A/N: This is just a random idea that my friend put in my head. I love and respect Harry Potter and mean nothing by the content in this fanfic. I jus thought it would be funny. Some of the jokes are from the movie 'Meet The Spartans' which I found very amusing. Oh, and for those of you who don't know, a wookie is one of those big hairy things on Star Wars. Well that's about it. I guess all that's let now is for me to shut up and let you get on reading, so…enjoy the fanfic!
Harry's Yo Mama Battle
This is it. The final battle. Harry Potter, the black haired trouble making wizard hero was about to fight Tom Riddle, A.K.A: Voldemort. Voldemort is feared to be the greatest wizard ever. Most fear saying his name. With his evil eyes much like a cats Voldemort surveyed young Harry. Well, sorta young. Harry was 17. In the wizarding world that was considered a man. Harry clutched his wand tightly. Voldemort laughed. It was high pitched and made the crowd of onlookers' flinch.
"Are you frightened Harry Potter?" Voldemort sneered and laughed again. More flinching from the onlookers.
"In your dreams. Be prepared Tom. I shall not lose!" Harry roared. The two stepped towards each other. The late evening air played across their faces but neither had eyes for anything but each other.
"Fine, we will let the lucky loser go first." Voldemort's supporters, the death eaters, chuckled.
"Well it looks like your going first then." Harry shrugged. The crowd laughed.
"You dare defy me?" Voldemort snarled. "Very well, but it will be your downfall."
Harry braced himself as Voldemort reached into his cloak. He pulled out a gangster hat and put it on sideways. The hat was green and said 'Yeah Yeah Yeah, Slytherin!' on it. Voldemort put on a long silver chain with an emerald encrusted V on it. The death eaters roared their approval. Harry smirked and a tall red haired boy with freckles ran to Harry. Not far behind him was a girl with bushy brown hair and large front teeth. They each started handing Harry dozen or so items.
"Thanks Ron, Hermione." Harry also had a hat and chain. His hat was red with a golden lion on the front. The chain was gold and the word 'Gryffindor' was hanging from it in shiny red letters. Harry put on red grills and some gold jewelry.
"You ready Tom? Don't think I'll take it easy on you just because you're old!" Harry said and the crowd remained silent. They were afraid Voldemort would kill them.
"Get ready Potter." Was all Voldemort said. The air was thick and uncomfortable as the crowd and death eaters waited. Voldemort was the worldwide Yo Mama champion. The death eaters were positive that the inexperienced Potter boy wouldn't stand a chance.
"Yo Mama is so fat, when she tries to jump in a swimming pool all the water jumps out." The death eaters cheered.
"Yo Mama is so blonde she thought the Grand Canyon was in Canada." Harry's fans gasped.
"Yo Mama is so stupid when a wood pecker lands on her head nothing but a deep hollow sound comes out." More death eater cheering.
"Yo Mama is so ugly if she tries to put a bag over her head the bag burns up and whines "Lord have mercy on my soul!" Some of the crowd laughed. They gave Harry looks of admiration.
"Yo mama is so fat that when she farts President Clinton accuses her of global warming." Voldemort's supporters nearly died laughing.
"Oh yeah? Well Yo mama is so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie!" Most of Harry's supporters fell doubled over with laughter.
"Yeah? Well Yo mama is dead!" Voldemort waited for the sound of cheering. It never came.
"That ain't funny dawg…" Some random gangster shouted from the crowd. Even the death eaters agreed.
"What, it was so funny!" Voldemort glared at everyone.
"Laugh or I will kill you all once I take over the world!" Voldemort didn't notice Hermione hand Ron a spatula. Ron handed the spatula to Harry. Harry crept silently like a cat until he was right behind Voldemort. Then BANG! Voldemort fell to the ground, dazed and unconscious.
"Harry won! The world is safe!" A little girl shouted gleefully. Everyone, death eater and crowd alike, ran forward and hugged every bit of Harry they could reach. Ron's younger red haired sister kissed him on the cheek. Voldemort was taken to a special jail that was impossible to escape from, whether magic or muggle. There he stayed for the rest of his life. Harry was forever remembered as a hero and the world was peaceful once more.
A/N: Well, there ya go. I know it was short, but this isn't really something I planned on writing. It just popped into my head before dinner today. I'll try to update it if anything funny chooses to reveal itself. For now just try to like it, even just a little bit.