Disclaimer: Well if I'm writing this, sadly means I'm telling you I don't own squat. Yes, mawa, owns nothing so if you sue I'll be sure to send my crappy computer that is well known for biting people in the ASS!!!! (grins)
Author Note: Now I bet some of yeah are wondering when I'll write an actual story, well never fear kiddies I am writing 2 at this time and when I can get them all fully done and feel like I want to show them you guys will see them and it won't be to long from now so enjoy these little reflection pieces, and god I hope you like this story :) enjoy shitlens.
P.S. THANK YOU JEWEL21 for being my beta reader and thanks for putting up with my dumbass American comments and my bullshit :) Jewel and Kich, this story is for you, enjoy the both of you.
My Mistake
You know when you're a child and you play that game, you know the game cops and robbers? You play with your close friends, fake guns and run about the yard while your friend is trying to kill you cause they're bad and yet you're the good one, the cop who is trying to survive and catch the bad guy. Well I lived that dream, that game. I became a cop, a NYPD matter of fact of the 55th Precinct. Sure I was a rookie and quiet uneasy with every single situation but I never thought, no I never imagined what I would do.
Today something happened. Something that makes me want to hold my head down low and never show it again. Today I shot another officer, a fellow cop.
I didn't mean to, honest to God I didn't mean to shoot him on purpose. It was a stupid mistake that I'll never be able to fix.
It happened so fast. I remember laying there hearing the hail of bullets flying over; heard the sound of metal on the car being torn and spliced by the fast moving ammunition.
Faith jumping up screaming something. I didn't really know what was going on to tell you the truth, I was holding my breath and hoping I lived through this. I didn't want to die, no not like this.
When Faith jumped up from the protection of the car I was in shock. How could she do that? How could she just throw her life out on the line coming out of cover? I came up to peek out to see what was going on and there was her real partner, Bosco. 'WHAT THE HELL' I thought, how can people be so freaking insane? I didn't understand it and you know I kind of envy their bravery.
With a shaky hand I reached for my gun that rested on my hip, protectively in it's casing waiting for me to use it. I could feel the heaviness in the gun and the coldness it sent up my arm from just the mere touch of the metal.
I closed my eyes. That is what I did, I couldn't believe it, I closed my eyes and shot. I didn't want to seem like such a weakling, I'm not a wimp! No, I'm strong but dammit I didn't want to hurt anybody, never kill. I saw it, and the flash of metal. With quick pressure of my finger and me closing my eyes my gun went off and then I ducked.
After I caught my breath and realized I possibly hit somebody I looked to see and then that is when I realized where I had shot. Ross wasn't there anymore. My mind raced, why wasn't he shooting anymore!!!! That is when I realized, I just shot another man and it was a cop. It was Ross. I had shot Ross.
I could feel my mouth hanging open staring at the spot where Ross had just stood. I immediately dropped back down when a bullet ripped by and tore my hat right off my head. I placed my gun back into its holster and sunk back down to the ground.
Everything was getting so loud. How was that possible! I wanted to go home. I didn't want to be there, no I didn't want to be in this hell. Oh my God what have I done? I placed my hands over my ears, just screaming inside. Or was that outside? I was so terrified I think I peed my pants. Oh my God, I did pee my pants. I just want it to stop, oh my God I want it all to stop.
Faith came over to me. She wasn't killed. She thought I was hit, she thought my pee was my blood but it wasn't....it was piss and I couldn't believe it but I'm still terrified even though it's over. The shooting was done yet how come I was still scared to get up? As my mind tries to calm down and try to register what had just transpired I realize I don't want to do this. I can't do this. My job is not being a cop, not risking my life for the sake of others.
I think, no I know when I get back to the station; I will quit because I just can't do this. I can't be a cop; I can't be like Bosco, running out in the middle of gunfire without fear. I can't be Yokas willing to kill another human being for the sake of my partner who is running into hell itself. I just can't and I won't do it.
When I was a kid, I never dreamed anything like this. I didn't want this to be, didn't want my life to turn out where I ran from everything. But I never dreamed....no I never dreamed in my wildest nightmares that I, Steven Gusler would shoot another officer.
The End
Author Note: Now I bet some of yeah are wondering when I'll write an actual story, well never fear kiddies I am writing 2 at this time and when I can get them all fully done and feel like I want to show them you guys will see them and it won't be to long from now so enjoy these little reflection pieces, and god I hope you like this story :) enjoy shitlens.
P.S. THANK YOU JEWEL21 for being my beta reader and thanks for putting up with my dumbass American comments and my bullshit :) Jewel and Kich, this story is for you, enjoy the both of you.
My Mistake
You know when you're a child and you play that game, you know the game cops and robbers? You play with your close friends, fake guns and run about the yard while your friend is trying to kill you cause they're bad and yet you're the good one, the cop who is trying to survive and catch the bad guy. Well I lived that dream, that game. I became a cop, a NYPD matter of fact of the 55th Precinct. Sure I was a rookie and quiet uneasy with every single situation but I never thought, no I never imagined what I would do.
Today something happened. Something that makes me want to hold my head down low and never show it again. Today I shot another officer, a fellow cop.
I didn't mean to, honest to God I didn't mean to shoot him on purpose. It was a stupid mistake that I'll never be able to fix.
It happened so fast. I remember laying there hearing the hail of bullets flying over; heard the sound of metal on the car being torn and spliced by the fast moving ammunition.
Faith jumping up screaming something. I didn't really know what was going on to tell you the truth, I was holding my breath and hoping I lived through this. I didn't want to die, no not like this.
When Faith jumped up from the protection of the car I was in shock. How could she do that? How could she just throw her life out on the line coming out of cover? I came up to peek out to see what was going on and there was her real partner, Bosco. 'WHAT THE HELL' I thought, how can people be so freaking insane? I didn't understand it and you know I kind of envy their bravery.
With a shaky hand I reached for my gun that rested on my hip, protectively in it's casing waiting for me to use it. I could feel the heaviness in the gun and the coldness it sent up my arm from just the mere touch of the metal.
I closed my eyes. That is what I did, I couldn't believe it, I closed my eyes and shot. I didn't want to seem like such a weakling, I'm not a wimp! No, I'm strong but dammit I didn't want to hurt anybody, never kill. I saw it, and the flash of metal. With quick pressure of my finger and me closing my eyes my gun went off and then I ducked.
After I caught my breath and realized I possibly hit somebody I looked to see and then that is when I realized where I had shot. Ross wasn't there anymore. My mind raced, why wasn't he shooting anymore!!!! That is when I realized, I just shot another man and it was a cop. It was Ross. I had shot Ross.
I could feel my mouth hanging open staring at the spot where Ross had just stood. I immediately dropped back down when a bullet ripped by and tore my hat right off my head. I placed my gun back into its holster and sunk back down to the ground.
Everything was getting so loud. How was that possible! I wanted to go home. I didn't want to be there, no I didn't want to be in this hell. Oh my God what have I done? I placed my hands over my ears, just screaming inside. Or was that outside? I was so terrified I think I peed my pants. Oh my God, I did pee my pants. I just want it to stop, oh my God I want it all to stop.
Faith came over to me. She wasn't killed. She thought I was hit, she thought my pee was my blood but it wasn't....it was piss and I couldn't believe it but I'm still terrified even though it's over. The shooting was done yet how come I was still scared to get up? As my mind tries to calm down and try to register what had just transpired I realize I don't want to do this. I can't do this. My job is not being a cop, not risking my life for the sake of others.
I think, no I know when I get back to the station; I will quit because I just can't do this. I can't be a cop; I can't be like Bosco, running out in the middle of gunfire without fear. I can't be Yokas willing to kill another human being for the sake of my partner who is running into hell itself. I just can't and I won't do it.
When I was a kid, I never dreamed anything like this. I didn't want this to be, didn't want my life to turn out where I ran from everything. But I never dreamed....no I never dreamed in my wildest nightmares that I, Steven Gusler would shoot another officer.
The End