Floofie
Chapter One: Man vs. Beast
By Belladonna Dwale
General Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of the characters except for three: Floofie, Stella, and Selene. Please don't sue me. If you do you all you'll get is my sisters and I'd feel very sorry for you
Author's note: This story is set in the summer and it is told from Snape's point of view. It's set in the summer so obviously Snape isn't working at Hogwarts. For the whole purpose of the story he will be working for the Ministry. Another thing. All though this is a parallel story (so to say) for VOLDY-POO! there are a few differences. Keep these in mind. Blanch isn't in this one, Sirius is innocent and there are a few new characters.
Grrrrrrrrrrr. Rip, rip, rip. My eyes slowly open and I see my toy poodle, Floofie sitting at the foot of my bed with some fabric in his mouth. It takes me a few seconds to realize that the fabric was my slipper. I curse under my breath and the remains of my slippers fall from Floofie's mouth. He runs up and licks my face. I roll out of bed causing the mutt to fall on the ground.
It is then that I notice my wardrobe is wide open and all my robes are on the floor. I stumble like a drunken man towards it and see all my robes in shreds at the bottom of the wardrobe. Only one is whole. It's my bright red dress robe that's about half my age and smells of mothballs. I look at it in disgust. The only robes that weren't in the wardrobe are dirty and in dire need of washing which I don't have time for before work. I curse a vile oath and give Floofie the evil eye. Floofie doesn't notice this because he's playing with the remains of my slippers. I go to the bathroom to comb my hair where I find Floofie has left me a "surprise". Great. I quickly clean it up. Then I run my comb through my hair, brush my teeth and decide to take Floofie for a short walk.
Although taking a toy poodle for a walk may seem simple in theory it is actual much more difficult. There are many things you have to do before you go out. First I put on a black jogging suit (which he didn't destroy because it was next to my red robes) and then fold up my pajamas (green with silver trim of course). The next thing is to get the dog on the leash.
"Floofie! Sit!" Floofie continues jumping up and down but doesn't sit. "Floofie! Sit!" The dog continues jumping. "FLOOFIE SIT YOUR BLOODY ARSE ON THE FLOOR!"
The bloody thing starts barking. Finally after several minutes the dog is on the leash and I take him outside. Now you would think it would go down hill from there. No, actually, it doesn't. Floofie sees several squirrels, cats and people. Each time he sees a squirrel or a cat he starts barking and he tries to chase after it. When people go by he tries to run up to them. Not to mention a few of the people see Floofie and remark "what an adorable puppy" she is and they are curious as to "what her name is". I politely inform them that his name is Floofie.
Finally our short "walk" (which felt like I ran 10 kilometers) comes to an end. Floofie and I go inside. Actually, I suppose I should say I dragged Floofie inside. Now I have the difficult task to get the bloody leash off of him.
"Floofie, sit!" The dog is trying to run off. I start threatening the dog and finally he obeys. I take off the leash and he disappears.
I finally can go into the kitchen and pour a bowl of breakfast cereal for myself. Floofie comes in and starts begging to be fed. I decide to ignore him and enjoy the disgusting cereal as much as I can. It's nothing but sugar and on the front of the box is an insane leprechaun man who's always running from children. I hate this junk but Stella makes me buy it. I glance at the clock and realize that it's time to wake her up. Before I do this I feed Floofie some canned food and then some of that dry stuff dogs seem to love. Now I head to my room, change into my heinous red dress robes and go to wake Stella up.them. Not to mention a few of the people see Floofie and remark "what an adorable puppy" she is and they are curious as to "what her name is". I politely inform them that his name is Floofie.
Finally our short "walk" (which felt like I ran 10 kilometers) comes to an end. Floofie and I go inside. Actually, I suppose I should say I dragged Floofie inside. Now I have the difficult task to get the bloody leash off of him.
"Floofie, sit!" The dog is trying to run off. I start threatening the dog and finally he obeys. I take off the leash and he disappears.
I finally can go into the kitchen and pour a bowl of breakfast cereal for myself. Floofie comes in and starts begging to be fed. I decide to ignore him and enjoy the disgusting cereal as much as I can. It's nothing but sugar and on the front of the box is an insane leprechaun man who's always running from children. I hate this junk but Stella makes me buy it. I glance at the clock and realize that it's time to wake her up. Before I do this I feed Floofie some canned food and then some of that dry stuff dogs seem to love. Now I head to my room, change into my heinous red dress robes and go to wake Stella up.