Author's note: Hope you enjoy this. I hope this isn't such a bad attempt at humour.
AoGA House Cup. (Words: 509.)
It is a quiet, warm afternoon in a suburban street. All is calm, until a sharp voice shatters the tranquillity of domestic peace. A young woman and a man are seen bickering in the lawn of a recently vacated house, the 'For Sale' sign thrown carelessly near the garbage bin, evidence of a recent purchase.
The woman, for all her good looks and innocent demeanour, stomps her foot on the lawn, and whines, "The house is going to be pink."
Her husband's reply is tinged with sarcasm. "No, it's going to be in a colour that won't threaten to blind me every time I look at it."
And so, the argument continues, back and forth.
"No, it's going to be pink."
"Christ, Mikan. Do you actually mean it when you say that?"
"Yes, dear husband. I do mean it. The house is going to be pink, and that's final."
"Goddamn, Mikan. And what if I want it to look less like a fucking ball of cotton candy?"
"Well, we could have it in bubble-gum pink or fuchsia then, I suppose."
"It's still going to be a bloody hideous shade of-"
"Well, who made you king of anything, Natsume? And, for goodness 'sake, Stop. Swearing."
"Well, you aren't the bleedin' Queen of Egypt either, now are you?"
Both end up staring each other down, having given up on words. Nostrils flaring, they both continue to maintain eye contact in a battle of wills. Their eyes bore into each other, serious and stern.
That is, of course, until the woman, Mikan, stifles a giggle, defusing the tension.
"You know, I can't take you seriously when you look like a constipated elephant, honey."
The man's scowl only darkens, and his disbelief is evident in his reply.
"We're talking about the colour of our fucking house here. Our. Fucking. House. Don't you think that it matters that the house actually looks good, and not decide on a colour just because you think a Barbie doll would look pretty in it? And Christ, how did I become an elephant? I don't even-"
He smacks his palm against his forehead. He then straightens, a look of resignation on his face.
"Alright, fine. How about we make a deal? I'll decide on the colour of the house, and you can decide on the furniture and decorations for the interior."
With a gleeful look on her face, Mikan hops up and hugs her husband, joy evident in her gesture of affection.
"Really? That'd be perfect! I can bring in all the neon pink heart-shaped chairs that I ordered off eBay the other day! Oh, and not to forget, the giant princess chairs for both you and me! Thank you for being such a dear, Natsume!"
She seals the deal with a kiss, and leaves an absolutely dumbfounded Natsume on the lawn while she prances into their new abode, determined on turning it into the cutesiest place on the planet.
Natsume, meanwhile, buries his face in his hands.
"Well, fuck. At least the exterior will look decent."
Fin.