Yay, it's now time for my very first fanfiction! Not that anyone really
gives a care, but still...anyways. Joy, now I have to write a disclaimer as
well? *grumbles*
THE ALMIGHTY DISCLAIMER: If I owned Golden Sun, pigs would fly, my brother would lose weight, and I would get a passing grade on my math papers. Sadly, these things never have, and never will happen, so I'll never own Golden Sun. The world is a better place because I don't own it anyway.
And now we shall start, as all great fanfictions do, with...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a beautiful autumn's morning in the sleepy little rebuilt town of New Vale. Birds were chirping, squirells were squirelling, Garets were Gareting...m'kay I'll stop. The only person who was awake in the town was Isaac, who was lying in his bed, trying to remember what importance the next day held.
"Dammit, I just can't seem to remember!" he mused aloud. "Is it Jenna's birthday? No, that's in summer, because the last time I forgot, she burned my pants off, and I had to go jump in the river..." He shuddered. "Oooo, not a good memory...okay. Mia's birthday? Mom's birthday? No and no...wait!" He sat bolt upright in bed. "I know what day it is!"
His mind strayed back to his adventures one year ago, to his friends who still were living in Vale, to coming home...on a beautiful autumn's morning!
"I have to go tell everyone!" he exclaimed. Isaac lept out of bed and ran throughout the town, shouting for all his friends to wake up. He dodged the many frying pans, bricks, kitchen sinks, and even the occasional pig thrown at him, as he woke the whole town up as well.
******
Five minutes later, five extremely sleepy, and two extremely sleepy and pissed off Adepts were gathered outside Isaac's house.
"Damn Isaac!" and angry Jenna said. "I need my damn beauty sleep!!"
"Not so loud," Mia said softly. She winced, holding her head. "Oh my, what a headache I seem to have."
"Ay! Don't yell at her!" Garet said loudly.
"Shut the hell up, Garet!" Ivan and Sheba said together. "Stupid idiot!" Ivan added. Garet's response was drowned out by a loud thunderclap. Our resident Wind Adepts looked at each other, stunned.
"Oh dear," Isaac sighed. "Looks like Garet is hungry again..come in, sit down, eatmeoutofhouseandhome....."
******
Over breakfast, Isaac tried to explain what was happening to his friends.
"Meh bleh meh, bleh bleh seh!" he said through a mouthful of pancakes, spitting his food all over everybody.
"Eww, Isaac!" Sheba exclaimed, wiping half chewed food out of her eye. "Ever hear of 'Say it, don't spray it'"? Ever helpful, Mia and Piers both summoned Douse clouds to wash everybody off.
"Damn!" Jenna yelled, knocking over her chair. "No more damn water, do you hear?! NO DAMN WATER!" She Fumed herself dry, when sat there laughing at the people who were still wet.
"I think someone had a little too much to drink last night," Ivan whispered to Sheba, who immediately started giggling, earning a death glare from Jenna.
"Back on track," Isaac said. "Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the day we came home, and--"
"So?" Garet said, busily trying to eat his own hand.
"So, I think we should have some kind of celebration," said Isaac.
"A dance party thing!" Felix said suddenly. Everybody stared at him.
"A dance? IwannagowithIsaac," Mia said quickly. She sweatdroppped as everyone turned to stare at her. "I said pudding! I looooove pudding!" she yelled out. Everyone then looked at her like she was nuts.
"Oh, I know!" Piers said. "The eight of us can get on stage and--"
"Oooo, I love stages!" Garet shouted, flapping his arms like a bird. " 'Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo--' " Ivan shut him up by smacking him.
"A girl says that, you moose!" he said.
"At least I have meat, midget," Garet retorted.
"As I was saying," said Piers, annoyed. "We can go onstage and say our favorite memories from our trip. What do you guys--and girls--say?" He put his hand in the middle of the table.
"For lack of a better idea, I say yes," Isaac said, putting his hand in the middle. He was quickly followed by Mia.
"I guess that's okay," Sheba stated.
"If Sheba's in, as am I," Ivan agreed.
"Oooo, I'm gonna be on stage!" Garet crowed.
"...." Felix said nothing, just put his hand in.
"Looks like I don't have a damn choice, do I?" Jenna grumbled.
"Okay, and I'll ask Kraden to be MC," Isaac said.
"AH, the horror," said Ivan. "Too...much...TALKING!! AHH!!!!"
They left to go set up ask tell people to come. By nightfall, the town meeting hall had been set up to accomodate the entire town, plus a few people, including Hama, Feizhi, the Madra mayor, Briggs, and Akafubu. The town could hardly wait for the next night.
******
Night came quickly the next day, as Isaac was Teleporting around the entire town making sure everything and everyone was ready....15 times. People began to file into the brightly lit hall.
"Eeee! Hurry, Sheba, tell me," Kraden panically whispered. "Do these pants make my butt look fat?" Sheba rolled her eyes and went back to talking with Ivan.
Eventually, the last few stragglers had come in, and the show had begun with Kraden being booted up on stage.
"Good gracious, poor little old me!" he said in a female voice. "Now, back in my day, young whippersnappers like yourselves would NEVER have--" He was cut off by a large boot flying through the air and smacking him across the face.
"Stick to the damn script, Kraden!" shouted (guess who!)
"My boot! My...precious...boot...." Felix moaned.
"Oh, fine!" Kraden said, still talking like a girl. "Today we are here to honor the fine Adepts who have saved out world from yadayadayada, and blahblahblah...who wants to read first?"
No one raised their hand.
"Fine then!" Kraden yelled. He stuck his hand in a box filled with little paper scraps. He read what was on the one he pulled out. " 'Felix- the loser who left with the other losers.' " Everyone looked at Garet, who was twirling a pencil.
"What?" he asked innocently.
"Never mind. Felix, come on!" said Kraden.
Felix slowly walked up to the stage, because he had only one boot. "Uhhh...hi."
People started screaming.
"Um, this is my memory...I guess," he said, slowly and clearly. "Well, it was after we met up with Isaac's team in Contigo. We decided to go to a bar to celebrate our joining. Ivan and Sheba snuck in behind us, as they were then underage--"
"Boo!" Sheba and Ivan yelled. "Off the stage!" Piers shoved gags in their mouths and gave Felix the thumbs up.
"Well," Felix continued. "They got drunk out of their minds. Sheba ran out and came back in with a leather dominatrix outfit on, from who- knows-where." People were starting to laugh. "When Ivan saw her, he stood up on the table and yelled out, 'Hey baby, how do you like this?' He then started to stripdance for her. She went over, and the next thing we knew, he was running through the town naked with Sheba riding him piggyback--"
This time he was cut off by a roar of laughter and he was rudely shoved off the stage by Kraden. Ivan and Sheba were as red as tomatoes, which made the people laugh even more.
"Yes, very good!" Kraden said, fanning himself with a little paper fan. "Now, if anyone wants to do that with me--"
"EWWWW!!!" the people yelled. There are just some things that people don't want ro know about.
"Kidding!" Kraden said hastily. "The next person is...'Garet- the bestest, most handsome, coolest, funnest person in all of Weyard.' No comment..."
"Yay, now I'm a this-, a thesa-, a lesbian!" he crowed happily, while running up on stage and tripping over his feet.
"A thesbian, brainiac!" Ivan yelled, still red.
"Sorry Ivan, but I'm not like you. I'm not gonna strip--"
"Shut up, halfwit!" Ivan screamed, frying Garet with a well-aimed, signature Spark Plasma.
"Hmmm...I smell roasting pig..." Garet said thoughtfully. Mia ran up and healed him, then scooted her chair closer to Isaac.
"Okay, this is mine," said Garet, still smoking slightly. "After the Ivan/Sheba thing, Jenna told me to go up to her room and we had s--"
"Garet!" Jenna yelled, beginning to turn red. "The damn people don't need to know that!"
"What?" he confusedly asked. "I was gonna say that we had some soda and talked for a while." He gave Jenna his patented Garet-smirk and said loudly, "What were you thinking? Everyone looked at Jenna.
"Uh...uh.....dammit..." Jenna said, blushing brighter than the Jupiter Adepts did at the people's laughter. She tilted her chair back and put her feel on the table to show that she didn't care. She then started muttering under her breath. The only words people could hear were "Damn", "Garet", "burn", and "tonight".
"Ha, how amusing," Kraden said in a disgusted tone. "Now that we know that Jenna's a--"
At that particular time, Jenna's chair had decided to snap, throwing its owner to the ground. Her short miniskirt flew up and revealed...well, let's just say that Jenna had decided to go commando for no reason that night.
"Wow!" Garet yelled.
"It's a girl!" Isaac hooted, ignoring Mia, who promptly got very, very, angry.
"Cover yourself up, you damn slut!" she screamed. "Stop making my Isaac look at you!"
"Your Isaac!?" Jenna yelled back, getting to her feet. "Ha that's funny! Everyone in the whole damn town knows that last week he sl---" Mia cut her off by launching herself at her, screaming death threats all the way. They began to wrestle, throwing each other over tables and chairs and people...
"Oooo, round one!" Garet cheered.
"Let us get it on!" Piers said, smiling widely.
"Uhh...." Isaac got up on stage and scanned the crowd, who were all watching the fight intently. "Um...let's take a short intermission so we can get everyone under control..."
No one listened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's chapter one! I hope y'all liked this little thing. If I made you laugh at least once, my job here is complete. Please review, so I know if I should stop wasting my time. Also, any ideas for memories for the other six will be greatly appreciated. You will get credit for your ideas!
*a knocking sound is heard*
Geez, who could that be?
*knocking grows louder*
Well, I'd better go get the door. TTFN everybody!
~~Shadowsedge~~
THE ALMIGHTY DISCLAIMER: If I owned Golden Sun, pigs would fly, my brother would lose weight, and I would get a passing grade on my math papers. Sadly, these things never have, and never will happen, so I'll never own Golden Sun. The world is a better place because I don't own it anyway.
And now we shall start, as all great fanfictions do, with...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a beautiful autumn's morning in the sleepy little rebuilt town of New Vale. Birds were chirping, squirells were squirelling, Garets were Gareting...m'kay I'll stop. The only person who was awake in the town was Isaac, who was lying in his bed, trying to remember what importance the next day held.
"Dammit, I just can't seem to remember!" he mused aloud. "Is it Jenna's birthday? No, that's in summer, because the last time I forgot, she burned my pants off, and I had to go jump in the river..." He shuddered. "Oooo, not a good memory...okay. Mia's birthday? Mom's birthday? No and no...wait!" He sat bolt upright in bed. "I know what day it is!"
His mind strayed back to his adventures one year ago, to his friends who still were living in Vale, to coming home...on a beautiful autumn's morning!
"I have to go tell everyone!" he exclaimed. Isaac lept out of bed and ran throughout the town, shouting for all his friends to wake up. He dodged the many frying pans, bricks, kitchen sinks, and even the occasional pig thrown at him, as he woke the whole town up as well.
******
Five minutes later, five extremely sleepy, and two extremely sleepy and pissed off Adepts were gathered outside Isaac's house.
"Damn Isaac!" and angry Jenna said. "I need my damn beauty sleep!!"
"Not so loud," Mia said softly. She winced, holding her head. "Oh my, what a headache I seem to have."
"Ay! Don't yell at her!" Garet said loudly.
"Shut the hell up, Garet!" Ivan and Sheba said together. "Stupid idiot!" Ivan added. Garet's response was drowned out by a loud thunderclap. Our resident Wind Adepts looked at each other, stunned.
"Oh dear," Isaac sighed. "Looks like Garet is hungry again..come in, sit down, eatmeoutofhouseandhome....."
******
Over breakfast, Isaac tried to explain what was happening to his friends.
"Meh bleh meh, bleh bleh seh!" he said through a mouthful of pancakes, spitting his food all over everybody.
"Eww, Isaac!" Sheba exclaimed, wiping half chewed food out of her eye. "Ever hear of 'Say it, don't spray it'"? Ever helpful, Mia and Piers both summoned Douse clouds to wash everybody off.
"Damn!" Jenna yelled, knocking over her chair. "No more damn water, do you hear?! NO DAMN WATER!" She Fumed herself dry, when sat there laughing at the people who were still wet.
"I think someone had a little too much to drink last night," Ivan whispered to Sheba, who immediately started giggling, earning a death glare from Jenna.
"Back on track," Isaac said. "Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the day we came home, and--"
"So?" Garet said, busily trying to eat his own hand.
"So, I think we should have some kind of celebration," said Isaac.
"A dance party thing!" Felix said suddenly. Everybody stared at him.
"A dance? IwannagowithIsaac," Mia said quickly. She sweatdroppped as everyone turned to stare at her. "I said pudding! I looooove pudding!" she yelled out. Everyone then looked at her like she was nuts.
"Oh, I know!" Piers said. "The eight of us can get on stage and--"
"Oooo, I love stages!" Garet shouted, flapping his arms like a bird. " 'Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo--' " Ivan shut him up by smacking him.
"A girl says that, you moose!" he said.
"At least I have meat, midget," Garet retorted.
"As I was saying," said Piers, annoyed. "We can go onstage and say our favorite memories from our trip. What do you guys--and girls--say?" He put his hand in the middle of the table.
"For lack of a better idea, I say yes," Isaac said, putting his hand in the middle. He was quickly followed by Mia.
"I guess that's okay," Sheba stated.
"If Sheba's in, as am I," Ivan agreed.
"Oooo, I'm gonna be on stage!" Garet crowed.
"...." Felix said nothing, just put his hand in.
"Looks like I don't have a damn choice, do I?" Jenna grumbled.
"Okay, and I'll ask Kraden to be MC," Isaac said.
"AH, the horror," said Ivan. "Too...much...TALKING!! AHH!!!!"
They left to go set up ask tell people to come. By nightfall, the town meeting hall had been set up to accomodate the entire town, plus a few people, including Hama, Feizhi, the Madra mayor, Briggs, and Akafubu. The town could hardly wait for the next night.
******
Night came quickly the next day, as Isaac was Teleporting around the entire town making sure everything and everyone was ready....15 times. People began to file into the brightly lit hall.
"Eeee! Hurry, Sheba, tell me," Kraden panically whispered. "Do these pants make my butt look fat?" Sheba rolled her eyes and went back to talking with Ivan.
Eventually, the last few stragglers had come in, and the show had begun with Kraden being booted up on stage.
"Good gracious, poor little old me!" he said in a female voice. "Now, back in my day, young whippersnappers like yourselves would NEVER have--" He was cut off by a large boot flying through the air and smacking him across the face.
"Stick to the damn script, Kraden!" shouted (guess who!)
"My boot! My...precious...boot...." Felix moaned.
"Oh, fine!" Kraden said, still talking like a girl. "Today we are here to honor the fine Adepts who have saved out world from yadayadayada, and blahblahblah...who wants to read first?"
No one raised their hand.
"Fine then!" Kraden yelled. He stuck his hand in a box filled with little paper scraps. He read what was on the one he pulled out. " 'Felix- the loser who left with the other losers.' " Everyone looked at Garet, who was twirling a pencil.
"What?" he asked innocently.
"Never mind. Felix, come on!" said Kraden.
Felix slowly walked up to the stage, because he had only one boot. "Uhhh...hi."
People started screaming.
"Um, this is my memory...I guess," he said, slowly and clearly. "Well, it was after we met up with Isaac's team in Contigo. We decided to go to a bar to celebrate our joining. Ivan and Sheba snuck in behind us, as they were then underage--"
"Boo!" Sheba and Ivan yelled. "Off the stage!" Piers shoved gags in their mouths and gave Felix the thumbs up.
"Well," Felix continued. "They got drunk out of their minds. Sheba ran out and came back in with a leather dominatrix outfit on, from who- knows-where." People were starting to laugh. "When Ivan saw her, he stood up on the table and yelled out, 'Hey baby, how do you like this?' He then started to stripdance for her. She went over, and the next thing we knew, he was running through the town naked with Sheba riding him piggyback--"
This time he was cut off by a roar of laughter and he was rudely shoved off the stage by Kraden. Ivan and Sheba were as red as tomatoes, which made the people laugh even more.
"Yes, very good!" Kraden said, fanning himself with a little paper fan. "Now, if anyone wants to do that with me--"
"EWWWW!!!" the people yelled. There are just some things that people don't want ro know about.
"Kidding!" Kraden said hastily. "The next person is...'Garet- the bestest, most handsome, coolest, funnest person in all of Weyard.' No comment..."
"Yay, now I'm a this-, a thesa-, a lesbian!" he crowed happily, while running up on stage and tripping over his feet.
"A thesbian, brainiac!" Ivan yelled, still red.
"Sorry Ivan, but I'm not like you. I'm not gonna strip--"
"Shut up, halfwit!" Ivan screamed, frying Garet with a well-aimed, signature Spark Plasma.
"Hmmm...I smell roasting pig..." Garet said thoughtfully. Mia ran up and healed him, then scooted her chair closer to Isaac.
"Okay, this is mine," said Garet, still smoking slightly. "After the Ivan/Sheba thing, Jenna told me to go up to her room and we had s--"
"Garet!" Jenna yelled, beginning to turn red. "The damn people don't need to know that!"
"What?" he confusedly asked. "I was gonna say that we had some soda and talked for a while." He gave Jenna his patented Garet-smirk and said loudly, "What were you thinking? Everyone looked at Jenna.
"Uh...uh.....dammit..." Jenna said, blushing brighter than the Jupiter Adepts did at the people's laughter. She tilted her chair back and put her feel on the table to show that she didn't care. She then started muttering under her breath. The only words people could hear were "Damn", "Garet", "burn", and "tonight".
"Ha, how amusing," Kraden said in a disgusted tone. "Now that we know that Jenna's a--"
At that particular time, Jenna's chair had decided to snap, throwing its owner to the ground. Her short miniskirt flew up and revealed...well, let's just say that Jenna had decided to go commando for no reason that night.
"Wow!" Garet yelled.
"It's a girl!" Isaac hooted, ignoring Mia, who promptly got very, very, angry.
"Cover yourself up, you damn slut!" she screamed. "Stop making my Isaac look at you!"
"Your Isaac!?" Jenna yelled back, getting to her feet. "Ha that's funny! Everyone in the whole damn town knows that last week he sl---" Mia cut her off by launching herself at her, screaming death threats all the way. They began to wrestle, throwing each other over tables and chairs and people...
"Oooo, round one!" Garet cheered.
"Let us get it on!" Piers said, smiling widely.
"Uhh...." Isaac got up on stage and scanned the crowd, who were all watching the fight intently. "Um...let's take a short intermission so we can get everyone under control..."
No one listened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's chapter one! I hope y'all liked this little thing. If I made you laugh at least once, my job here is complete. Please review, so I know if I should stop wasting my time. Also, any ideas for memories for the other six will be greatly appreciated. You will get credit for your ideas!
*a knocking sound is heard*
Geez, who could that be?
*knocking grows louder*
Well, I'd better go get the door. TTFN everybody!
~~Shadowsedge~~