"Leaving alone for four weeks have given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness."
"Granger, I know Muggle-borns like you didn't have the same upbringing than us, but we would expect you to – I don't know, wear something else than knickers and Potter's tee."
Said Granger snorted, holding the whiskey bottle by the neck. She grinned at the three Slytherins standing in the doorframe of her apartment. She should have thought about that – but the liquor in her stomach was warm, warmer than anything. The firewhiskey that she had drank copiously since noon was burning in her throat and in her gut.
She smirked at the three man and Nott coughed. The blush on his cheeks didn't escape Zabini, nor Malfoy.
It was funny, she recalled sending owls – but did she really send the messages to them?
"I mean, it's not that I don't appreciate the show but-"
"You still managed to create a portkey for us."
"Very illegal portkey," Nott added, looking at the piece of cloth. "Oh! You took off your shoes, made the portkey and-"
Malfoy snickered. "You were the top of our class, Nott, one would have expected you to catch up more quickly."
Hermione decided that all three men aged handsomely. Malfoy was still sharp and pointy, but it reminded her of red wine. Zabini was more conning than what she remembered – but at the same time, she mostly only saw his ass in the hallways of Hogwarts. Nott – well. Nott was deliciously looking.
"We thought you would be stuck in Siberia, in Dolohov's clutches or something"
Hermione tried to keep it in, but she erupted in laughter, so much that she staggered to her couch and sat on a pillow. "Oh-" she took a mouthful of her alcohol. "You saw that too? I started drinking when I saw his little pretty picture in the Prophet and I thought – well, my life couldn't suck any more!"
Ron left four weeks ago, Harry Potter took his side because that's what he always did before thinking – and the family Weasley didn't see it fit to keep their ties intact with her. All in all, it sucked. And Dolohov was back in the streets, after exemplary behaviour in the past five years – and well, he did give the names of fifty Death Eaters-!
She gagged.
"Don't turn green on us-"
The woman snorted. "Oh, I was thinking about Ronald's white onesies. They were kind of ridiculous. Don't stand there! Come! I have so much alcohol!"
"Keep your knickers on, Granger-"
She grinned at them. "Leaving alone for four weeks have given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness"
She turned on herself, grinning. Malfoy snatched the bottle of alcohol before it broke on the floor of Granger's tiny apartment.
"Let's rescue the lady, alright gentlemen?"
And it was with that sentence that three Slytherins went drinking with a pantsless Granger.
Drunken shenanigans happened, including rolling off toilet papers in the giant Christmas tree in front of Hogwarts, and hanging tampons – Granger's idea – over Potter's door, when Granger talked about how repulsed the Golden Boy had been while on the run.
They promised to repeat that evening in a week.
Hermione would be wearing pants this time around.