I had a plan.
I never had a good plan, but it was a plan. I was going to graduate with high honors, and go to college to become a Nurse. I wanted to help. I know that I could never actually deal with the sight of blood- one thing me and my sister actually had in common- that's why I wanted to become a certified Neonatal Nurse; a nurse that takes care of babies. I've grown up with babysitting jobs and I never loved anything more.
So, I had a plan. But plans never actually go through, especially not for us Swans'. Nothing ever seemed to go right for us. I couldn't help but think of how different my life would have been if I didn't move back to Forks, Washington. Though, I couldn't bring myself to regret any of the decisions that I've made. I never would have made more friends. I never would have become closer to my family. I never would have met Jacob- never would have fallen in love with Jacob. Though, I never would have experienced so much pain and loss. So much confusion and grief. So much anger. I probably would have been the same ignorant girl that had a plan.
So when I stand in front of my large family, all saying their goodbyes, I couldn't imagine my life without any of these people. I looked down as I felt a tug on my sweatshirt. I smiled softly at the source of the tug. "We'll be okay, right?" She muttered looking up at me for guidance. I couldn't image telling the truth to her. Maybe it was because I couldn't face the facts myself that everyone might not make it home tomorrow night. Someone that I loved in this room could die tomorrow.
It seemed that everyone else was interested in my answer as well, as the whole room started getting quiet and looked down at the light in the room. I tried biting the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from resurfacing, I'm done with crying. I needed to be strong for the both of us.
"We'll be okay."