Spacecraft from Planet Yewfoe in a neighboring galaxy, habitually sight see in Earth's atmosphere. Adventurous, intrepid travelers, the Yewfoe embarked in intergalactic exploration almost a millennium past. Please note: be it intergalactic travel, industry and commerce, government or military, Planet Yewfoe's dominant gender is the female. Women also nurture the children, preserve the culture, protect the planet's environment and safeguard alien species on colonized planets and moons.
Considered inferior and brash, men withdraw politely from intellectual discussion, unless expressly invited to offer comment. Thought incapable of rearing children, this might otherwise be an appropriate male occupation, releasing women to fulfill their ambition and destiny. Although some Yewfoe matriarchy argue this would in fact forfeit a woman's "essence" to man.
You shudder and ask, 'Was this always the male plight?' No! The Yewfoe male once enjoyed privileged society until the techno-reforms; society's revolt against elitist male technocrats.
Leisure time addiction (LTA) crept unnoticed over several centuries from 2 to 4%, then accelerated to 40% in the following hundred years. Politically incorrect terms such as "Chronic Parasites", "Bludgers" or "Blood-suckers" are swiftly condemned by lobbyist. You may ask, 'Lobbyist for whom?' Technocrats of course; these are not Yewfoe parasites or gypsy's, but highly regarded consumers.
Labor saving robots, AI, food printers, embraced to excess by all Yewfoe. Male and female alike succumb to sophisticated marketing, "No more cooking", fabricated packaged meals, so easy, so fast. "The Latest" is the best and most fashionable. "The Latest" never lingers very long. Newer technology follows at a furious pace; obsoletism trashing the planet.
Who pays for this? Certainly not the technocrats; mission statements exclude subsidy for LTA new technology purchases. Mission statements fail to disclose an unwritten policy of "Public Purse" avoidance. The media glamorize rapid stock rises and ridiculous personal wealth valuations. First comparisons, "Richer than such and such a moon!" Followed by "More wealthy than such and such a planet!" In a matter of time a technocrat's wealth exceeds that of a small galaxy. A compliant media never investigate "Who pays for all this?"
An ever shrinking Yewfoe middle-class, burdened with funding the "Public Purse" eventually ask, "Who controls the media, who controls our lives?" Oblivious to society's growing revulsion, the technocrats ignore legitimate demands for consultation. Phony marketing of altruistic aspirations unveiled; inevitable revolution and far-reaching reform.
A vast male contingent, arm in arm with sisters, rising against the techno-foe, become revolution's regrettable casualty. The Council of Matriarch's [AKA Sentinel Sisters] resist compassion and decree the following. "Male Yewfoe fundamentally find purpose in life devising, inventing and marketing new technology. To protect the planet against all future male inspired gratuitous technology, absolute restraint of the entire male population at this point becomes necessary." The "Anti-Gratuitous Technology Act" passes into law; males voluntarily surrender liberty to assure the planet's future.
Yewfoe males colonize the many mining and agricultural outposts scattered across the universe. Therapists advise despondent colonists to seek comfort in homosexual relationships. Some males take a crack at homosexuality. Immersed in a new role providing pleasure and discovering it far more rewarding, bitches self-mutilate genitals. For the most part younger males compensate the absence of women and participate in vigorous sport. The injury shy and older males partake in hobbies and or philosophical debate. However invention and anything technical remain unlawful and strictly policed. Colony spies quickly inform Sentinel Sisters of violations under the "Anti-Male Technology Act".
Planet Yewfoe's meager male population consists of select male breeder stock, non-commissioned military, and a compliant scientific community. New technology produced by females or produced under strict female supervision is lawful under the "Anti-Male Technology Act".
Picture a meter tall ten-pin, upright and rounded at the bottom; not flat. A human size pear-shaped head atop, pear apex points down pushed into the ten-pin neck.
Yewfoe skin pigmentation varies, carotene being most common, a lime complexion always nice, but a rare pigment free pale complexion, utmost enviable. Common brown eyes abound especially so with common carotene complexion; blue or green eyes cherished as a rule. Treasured black-eyes signify Yewfoe beauty. Slender eyes sweep back from a typical sharp nose to almost the ears, perfect for wide vision; their forward focus inferior to a human's.
The Yewfoe converse in short slightly high-pitched sentences, not dissimilar to human speech. The Yewfoe enjoy one language, and articulate reliably, if not dutifully. Dainty fold back ears link directly to a Yewfoe intrinsicator, boosting this otherwise weak auditory sensor.
Inserted at birth, a miniaturized sound sensitive power source, the intrinsicator connects to the Yewfoe inner-ear. Noise activation enhances auditory response.
Improved and powered-up the intrinsicator endows the Yewfoe with increased agility and mobility including flight. A revolutionary physical upgrade; be it a technocrat brainchild. Flight enjoyed by all, including males. No longer grounded; Yewfoe cultures greatest leap forward, courtesy of female improvisation. History revised courtesy of "Sentinel Sisters". Some studies suggest intellectual stagnation, even regression since intrinsicator uptake. Such studies reside unpublished.
Medical trials connecting the intrinsicator to a Yewfoe brain proved fatal. Although conducted on volunteer male prisoners, fatal outcomes perhaps construed as capital punishment are abruptly terminated. Murder in any form, strictly taboo, Yewfoe punishment for serious or persistent criminals is prolonged isolation. Horrendous crime incurs banishment.
First offenders for minor crimes are subjected to loud sharp pitched noise that stimulates the intrinsicator, causing sharp excruciating pain. Swift punishment more often than not preferred to isolation. Extremely auto phobic the Yewfoe fear solitude worse than death; voluntary hermits are virtually unheard of.
From tiny Yewfoe mouths, set below expansive cheeks, a long slender purple tongue extends bottom lip by a centimeter or two. Holding "ones tongue", inside an adult Yewfoe mouth requires immense exertion. Ageing tongues extend further, and ageing degrades the color to motley purple. Tongue tip amputation for more vain senior citizens, a monumental dilemma. Older Yewfoe love to reminisce, no tongue tip, no audience to listen and politely applaud. And should an older Yewfoe score a younger lover, an amputated tongue-tip; most regrettable. The Yewfoe refer to foreplay as tongue-play. Long tongues searching, exploring, stretching sometimes deep, too deep into a lover's throat. Such tongue-play not advisable, but once amorous and aroused the Yewfoe tongue becomes beyond control and potentially lethal. Not that death by internal strangulation during tongue-play or intercourse raises any Yewfoe eyebrows; they have none. Bald smooth heads, no body or pubic hair, not a wisp of hair, not anywhere. "Let's get smooth!" means naked.
Inside the Yewfoe mouth are found strong sharp bright white denture perfection, seldom seen. The Yewfoe smile reluctantly. Artificial teeth cause no embarrassment, all Yewfoe teeth are artificial. It's the tongue. Smiling reveals too much tongue. Although the younger Yewfoe often smile teasingly, revealing an otherwise concealed puce tongue. Teased elders caution with, "Enjoy your youth while you can." "In the blink of an eye you'll be just like us." And it's true. Although the Yewfoe live an average 170 years, youth is but a brief mere first 30 years. Following youth, enduring longevity takes hold with an ever extending tell-tale tongue divulging true age. Younger Yewfoe avoid older lovers, yes age is repulsive! But more so, youthful elegant tongues cannot match it with a mature, muscley, rapacious oral appendage.
"Behind every rapid promotion are many tongues." especially so in the military and a higher incidence of death by misadventure. Cadet corpse naked, eyes wide open, bulging, a bruised inner neck, and the commanding officer found responsible more than twice; sideways they go.
A centurion finds it difficult to attract a lover half her age, even though sexually active for another perhaps fifty years. Rapid physical and mental decay mark the final dozen years.
Techno-food! Undoubtedly history's most damning testimony to a Patriarchal past. Flourishing obesity, artificial flavoring, excessive calories, sub-nutritious, vitamin deprived, hormone dependent, sweeter than sweet, effortless and chic, refashioned fatty fodder. Clogged capillaries, heaving hearts and lungs, overloaded organs, unbroken flatulence and sobbing, sleep deprived citizens cursed by and cursed with incessant snoring, a plague upon the planet. Daily sweet slaughter, the Yewfoe oral hygiene reduced to putrid, perishing enamel headstones.
Ever astute technocrats circumvent recrimination and a public inquiry into nutrition, responding with an overwhelming and irresistible marketing campaign. "Denture Adventure": eradicate the tooth gene. Implant artificial denture anchors in new born children. Replace milk teeth with artificial toddler's teeth and so on at each growth stage. The response? Immediate public acceptance!
Sufferings from soaring cost projections (as if unexpected), "Denture Adventure's" actual costs per capita exceed original projections by 800%. Omitted from the equation were fang dangle fashion conscious teenage Yewfoe, costing parents a flashy fortune. Oral hygiene restored, techno-food went on to survive and thrive another century. Scales of obesity unbending until the techno-reforms.
These days, raw foods are popular, along with cereals, lashings of vegetables, and meats in small portions. Today's Yewfoe is mindful that it's the intrinsicator performing most activity. Therefore roughage, essential vitamins and minerals, and a prudent calorie intake make for an enlightened healthy Yewfoe, enjoying longevity and Sentinel Sister's sober approval.
The Patriarchal past's excessive alcohol indulgence incited demand for strict temperance following the reforms. Although not outlawed, alcohol consumption is a frowning offence, a social slur even when moderately partaken. Obviously enough there's no slur involving medications containing alcohol. Bye the by, alcohol based medicines are in no greater demand than other medicine, it's just the empty containers rarely see the bin.
Back to Yewfoe physiology; a sharp, small, inefficient organ, the nose's proximity to the brain prohibits enhancement from the intrinsicator.
Where the long elongated neck begins to shoulder, two slender arms evolve. Digits are five on each hand but the more finger like thumb provides greater dexterity but a weaker grip. A rounded underside torso has evolved, not flat like a ten pin, because the Yewfoe never touch base. [Land]
Yewfoe legs, long obsolete, two slight stumps linger on as a limb legacy. The bygone dimensions more slender but otherwise similar to human legs. Pear headed ten-pins darting horizontally mid air somewhere, or else vertically milling in conversation, yes gossiping, best describe Yewfoe.
First devised as an auditory enhancement, intrinsicator upgrades helped advance space flight beyond the Yewfoe galaxy. Intrinsicators bring two prime benefits, space-craft's compaction and power to weight ratio. Firstly slashing provisions, the intrinsicator performs tasks previously resourced by crew member metabolism. Secondly, crewmember legs made redundant were amputated thus achieving substantial reduction in the space-craft's overall dimensions. The amputee space adventurer obviously retained his intrinsicator on returning home. All Yewfoe crave this new technology, desperately wanting to fly. The bureaucratic solution for such unanticipated demand stipulates that only those individuals prepared to sacrifice their legs, as did the space adventurers, are eligible for upgraded intrinsicator implantation. Overstretched surgeon arms aching, desperate for sleep, lop the planet's legs off in less than five years. Two hundred years on and Yewfoe legs are noticeably smaller at birth. Five hundred years on, legs vanish, reduced to lingering stumps. Leg amputation surgeons laid off; casualty to accelerated evolution.
No legs you ask? Does this suggest problems? We're not describing human evolution whereby matters of toilet and sex would be of great concern indeed if legs were to vanish. The Yewfoe matters of toilet and sexual organs are located in their armpits. Left armpit anus, right armpit vagina or penis: except of course for the left handed whereby the anus resides under the right arm and the sexual bits are found under the left.
How do they do it? With tremendous difficulty, minimal satisfaction, and more out of duty until the arrival of intrinsicator flight. Now! A sexual free-for-all, hovering ten-pins face opposite, tongues search into welcoming mouths. Right arm secures around partners neck, slowly at first they revolve mid-air. Velocity increases, tilting begins, in and out, penetration gradually increasing; no hurry just yet. Momentum gathers pace with increasing penetration until both ten-pins become parallel in upper tilt and torsos bump in lower tilt. Hence Yewfoe vernacular for copulation is gyration.
At the moment of climax, Yewfoe arms outstretch in uncontrolled elation, releasing their partner. Armpit unions broken at high speed, Yewfoe fly off, out of control in opposite directions. The Yewfoe climaxing arm-release can eventually be overcome through experience and momentous self-control, very practical in confined spaces such as a spaceship's Captain's cabin.
Young and inexperienced Yewfoe are encouraged to practice safe sex. Helmets and body protection are encouraged but seldom employed, "Getting smooth" and wild and out of control, much too intoxicating for a novice couple. "Blind Date Tethering" however became fashionable; copulating couples bound together at the shoulder so neither flies off, out of control. The tether swivels onto a rope anchored to the ground. A most practical device, almost eliminating death or serious bodily injury. Fornicating novices need only be wary of the occasional strangulation which can occur if one party finds them self gyrating upside down. Tutors encourage students to keep a level head when losing one's virginity. Inverted gyration and other kinky positions are strongly discouraged for novices.
Of course if both parties are left-handed the positions are reversed and left arms secure the partner's neck. If one partner's left-handed and the other right, Yewfoe couples face in the same direction with the left-handed partner's left arm around the right handed partner's neck, and the right handed partner's right arm around the left handed partner's neck. For this to be possible the left handed partner must be to the right of the right handed partner. And although straightforward enough most Yewfoe find it problematic facing in the same direction because no twirling and tilting effect will occur, unless of course, one partner can conquer reverse gyration. Reverse flight involves painstaking application, not easily achieved. On the whole, the Yewfoe despise reverse flight. However once successfully mastered an immediate popularity boost follows, especially so for the lucky left handed.
At less than eight percent of the population nearly all left handed Yewfoe somehow master reverse flight and enjoy huge demand from the right handed population desiring kinky sex [All].
This brief and simple explanation of Yewfoe sexual physiology describes heterosexual encounters. As previously mentioned virtually all males are banished to far flung colonies and very little heterosexual activity takes place. Actually, heterosexual activity only occurs when clucky females take a breeder. And for the past hundred years or so, Yewfoe women prefer artificial insemination as their breeding option. "Designer Baby" technology although available was outlawed because all mothers requested black eye, creamy white complexion, left handed, female off-spring.
The lone surviving DNA designer technology "Denture Adventure" lobbies to endure even though a reformed Yewfoe diet makes it redundant. Some of the richest Yewfoe, including several "Sentinel Sisters" have dental family roots.
Yewfoe dress now unisex, a techno-reform outcome; fashion statements, branding, male marketing ploys all wiped along with the paternal past. Legless overalls best describe a comfortable, practical, drab garment that underestimates two ample female breasts located mid chest. Actually female fashion demise commenced with shoes becoming obsolete.
Gestation takes eight months, newborn are small, two kilo's considered large and a three kilo baby extremely painful via an armpit birth canal. Most women opt for Caesarian birth if the embryo weighs more than two kilos. A small chest scar, soon cosmetically heals, much preferable to vaginal restoration and the screaming pain delivering a two kilo plus ten-pin in a natural armpit birth.
The intrinsicator remains dormant until suckling ceases, flying lessons begin at approximately the third birthday. Until this time, infants crawl on the ground aided by a bogey wheel attached under the torso; arms effortlessly ferry the inquisitive infant around and about. Robots conversing with other nursery robots, maintain a watchful gaze on the ground. Proud mothers hovering above, utter admiring remarks about their daughter's social interaction. Unfortunate sons cared for only by robots.
Flying infants remain mother's responsibility along with nursery robot helpers until progeny attain their wings. Maternal responsibility finishes when the infant enters into society's care at age five. Mother and daughter become distant in only a short time as each goes about their independent lives. Daughters develop into a academic focused students. Career, colleagues and social sanctity await mother's return, maternal duty well done.