A/N: Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't be starting a new story when I still have fairytales to write… Whatever. I don't own Claire Stanfield, anyone else I happen to mention, or Baccano!
In Which Claire Stanfield Is Thinking
"—everything I know about being a conductor!"
"Your ticket, please…"
"—fine passengers… Except for the kid."
"— nor am I a conductor."
A… Conductor. No. Claire Stanfield wasn't a railroad conductor anymore. Not… Anymore. As if… It were something so easy to give up.
In a way, it was. If only on… On the hope that Chane would…
But he had to find her first, of course.
In any case that wasn't the point. The point was… It was…
Being a conductor was important to him.
Claire would… He'd give up anything for Chane. But.
There were… It was an important part of his life, being a conductor. A relatively… Normal part. A haven in… In his fragmented life, even.
Because, more than anything… It was a job he'd gotten attached to. Something he could treasure. It was… Nice.
But that wasn't it. Per say. That wasn't all of it, everything about the matter.
He had more than one reason for becoming a conductor in the first place. In fact, he had five.
Five reasons that tied him so closely to the rails.
Five reasons… For Claire Stanfield to become the Rail Tracer.
Things so important… That it was something he would make of himself. That he could make himself into a monster, like that. And even though everything was fake, or all in his mind… It was still important, because… This was his world, and it was how he'd wished it. So surely things had been laid out for him in just this way.
But it was still too bad… That he couldn't follow up.
That is to say… Tony had been thinking that Claire would take over as head conductor for the Flying Pussyfoot.
Then again, Claire had thought that the old man was simply going to retire, not be killed by some psychopath even before the departure on Tony's last trip with the train. It was a cruel thing.
But Claire was a strong man.
And he still…
Could linger on his five reasons without… Without…
He wasn't going to cry, because that wasn't something he did.
So he smiled instead, and he carried on.
Because he still…
He still needed to find Chane, didn't he.
And there were so many memories in New York City. So he would linger a while. And that was fine.