Chapter 3
Edward jumped. "What the fuck?"
"It's a Teddy Ruxpin doll!", shouted Bella.
"That answered my question, aiya." Chow stood up and walked. The vampires hissed. "Damn. This is weirder than living with Michael Easton when he was playing Caleb on that soap opera, aiya!"
Chow turned to Jacob. "Even weirder than a nudist that always smells like a wet dog. Hey, Fido! You were a little too old to be sleeping with a teddy bear, aiya!"
"I like him!", said Rosalie.
Chow then turned to Bella. "and you! I kicked Teddy Ruxpin's ass, aiya!"
Edward looked confused. "What the fuck is a Teddy Ruxpin?"
"Trust me, you don't want to know.", Bella answered.
"Hold up!", said Jacob. "When did you learn to talk?"
"When you were a fucking twinkle in your pop's eye, aiya!" Chow turned to Rosalie. "Hey, blonde goddess, lift me to eye level with dog boy."
Rosalie did and Chow smacked him. "I smell like dog ass, Inuyasha!", he yelled. "Wash me now, aiya, and be happy for the opportunity!"
"I definitely like you!", Rosalie said.
"I hope it's not in the same way you like blood… because I don't have any, aiya."
Jacob gave Chow a bath to try and shut him up. No dice.
"Wipe my ass counter clockwise! That's not how you wash between my toes, aiya! Keep that fucking soap out of my eyes! How the fuck do you was your own ass? DO YOU EVEN WASH YOUR ASS?"
Later Bella found a Teddy Ruxpin doll and showed Edward, who backed away and hissed. Chow walked in, freshly washed by his slave Jake.
"Oh, another one!", Chow growled. "I'll whoop your ass too!"
Chow ripped the bear apart. Then he walked into Jacob's room. "Hey Inuyasha! Get me some good weed, motherfucker!"
Nobody cleaned up the Teddy Ruxpin parts, so Carlisle was pissed again (or still) when he walked in after a long shift at the hospital.
"FUCK!", he shouted.
Chow walked in the main room. "Hi, I'm Chow. How the hell are ya?"
He held out a paw to Carlisle. "Oh I can have this taken care of."
Chow yelled in the direction of Jacob's room. "Hey, Inuyasha! Clean up this mess!"