Pokémon – Pikachu, I reluctantly choose you!
It was a dark and rainy night when Ash Ketchum and his Pikachu were on their way to the nearest Pokémon Center.
"Will we make it, Pikachu?" asked Ash, seeking confirmation from his Pikachu, which has been quiet for the last 15 minutes.
"Pi...ka..."
Pikachu was hurt from a previous battle. Gary Oak met Ash, who immediately agreed to his challenge. He won the last battle, it was his Pikachu against a Magikarp. But since then, his Magikarp evolved into a Gyarados and learned a plethora of amazing new moves such as the Soulja Boy and the Bartman. All of Ash's Pokémon were defeated, even his Pidgey, which he planned on using to fly away after the hard battle. Only Pikachu barely survived.
"Ash" said Pikachu.
"...what, dude. Can't you see I'm busy breaking my Doodle Jump highsc-
holy crap! You can talk, Pikachu!"
"Yeah. Listen. You're walking in the opposite direction. If you don't turn your useless ass around right now I'm going to fucking die."
"You should have told me ea-"
"Shut the hell up." Pikachu strangled Ash because he thought he was the biggest dumb-ass to have ever lived.
"I thought we were friends and all that shit." Ash was disappointed by the fact that he now had 0 friends.
"Only in your gay-ass dreams. I know what they're about. Sick fuck."
While Ash regretted telling Pikachu about his homo-erotic, sometimes incestuous dreams, he encountered a town. Pewter City. They finally made it thanks to Pikachu.
"Look, there's Brock!"
Ash and Brock split up recently because Brock thought that he finally figured out how to get in every girls pants ever. When they met, Ash couldn't help but ask about his endeavors.
"At first it worked, I got several one-night-stands, but now they're, I can't really explain it, aware. They think I'm tricking them or some shit. It's scary. Never try that out."
Pikachu was smirking the entire time and the two caught up to that after a while.
"What's the matter, 'Chu?"
"You're all losers. I get laid by tens every single day." Pikachu showed off some girls he scored with on his iPhone.
"Whoa, girls that pretty exist?" asked Brock, who admitted that all the girls he has ever had sex with were fatties with bad breath.
One of the pictures was a topless Misty. This was the first time Ash has seen Misty like that, in fact, Ash was now so jealous of Pikachu that he saw their Trainer-Pokémon relationship in danger. How were they going to achieve even greater things if Ash can't focus on anything but the imagination of Pikachu sticking his yellow dick in Misty's ass? For the last time, Ash looked at Pikachu and proceeded to say
"It's over. I don't think I want to be your trainer any longer. Consider yourself released."
"No, Ash, wait!" Pikachu ran after Ash. "We need to discuss several things I guess."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, think of how great our bond was before I turned out to have fucked your mom."
"You did what?"
"Ash, we were drunk. I'm sure you would have done the same, judging by that rape fantasy you told me about last year."
It was rather silent, Brock left the two alone to argue while transferring Pikachu's 190 gigabyte big "pics of me fucking bitches" photo album to his external hard drive.
Just then, a trainer appeared out of nowhere.
"Anyone up for a fight? What about you, the one with the silly cap next to that yellow rat with the enormous dong."
"My cap is not silly!" said Ash, interrupting Pikachu's explanation of a woman's clitoris.
"Alright, maybe a fight will settle that." said the trainer, firmly gripping his balls.
"I'll shut you up, cunt!" Ash agreed to fight.
The trainer sent out a Bulbasaur to which Ash sent out his Pidgey. The Gust attack proved to be the right choice, as his Bulbasaur quickly fainted. Next up was a Marill. Ash's only Pokémon that could deal sufficient damage to it was Pikachu.
"Pikachu, I... I... I choose you!" he said with a single tear running down his face.
"Cry more, pussy." remarked the trainer.
Pikachu kicked ass and chewed bubble gum, that day however he was all out of gum, and it showed. Marill's funeral was postponed as they were still finding its organs all over Pewter City months after the fight. Ash was happy about Pikachu being the good fighter he is, and they both went to Pallet Town to have a threesome with his mom so that Ash could finally lose his virginity. The End