I'm always dumbfounded when people tell me they hate flying, to me flying has always felt like the build up to a new experience, it's exciting. I'm standing in the airport check-in line jittering at the prospect of a new adventure. To call it an adventure is probably a bit much, I'm just visiting my friend Polly in Italy. She's in Milan on a student exchange programme, we have a pre-planned tour we are going on during the summer vacation.
"Next please!" The lady at the baggage counter snaps me out of my daydream. I walk up to the counter, place my bag on the conveyer belt, and hand her my ticket and passport. She goes through the motions of checking me in and tagging my luggage. I'm handed a boarding pass and directed to the security clearance.
I put my handbag through the scanner and walk through the metal detector. I know I have nothing to hide, but I always feel an irrational sense of fear at this stage of the airport process. My anxiety doubles when the security guard stops me and asks me to hand my bag over, he pulls out a small foil balloon emblazoned with the words "Bon Voyage", there's a small vibrator tied to the other end of the ribbon. He glares at the offending item, glares at me and then stuffs it back into my bag. I have gone from being nervous to being mortified, my roommate Nicky must have shoved it in my bag in the way to the airport. I am going to kill her.
The rest of the wait at the airport goes off without further incident, I meander around the duty free until I have to board and then sit and read my book near the gate I am boarding at. The boarding call eventually happens and the invariable mad rush to the gate. I decide to read a bit longer until the line to board gets shorter. As I finish the chapter I'm on, I notice that the line is getting shorter. I hand in my pass as I go through the gates and I get handed the stub from my boarding pass. After a walk down a passageway I arrive at the plane door, the airhostess at the entrance of the plane glances at my ticket and points me in the direction of my seat.
"Seat 24B, walk down the right aisle and your seat is in the middle of the aisle and window seat."
Fuck, I'm sitting between two strangers for 8 or more hours. I hope the person seated at the window isn't a serial pisser. When I get to row 24 and see the woman seated at the window my worries vanish, she's one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She smirks at me and I realise that I have staring at her for several seconds. I manage to get out an awkward, barely audible "hi". She chuckles to herself, greets me back and turns her attention back to her book. Her voice is husky and the sound of her greeting makes me go weak in the knees. I don't care how often she gets up in the next 8 hours, my worries are now whether or not I will be able to stop myself from blatantly staring at her for the entire flight.
I haphazardly throw my bag into the overhead compartment, and sit down before I can further embarrass myself. The aisle seat passenger eventually joins us, he's a nerdy-looking guy with curly brown hair. In fact, he's almost the spitting image of the kid from the American Pie movies. He gives the woman by the window and I a huge grin and extends his hand to either of us as he sits down.
"Hi, my name is Larry. What are yours?"
I reluctantly shake his hand and reply; "Hi, I'm Piper." The woman next to me glances up from her book, she looks at his hand, but doesn't take it and just responds "Alex" and goes back to reading.
"So, do you two know each other?" Larry asks as the plane starts to taxi towards the runway.
Great, I'm seated next to someone I can't look at and someone who can't shut up. I am suddenly beginning to understand why some people don't like flying.