A/N - this is my first story, would really like some constructive criticism, so if you could review it, it would be much appreciated, if you think I could make any changes, that would be good too. other than that - enjoy! xx

Here it is, 'the happiest day of my life'. Or so I've been told. But it's not. I'm possibly the most nervous person in the world right now. Today I marry Peeta; the boy with the bread, the second half of district twelve's star-crossed lovers. Today has to be perfect, for him; all he's ever wanted is a family. A wife. A child. That is one of the reasons that makes today less bearable.

Reason 1: I'm scared that it won't be perfect. If it's not, I would feel like I've failed Peeta; something I couldn't live with myself for.

Reason 2: I never imagined this day would come. I've imagined myself dead more times than I've thought about getting married, but even so, this day will be hard to face without certain people. Madge, Cinna and Prim; some of the people that I loved the most, who won't be there because of snow – even the thought of the snake like eyes sends shivers down my spine.

Reason 3: Peeta wants an explanation.

Currently, I am sat at the end of my bed, and my mother is braiding my hair, like she did on the day of the reaping. I'm wearing a green satin wedding dress, designed by Cinna. One of the only things I have left to remind me of him was a book of designs he gave me to prove I had a "talent" after we won the first games. I found it a few years ago, but kept it to myself. Cinna was mine, not Peeta's; anyway he wouldn't understand. When we announced the engagement, the one thing Greasy Sae wanted to do was make the dress. I showed her my favourite design, a knee-length forest green dress made of satin, and gave her money to buy the materials from district 8. I rub the satin between my first finger and thumb, which calms me down. As we speak, Peeta is at Haymitch's getting ready and my mother is helping me here.
"There you go" my mother says as she places the last hair pin into my hair.
"Thanks" I say, managing to give her a hug. Although it's been five years since the end of the rebellion, since we said goodbye to the old Panem, I still find my relationship with my mother… "Awkward"
Thankfully there is a knock at the door and I can end the awkward hug to answer it. I walk downstairs, making sure not to crumple my dress. I open the door to find Sae and her granddaughter, grey.

"Katniss" sae says, it looks as if she is going to cry "You look beautiful" she says as she embraces me.
"Well, the dress was made by the best" I say.
"I made you this" grey says as she hands me a stone sculpture of a bird, for once it's not a mockingjay. No, this time it's a dove, carved out of black stone.
"Wow, grey it's beautiful. I love it; and Peeta will too." I say. This makes her smile. Grey is probably around 14 and looks after her grandmother very well. She is a very gifted sculptor, and is fascinated by Peeta's art. She reminds me of Peeta a lot. Curly blonde hair and blue eyes, they could be related. Grey and her grandmother are dressed for the occasion, and I can't help thinking about how well the simple bright blue summer dress suits grey, obviously sae's work. Sae, on the other hand, is wearing a midnight blue dress. I invite them in and make some tea, once again being careful not to ruin the dress. I wonder whether Peeta will notice Cinna's work, or sae's. I hope he would. Thinking about the dress, I realised that there is a way that Madge and Prim can be at the wedding too.
"Sorry" I say as I put down my tea. "I'll be back in a minute" I run upstairs, past my mother, not even caring about ruining the dress now, I just care about what I'm looking for. I run into my room and head straight for the chest of drawers. "Where is it, where is it?" I mumble to myself, until finally
"Yes!" I let out a small shriek.

There it is, the Small duck pendant, which Peeta made me. He melted down the mockingjay pin; Madge had given to me as a token for the games- which turned out to be the symbol of rebellion, and moulded it into the shape of a little duck, to remind me of prim. I didn't wear it though; it was proof that they were gone; something I didn't want proof of. But today, I feel I can accept that they haven't gone, they never will. There not here, but they always will be. I put the pendant on and sits just above my chest, over my heart. For a while, I just sit on my bed and think, about how I can relax slightly now, now that one of the reasons has been cut from the list. I am brought back to reality when there is another knock at the door, I stare at the clock. 3:00 in the afternoon. My stomach twists as I know who that will be, I don't get up. I don't even move from this spot.

I picture the wedding. We are getting married in the meadow; I wouldn't want it to be anywhere else. Delly's husband Thom, who is also one of gale's old friends, will be marrying us. He is the only one that is qualified to in 12. Gale's family will be there; including gale, who I haven't seen in a long time. Peeta insisted on him coming, he knew I wouldn't feel right if my best friend wasn't there. Effie will be attending, and of course Greasy sae and grey. But most importantly, the person who is stood at the doorstep right now will be more than attending. At this moment my mother is welcoming in Haymitch, who will be taking the father's role of "giving me away"

Once again I have to be brought back to reality by somebody, this time my mother. "Katniss? Katniss, come on – Haymitch is here, so I'm going to go with sae and grey" by this point she's in my room, holding my hand. "We'll see you later, good luck" she embraces me, and with that she's off. I wait until I hear the front door click shut before leaving my room. I slip on my shoes and decide I shouldn't leave Haymitch waiting. I walk down the stairs and find it hard to believe that the man I see in front of me is the same man that face-dived off the stage at my first reaping; the same drunken man of whom Peeta and I had to limit the alcohol intake. Haymitch stands in front of me, wearing a suit that is either new, or has recently been washed for the occasion, Peeta's been looking after him. Even he seems a little nervous.
"Wow, Haymitch" I ready my mouth to say more, but there isn't anything else to say "…Just… wow" I say, a little lost for words
"You don't look too bad yourself sweetheart" he mocks. But then his face turns from laughter to pride. "But seriously, I'm proud of you. And loverboy; of course." He says, joking again.
"Haymitch… I. I just wanted to say…" I breathe in "Thank you" I sigh. He looks confused, so I explain. "You kept us alive, you kept him alive, This day wouldn't happen if it weren't for you, even if you were too drunk to realize it half the time" It's weird opening up to Haymitch, it feels… unnatural. Haymitch doesn't say anything, but the next thing that happens is very strange. I think Haymitch… hugs me. I hug him back, because I realise; Haymitch really is proud of us.
"Right, better get you off to bread boy. He's the one that you should be hugging today, sweetheart, not me." He checks his cufflinks and links my arm in his.

The walk to the meadow is not long, roughly a five minutes from our house. The electric fence was taken down and replaced by a gate a long time ago, but I still find myself checking for a buzz
"got to get out of that habit, sweetheart" Haymitch jokes, but it makes me self-conscious. I can see everyone at the bottom of the meadow, and can hear Rory playing the guitar. Peeta and I got it for him from our last visit to the capital for his birthday. He's gotten really good at it and offered to play today. Rory is now 18, Rory is 16 and little posy is 11 now. Posy looks a lot like a young Hazelle. When we get to the actual wedding party, I find myself gripping Haymitch's arm a little tighter. He then takes my hand and passes it to Peeta's. Haymitch gives me a nod of approval, like he used to when we were first declared victors. When this was an act. I look into Peeta's eyes. He wears a black suit and bow tie, his blonde curls glistening in the sun. "Hey" I whisper. By now I've forgotten everything except who I'm with. "Hey" he whispers back in his very soft, beautiful voice. I must have been unconsciously participating for the wedding, as the next thing I hear is
"I now pronounce you man and wife" by Thom whose voice is now very proud. He turns to Peeta "You may now kiss the bride" he says. We kiss as our friends and family watch us, and cheer. The kiss reminds me of the one we had that night in the cave, the first real kiss; the first one that wasn't just for food or sponsors, but because we needed each other. The next few minutes is full of congratulations, and pats on the back. But then, my mother guides people back to the house to pick up baskets of food. Peeta and I are left alone for a while.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Mellark." Peeta says, as his eyes twinkle under the sun. "And may I say, what a beautiful dress that is that you are wearing"
"Thanks" I say he can sense the pain in my voice. His eyes stop twinkling and his smile drops.
" Katniss, what's up?" he asks.
"It's… it's nothing" I say. I've never been a good liar. He knows immediately what's wrong.
"The dress, it's one of Cinna's isn't it?" he says. I look up into his eyes as I hold his hands
"I miss him Peeta" I say starting to feel some tears hovering over the edges of my eyes "Why did no-one do anything before us? why were we the first to try and stop snow?" by now I'm on the edge.
Peeta holds my arms.
"Shhhh." He says – calming me down. "Katniss, it's okay. I know you miss Cinna, I do too, but I can't bring him back." I manage to stop the tears,
"I know, I know." I say
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asks "It's not like you to get so worked up about things"
"I'm fine. Anyway, don't worry about me. Enjoy yourself" I tell him
"Don't worry about you? You're my wife; it's my job to worry" he laughs. His face brightens at the fact that we're married.

My mother comes back with about a million picnic baskets and various other containers of food. The day continues on with food, music, games, dancing, smiling and laughing. I don't know where Peeta learned to dance, but he's great at it. Haymitch tried to teach me, but it failed, so Haymitch gave up and got drunk. Everyone is having a good time; including Peeta, but I can't help feeling like something's wrong, something's… different.

By the evening, most people have gone home, the only people left here in the meadow are Peeta, me, Delly, Thom and Gale. It's nice to see Gale and Thom together again. Gale's only in town for the week; he has to go back to 2 eventually. He comes round to see his family every year, only once or twice, but this was special. I didn't want him to come. Ever since the revolution, he's been broken. Sae told me that he's been like that for a while, since he saw me and Peeta in the 74th games, she said he was never quite the same again. Watching him smile is wonderful though, to see him less crushed, and like he was 10 years ago, back when things were normal between us.
"Well, we better be off, guys." Thom says. "Congratulations" Delly stands up behind him and smiles at us – before yawning, and resting her head against Thom's chest.
"I better go too" gale says. "Congrats catnip" he says as he scruffs my hair. "You take care of her" he says to Peeta and pats him on the shoulder. He walks up through the meadow and into the distance. I rest my head on Peeta's lap as we sit in the grass and watch the sun set over district 12. We sit in silence for a few minutes, but Peeta can't help himself.
"Katniss, what's wrong. Is it nightmares, do you feel sick, just tell me" he bursts out. I pretend not to hear him. "Katniss" he repeats. Suddenly my head sticks up.
"Can you hear that?" I ask
"Katni-"
"No Peeta, seriously!" I interrupt. He looks a little taken back. "No. I can't, why? Can you hear something?" All I can hear is loud sharp buzzes replacing Peeta's soft voice. They continue to get louder and louder until they just…stop.