hands," Raven said as she channeled her power into her fists.
"And just what will you do with my tongue once you have it?" he asked with a sly grin on his face.
"Put it in a glass jar in my trophy room!" she glared, shredding several metal objects into spikes and hurling them towards the intruder, but just before they could connect, he phases into the darkness at the last moment, only to reappear right behind her.
"You know, it's really hard to get a good look at you when you're covered in that stuffy cloak. It's gotta go," he said tugging it off.
"Ah, much better," he smirked while checking her out from head to toe. "Damn Raven, why the hell did you hide this smokin' hot body underneath that cloak? Seriously, those curves could make guys-
"DROP DEAD!" Raven shrieked, jolting round to face him and smacking her assailant round the head with what looked like a large paper fan, which turned out to be just an after-image of him. Not wanting to get jumped again, Raven surrounded herself with shrapnel. That way, she thought, no matter which direction he came from, he'd still get hit.
But before she had a chance to react, he swung his previously sheathed sword, the force of it blowing away several shrapnel in front of her. Not wasting any time, he closed the distance between them and placed his hands square on her chest. "Wow Raven, your boobs fit right into my palms, and they're as soft as marshmallows too," he commented as he gave them a good squeeze. He smirked at the blush appearing on Raven's face, but before she could counterattack, he followed with a large chi blast which knocked Raven down to earth. Just as she was about to land on her butt, he phased right behind her to break her fall. It did however take her about 2 seconds to realize the hands that were just fondling her breasts were now playfully groping her ass cheeks.
"I still don't get why you cover all of this up in the first place," he grinned, giving her butt another playful squeeze. "I mean, you've got an amazing rack, plus this tight, firm ass. You'd be able to turn more heads than Starfire."
"How about I turn your head?" she glared, using her powers to pick up a piece of rock off the ground and flung it towards him, "180 degrees!"
"Throwing that rock doesn't hide the blush on your face," he laughed after easily dodging, "That from the pat or the compliments?"
Before Raven could say or do anything else, the rest of the Titans had arrived to see her still sitting on the intruder. "Well, looks like the cavalry's arrived," he said as he stood up and brought Raven up to her feet. "Thanks for the lap dance Rae-Rae, you really know how to show a guy a good time. I'll give ya a call later," he said with a wink. With that, he headed for the rooftop entrance, leaving an awkward moment of silence between Raven and the others.
"Um, what are you all looking at?" Raven asked as their eyes were all focused on her waist. She looked down, her eyes widening as they fixed on a bunch of $20 bills stuck to her belt.
"So glad I got the video for that!" he laughed, stashing away the digital camera just as the roof blasted open with a surge of black energy, "Oh I'm sorry Rae-Rae, are you mad?" he laughed in the face of a red-eyed scorned Raven.
"Going...kill...you...hell...painful..." Raven fumed, her words getting jumbled in her fury.
"That really sounds like fun, but like i said, you gotta catch me before you can sentence me to eternal damnation," he said as the Titans got up on the rooftop. That is, after they recovered from witnessing Raven's fury a second time, a fury so great not even the uncut DVD would show it to the general public.
"Stop!" Robin shouted at the intruder, "You've got nowhere to run, so you can either turn yourself in or..."
"we can turn you over to the cops in pieces," Raven finished as the rest of the titans joined them, fists and guns bared for their final attack.
"Well, if those are my options, I guess there's only one thing to do..." the intruder said, lowering his head as he backed closer and closer to the edge of the Tower. Realizing what he was about to do, Robin sprinted forward trying to grab him, but he was too late. Robin could only watch in horror as his hands missed the intruder's by inches before he plummeted to the lake below.
As he fell, he spun like a bullet, getting closer and closer to the Tower with each rotation. Once he got close enough to get his feet on the Tower, he stopped spinning and began to run down at maximum velocity. As soon as he passed the halfway mark, he began to form several hand seals. With the last seal completed, he slammed his hands on the Tower's surface, creating an energy trail that reached all the way to the shoreline.
From the depths a dark light parted the waters, forming a blood red magic circle on the lake floor. From it burst forth a bike that looked like it was born from the fires of hell itself. The skull head-plate's eyes gleamed before it let out a terrible cry, extending the dark light all the way towards the shore, parting the waters like an evil Moses. Its owner laughed in triumph before landing on the skeletal seat, extending a "See you at the finish line Titans!" before revving the engine and speeding through the unholy path.
"Uhh, guys? I don't think we're dealing with our everyday super-villain here," said Beast Boy, still recovering from what he just witnessed, staring down at the rippling water below.
"Even so, we're the only ones who can stop him. We have to stop him before he starts raising hell in the city. Let's move!" commanded Robin as he and the other Titans continued their pursuit.
"I wonder what's taking them so long? They should be comin' after me right about now," thought the intruder as he rode briskly through the streets of Jump City, "And seriously, who the hell names these cities?" he continued his train of thought, until an image of a high-tech car on the side-view mirror caught his eye.
"I was wondering when you guys were gonna show up. I was starting to get bored," he said as he spotted Robin's motorcycle, and then Raven and Starfire up in the air. With that, he turned his bike around to face the Titans and stuck out his middle finger for all of them to see while he steered with his left hand.
"I'm sure you already know our playtime in the Tower was just a warm-up, now the real fun begins. If you want to stop me, you gotta give me everything you've got!" he shouted as he was nearing the intersection, "Or was that sad excuse of a fight your very best after all?"
"I'll show you 'best'!" Cyborg yelled, slamming his fist on the "fire cannon" button which naturally fired a blast right at the fugitive. With a maniacal laugh, he easily evaded the blast and sped through the busy intersection.
He easily sped past the three lanes, continuing his laugh even as he raced straight for a large gas truck, highly-flammable and strategically placed just for this little chase scene. But the imminent explosion was not to be, for to the Titans' surprise, he leaned his bike to the side, barely touching the ground as he slid under the tank, barely touching it save for a few ruffles of his coat. Naturally, the walking cheat code tilted his bike upright and sped off with his laugh echoing under the tanker.
"Dude," Beastboy said, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, "I know he's our enemy and all, but that was-"
"Finish that sentence and you're going home in the T-trunk," Cyborg muttered as he was forced to go *around* the tanker as they chased him.
"...awesome," Beast Boy mumbled, earning a glaring eye from Cyborg, effectively getting kicked out of the T-car, transforming into a Pterodactyl just in time to soar over the pavement.
"Air support might end up cutting into my fun-time, luckily I got something just for that occasion," said the intruder as he took out a handful of odd looking shuriken. They were clear and filled with a questionable liquid, each with a tiny explosive rigged in the center. He temporarily switched his bike into auto-pilot, and tied the throwing stars together with a length of string. After switching his bike back to manual, he looked up to check his potential targets.
"If this wasn't gonna end up being funny as hell, I'd almost feel sorry for whoever this hits," he snickered as he charged up his projectiles with his chi and tossed them at the green Pterodactyl that was Beast Boy. The shuriken wrapped around his neck, just before blowing up in a cloud of brownish-orange smoke. Although they avoided being exposed to the solution, Raven and Starfire could still smell the wretched fumes that still lingered in the air.
"That's what happens when you mix 10 different bottles of cheap cologne together and let it sit for a few weeks," said the intruder.
"Dude it's gonna take forever to get this stench off," groaned Beast Boy. He still reeked of shit from earlier, and the cheap cologne just added insult to injury.
"Cry me a river Beast Boy, I'm still trying to get your smell off the Tower," Raven replied while holding her nose.
"Well then, you should be an EXPERT at getting this crap off of me," snapped Beast Boy.
Raven just paused for a moment, and then summoned the remains of a car ruined in the fight, slides it under Beast Boy, and sends him speeding right into a car wash.
"That should do it," Raven said as she watched Beast Boy getting sprayed, spun, waxed, and blown dry before slowly coming out sparky clean with a "I am not amused" frown on his face.
"Woooh," Cyborg whistled, admiring Raven's handiwork, "I've never seen BB so shiny!"
"Maybe I'll hang him as a shiny new trophy once I kick your wimpy behinds into the ground," the assailant mocked, his hands crossed waiting for the Titans to finish. Before BB could even pick wax out of his nose, he revved up his motorcycle, increasing its torque and zoomed right past Raven, the resulting shock wave ripped her clothes right off, save for her bra and panties. As soon as the smoke cleared, Raven opened her eyes only to see the culprit in front of her with his camera.
"You know as soon as I slowed down, I saw your outfit fly right past me. So naturally, I had to turn around and come back here," he said as he took pictures of her in every angle, "And it was sooooo worth it. Although I have to say, pink isn't really your color, but lacy dark blue fits you quite nicely," he grinned before smacking Raven's panty-clad behind, "I'm looking forward to putting these on my wall," he finished as he got back on his bike and rode off. Raven stood there frozen for a moment, her mind processing the fact that this bastard had pushed every single one of her buttons in a span of barely an hour. Raiding her drawers, fondling and groping her, and now he had stripped her nearly naked and took enough pictures to print a magazine, let alone finally smacking her blue panty clad butt in public. To say that he was going to die would be the biggest understatement in history.
"Uhhh, Raven?"
"Not... one... word," Raven said, cutting Beast Boy off, a dark aura crawling its way up her body, slowly re-materializing her clothes.
"...boobies," he was barely able to mutter before Raven slammed his green face into the wall.
"Hmm, they should be continuing their chase by now," thought the bastard in question, checking his side view mirrors. But as soon as his eyes were back on the road, the back wheel of his bike was hit with several starbolts, causing him to hurl forward and land face first into a sandbox. A nearby kindergartner laughed at his disfigured position, and proceeded to dump piles of sand on his head before quickly fashioning it into a decent sand castle.
"Oh sure," Beast Boy complained after he reformed from his previous cheetah form, "I get trash piles and all he gets is sand!"
"The cushion fits the victim, I suppose," he smirked, spitting out a mouthful of sand, only to have another bucketful of sand dumped on his head by the kid in the sandbox. He got out of the box and shook off whatever sand he had left on him. No sooner had he gotten the sand off that he was forced to quickly dodge to the side from Robin's swift downwards kick.
Robin wasted no time, kicking off towards his opponent, throwing punch after punch at him, only to be blocked at every turn. Roundhouse kicks and birdarangs didn't work either, for the assailant's quick movements easily slid past every attempt.
"Not bad," he smirked, grabbing Robin's punch and using its force to toss Robin into the glass of a nearby pet store, "But you clearly lack discipline."
"You're the one who needs discipline," Robin glared, getting to his feet and brandishing his staff, "And a tiny prison cell to go with it!"
"Does it come with free WiFi?" he joked, unsheathing his own sword, blocking Robin's quick attacks. As he blocked Robin's next attack, he hit the back of his sword with his chi-infused palm sending Robin flying back into the pet store, right into a cage full of canaries. "Aw, how cute," he chuckled as Robin spit out a bright yellow feather, "A family reunion!"
Just as he was about to enter the pet store, a large barrage of starbolts rained around him. Although he managed to hold his ground, the first thing he saw once the smoke cleared was Starfire's fist flung dead center in his face. He felt his body fly through the air right into a tree, where several squirrels scurried down and started cracking walnuts on his head. "I've heard of eating my own words, but this is just ridiculous," he groaned as he shooed the squirrels away.
"Ugh, thanks Starfire. Looks like Beast Boy was right, this guy isn't our average supervillain," said Robin as Starfire helped him up.
"Do not worry, Robin, we shall surely defeat him together," she smiled, gazing into Robin's masked eyes for a moment, her hero flashing a blushing smile back.
"If you lovebirds don't mind," the villain chuckled behind them revving up his demon-bike and speeding away from them, "I've got a city to trash."
"N-not if I can help it!" Robin recovered, Starfire nodding with him, though still pink in the cheeks. The two raced down the city streets after him, throwing starbolts and birdarangs. But the cursed ride dodged each one, its maneuverability far surpassing normal standards. But Starfire was anything but normal, and an optic blast finally hit one of the tires, sending it swerving out of control.
"You hate my bike that much?" he glared, spinning his bike around and kicking it up at Starfire, "You can HAVE it!"
"AH!" she gasped, raising her hands up in a futile defense, bracing for impact.
It didn't come. Split-seconds before the bike could collide, Robin jumped up and grabbed Starfire, sending the two of of them tumbling onto the soft grass below. As soon as Robin opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Starfire's bright pink thong right in his face. Seeing her tight, round butt cheeks made him realize they had stumbled into a classic 69 position. Starfire figured it out just as quickly, especially when she saw Robin's manhood bulging from his pants. Both Titans got very flustered as they tried to get out of their predicament only to get stuck in one position after another, until Starfire was on top of Robin, with their legs interlocking, and their faces just an inch away from each other, making them blush redder than a bushel of strawberries.
"Wow. Look, I know you two can't get enough of each other but come on, there are kids here," their opponent said as they looked up, finally noticing they were in the middle of an elementary school playground, during recess no less.
"Kissy kissy," shouted nearly all of the students, making the two blush even harder.
"Well, I'll let you lovebirds do your thing while I go to town on the other Titans," he said as he jumped on his demonic ride and zoomed off into the highway, leaving the blushing lovebirds to explain some things to the little grade-schoolers.
"Alright Tin-Man, come out come out wherever you are," he said to himself as he looked for any sign of the T-Car, and low and behold, it was just about to enter the highway entrance ahead. He sped up in order to catch up to it, and took out its left side-view mirror with his shuriken once he got within range.
"What the-," before Cyborg could finish that sentence, the culprit revealed a retractable blade on his right wrist as he drove alongside the T-Car, leaving behind a nice big scratch mark from the back all the way to the front of his car.
"Oh that's it, NOBODY TREATS MY BABY LIKE THAT!" shouted a very pissed off Cyborg. The villain simply replied with a smirk and his middle finger sticking up.
"The road up ahead's closed for construction, why don't we take our little throw-down there?" he suggested right before zooming past Cyborg, both of them speeding through the arrangement of traffic cones. Grinning evily, the deranged cyclist quickly swerved his bike around to face the T-Car. "Now that the road's empty, there's no need to worry about collateral damage. So without further ado... SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIENDS!" he shouted maniacally as two machine gun barrels appeared from both sides of his motorcycle.
"Oh hell no," was all Cyborg could mutter as the guns began to spray bullets all over his car. "MACHINE GUNS! DID YOU MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL FOR THAT BIKE!" shouted a pissed off Cyborg.
"Yeah. Got it on Craigslist from some guy named lucifer666. Got a it for a pretty good price too," he replied with a nostalgic grin.
"Which was?" asked Cyborg.
"My sanity," he answered proudly.
"I'm not even gonna comment on that one," said Cyborg, pressing a button on the dashboard, causing a large energy cannon to rise from the engine, blasting the demon bike several times, each one barely missing but successful in forcing the bike to turn around as they dashed into the construction site. The biker quickly jumped off his ride and landed in a fighting stance.
"Not bad Tin-Man, now let's see how good you are on foot!" he challenged Cyborg, with a cocky wave of his hand.
"A foot in your behind is what you're gonna get, psycho!" Cyborg easily accepted, quickly jumping out of the car...but not before putting on the brake, securing the wheel, locking each door, and arming the alarm system.
"Sounds like a challenge, let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is," said the psycho in question as he kicked a nearby crate straight towards Cyborg, who quickly blew it to bits with his sonic cannon. Unfortunately for Cyborg, the first thing he saw once the debris had cleared, was his opponent's chi-infused foot flying right at his face, sending Cyborg flying like a bottle-rocket, straight into the dumpster behind him.
"Ooooh. Great form, but a little bit rough on the landing. Looks like he'll have to settle for the bronze," said the villain as the lid on the dumpster dropped on Cyborg's head the moment he tried to get up.
"Hmm, maybe I should have thrown him into the recycling bin instead. Oh well," he thought to himself as he walked toward his bike. But as soon as he was halfway there, the dumpster exploded and Cyborg came charging out of the smoke, itching for some payback.
"Heh, looks like I spoke too soon," he laughed while dodging and deflecting Cyborg's punches. He pushed Cyborg back with a small chi blast, putting some distance between them as he ran straight for the crane with a wrecking ball attached. But before going any further, he kicked another nearby crate at Cyborg. He dodged the crate, but it hit the T-Car head on, causing the license plate to fall off.
"Oh no! My baby!" Cybrog cried, ignoring his assailant to rush over and auto-screw the plate back on, wiping it over squeaky clean before quickly turning back to his opponent, "You can taunt me and trash every inch of my body, but you do NOT-TOUCH-MY-BABY!"
"You do realize that the time it took for you to put that license plate back on, I could have escaped or stick my sword up your rusty ass," he said with a smug little grin.
"And yet you didn't, so tell me who the real idiot here is, huh?" responded Cyborg.
"I'd say the idiot is whoever picked the design for that half-assed piece of junk you call a car," the assailant retorted.
"That's it! When I'm done moppin' the floor with you, I'm gonna nail your BIG mouth to the front of my car to catch flies!" Cyborg shouted as he started shooting at him with his sonic cannon. The assailant dodged each blast while getting closer and closer to the crane, eventually climbing up to the roof. As he dodged, he managed to glimpse the last shot from Cyborg's cannon as it snapped off the cord holding the wrecking ball. Not wanting to waste such a rare opportunity, the assailant jumped, gathering as much chi as he could and hit the wrecking ball with a devastating spinning roundhouse kick, sending it on a crash course for the T-Car. Knowing he didn't have enough time to save his car, Cyborg jumped out of the way as the wrecking ball squished his "baby" like a grape.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Cyborg cried, eyes wide in horror as his pride and joy was crushed by a huge wrecking ball of devastation, "WHY? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU? SHE WAS JUST AN INNOCENT, PERFECT PIECE OF ART THAT-!"
"That you just wouldn't shut up about," the car-destroyer said, his arms crossed as he admired his own work, "And the ball was right there. How could I ignore such a tempting offer? Besides, you can't park there. It's a handicap zone."
"NO IT ISN'T!" shouted the still traumatized Cyborg. The car wrecking nut-job simply responded by slicing off the handicap sign next to him, catching it before it could fall to the ground and throwing it as hard as he could, right between the car's headlights. The sign easily pierced through the car, triggering the alarm before it burst into flames.
"Now it is," he said with a large grin on his face. "and as proof to the cops..." he added, taking a picture of the burning wreckage with his signature camera.
"Dude!" shouted Beast Boy, landing next to Cyborg, "Your car, it's been-!"
"Not NOW, Beast Boy!" Cyborg glared angrily, even going as far as to point his cannon at the green annoyance.
"Whoa, dude. I know you're pissed that I crushed your "baby" like the empty soda can it is, but that's no reason to point your gun at your own teammate," said the culprit. "Anyway, I still got a bit of fight left in me, and to be honest..." he trailed off as his blood red eyes began to swirl with black, "...I'm done playin nice," he said with a sinister look on his face. With a single motion of his fingers, the assailant shot a bolt of black lightning straight at Cyborg's chest, which flung him out of the construction site, ricocheting him back and forth between two buildings before he fell through the roof of a small shop that said, "adult" in big neon letters.
"Aw man. He was bad enough just the way he was, and now you're tellin me he's got superpowers!" groaned Beast Boy.
"Great, just what we-" Cyborg groaned as he stood up from the rubble, pausing in mid sentence after noticing a strange look from Beast Boy, "Um, something wrong, BB?"
"You know Cyborg, if you want me to take you seriously you're gonna have to put away your junk first. Seriously, it's just hangin' out there for the whole world to see," chuckled the assailant, holding his hand in front of his eyes.
"What do you mean my- OH COME ON!" groaned Cyborg as he saw that he was wearing a 12 inch purple strap-on.
"Yeah, you're right," the punk chuckled as he leaped down and brandished his sword. He swung it directly in front of Cyborg, cutting his new "appendage" down to only two inches, "Now it's at actual size!" he said with a jerky grin, just in time for the other Titans to arrive.
"Hey Robin, what took you so long? You and Starfire must've given those kids one hell of a show to be this late," he said, bumping his hips while slightly rotating them with a quite perverted grin on his face.
"Huh? But they never showed us how to hula-hoop!" Beast Boy whined while an angry Robin and Star stomped towards the scene.
"You'll find out when you're older, B," Robin said as he charged past him, using his pole to vault himself across the field and land a kick right at the prick in question, who blocked with his arms.
"Not bad," he chuckled.
"We're not done yet," Robin matched his grin. Before his opponent could react, he was pummeled with a fury of star bolts targeted at his backside. Robin dropped to the floor, and began hammering away at the confident rogue. The assailant could only attempt to inevitably block, successfully sandwiched between Robin's skillful punches and Starfire's relentless blasts. ... "You think this is...enough...to...defeat...ME?" he cried, surging his body with dark energy, forcing Robin and Starfire backward.
"Maybe not," Robin laughed as he sprung to his feat, "But THAT is!" he exclaimed, pointing upward. On cue, the exhausted darkness user looked up, the same wrecking ball he used to crush Cyborg's car, covered with an ominous black aura.
"You know, the whole making me taste my own medicine gag is really cliche'," he said just before the ball dropped on his head.
"But still effective," Raven said with a smirk on her face. However, that smirk quickly turned into a scowl as she saw her "victim" sitting on top of the wrecking ball she tried to squash him with.
"Seriously, a wrecking ball? After all the stunts I've pulled, that's the best you could come up with?" he asked with a bored look on his face. "I thought for sure you'd try to dismember or disembowel me, and then run me feet first through a wood chipper."
"Well, if you insist," she sighed, using her powers to pick up a chainsaw, an ice cream spoon, and a weed whacker.
"Now that's more like it!" he exclaimed with a wide grin. "C'mon BRING IT!" he challenged the ravenous Raven, charging eagerly at her. He drew his sword, parrying her dark-controlled objects at every turn.
"Hold still so I can cut you!" Raven bellowed, her four red eyes brimming with malice, chasing her prey from building to building. Naturally, there was some collateral damage; a house sliced in half, someone's office torn to pieces, and the occasional meat grinder turned to dust.
"Stubborn bird won't give up. Least she's cute," he chuckled, looking around as they fought, hoping he could find the perfect spot to end this little game of bird and worm. As Raven's chainsaw almost gave him a crew-cut, his eyes spotted a small shop labeled "Costumes 4 ALL the Ages." "Perfect," he grinned, taking his sword to Raven's chainsaw and slicing it in half. Raven countered by thrusting the weed whacker at him, but he kicked it out of her grip before landing on the ground and darting into the abandoned costume shop.
"You can't run forever, little bird," his voice echoed from all around her. From the walls, the floor, even from the clothes that hung all around her, "Though right now you look more like a frightened little bunny..."
Raven clenched her teeth, bracing herself and standing her ground, "I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I'm not..." she chanted.
"...so why don't we have you look the part?" the voice continued, ignoring her. This time, however, it seemed to come...
Raven's eyes widened, her body frozen stiff.
...from right behind her.
"KYAAAAAHH!" was all the Titans heard as they rushed to her aid. As they neared the building, a black shadow passed over it and blew the rubble outward for miles. Alas, it was in vain, for her tormentor had somersaulted safely nearby.
"Hehe," he chuckled, wiping his face where a thin scar had formed, "That was very much worth a little scar."
"What did he mean by-woah," Beast Boy gasped, unable to take his eyes off the sight before him. The other male Titans were having a similar problem.
"Um, I am still not accustomed to Earth fashion, but..." Starfire asked, puzzled, "...I do not think dressing up as a human bunny is normal, correct?"
"Dressing up as a...?" Raven questioned her before she looked down...and even her hair turned pink.
"She had most of the costume set up already. All I had to do was give her the ears, shoes, and the fluffy tail, and cut out the excess coverage" he said revealing two retractable wrist blades. "I'd have added the fishnet stockings too but with her legs, she doesn't even need them" he added.
"No Starfire, it's not..." Robin sighed, trying hard not to stare too hard at bunny-girl Raven.
"And why can you not take your eyes off her?" Starfire glared at Robin, "Am I not enough for...?"
"Would you like to wear the other-?" the perverted evil teen grinned, holding up a red-themed version.
"STAY OUT OF THIS!" the Tameranian roared.
"Fine by me, I'll just leave you two alone," he said, stepping aside and quickly pulling out his camera from his coat, "I'll just help myself, if you don't mind!"
"Oh, I MIND!" Raven cried, trying to dodge as many flashes as she could, attempting to use her magic to swipe the camera away.
"Sorry to burst your bubble, little rabbit, but this camera is automatically linked to the web, you see...
"No...you didn't...you wouldn't stoop so low as to..."
"I just did," he flashed the darkest grin the Titans had ever laid eyes on.
"He's right," Cyborg confirmed, "There's...wow...he's good."
"This...'web,'" questioned Starfire, "is it made from some sort of spider?"
"No, it's not," Robin answered, glaring at the prankster and extending his staff, "It means everyone in the world can see her in that...and he isn't going to get away with it."
"I've been doing a good job of that so far, haven't I?" he laughed out loud.
"Then it's time to do ours," Robin muttered before giving his famous order, "Titans, GO!"
"Well in that case, GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!" shouted the dark teen as he charged at them with sword in hand.
Robin led the battle by unleashing a flurry of attacks from his bo to clash with his opponent's blade with unmatched fury. The sword-wielder stood confident, eager to prove his skill to the leading Titan as he drew his blade...
which had decided at that moment to vanish from his arm.
"The spellcaster!" he thought, just before Robin's staff collided with his head, sending up soaring straight into the costume shop rubble. "Wow, I'm impressed," he smirked, pushing the rubble off himself, "But I cannot be defeated so...um, something on my face?"
"Tha~t's an understatement," Raven said flatly, while the other Titans tried to hold in their laughter.
"Please tell me I don't have something like a bra on my head," he groaned before Beast Boy handed him a mirror. His resulting facial expression cracked the mirror into 666 pieces. On the delinquent's face was now a pink wig, large round thick-rimmed glasses, and cat ears, "Pink-haired nekomimi meganekko...I'm going to kill the omnipotent asshole who came up with this." he grumbled, his own black aura tearing the offending parts off.
"Now where was I?" he grinned, brandishing his sword that barely was able to reflect a blast of green light.
"I will not give you that chance!" Starfire yelled, swarming him with a massive barrage of starbolts. It was all he could do to block the relentless blasts, but eventually he was overwhelmed, struck to the ground as the smoke devoured him.
"Jeez," he groaned, picking himself up, "Must be out of chi to not be able to dodge such-huh?" he looked up just as a black aura that was not his own surrounded him. He quickly jumped up, the field just missing his foot by inches, landing facing the Titans, calculating his next move. "Dammit, I can't be careless, not now. Now then, to get rid that pesky girl, I should..."
But before he could devise a strategy to defeat Raven, he was flattened by a green 100-ton right whale.
"And that got rid of you," Beast Boy grinned triumphantly after switching to his normal self.
Their nameless opponent was finally beaten, and flattened about 3 inches into the concrete. Raven used her powers to bind him as she plucked his bloody, mangled up body out of the ground.
"Caught you," Raven said with a satisfied smile.
Her prisoner simply lifted up his head and said, "Took you long enough."
The police arrived a few moments later to collect him from the Titans. As soon as he was handed over, he began to snicker. Everyone looked confused, then scared as the nut-job in question now began to laugh like a maniac.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! DAMN, THAT WAS WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME! Aw man, we really gotta do this again some time. I'll be sure to look you guys up once I get out of theses handcuffs," he said as he resumed laughing.
"That's IF you get out," smirked Robin as the Titans turned their backs on their defeated foe.
"I hope they lock him up for a reeeeally long time," said Raven.
"Agreed," Starfire replied, smiling up at the sky, "Oh, the sun! It is about to set. Shall we all go and eat those delicious cheese pies?"
"If you mean pizza, then let's go, I'm starving!" exclaimed Cyborg, leading the Titans in what would probably be a pizza frenzy.
After the Titans had finished their well-earned meal, they headed back to the Tower via Raven's teleportation power.
"Robin, are you alright? You have been quiet since we left the pizza place," said a concerned Starfire.
"You've been thinking about our fight with that freak earlier, haven't you?" Raven inquired. Robin nodded.
"He was messing with us from the start. He wasn't even fighting seriously and yet he..."
"So we do what we always do," shouted Cyborg, smacking his chest, "We learn from our mistakes and next time, we kick bad guy booty!"
"This isn't like some ordinary villain!" Robin slammed his fist into the wall, "This guy was too strong, like Slade-no, perhaps even stronger."
"Yes, but you are skilled now," assured Starfire, "You were saying last week how you could 'crap the kick' out of Slade now if he was still alive, right?"
"Maybe," he muttered, heaving a sigh before opening the door to the main room, "And it's 'kick the crap' out of, Star."
With their stomachs filled and their mood slightly better, the Titans headed back to their Tower sanctuary. The teens kicked off their shoes, gave a few yawns, and stepped into the main room. But instead of a dark, unoccupied room, they found a certain someone sitting on the couch, eating pizza, and watching Road Runner cartoons on their TV.
"Ha ha ha haaa, that coyote can fall off that cliff a million times and it would still be funny. Oh hey guys. What took you so long? I was startin' to get a little lonely," said the stranger as he turned around to face the Titans.
The Titans could not believe what they were seeing. The same bastard that gave them hell just a few hours ago was back in their Tower making himself at home, and looked completely unscathed.
"You guys happy to see me so soon?" he asked wearing his cockiest smile.
"What the-" gaped Cyborg.
"B-Buh-You-how did-why?" stammered Beast Boy.
"We left you in jail..." Raven said, trying not to let her emotions go wild.
"How did you escape?" demanded Robin, letting his emotions go wild.
"Oh, I didn't escape. When the court looked up my profile, they decided that I was way too dangerous to keep inside prison. So with consent from the mayor here, the judge sentenced me to a lifetime of community service. Which means, you guys are stuck with me 'til further notice." he said as he plugged his ears with two clean cotton balls.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" shouted all 5 Titans.
"We're expected at the mayor's office tomorrow at 8:00 am, he'll give you a more detailed briefing on what you guys are getting into," he said, popping the cotton balls out and handed Robin a handful of signed papers. "Oh, and he also wanted me to crash here for tonight, so you can all keep an eye on me," he finished.
After a long pause, Robin finally spoke. "Raven, you're on psychopath guard duty," he said without looking at her.
"My pleasure," Raven glared angrily at her prey.
"Relax, I've had my fun," he laughed as Raven sat down next to him while the tired Titans headed for bed, "figured I'd stay up and see what games you guys have to offer."
"You will not be touching anything, you...ugh," she sighed, "If I'm going to be watching you until morning, you could at least tell me what you name is."
The boy laughed and turned to the aggravated girl, "Call me Seiji."
A/N: (Andras777) This is our take on the next season of Teen Titans, and hope that this washes away the sour taste that "Things Change" has left behind for all you fans out there.
A/N: (ashura05) So if anyone was wondering what keeps taking my Azu-Diary fic so long to update, this is it. Don't worry, I'm still working on it in my spare time, but this will probably be my main focus for a while. Hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it!