The Star Festival had arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom once again, when the Star Bits fell down to Earth and the sky cleared to reveal many sparkling dots against an inky-blue sky. And that meant it was time for celebration.
It was now late in the evening, the feast dishes had been cleared away, the massive cake Peach had baked was almost all gone and they were running out of fireworks. But Peach wasn't too concerned, because there was still the grand finale, and it was sure to be a bang - literally.
So far, none of the Toads had yet questioned the purpose of the giant red, white and blue cannon parked by the remains of the cake, but they'd find out soon enough.
Peach gently patted the side of the cannon and looked up at Mario inside, all ready to go, having replaced his trademark red cap with a white and red helmet. "Are you okay up in there? We'll be starting in a few minutes."
Mario brought out one of his hands in a thumbs-up signal.
Peach smiled. "Good." She wheeled the cannon out to where the Toads, plus Luigi, were dancing to spacey 80's pop music. She cleared her throat and every stopped and turned around.
"May I present to you," Peach waved her hands at the cannon, "our Grand Finale! Say goodbye to Mario, for he'll be gone for a while!"
Mario rolled his eyes. He wouldn't be gone for that long! He and Peach had arranged it so that he would land in New Donk City where Pauline would be waiting to launch him back as part of her own festivities. The whole journey shouldn't take more than ten minutes, tops.
"Whaaat?" Luigi cried. "Maaario, that's dangerous! What if you get hurt?"
"Oh relax, Luigi," Mario responded. "It's perfectly safe! Daisy tested it out herself a few days ago!"
Luigi's eyes grew as big as saucers. "Oh my gosh, is she alright?!"
"Yes, she's fine! Just calm down!"
Peach produced a match and lit the fuse. "Countdown from ten!"
"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five!"
The fuse grew shorter.
"Four!"
Luigi bit his nails.
"Three!"
A Toad briefly choked on his mouthful of cake.
"Two!"
Mario stuck one fist out in a Superman pose.
"One!"
The explosion tore through the chill air with a cloud of confetti and Mario soared away, still with his fist out. Peach watched him get smaller and smaller with a twinkle, a proud grin on her face. Then she noticed the tape on the ground a little ways away from her, the tape she and Mario had put down to mark the spot where they were SUPPOSED to put the cannon.
"Oh dear," she said quietly to herself, hoping that she wouldn't have to tell Luigi that she screwed up the whole launch procedure and sent his brother flying into some unknown corner of the world.
Mario really wished he had brought a pair of goggles with him. The wind pulled at his eyelids, his eyes misted up but he couldn't blink it away. His lips wobbled and his clothes felt like they would be ripped from his body entirely.
As he began to slow his ascent he took a quick look around and spied the ocean and familiar rocky cliffs crowded with moving figures. He could, gradually, make out more details, such as the old, weather-beaten start/finish line. Koopa Beach! Damn! They must have misplaced the cannon!
Mario realised that he wasn't just getting better at noticing things, he was falling closer to the small black hole in the ground. He clenched his eyes in anticipation. This was going to hurt!
And sure enough, he found himself slamming into both a smooth, curved metal surface and several pointy objects, his back aching in protest. When he looked up he saw a circle of the sky. It took him a minute to realise he was in another cannon. The sound of shouting voices gave off an echo. But two seemed closer than the rest.
"Alright, time to set this bad boy off!"
"I've got the fuse! This'll be a fireworks display no one will ever forget!"
Inside the cannon, Mario groped at the objects and his blood ran cold. Uh oh…
A faint whiff of smoke filled the air.
"Hey!" Mario called, "I'm in here!"
"Eh?"
"Dude, there's someone in the cannon!"
"Well, too late now!"
Brilliant.
BANG! Mario was off again, over the sea as the whistle of fireworks resounded in his ears. There was a burning sensation in his arms and back, but he had bigger issues to worry about. Like the fact that he seemed to be going really high, higher than what was normal for a cannon.
Through his impaired vision he could make out the horizon, over which fireworks exploded, emanating from the different townships and cities. The bright bursts of colour burnt into his eyes and reflected off of the millions of grains of sand that stretched out suddenly for miles before him.
Mario thought he knew the place with a passing recognition and his suspicions were confirmed when the lights of the castle at Sarasaland welcomed him as he suddenly felt his feet land on the ground and skid for a couple of metres.
Mario barely had time to comprehend the situation, because almost immediately he heard a startled shriek and felt a striking pain in his stomach, and before he knew it he was flying through the air again. He looked down and saw Daisy reeling back from a kick, staring up at him with an unreadable expression on his face as he disappeared from her view with a twinkle. He put two and two together and figured he'd startled her and she reflexively kicked him into the stratosphere, literally. He was going really high, almost straight up.
The moon was shining brightly and his eyes watered once again at the sight. It was huge, with a little black spot. Mario rapidly approached it until the moon was the only thing he could see, apart from the black spot. But then the spot suddenly formed a pointed top and several protrusions with dome-shaped masses on top. Rosalina was here! Maybe she could help him!
"Mama, Mama, look! Mario!"
Rosalina turned to see Mario flying straight for them, a soft orange glow on his arms and back. Ah, there he was.
"Yes, Peach, I see him now. I'll send him on to New Donk City, okay? Goodbye." Rosalina hung up and sighed. Ever since she bought a phone, Peach had been blowing it up with calls about all sorts of random stuff until Rosalina told her, gently but firmly, to only call in an emergency. And, when Mario didn't come back after a while, Peach had hysterically whisper-shouted the situation (so Luigi wouldn't hear and get even more hysterical) and Rosalina had promised to help once she found him. And, lo and behold, here he was.
Rosalina didn't waste another second. She produced her wand and waved it around. Immediately, the Comet Observatory began to change shape. The walls and floors bended around into a cylinder, sealed at one end with the Kitchen's chimney sticking out, mimicking a fuse.
The Observatory had transformed into a cosmic cannon.
Mario groaned when he saw what was happening before him. Not another cannon!
Before he could react, he was already inside it, and being doused with something wet and steamy. Immediately, the burning sensation quelled.
"Good evening, Mario," Rosalina's ever-calm voice announced. "I'm just going to send you on to New Donk City, is that alright with you? Peach said that Pauline would be waiting for you."
"Whatever," Mario sighed, "wait, how do you know…"
"Peach called me." Rosaline lit the chimney "fuse" with her wand. "Ten seconds…oh, and you were on fire, by the way."
It was probably those fireworks at Koopa Beach, Mario though as he gazed through the hole and took a deep breath. This was getting really old and he couldn't wait to get back home and have a shower.
The fuse ignited the cannon and poor old Mario was launched on a direct course to New Donk City and disappeared with a twinkle.
He had to admit, the view was breathtaking. The moonlight glinted off of the streams and rivers, transforming them into glowing paths through the countryside. People were still launching fireworks above the pools of light that were the towns and cities and the sky was ablaze with the different colours.
Eventually he spotted the distant lights of New Donk City approaching rapidly, and soon after that he saw the massive glittery cannon rushing up to meet him. When he landed in the cannon he felt nothing except dazed, but he had no time to lose. Pauline would be almost ready by now.
He scrambled the right way up and stuck his head back out, taking a couple of deep, city exhaust-filled breaths to help stop his head from spinning. All around him he saw a large crowd, much larger than the one back at the Mushroom Kingdom. He hoped he didn't look too green or sickly.
Pauline climbed up on the elegant wooden stage and tilted her head back to face him. "You sure took your time getting here."
Mario shrugged.
"So, how was your flight?"
"Oh, hah hah," Mario cringed inwardly at the lame pun and his stomach began to ache. Not just from Daisy's kick, but an ache he knew just as well. "Just send me back before I get really sick."
Pauline frowned. "You're not going to throw up, are you?"
"I will if I don't get back home."
"Are you sure you'll be alright? I can get you a glass of water or something…"
"I'll be fine, don't worry." Mario said. He actually did feel a bit better. Maybe the deep breaths had done the trick, for now.
"All right." Pauline struck a match and lit the fuse before the cheering crowd. "On the count of ten!"
"Ten! Nine! Eight!"
This helmet's really sweaty, Mario thought.
"Seven! Six! Five!"
I wonder where he's been all this time, Pauline thought.
"Four! Three! Two! One!"
Pauline watched him disappear with a twinkle, proud of him for being so brave as to let himself be launched out of not one, but two cannons.
Mario barely felt the explosion. He barely listened to the crowd. He barely noticed the magnificent view from the sky. The only thing that caught his attention was the huge castle with Peach's portrait on the front, and knew he'd arrived back home. When he landed once and for all on the massive trampoline (this time in the correct spot) he felt his ill feelings return, made even worse by Peach's strong perfume when she rushed over and swept him up in a massive hug.
"Oh, Mario!" she cried, "I'm so so so so so sorry! I promise that will never happen again!..." her words melded into one another until Mario could no longer distinguish what she was saying.
"Mario!" it was Luigi, "I was beginning to think I'd never see you again!"
"Welcome back, Mario!' one of the Toads called.
Peach released him from her iron hug and looked at him, singed, sweaty and in obvious pain. "Are you feeling alright?"
Mario's only response was to suddenly puke onto the grass.