"La-de-da-de-Daaaaaaa!" The sheriff of Nottingham fell ten feet to the bottom of a random hole that had been dug in the middle of the path out in the woods and covered sloppily with stray leaves and branches. A few moments after he fell into the trap there could be heard the sound of horses approaching and the voice of Gisborne close after.
"Got one!" He said, running up to the trap "See guards? You owe me twenty taxes, you said that I could never catch Robin Hood and I have!"
"Wow" One of the guards admitted "I never thought you could catch anything, you sure showed me."
"That's right, I am PRO at my job." Gisborne gloated "Give me a pile of twigs, some branches, a shovel and several starved workers and I can build a trap any time."
They were all silenced when they heard a growl come from the bottom of the trap. "Gisborne..." It said.
"Silence!" Gisborne commanded. "The time for talking is over, Hood. The time for torture starts now-"
"GISBORNE!"
"...Sir?" Gisborne peeked over the edge of the hole. The Sheriff glared up at him. Gisborne swallowed. The sheriff's eye twitched. Gisborne practically died. "...crap."
"I'd ask for an explanation but your explanations are always the same, aren't they?"
"uh... I can... um..." Gisborne was sweating profusely. " ...Robin Hood, sir-"
"Shut up, Guy!"
The guards all tried to stifle their chuckles as Gisborne stood there stupidly staring down at the trap.
"GET ME OUT OF THIS HOLE!" The Sheriff said, spazzing out like a chipmunk on crack.
"Yes sir... right away sir. Let me find a stick..." He scurried quickly into the nearby forest, grabbed a stick and-
ZIIIIIIIIIINNNG!
An arrow flew by his head and was quickly followed by some groans and cursing from the surrounding trees.
"Robin, you loser! He's right there!!"
"I meant to do that, Much. Its all part of the plan."
"I thought the plan was to HIT the target!"
"Um... its a different plan. This is plan B."
"We never discussed a plan B. You missed... again..."
"Much... my aim is second to none. If you think you can do better-"
ZIIIIIIIIIINNNG!
An arrow hit Gisborne in the head... but his hair was so greasy it slid off harmlessly.
"Aha!" Gisborne turned around "My trap, it worked! I meant for that to happen, don't you see that Robin was drawn by the sound of the Sheriff's plea for help and umm..."
"You're just making this up aren't you?" Asked Much.
"That was beginner's luck" Robin said, still focused on his own pride as he strung another arrow and took aim. "Let me show you how the pros do it."
Gisborne was still just standing there trying to come up with an excuse for why his idea was actually brilliant instead of a horrible fail. Nevermind the band of merry men that were taking turns aiming arrows at him and missing.
"What's going on up there?!" The sheriff demanded "Is that Robin hood?!"
"I'm taking care of it!" Guy squealed in a whiny voice "Why don't you just let me handle these things on my own!?"
"It might be because you're always screwing up when you try to 'handle things on yours own'" The Sheriff said much to the nods of agreement of the others. "Now kill them!"
Later, after no one had been killed and everyone was back at home picking the arrows out of their armor, the sheriff decided that it was time to come up with a suitable punishment for Guy of Gisborne. "I don't know what to do" He said to his reflection because no one else wanted to talk to him. "He just messes everything up."
"Agreed" His reflection said "Something needs to be done or he'll just keep on screwing up more things."
"Yes yes but what?"
Suddenly they both had it. The perfect plan that would certainly show Gisborne that when the Sheriff of Nottingham fell into holes he dug there were penalties to be paid. He commenced to laugh evilly for a little while before he realized that his reflection wasn't listening anymore and decided to go torture some prisoners instead.
The next morning....
Guy of Gisborne woke up early to a bright new day. Today, he thought to himself, things would be different, today was the day he was going to catch Robin Hood and prove to everyone that he was not a failure at everything. The Sheriff had to give him another chance, after all, how mad could he be?
He went to his closet thinking of all the people he was going to prove wrong when he opened it to find...
His jaw dropped open. All of his black leather was gone.
"No!" He said, unimaginatively. " No no NOOOO!" He kicked the closet door shut and stomped over to his bed, under which he kept a spare outfit of black leather. It was gone. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Some one will pay for this!" He vowed. "Robin Hood..."
But you can't catch Robin Hood. Said the reasonable voice in his head.
"Then I shall punish... Marian!"
Really...? The voice sounded unconvinced.
"Really!"
Reeeeaaally?
"Well... that ...or shower her with gifts and flowers and maybe a poem until she can't help but love me."
The voice was quiet. "Oh... just say it!"
You're pathetic.
Gisborne could only agree. "Before I do anything I'll need to find something other than this flannel teddy bear nightie to garb myself in." He looked around the room for a creative solution. Yes, that's right, Guy of Gisborne literally had no other clothes. His eyes fell onto the purple drapes on his window. It was.. a bit unconventional but anything was better than letting soldier 12 win his bet about Guy's sleepwear.