Series: Shingeki no kiyojin/ attack on titan
Ships: Bertoldt x reiner
Warnings: SPOILERS, mild sexual content
so i couldnt get to sleep, and uhh i dont write much, and barely any fan fiction. But i couldnt stop thinking about these two ~ 3
its a one shot, so sorry i won't continue, hopefully you'll enjoy
...
It was happening again. It burned you, memories of moving the heavy artriery with your hand. They moved like tiny wooden toys, piling onto each other. Dust drifted into the culmulus clouds. The pale white wall was meters from you. People moved about like busy bees. You couldn't make your face change to a grimace at what you must do next. Pulling your foot back, it weighed tons, it was as if strings were trying to pull it back down to the ground. You swung, the air whistling. A deep grumble erupted, it was as easy as kicking down a thin sheet of wood. The screams erupted, from deep within your hot cavern, the shrill cry of pain reached you. The suffering, the loneliness, the death you caused. It was all your fault!
Sweating, tied up in your own bindings. Your eyes burst open in dismay. Heart pounding, it was a drum from inside your ribs. Realizing you may wake the others you try and breathe normally. You unwrap yourself from the cocoon that is your sheets. Cold sweat had broken out long ago. And the faint memories of the dream were replaying I your mind. They weren't just a dream though. It had happened, you had changed history, but far from the good kind of change. If they knew they'd murder you. That wouldn't even make up for the tragedy. They'd torture you. AAH yes, sweet torture, they'd spill your blood, they'd say, 'die Titan!' They would never let you see the sky. They'd make you cry. They'd scar you, like you scared all of them. They'd write your name in history as evildoers. All the people you thought we're friends would all disown you. They'd all cringe when your name was said, or worse they'd cry, get mad, wonder what ever made them like you.
You felt your face scrunch up in agony as the thoughts kept flowing. Your stomach knotted like a child playing with string, and getting them all tangled, making tighter knots. You realize you had been holding your breath, you let it out. Throat tight, eyes wet. You needed to be strong, here, alone in a bedroom with several others. The darkness kept prying. The thoughts flowed like red wine. 'Scum!' 'Disgusting!' 'Your not a hero!' 'You'll never be one of us!' 'You lied to us!' 'And to think I could have trusted you!' 'Why?!' 'I hope you die!' 'Monster!' Murder!' 'Murder!' 'Murder!' 'MURDER!'
You can't take it, the salty tears, spill, and a son is caught in your pillow. Your stomach is a black hole ducking all your insides inside, twisting them to the gravity before they disappear in a void. You shake, clutching the pillow to your face, with the strength of an animal. Your gasping for air through the pillow, the tears flowing like a river through a broken dam. You barely hear the voice whisper to you.
"Bertl? What happened?" The voice is the one of the back of your hand. You take a cautious deep breath, you don't want him to see your deconstructed tearful face.
"Bertl?" This time his voice is on your neck, the breath runs through your hair like that of a wind in an open meadow. His arm is around your shoulder, trying to pry. You bring your arms up and flip the pillow. Your face is in the mattress, Reiner sighs.
"Is it your anxiety?" Dear Reiner asks. That was part of it, but you nod into the mattress. You're still having trouble breathing after the sobs, but you're calmer. Suddenly his chest was pressed into your back.
You feel yourself flush, and mutter, "Could you please get off me?"
"Haha no." He whispers into your neck. Shoulders tensing you attempt to flip over, only getting half way, Reiner still on top of you. The pillow obscuring your view. The springs squeak, and the sheets russtle. A few others move in their sleep, someone mutters 'yes purple.' In their sleep. You remove your pillow from your face. You see Reiner's eyes twinkle down at you, his heavily built details can still hold a forum of delicate-ness. He's really close to you, slight embarrassment distracts you from your pain. He smiles down at you, his eye brows creeping up on his forehead. His legs are tangled with yours. You can feel a hand at your hips. He glides his palm along your stomach, under your shirt. You close your eyes, and there is his lips fitting into yours. Your face is hot, your tears drying on your cheeks.
Everything was pleasantly warm. You could feel Reiner's hands slipping under your waist band. His hands on your hips were strong, but not to much. Your lips were still being pushed together, tongues occasionally touching. Your mind is in a haze , thoughts float like lights in mist. Your hand reached around to Reiner's back. Your hand gathered up his shirt. It takes a lot of will power not to moan out loud. Reiner moves his lips down to your neck, hands gripping your hips. Nibbles send goosebumps all up your back, and raising your arm hair. Breaths come out of your mouth in quiet puffs. Now both your hands had found their way around Reiner's back.
"Do you wanna do it?" Reiner breathes into your neck. Your face feels very hot, heart pumping. Your eyes stung from the dried tears. You were very flustered.
"I-um, I was having bad dreams. A-and I don't think I can." Your voice is very unsteady, it's hard to keep quiet.
"It's all dawning o-on me what we d-did, and I-I can-" he kisses you, cutting you off. His hands slide up to around your neck.
"That's ok." He mumbles in between kisses.
You both continue to kiss till your laying on your sides, look at each others face. Your worries aren't as heavy as they felt a while ago. You smile at him, he reaches his arm around you shoulders.
"It'll be ok, no one has to know about us." He whispers. He pulls the covers up over both of you. He pulls you close into a sort of snuggle. You curl up next to him, it's warm and pleasant. Much like dear Reiner. Your not sure what you would do without him. You can feel his smile without even seeing him. You finally fall asleep pressed into him, under the blanket.
A small light creeps into the sky.