Disclaimer: I do not own RB, as much as I wish I did.
Rated K, unless someone tells me it should be otherwise ;).
A/N: I enjoyed this episode for the most part. Lots of Andy/Sam scenes; some cute, some intense, but all very amazing IMO. The Andy/Luke ending had be a little frustrated, but I've got too many Sam/Andy ideas to let it keep me down!
I found it very enjoyable in most aspects, and an eye opener for a lot of different characters.
Anyways, a Dov drabble now! :)
I hope you enjoy!
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Dov Epstein. Set after 'Big Nickel'.
Being a cop is all he's ever wanted.
Ever since he was little, he's always looked up to the men and women in blue, facing danger and doing whatever it takes to protect everyone else. (No matter what his parents had to say on the matter; he chose not to listen to them, even though it was the only thing they ever agreed on. As keen as he was to listen to them not fighting, he couldn't bear to hear their opinions of the police.)
All his life, this is what he's worked for.
He tries, and he does what he can, just praying that it will be enough.
Now, though … he's not so sure if it will be. His ever-burning hope that everything will turn out alright, because he has what it takes, is close to being extinguished.
That paper-cut out is haunting him; the man with the cell phone that he'd stupidly mistaken for a gun. God, he's never felt more like an idiot. Not when he left his radio on, not when he accidentally discharged his weapon … This definitely takes the cake for stupidity.
This is all he's ever wanted, because all he's ever wanted is to help people. He wants to protect them; protect all of them, as impossible as that is. If he can make a mistake like that, though, it's pretty clear that he can't help people. He may just end up hurting them instead.
And that's definitely not something that he can live with.
It's definitely a bitter pill to swallow … knowing that he might not be cut out for this, after everything he's gone through to get to this point; knowing that the others may see him as a failure, and a risk to society.
The relief of having chosen correctly at the re-test in the firing range is nice, but sadly short-lived; because that little seed of doubt has already been sown, and this miraculous turn of direction doesn't do a thing to diminish it.
Sure, maybe he chose right this time.
But he made an unforgiveable error the time before.
He himself is not so sure that he's cut out for this anymore, let alone what anyone else thinks. In the end, whether or not they give him his gun back and pass him, it all comes down to what he's willing to do.
And suddenly he's not sure whether or not he's willing to do this; because he sure as hell isn't willing to put anyone in danger because he's incompetent.
Now he just has to figure out if that's what he is.
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Please review and let me know what you think!