Cartman stomped into the classroom angrily before throwing his bag on his desk in a huff. He had just gotten back from auditioning for America's Next Top Model and from the looks of it, it did not seem like it had went very well.
"What's wrong, Fat ass, were you too fat to fit through the audition doors?" Kyle asked letting out a chuckle.
"No you stupid Jew! They told me that I was fiercely real which they were happy about, but then they said that they didn't like my personality." Cartman snapped.
"Maybe you should try being less of a douche." Stan suggested, looking up from the love letter he was writing Wendy.
"I wasn't being a douche you stupid hippie, they just couldn't handle my awesomeness." Cartman retorted. Stan and Kyle looked at each other and rolled their eyes; they knew that Cartman's statement was the furthest from the truth.
Cartman glared at the pair as he watched them roll their eyes at each other, he would have liked to see how far they would have gotten if they had auditioned. He knew that Kyle wouldn't even have made it through the front door, you had to be at least 5'7 to audition and Kyle was only a measly 4'10. He supposed that Stan would have made it at least to the finals, he was a good height at 6'1 and he had a good build. However, Cartman knew that Stan would chicken out of doing a nude shot. Kenny had gone to auditions with Cartman and he MADE it which made Cartman more furious than anything, he couldn't believe his poor friend had won something over him, it reminded him of the time that Kenny got a PSP before he did.
"I can't believe Kenny made it over me." Cartman grumbled.
"We'll know who to vote for then." Stan and Kyle said in unison. He couldn't believe those guys, they weren't even trying to comfort him; instead they were going to root for one of the guys who had ripped his dream out from under him.
"I'm glad Kenny made it, now he's not going to graduate with the rest of us, well, it's not like he was going to graduate anyway." Cartman huffed. Before the other two boys could respond, Mr Garrison came into the classroom. For some reason, the school board kept moving him up to whatever grade Cartman and his gang were in. Mr Garrison was furious about this, he had tried countless times for the school board to put him in a different grade but they refused and gave him a pay raise. After he started making three times as much as the other teachers, Mr Garrison decided he didn't mind being Cartman's teacher that much.
"Okay you little bastards, open your Science books up to page 183." He demanded.
The whole class let out one unanimous groan before taking their Science books out from under their desks.
"Today we will be learning about-." Before Mr Garrison could reply, a big huge crash sounded through the classroom causing everyone to jump up and look around with a panic. It turned out that Butters had sat down on his desk and it broke. At 6'2 and 452 pounds, Butters wasn't to be taken lightly.
"Not again Butters." Mr Garrison groaned, by the way the other students had reacted, any outsiders would have never guessed that this happens about twice a week.
"Oh hamburgers!" Butters cried out before running out of the classroom to get a new desk.
"Stupid fag." Cartman chuckled from his desk; he liked Butters a little bit because of Butters, Cartman was no longer the fattest boy in the school.
"As I was saying, open your books to page 162…" Mr Garrison started, he was soon interrupted by Wendy who said,
"You said to open our books to page 183, Mr Garrison."
"Well whatever, today we're going to be learning about particles."
The class went on without any more incidents and then it was time to go to lunch.
"I'll take four apple pies please." Cartman said giving the lunch lately a sickingly sweet, and obviously fake, smile.
"You can only have one, you know the rules." The lunch lady replied, not falling for Cartman's ploy.
"But um, I have a medical condition, if I don't eat every hour I pass out." Cartman said in his sweetest voice.
"Yea, a medical condition of the brain." Kyle snorted from behind them, Cartman thought about saying something back to him but he didn't want to ruin his sweet innocent boy act in front of the lunch lady.
"I'll believe that when I see a doctor's note." The lunch lady then said slapping a spoonful of macaroni on Cartman's plate before sending him on his way.
"Can you believe her? Man, is she on her period or something?" Cartman grumbled after he had taken his seat at his table. His bad mood was deepened when he saw Craig get two slices of pie instead of just one.
"You know, I should totally sue the school, like that one girl who only got fourteen French fries instead of the fifteen that everyone else got."
"That's stupid." Stan muttered.
"Well you're stupid you stupid hippie!" Cartman yelled before grabbing his now empty trey and throwing it in the trash.
As he was walking to the playground, he thought about how he got rejected on America's Next Top model for his bad attitude, an idea then began to form in his head, he would make his own next top model.