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A/N:This is a improved edited version of my first Twilight fic,all mistakes should have been there's any other mistakes I overlooked,please bring them to my attention. R&R ! :D

I'm Never Sure

Jake

I'm never sure.

Bella waves at me as she gets into the bloodsucker's car. Its raining and she's dripping wet as she slides into the smooth, leather seat. As the car turns and drives away, she looks back and gives me a wide smile.I'll call you, she mouths. I give her a wave back and then phase.

Its too easy now. All I have to do is think about the parasite and I just change. I run back home ,I'm plagued by worrying. Will I ever see her again? If I do, will she still be alive? Dead? Vampire? Would the bastard actually change her? At this thought, I snarl. A low, guttural noise. Its inhuman and nothing like I've ever made before. Hell would sooner freeze than that happen. I would make sure of that. I would beat him into a bloody pulp.

Now there are voices in my head, Jake, Jake, Jake, stop thinking, don't do anything, the pack tells me. Its hard not to when all I want to do is run to the Cullen's mansion and rip the pretty boy's face .Difficult not to when my fingers are aching to plunge a knife into his undead body. Nearly unbearable when my mind is only thinking of the different ways to kill him. I can only imagine his face as I tear him into little pieces as.. I cut him out of Bella's life. Bella, Bella. I couldn't think of anything BUT her. I could stare into her eyes for eternity and not say a thing. I felt only pain and hurt and anger when I thought of her, because to think of her was to think of to think that she had chosen him over she was willing, IS willing, to give everything up for him. He wasn't worthy of her, neither was I but at the very least she'd be alive, if she were with me.

I ran harder now, not caring where I would the hell cared? Anywhere might as well be nowhere without Bella ,my heart raced faster than the speed I was going. "Jacob, Go back, go BACK" the pack 's voice rang loud and clear in my head. I growled inwardly .Go back, Sam's voice was was no0 one else from the pack I was sure of. I cussed at him and yelled at him," Why? Why? Why? Why the hell should I? Why?" Not when Bella's with him?

"Because there's still hope," he murmured and once again ordered me back. I changed course now, back home.

Is there hope? Is there? When the love of my life's with the worst parasite in the world?

I'm never sure.

Bella

I glanced back at Jake in the rear view mirror as Edward drives away. Its dark but I can still see Jake clearly .His lean, slender and impossibly big silhouette against the black. He's shaking all over and trembling, I'm surprised the ground isn't moving along with him. Its happened before. I must have seen it a dozen times already but as usual, I'm still shocked when he phases. By that blurry, blast of fur, clothes fluttering down to the ground, that instinctive urge to shout out. He snarls. I can't hear it, yet I can. Loud and as clear as though he stands right next to me. A flash of white teeth. Angry, brown eyes that burn into the back of the car. Tears threaten to pull free at the corner of my eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat. Burning hot. Like Jake's skin. He's glaring at the car, occasionally snapping his mouth. The air is laden with tension even with Edward and I, tucked safely in the car.

Finally, finally, Edward turns the corner and I can't see Jake anymore. At first, I feel relieved at not having to see my best friend be a monster but the feeling quickly gives way to guilt. What am I doing? I was hurting Jake more than I could ever heal simply by being near Edward. But I couldn't bring myself to even entertain the idea of leaving Edward. I knew what it felt like and under no circumstances, could I ever allow it to happen again.

I was selfish. I was so, so selfish. Its was as plain as day. What did both Edward and Jake see in me? I was a self-centered, selfish guilt tugged at my heart, eating all my certainty about myself. I couldn't hate Jake when I needed to and I couldn't love him the way he wanted me to.

This time, a tear truly did run its course down my cheek. Edward looked at me and pulls me towards him, one hand on the wheel. He rocks me gently against his rock-hard chest. As cold as ice. As different as Jake as he could be. I don't cry the way I want to now. The way I need to. Yet my eye remains dry and I can only make raspy, choking dry sobs.

The ride goes by quickly as well as silently except for my dry tears. As Edward pulls into the driveway and I make a move to open the car door, he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. A cold, soft one, of course. And as he does so, a thought flits into my mind.

What if I was wrong?

I'm never sure.

Edward

As I reach the end of the line, I cut the engine and lean back onto the leather seats. I roll the window down for some fresh air and immediately chastise myself for the hasty and thoughtless decision .The air positively reeked of dog(Of course, it would, it was their territory.) and it burned the insides of my ,I roll the window back up but the stench still lingered. I wrinkled my nose, trying to rid of the foul stink. Minutes passed and I got more and more agitated with every passing second. It was for nothing however, I knew that well. I was always early and nothing had ever happened. Yet. I was always gripped by that crushing fear Bella might get hurt. And tonight perhaps it would come true.

There. The moment Bella and the mutt stepped into the clearing, I knew. The windows though rolled up still gave way to a little of the smell through a small gap. That burning, nasty smell filled my dead lungs once again. I held my breath, unwilling to allow for any part of him to be a part of me, however small or replaceable. Petty yet I held. He was wrinkling his nose as well in distaste and it revealed to me that his sense of smell must be as good or better(not likely) than mine. Bella did not seem to notice rather she gave him a wide smile and slipped her hand into his. My lifeless heart seemed to simply tighten and ached at the sight. He leaned down to her and she spoke in his ear. At such a close proximity, it would have made my heart stutter if it could. His did. All the way here, I could hear it. I wondered if Bella could."Behave, Jake." her voice soft and gentle, I could hear through his mind. "Don't be rash tonight." She straightened and tugged on her blouse before pulling his hand. They moved briskly now toward the ,laughing out loud and giving each other easy smiles.

The minute they were close enough though, I could hear his previously murky thoughts. They unsettled me. Behind the easy, happy-to-be-here facade, anger and hatred filled his mind. Hurt and fresh, raw pain made also occupied. His pain was raw, fresh from the perceived betrayal by Bella. I was no Jasper but even I could clearly see how torn he was by Bella.

He gave a small gasp as Bella crossed the boundaries. So small, so soft, I myself nearly didn't catch it. He stared after her, lost and confused for a moment as she walked away, heading towards me. I could see it in his mind. The way she turned, her back facing him, how her hand felt in his hand for that last moment, small, slipping away. I heard his uneven, shallow breathing loud in the silence. Bella's footsteps on the grass. The simple gesture of Bella coming to me being seen through his side. Bella leaving him.

As Bella gets into the car, its headlights flickering to life, she squeezes my pale, almost luminous hand. She tries to find him in the pitch-black and as she does so ,I revs the engine up. As I drive away, she smiles widely before mouthing "I'll call you," to him. I look away, into the window where as always I can see my reflection clearly. The glow of my skin never makes it difficult to see myself in the dark with reflective objects. I'm caught by my own face. How different it looks like as compared to all those years ago. A life ago. Its not strange anymore, I've gotten little accustomed to it but it's still strange. I look to the figure beside me in the .Not so clear, more of a faint outline. Her face is still turned away and I remember her almost euphoric expression when she walked into the clearing with him.

And that's when I wonder again what if Bella was better off with him?

I'm never sure