By: Belisse
Spoilers: Season 2
Pairings: Shep/Weir, Beckett/Cadman, and pre Ronon/Teyla. The pairings will be there, but any romance or fluffiness will be kept to a minimum. This is an action fic, with the touch of humor from my Series.
Genre: Humor/Action/Adventure
Summary: The bets were a long time ago; the ultrasound gel is safely locked up. All the paintball guns were just confiscated and the orange berries deemed dangerous. What else is to happen? Atlantis is caught with its pants down… to the ankles.
Rating: I'll go with PG-13 or T+ just in case.
Disclaimer: I don't own SGA or Sheppard, I only wish I did. I only own Stella.
A/N: This is the 7th and last installment in the Friends are foes series. I wanted some closure on the Series so this fic came up. This fic IS a sequel of everything up to date, from the bets in the beginning, the relationships along the way. Stella and the effects of certain fruits. I will try to make it look like a stand alone, but having the background info might be good. If you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, then go by my profile and is all there.
Enjoy!
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Chapter I: Catching up
No one knew that a mere glass of water was going to be the reason Colonel John Sheppard would be able to keep Atlantis safe once again. From all their experiences, John should have known better than to trust a single glass of water. But logic told him that there was no danger on it.
The team was once again on the Salacy planet. The trade negotiations with the Salacy people were always a pleasure and this day it was no exception.
They had came in early, had the proper feast with the elders. Which meant that they ate only meat as anything else could be a potential aphrodisiac. After the feast they talked about the last trade and then they were invited to the wedding of the Leader's daughter.
They had no intention to make these people feel insulted, so they accepted. Everyone went, except Ronon who decided to stay with the Jumper. Sheppard had reluctantly allowed him to stay, but he was on the alert as it had become a challenge keeping Ronon from eating any kind of fruits.
John had seen all the trees where all the blue fruits came from and he smiled at the memory. But then he flinched internally as he remembered that all the government high officials might have seen the tapes that captured the events of that day. And those who hadn't seen it, they had definitely heard about them. His last visit to earth had been a nightmare, because he had to stand in a room with said officials and explain what happened. At least he wasn't alone as all the high staff of Atlantis was in that meeting. But that didn't take away the embarrassment.
The wedding was a bit different to what he was accustomed to, but that didn't take away the fact that the ceremony was a good one. The Colonel walked around the area and stopped at the food table. He picked a glass and filled it with water. But before he could even think of drinking it, Rodney appeared at his side and took the glass from him.
"Thanks" Rodney said practically oblivious to John's glare.
"You're welcome" John replied with a hint of sarcasm. Then he proceeded to take another glass and drink the water before Rodney decided he wanted a refill.
John looked around and sensed that this would be a good time to leave. Because the only thing that could bring trouble among the Salacy is that they are too in touch with their sexual side. Everything they had to eat, the team couldn't touch. So, there was a moment where the wedding went from a nice party to what it looked like the beginnings of a free for all orgy. That's when John decided to call it a day and leave the place.
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For a moment Ronon Dex didn't know how to feel or react. He was on a very nice planet, with very nice people but Sheppard kept insisting that he couldn't touch any food. But when he asked why, no one gave him a straight answer.
Ronon was starting to get confused and curious as to why in the heavens, when he asked about why not eating the fruits; he had always the same reaction. Teyla would blush and look a bit sad, Rodney would start stammering and Sheppard would laugh. The issue was annoying Ronon to the core.
The Colonel had ordered him to watch over the jumper as they loaded the thing with the trading goods while they attended a wedding ceremony. They did it as a sign of friendship, but Ronon was not in the mood to be in a ceremony like that and he stayed with the jumper without complaints. While he waited, his eye caught up to a nearby tree and the mysterious blue fruit.
He wondered what could be so wrong about a fruit that looked so edible. He looked around once more and walked towards the tree. He grabbed one fruit in his hands and was about to take a bite when he heard someone shout; "What the hell are you doing?"
Ronon turned around and glared at Sheppard. "I want to know what is wrong with it."
Rodney and Teyla were just behind John. Rodney stared at Ronon, his tone sarcastic, and said "As much as it would amuse me, I don't think that seeing you hump a tree is something I could live with."
Teyla grinned and Ronon frowned, he had no idea what the scientist just said. Before he could say anything back, John intervened. "The thing is Ronon that we had an incident in Atlantis a couple of months before you arrived. These can make you feel as if you are in mating heat. Believe me, you don't want to go thought it alone."
Ronon nodded almost satisfied with the explanation, but still he made sure no one was watching and pocket it the fruit.
Then Colonel said the proper goodbyes to the leaders and in no time they were heading back to Atlantis. John was feeling a bit hot, but he assumed that it was only the long day. Because he didn't had anything in the planet that was out of bounds for them but then he assumed it was nothing that a warm shower and a comfy bed wouldn't resolve.
The trip back was made in silence; everyone was tired from their day at the planet. Then the jumper softly touched the floor of the bay and there was Elizabeth waiting for them. "Welcome back! Colonel Sheppard I need to speak with you."
The team went on their separate ways and John approached Elizabeth. "What's going on?"
"The Daedalus arrived two hours ago."
John made a face, "So… lonely nights for two weeks."
Elizabeth smirked. "I'm afraid so, and Colonel Cadwell wants to have a meeting with us."
John frowned, "Us as in…"
"Just you and me."
John passed his hand through his hair, "Do you think he knows?"
Elizabeth looked at her watch and back at John, "I don't know, but if he says anything about it I will develop a mild case of amnesia."
John smirked, "Ok."
Seeing his reaction Elizabeth turned to leave, "The meeting is in two hours, I expect you to be there on time."
John took his things and headed walked right behind Elizabeth, "Don't worry, I'll be there."
Once out of the bay, Elizabeth made her way back to the control center, and John turned towards the living quarters area. He was heading straight towards his room, when he was distracted by the sounds coming out of the rec room. Somebody was deep into a video game, and by the sounds of it was an action game.
When he entered the room Stella Roig was slumped on one of the couches, playing the game heartlessly. "Hey, you're back." John said as he approached the sofa. Then he picked the box on the table, the name of the game was Kill Switch. John placed it back on the table and sat down besides Stella. "I didn't know you liked this kind of games."
Stella stared at the game and replied, "A girl can dream right?"
"What do you mean?"
"I stay here all day messing with the cameras, doing everyone's laundry while you go off world and do all the exciting work."
John could only stare at her, "Exciting? Do you think getting my ass kicked by a cranky alien is exciting?"
Stella sighted before answering, "Yeah, you're right."
"How was your vacation? How's Bates?"
Stella seemed to freeze for a moment. Pausing the game she lowered the control and glanced at John, "Actually my vacation went quite well. I went back to earth, did some shopping, and went to the beach. Mostly girly stuff then my boyfriend left me and I arrive back to the city after a trip with the Colonel from hell only to find out that I'm four paintball guns short. My life is awesome; just throw me to an incoming wormhole."
"Oh, come on. I'll get them back."
"I thought I left them with you as a safe keeping, not to have them confiscated by Dr. Weir!"
John frowned, "Who told you?"
Stella stood up and turned off the game, "It doesn't matter, forget it." Then she turned around and left. Leaving John feeling a bit bad for her on top of his now spinning brain. He felt a bit buzzed, which he didn't understand, because made sure he hadn't touched any weird food back on the planet. Once his brain stopped spinning, he cursed, stood up and walked towards his room.
Two hours later, John walked into the briefing room, Elizabeth was already seated and Col. Cadwell was arriving as well. John nodded to the Colonel and headed for his seat. Elizabeth and John waited for the Colonel to begin; they didn't know what this meeting was about. But they didn't want to give away anything by speaking first.
Colonel Caldwell sat on the other side of the table and stared at the leaders of the city. "We need to discuss certain behavior that I've noticed in my short stay here," –He placed his hands on the table and continued- "we discovered a box full of alcohol inside the Deadalus."
Elizabeth and John eyed one another, John almost sighed in relief, but he managed to keep himself in check. He put on his most serious face and replied, "Do you know who the owner is?" John knew that, it was one of the boxes that had been ordered for the big celebration. The guys were going to be angry.
Caldwell stayed silent for a minute and replied, "If I knew we wouldn't be having this conversation. Someone is bringing alcohol into the city, I though we were here to gain the knowledge of the Ancients, not to transform their city into an intergalactic bar."
They remained silent for a few seconds when John decided to speak up, "But that's not the only thing that's bothering you. Right… sir?"
Caldwell sat up straight and eyed them with a suspicious glare, "I know you two gave an authorization for a party here in the city."
"So?" Elizabeth blurted out before she could control herself.
"Excuse me?" Caldwell asked.
"What is so wrong with me allowing the people who live and work on this city, to have a small social event? After all they are the ones who are getting that knowledge you desperately crave. They do deserve a break. And besides, no one will be abandoning their work, as the ones that are allowed to go are those who are off duty. There wasn't any alcohol in my list, but I imagine some might have gotten a little over enthusiastic over this party. I don't blame them though; after all we've been through."
The Colonel shifted in his seat, "I will report this to the SGC."
"I will open the gate and tell them myself. You will be here for two weeks Colonel, the party is in two days and you're more than welcomed to attend. But don't you ever come in here to tell me what to do."
With those words, she stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Sheppard and Caldwell alone. Caldwell seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment and then he murmured, "I pity the man who falls for her."
"Really?" John blurted out before he could keep himself in check.
Caldwell frowned and gave John a weird look. John gave himself a mental kick then quickly stood up. "Are we done, sir?"
Caldwell eyed him suspiciously then replied, "Yeah, go."
Without thinking it twice John walked out of the briefing room.
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Elizabeth had gone first to her office, but she needed to cool down so she headed toward her room. Right before arriving she heard someone calling her name. It was John, and Elizabeth confirmed it when she turned around to face him.
"That was close." John said.
Elizabeth smiled at the statement and replied, "I know… for a second there I thought that he was going to talk about us."
"Me too." John replied as he shot Elizabeth a pleading gaze.
Elizabeth grinned at him, as she already knew what he was about to say.
"So, we really can't share a bed?"
Elizabeth frowned, "Are you that needy?"
"Yes… NO! Is just that two weeks….."
Elizabeth shot him a glare, "John, is not like I'm asking you to take a vow of abstinence."
John placed his head on Elizabeth's shoulder and made a mock cry, "I don't want to."
Elizabeth had to roll her eyes, "Don't be so childish."
John tried to put up his most serious face and replied, "Then don't blame if there's an alien goddess, princess or glowing being that falls for my charms."
"What ever you say Colonel, but remember who gives the orders here." Elizabeth said giving John a wide smirk.
John just stood there and stared at Elizabeth with a surprised expression. Then she turned and walked away towards her room.
John didn't know what to say, so he smirked, turned around and walked away. He decided to go straight towards Rodney's lab. He knew that the guys will get mad at the situation. But someone had to tell them, maybe that way they could find a way to make the night more interesting.
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The ship was two days away from its final destination. The people of Atlantis were in for the surprise of their lives. Not only had his people managed to get a working spaceship from the recently fallen Olesian planet. But some new weapons as well, no doubt that the fight for Atlantis will be a swift one.
That he knew for sure, Acastus Kolya was confident on his new plan, for the ultimate revenge.