A/N: Hello again, and welcome to the third installment of Alex and Bucky's story, Divided - building up to my own take on Civil War :D exciting!
Alex could hear her heart hammering in her chest as she breathed heavily, thankfully she had a momentary respite while Natasha was called away by Fury. Lying flat on the mat, Alex stared up at the ceiling - it'd been at least a month now and Natasha had insisted that she train for at least four hours every day - suffice to say, super soldier or not Alex was exhausted.
"Why is it whenever I leave you alone, I come back to find you on the floor?" She could practically hear the smirk in Natasha's voice.
"Because I find the ceiling very interesting."
Footsteps got closer and before long Alex could see her trainer's face looming over her, "Get up, Lockhart, we're not finished."
"Five more minutes," Alex groaned, throwing her arm over her face dramatically.
"There's no breaks when you're out in the field."
"I think that's something they should introduce."
"Come on," Natasha laughed, grabbing Alex's hands and trying to pull her up, as the trainee played dead, "Don't make me do something I'll regret."
In the short time she'd been working with Natasha, they'd become good friends - it wasn't like that from the start - naturally, the agent had been somewhat wary of the newcomer, but the more time they spent together, Alex felt that Natasha had warmed to her. In a way it seemed as though the agent was happy that there was another woman around to help counteract all the testosterone.
"Fine!" Alex huffed, getting to her feet.
"Oh, don't give me that face - you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to this," Natasha smirked.
Alex's brows shot up, "Excuse me - no one told me just how much training there would be. I'm basically a super soldier and even I'm completely spent. How do you do it?!"
Her eyes turned sad for a moment, "Train as long as I have, and there's no limit." It was the same thing that happened to Bucky every so often, as if the conversation had triggered some kind of memory of a time they wanted to forget. And as she had reacted to Bucky in the past, Alex didn't press the issue.
"Tell you what - drop and give me twenty and we'll call it a day."
"Ten?"
"Fifteen."
"Done."
Muscles sore and just about ready to drop, Alex finally made her way back to her room, in desperate need of a shower. Not long after agreeing to join the Avengers, she and Bucky had joined Steve at the tower in New York - captain's orders. She also had a feeling that the captain had a hand in sorting out their living arrangements, as out of the 93 floors in Stark's building, Alex and Bucky were sharing a floor that basically resembled a fairly roomy apartment.
And though the two of them were civil, friendly even, it was still a little awkward between them. Stepping into the elevator, Alex pressed the button for the 54th floor and sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall, eyes closed as tiredness hit her like a wall. As she came down from the endorphin high it felt as though the gentle hum of the elevator would lull Alex to sleep if it weren't for the mercifully short journey.
Hearing the ping of the elevator's arrival, her eyes, like the doors, opened to find Bucky stood on the other side. He seemed a little taken aback to see her, real hand reaching quickly to run his fingers through his hair, almost as though he was nervous. Alex suppressed the smile that came as she saw him subtly straighten himself up a little.
"Hey," he smiled that broad charming smile, "Just finished training?"
She nodded, "Thank god."
"Yeah, I heard that Fury told Romanov not to hold back with you."
"I think she might be trying to kill me."
They laughed, Alex pushing open the doors that had begun to close, her and Bucky awkwardly switching places so that she now stood outside the doors. "Going out?" she asked, seeing a jacket clutched in Bucky's metal hand.
"Getting dinner with Steve and Sam."
"Well, have fun," Alex gave him a small smile, stepping back from the elevator, her shower calling to her. But before she could get too far, she heard the lift doors open again. Turning back she saw Bucky poke his head out. "Forget something?"
"No - yeah. I mean, you don't want to, er, come with us, do you?"
"Honestly, I think I'm just gonna veg out in front of the TV tonight," Alex smiled, "Thank you, though." And though Bucky smiled in return, it didn't quite reach his eyes, the slight disappointment evident in his baby blues.
But, nevertheless he nodded, "I'll see you later, then."
"Yeah."
After a day of training, nothing felt better than a hot shower, releasing the tension from her aching muscles, and washing the day's grime and sweat away left Alex feeling refreshed. Changing into some pyjamas, she went down the hall to the kitchen in search of food. Forgetting, of course, that neither her or Bucky had actually gone for groceries since they actually arrived.
"I didn't know whether you'd had anything for dinner," Bucky's voice came from the doorway unexpectedly, making Alex jump and whirl around to face him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, it's okay, I just didn't expect you back so soon."
He shrugged, "Steve's out on a mission tomorrow." Walking further into the kitchen, Bucky put a bag on the counter, "Like I said, I didn't know if you'd had anything, so I brought back some food."
Alex softened, touched by his thoughtfulness, "You didn't have to do that."
"I know," Bucky shuffled his feet a little, "I wanted to."
"Well, thank you," she beamed, digging into the bag and taking out the little boxes of Chinese, grabbing a fork from the drawer. Looking up again, Alex saw Bucky heading for the door. "Do you want to join me? I'm gonna watch a movie."
Bucky turned back to her, "What movie?"
"Inception."
His brow furrowed, "What's it about?"
"These guys who into people's dreams to steal their secrets." Bucky looked at Alex like she was insane, "I know it sounds crazy, but it's pretty good."
"Okay…" Bucky still seemed a little wary, but nevertheless he shrugged off his jacket, heading to sit on the couch. "But it does sound crazy."
Alex sat down next to him, food on her lap, as the movie began to play, "Just give it a chance."
Halfway into the movie and Alex had long since finished her food, while Bucky was trying to piece together what was happening in the movie. He'd been so focused on the plot of the movie that he hadn't noticed that Alex had fallen to sleep, her head resting gently on his metal shoulder. Smirking a little, he wondered how she could find that comfortable, but he didn't move, selfishly wanting to enjoy the small amount of contact and wanting to see the end of the movie as well.
By the end, Alex still hadn't woken up, and Bucky was more confused than ever, as rain poured down outside so hard he could hear it hammering against the windows. So, turning off the television, (he hoped), he shifted a little, trying not to disturb Alex's slumber, then gently hooked one arm under her legs and the other around her shoulder, picking her up from the couch. She stirred a little, subconsciously nuzzling her head into his neck and Bucky smiled down at her, carrying her down the hall to her bedroom. He placed her down gently on the bed, covering her with a blanket.
He thought he could keep his feelings for Alex at bay, that it would be easier to be around her as a friend than not at all, but he couldn't escape the fact that every time he looked at her, his heart ached to be close as they were before. Not knowing if Alex felt the same, he didn't say anything, but it was always there when he saw her, when they spoke - hell, it was even there when she wasn't around.
Steve had noticed as much and never failed to bring it up when they were alone, even tonight when they'd walked to meet up with Sam at the restaurant.
"So…you talk to Alex yet?"
"About what?"
"About- what do you think? I've seen the way you look at her."
"I'm not doing this again. No, I haven't spoke to Alex about that."
"Have you spoke to her at all?"
"We speak! We spoke just before I came to meet you!"
"Okay! Okay. But she still loves you y'know."
"I know, she told me. But…there are different kinds of love, Steve. And we're not like we were."
"You never will be if neither of you talk about it."
He'd left dinner early with the intention of talking to Alex. Even bringing the food to make her more comfortable, but then he came back and he saw her. And any words he had just dried up in his mouth.
The problem wasn't not knowing what to say - he knew exactly what he wanted to say; but every time he saw Alex, it just seemed like too much of a risk. If it all went wrong he could lose her completely, so keeping her in his life as a friend seemed a better option than losing her altogether.
"I love you…" he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from her covering her slumbering features.