A Snow Day In Aperture

by The Clerik

When GLaDOS accidentally fills all of Aperture with a blizzard, Chell convinces her to take the day off! What do the inhabitants of Aperture get up to on a snow day?

[Author's Note: Oh, I bet a title like that has made some of you curious, right? Welcome! I hope you enjoy this piece of out-of-season fluff in the halls of Aperture!

Now, couple notes! Namely, A Snow Day In Aperture is written in continuity with my other fluffy romance fics, "Not Even Real Science", "GLaDOS, You Are Cordially Invited", "Sing For Me", and "A Little Bit Of Give And Take"! But, I don't exactly expect you to go out and read those, so here's all you need to know: GLaDOS, ATLAS, and P-Body all have synthetic android bodies, GLaDOS and Chell are dating, and ATLAS and P-Body are both really hot for each other! There, you're caught up. Oh, and if you do feel like reading my other fics, go ahead! They're cute romance pieces too!

Enjoy!]

"Snowing?!" gasped Chell. "It's snowing in Aperture?!"

"Yes," GLaDOS frowned. "I thought I made that wildly clear. Maybe you have brain damage again?"

But her words fell on deaf ears as the over-excited human darted to the nearest window, and indeed, it was snowing outside. In the vast, immeasurable spaces between the test chambers, snowflakes tumbled lazily through the air. They seemed to dance through the air, creating vast patterns of gorgeous white until they either came in to contact with a test chamber, or fell out of sight.

"I... I... oh my god, how did this even happen?!" Chell couldn't help but giggle with childlike glee at the site, and she started to hop up and down with excitement.

GLaDOS bit her lip, and turned away from Chell in an expression that wasn't quite shame, but was certainly in the same ballpark. "There... may have been some experiments with weather manipulation that went mildly out of hand. Mildly. I took a series of hydrogen particles suspended in a quantum-"

"SNOW DAY SNOW DAY SNOW DAY!"screamed Chell at the top of her lungs, as she grabbed GLaDOS' hands and started to dance around the room. The poor android was forced to follow the hysterical human, until Chell's foot slipped on the laundry she had strewn across her bedroom, and she fell on to her bed, drawing GLaDOS on top of her.

"... What. Are. You. Doing." breathed GLaDOS with a glare, but Chell was far too busy being bent over with utter laughter at her own reaction. To shut her up, GLaDOS' swiped a pillow from behind her former test subject's head and introduced it at high speed to her face.

"Gah!" laughed Chell, tossing the pillow across the room. "Oh, please holster your pillow, sir knight! Lest you wound me with your cotton sword!"

GLaDOS considered hitting the human with yet another pillow (for Chell kept oh so many on her bed), realized that the odds of it actually working were about equal with the odds of that moron ever getting back to earth, and settled for sighing with annoyance. "You are a lunatic."

"What, am I not allowed to be happy when I'm hanging out with my girlfriend?"

"I am not your girlfriend." stammered GLaDOS far too quickly.

"Sure, sure," giggled Chell, wiping the tears of laughter out of her eyes. "Whatever you say, sweetie."

"We've only been on a few dates!"

"... Said the girl currently sprawled across my bed."

GLaDOS sputtered in frustration, and immediately pulled herself away and stomped for the door. "You are impossible."

"W- wait!" The human frowned, and untangled herself from her own bedsheets."Where are you going?"

The android stomped across the living room of Chell's quarters, kicking her laundry out of the way, and occasionally just in spite. "SOME of us actually have work to do. Of course, meanwhile, others just sit around and suck up resources like a fat vacuum with no sense of-"

The sentence was brought to an immediate halt, as Chell's light finger tips brushed up GLaDOS' arms. Although the android would be loath to admit it, senses were still nearly entirely alien to her, and the simple act of gentle pressure was enough to completely derail her train of thought.

"I'm sorry," said Chell quietly. "I shouldn't have tried to push the 'girlfriend' thing."

GLaDOS' sighed, and raised her hands to perform the exact same action on Chell. She was still rusty with physical affection, but she was fairly certain doing the exact same thing that Chell does to her was a good way to keep from screwing up. "It's fine. I'll find some way in my vast and magnanimous heart to forgive you."

"... Gee. Thanks."

The two stood in the cascading light of the snow dancing through Aperture, and GLaDOS slowly drew Chell forward.

"Hey," Chell smiled as she finally noticed. "Is it just me, or are you trying to kiss me?"

"Mmm, what a ridiculous thought. You clearly have more brain damage. What a shame." GLaDOS almost whispered.

"A shame." Chell echoed, just before their lips met. A bolt of energy seemed to dart through both of their spines, and their bodies stiffened as they drew each other closer. The kiss grew deeper and harder, almost desperate, as though they'd never get another kiss again, and Chell marveled that she was almost starting to enjoy the strange synthetic taste of the android.

"Mmm," murmured Chell as they finally broke apart. "Feel free to do that as often as you'd want."

"Oh, please. Like I'd ever want to kiss you."

GLaDOS smirked and quickly kissed Chell's cheek before she could respond. "I'll pop in again after testing."

Chell was still flying high on that kiss, until that finally connected. "Wait, what? You can't go to work! It's a snow day!"

"... What does that even mean?" GLaDOS arched a single eyebrow as Chell stomped in frustration.

"It's a human thing! Sometimes, if it snowed enough, they'd let us off from school for the day!"

"... This isn't school."

"And you're not human! Clearly, we're just bending the rules at this point!" Chell tried a charming smile, and reached out to grasp GLaDOS' hand. "Pretty please? I want to spend the day with you."

GLaDOS glared at Chell and beat a rhythm in to her thigh with her other hand. "Stop smiling."

Chell smiled even harder.

"I said stop that."

She drew GLaDOS' hand to her mouth and gently kissed it.

GLaDOS made a purring noise in the back of her throat, which slowly turned in to a growl. "Oh, fine. But if the entire facility explodes, I'm going to blame you. And glare at your charred corpse."

"YAY!" Chell burst in to a broad smile, which made GLaDOS almost laugh at the childish glee of it. Almost, but not quite. Can't let the poor girl know she's getting to her.

Chell sprinted to her bedroom, bouncing along in her long fall boots, before running back to GLaDOS with winter jackets in hand. "Here! We can wear this when we head outside!"

"... Why did you just happen to have those?"

"I'm preparing for the inevitable war between man and snowman."

"... Really?"

"Nope."

. . . . . . .

"Oh my god," gasped ATLAS. "That is... almost shockingly cold."

"... Then stop standing in it, ATLAS." chided P-Body.

"Well, see, that's just crazy talk."

The Hub, despite being a massive living space for the Co-Operative Testing Initiative, was still riddled with holes in the infrastructure. Because, well, GLaDOS never really felt like fixing them, and it's not as if there were any blizzards around to be a problem.

Today was the kind of day that made GLaDOS feel spectacularly silly.

"I mean- oh my god, PB, you have to come try this!" The stout android hopped up and down in the snow drift, with a massive smile painted across his face. "It's like... okay, so water, right? Only white and fluffy! So, I guess, like, the diametric opposite of water, huh."

The leggy android could only smile at her testing partner, as she hid in the corner under a detached panel to avoid getting any of it on herself. "I think t- the word you're looking for is snow."

ATLAS giggled to himself as he swatted a passing snowflake out of the air, only for it to melt in his hand. "Well, whatever it is, it is several concurrent kinds of neat. Come play with me!"

"... Um. I think I'm good. Water and high tech androids generally don't go together well."

"Oh, come on!" ATLAS spun around on the spot, giving P-Body an ample opportunity to observe the... interesting effects between the wet snow and tight jumpsuit. "Is this what human beings feel like when they get cold?! It's amazing! I have no idea why anybody would ever complain about this-"

ATLAS' impromptu dance routine was interrupted as his foot met a particularly slick patch of snow, and he went tumbling down, face first.

P-Body was halfway across the Hub before the echo of ATLAS' fall finished bouncing around the room. "ATLAS?! Oh god, oh god, oh god-"

As she ran, her long legs cut in to the thick snow, barely clicking against the panels beneath it, until she made it to her fallen partner. Okay. Okay. Okay. Fall. Head trauma? How do I check? Do androids even get concussions?! Oh god, oh god. Snow. Is it the snow? Did it get in his wiring?! Is it in MY wiring?! His breathing is okay, good, good. No mark, no bleeding, but why isn't he talking-

"You know, PB," ATLAS' voice was barely above a whisper. "I appreciate the effort, but... you know, this whole 'snow' thing is actually very comfortable."

"... You ass!" P-Body gently slapped ATLAS across the chest. "I thought you were really hurt!"

"S- sorry I didn't let you play nursemaid, dear," ATLAS laughed softly to himself.

It was just about then that they realized exactly how close they were to each other. P-Body's breath caught in her throat, as she suddenly noticed how she was spread across ATLAS' chest, and ATLAS met her eyes with a slow smolder.

Heartbeats passed as the delicate white snow danced around them.

"... Hi."

"Hi!" ATLAS grinned, and had to stop himself from pulling her even closer. "How's the view?"

P-Body blushed through the cold. "It's... not terrible."

"Oh, just what every boy wants to hear."

P-Body made to pull herself off of her partner, only for him to stop her with a gentle brush of his hand across her hair. "You... you don't have to get up right away, you know."

"Oh, really?" P-Body froze, her heart beating so loud that she was sure he could hear it.

"Mmm. Just maybe," ATLAS sighed in contentment, and looked up to watch the swirling chaos of the snow above. "Maybe I can let you play nursemaid after all."

"... I don't think n- nurses involve a lot of cuddling."

"They do if they're doing their jobs right!"

. . . . . . .

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL IN THE APERTURE SCIENCE FASHION CONTAINMENT VAULT!" A clipped voice blasted through the Containment Vault's shrill intercom system. "PLEASE EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY! CARRY ALL THE CLOTHING YOU CAN! DO NOT LET SNOW CONTAMINATE THE TEST SUBJECTS!"

And deep in the layers and layers of clothing that filled the Containment Vault, a rusty personality core with a dark maroon iris shook his head in disbelief as he swung along his management rail. "Rachel, we're the ONLY BLOODY ONES HERE! What the fraggin' hell is the point of asking for 'all personnel'?! Just letting all the spare coats and rags know what's going on?!"

"I'm... just being thorough!" Rachel, the Fashion Core, defended herself as the duo traveled through the Vault. She wore a bright pink bow on her sparkling clean chassis, and a bright pink iris to go a long with it, which at the moment was glaring at her companion. "Are you here to help or to just be annoying?"

Pendleton, the Miscellaneous Core, laughed to himself. "Oh, the second one, definitely the second one." Pendleton was designed with absolutely no ancillary purpose in the facility whatsoever, and was simply included as spare memory for GLaDOS. And when you have an AI with absolutely no purpose or job whatsoever wandering around Aperture, he tended to get... really bored.

As the traveled the management rails, Rachel kept up a steady stream of inventory as she cataloged them all. "Scarfs, 1903. hats, 928 892 891 657, skirts, 892, shirts, 2819, tunics, 18-"

"You know, bird, I don't think you've really thought through the whole... you know, getting these out of here bit of the plan. It's... it's sort of the main part of this plan, if I'm going to be perfectly honest." Pendleton interrupted.

"What are you possibly blathering about?"

"... We don't have hands. What, are we going to... just going to kinda bump in to all your spare laundry until snow stops falling on it?"

"Laundry?!" Rachel swivled around, and slammed in to Pendleton at top speed. "This isn't just laundry! It is the sheer textile representation of thousands of years of human ingenuity! It is a living monument to all that can be done with fabrics and genius, and it is far more important that anything you've ever done!"

"... You haven't gotten laid in, like, forever, huh,"

"We don't even have genitals!"

"Well, then I'm technically correct!"

Rachel shot Pendleton that could melt steel as she continued on her track. "Feel free to leave. At, well, pretty much any time. Now would be good, for example."

"Oh, shush, you love me. Say, maybe after this whole snow thing is done, maybe you can I take a little whirl in one of those big piles of frilly knickers-"

A stray snowflake, avoiding the incalculably high stacks of clothing that surrounded them on all sides, lazily drifted through the air. Until it managed to land between the cracks of Pendleton's rusty and decrepit chassis, and with the heat of his processor, swiftly melt. The water introduced in to his system fried the entire AI, and sparks and smoke cascaded out of the iris and across Rachel's surprised face.

She worried about him.

For about ten seconds.

"Thank god, he finally shut up..."

. . . . . . .

Somewhere, deep inside the bowels of Aperture, the turrets giggled to each other in delight as they watched the snow billow outside their containment units.

It started with just one humming turret, swaying gently in his container, singing quietly to himself. But then it was two. Then three, then four, and soon enough, every single turret in the Enrichment Center was singing, melodic and crystalline songs that moved with the wind and snow cascading through the technological labyrinth.

"In the meadow, we can build a snowman..."

. . . . . . .

"I am not going to help you build that... thing," GLaDOS snarled.

"Pssh, what do you have against snowmen?" Chell smiled wildly, as she hefted the huge ball of snow she had been delicately crafting, and not so delicately slammed it on top of the rest of the snowman. GLaDOS could only shake her head in disbelief, and glanced up at the sky to see the wind billowing the snow every which way.

"What do you think!" Chell's happiness shook GLaDOS out of her reverie. "Does it look like a modern masterpiece?!"

"... It looks like a ball of snow. Put on two other, similarly shaped balls of snow. Brilliant."

"Wait, wait, you're missing the final touches!" Dipping her finger in to the freezing snowman, she carved out a cheesy grin for the snowman to be sporting, along with the eyes. "Voila! Feel free to bow down in reverence, by the way. For my snowman, or... well, pretty much for any reason, really."

The android could only scoff, and looked around the open ceiling test chamber that they had found for this "Snow Day", apparently, looking for some kind of chair to use while she watched her human have fun. "I don't suppose there's anything else one can use this... snow for?"

"What, not a fan of snow?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, trying not to shiver. "I really have no use for desperately pointless things. It has all the liquid content of water, with none of the chance of drowning somebody. You can't freeze somebody with it, can't kill them, and it is definitely terrible at testing."

Unlike you.

Chell flashed a pointy grin. "Hey, sweetie, don't be so down on snow! It has a lot of uses!"

"Like what?"

GLaDOS' android reflexes were definitely not prepared for the snowball whipped at her head at high speed. It hit, dead center of her head, and knocked the poor AI on her ass, gasping and sputtering in the snow.

"Well, for example..."

"D- did you just hit me?!"

"All's fair in love and war!"

GLaDOS flashed a grin, and despite being sprawled across the ground, managed to scoop up her own snowball and clipped Chell's shoulder at double the speeds of the first snowball.

"Oooh, nice shot, babe!" Chell stuck her tongue out. "But you kinda missed your mark!"

The sound of the snowball hitting Chell straight in the face made the perfect punctuation to that remark.

GLaDOS sprang to her feet, and dashed toward the dazed Chell with murder in her eyes. She tackled her poor human, and slammed her face in to the snowman she had spent all afternoon building. Which both destroyed the snowman, and got even more snow in her face.

"T- that was just unfair!" Chell struggled against her android, but her grip was far too strong. "Lemme go!"

"Hmm," GLaDOS pretended to think about it, slowly dragging her fingernail across Chell's neck. "Ask nicely, and maybe I'll consider it."

"What?! I- oh, you mean- please let me go!" sighed Chell in acquiescence. GLaDOS let go of her just long enough to her to regain her footing, before sweeping her leg and knocking Chell in a snow drift with a strangled yelp.

"Oh, I liked the sound of that," GLaDOS purred, as she kneeled down and began straddling her beloved test subject. "Now, try begging."

Very little work was accomplished that day.

[Author's Note: So, what did you think? If you can think of anything else that would happen during a snow day in Aperture, feel free to leave a review with a prompt or just message me, and I'll add in a chapter or two! I hope you had fun!]