"Spence. Spencer." her soft voice gasped, as my grip on her soft slender hand tightened and my heart shot into my mouth. I'd been waiting for her to wake up since she came out her operation four hours ago with neat little stitches just above her belly button. Thank God it'd missed organs.

"I'm right here." i said relief washing over my features and guilt beginning to resurface over how'd she ended up here. My tears, were they happy or sad? i didn't know, ran down my already tear streaked cheeks as she gave me that 1000 watt smile that was capable to make my knees weak and stomach flip several times in one look.

"Spence. Baby. What's the..." she said as she looked around the all white room filled with machines beeping away and then her golden eyes drifted towards the occupant of the other uncomfortable grey chair.

"Oh." she finished.

|FLASHBACK|

"You did this. This is your fault." he said waving his hands around indicating the hospital and theatre as he stared me square in the face. People who walked past either chose to walk away and not notice or look our way and send daggers with their eyes.

"How is this my fault? Huh? How?" i argued back. He glared at me.

"Why couldn't you just have left us alone." he continued.

What the fuck! Left them alone! Left them! Why couldn't he have left us alone? Me and Ashley.

I refused to let him see my tears and chose my anger to show as i slapped him around his chisselled features. His taunts floated around and around in my head forcing me to slowly take them in. Slowly but surely those words massacred my already ruined heart.

|END|

"Hey Ash." Aiden said grabbing her other hand as he moved ringlets of hair out of her face with the other.

"I think i'm going to go. I'll leave you two to talk." i said getting up to go.

Aiden sat there with a smug smile on his face, like he'd won but if she stopped me then i knew. I'd know she wanted me.

I walked towards the door and with one look back to see Ashley staring right at me. With tears glistening my vision i walked through the freshhold.

After i'd left the room i broke down. She'd had a choice, but she didn't choose me. She could have stopped me. She could have told me i was who she wanted.

She could have...

I slid down the corridor wall as my tears fell heavily and fast from my eyes as i trembled with frustration and pain.

I got back up onto my feet feeling slightly lightheaded and rushed to the stair door.

There was no way i would allow more people to see me like this. Like a wreak. And to be honest i needed some time to be alone, to think, to clear my head, and well with eight flights of stairs to go down i think that was also a good work out.

Also well i cannot handle people gawping and staring at me.

Or worst of all my mom seeing me like this.

Lets start this defeat of the stairs, I thought, making my way over to the deserted staircase.

what do you think??? reviews welcomed. i'll upload the other chapter i've got now. if you like it i'll continue if not well thats your choice thanks again Ellie xx