I felt like writing a crack fic about cake. So that's what I'm doing. Now, even though this is a crack fic it will be SasuNaru. If you don't like, call 1-800-BITE-ME. Now…. Fic…

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Sasuke wanted cake really bad. But the bakery was closed. He did have some cake a crazy fangirl had given him, but he was too afraid of what might be in it to eat it…. "Shit," he muttered. "Where the fuck do I get some cake from at two in the morning." He looked at the bakery in front of him. In the window was delicious looking cake, chocolate with a glaze frosting. He licked his lips, and then ran over to the door, pulling out his lock pics as he went. He laughed at the craziness of what he was actually doing as he unlocked the door. The lock was easy to pick and he smirked with satisfaction as it clicked. 'Cause, I mean, who would rob a bakery. Sasuke went to the cake in the window and picked it up, tray and all. Then he picked up the pink one next to it. This one had a red heart on top. He smiled and left, locking the door again behind him. As soon as he was gone the owner of the shop stepped out of the shadows, smiling. That boy would regret that pink cake in a few days. The old man's glasses shined in that evilly- villainish- glassesy way that they have. He laughed his evil, villainy laugh.

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Sasuke sat in his room, gorging on his stolen cakes. He had already eaten half of the first one. He continued, chocolate smearing his perfect face and porcelain hands. He grinned as the sugar took him, remembering suddenly why his mother had never let him have sugar. He almost cried because his mother wasn't here to yell at him for eating too much cake. But as soon as he started he forgot why he had been about to and began eating cake again. Sasuke then proceeded to eat the rest of the chocolate cake. Then he bounced around his room…. Literally. He actually broke through what seemed to be paper thin wall (which was actually two feet thick) and into the corridor beyond. Then he got up and ran back into his room, through the Sasuke shaped hole. He picked up the other cake and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was decorated for Valentines' day. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was that it was yummy, and frosting coated. And it was pink, which was secretly his favorite color. He also liked daisies. He bit into the cake and found that it was filled with strawberries. He didn't notice the strange tang of chakra that came with the strawberries.

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Sasuke woke up with a weird headache the next day. He couldn't really remember what had happened the night before, but judging by the hole in the wall. He shook his head, remembering his craving for cake and decided to fix the hole later. He went to practice like a normal day, heading to practice grounds with an onigiri that Sakura had made for him. She knew he hated making food, and often came over now with things she had made. He ate it as he walked, arriving at the practice grounds considerably late. All three of the teammates had begun to arrive late everyday. It just seemed pointless to go early, just to wait for Kakashi. Naruto was the only one there when Sasuke got there. He watched the blonde boy stretching on the grass and felt an odd stirring down below. He's really flexible….he thought. Then he shook his head and sat down next to him. Naruto smiled as his best friend sat down next to him. "Hey, Sasuke-teme!" he said. Their name calling had become friendly, almost affectionate, over the years.

"Hey, Dobe." He said, watching the way the blonde bent his head down… right into his groin. Sasuke almost groaned when he felt his "area" twitch again. Then he noticed half of a cake sitting on the ground next to Naruto. On it was a half heart, like the one he had eaten the night before. Naruto picked up another piece from it and started eating it. Sasuke watched in fascination as the blonde ate it one bite. Oh….my…..god…..Sasuke had the sudden urge to ravish the blonde, though he wasn't quite sure why. He had never been ay before. Or at least not that he could remember. Well, there was that time that he and Naruto kissed. But that was totally an accident. But that 'accident' was now making him hard. He suddenly noticed Naruto was staring at him and blushed brightly. Sasuke never blushed. It made him blush even more, knowing that he had never done it before. And that Naruto now knew he was embarrassed.

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Naruto sat there stretching as Sasuke came up. He had gotten a special Valentine's Day cake from the bakery on his way to training, and had eaten half of it. He was pretty sure he would regret it later, but it was worth it. Sasuke sat down next to him and he said hi. Sasuke said hi back. Naruto stretched downward, placing his face practically on the ground. He sat up, took another piece of cake and put the whole thing in his mouth. He looked at Sasuke and suddenly wondered what he would look like eating cake. He felt the whole area between his legs twitch and looked at Sasuke. Suddenly Sasuke blushed and Naruto almost glomped him right then and there. Then he smirked evilly. He stood up, grabbed Sasuke's sleeve, and began dragging him towards the woods. Sasuke stopped blushing, wondering what Naruto was doing. There were a couple of other teams at the training grounds by now, and Naruto didn't want them to see what was happened next.

SMEXSMEXSMEXSMEXSMEXSMEXSMEXSMEXSNEXSMEXSMEXSMEXSMEX

(A/N: points above Yes, I know, subtle. Just wanted to let you know, even though it's in the summary, and as though it wasn't already quite obvious, this is a lemon. If you don't like, go away.)

As soon as they got fifty yards into the woods Naruto pinned Sasuke up against a tree. He looked at Sasuke for a minute, and then kissed him passionately on the lips. He bit Sasuke's lower lip and Sasuke opened his mouth to allow Naruto's tongue entrance. There they fought for dominance, and Sasuke gained control. Sasuke flipped them so Naruto's back was up against the tree, grinding against his hardening member. Naruto gasped into Sasuke's mouth, winding his fingers into the ducky's hair. Sasuke slowly unzipped Naruto's jacket. Too slowly in Naruto's opinion, who quickly began to undress Sasuke. Sasuke lifted his arms and broke the kiss so Naruto could remove his shirt. As soon as it hit the ground Naruto trailed his fingers over the naked flesh. Naruto kissed him again, softly trailing his fingers down to the top of Sasuke's pants. He unbuttoned the top and let them fall to Sasuke's feet. They again broke the kiss so Naruto could pull off his shirt and Sasuke undid his pants so the slid down his muscled legs to pool around his feet. Naruto's bare back scrapped against the bark of the tree behind him, leaving bloody gouges. He didn't notice however, he was too full of lust. And they healed so quickly it didn't matter. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's dick through his thin boxers, pumping up and down slowly. Sasuke moaned loudly and Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He dropped Sasuke's boxers, then his own. Then he flipped Sasuke around and laid him onto the ground in one fluid motion. Sasuke was now on his hands and knees, with Naruto on top of him. He moaned when he felt Naruto's hand grab his throbbing dick. Naruto set himself so he was ready to enter. His mouth was on Sasuke's neck, right where the shoulder met it. He sucked on it hard and pushed in slowly. Sasuke groaned; have in pain and half in ecstasy as Naruto pushed all the way in. He stayed there for a minute, waiting for it to stop hurting. He kissed Sasuke's neck. Then bit it. Sasuke nodded and Naruto pulled halfway out, and then pushed in again. Sasuke moaned, and Naruto licked him. There was a bright red mark where he had been suckling. He moved up a little further as he got into a rhythm. Sasuke moaned every time he went in and out. Then he started to say, "Faster, Naru-kun!" So Naruto went faster, his new nickname egging him on.

As he went Naruto pumped Sasuke's cock below him. And soon Sasuke felt as though he was going to explode. Naruto kept pumping, and began to go faster than humanly possible. Sasuke moaned even louder, and then Naruto came in dizzying waves. And right after him Sasuke came too, right into Naruto's hand. Then they both collapsed onto the ground. Naruto pulled himself out of Sasuke and rolled over beside him bringing his hand up to lick it clean. Sasuke watched his tongue with interest. He felt himself begin to get hard and the whole ordeal began again, only this time, Sasuke topped…

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Kakashi and Sakura sat at the edge of tee woods, wondering where Naruto and Sasuke were. "Maybe Naruto, but it's not like Sasuke to skip out on training.

Kakashi sighed. "Sakura…. Can't you hear that?"

Sakura sat there quietly for a minute then nodded. "It sounds like… moaning?" she said, perplexed.

Kakashi nodded. "Do you see that cake there?" he asked. Sakura nodded. "That cake comes from a bakery shop in town. It's called Valentine surprise." He said, for once sounding like a teacher. "Inside of that cake is a kind of chakra… erm… fused strawberry. It's basically…. An aphrodisiac…." He said.

Sakura looked at him. "Are you serious?" She asked.

Kakashi gave her what he thought was a serious look.

Sakura gasped, finally grasping the point. "Do you mean… that moaning…Oh my god! I gotta see this!" she yelled, standing up.

"No." Kakashi said. " Let's just let it run it's course. Besides… I'm video taping it…" he muttered.

Sakura looked at him pleadingly. "Can I have a copy?" she begged.

Kakashi sighed. "Fine."

Sakura cheered and went to eat some of the cake, but found that Ino had already eaten some. But, without thinking of the consequences she ate some too. Kakashi sat watching, laughed at the people staring. Including Lee, who was drooling. Then he picked up the last three pieces of the cake to take Iruka. That's dad for ya. He thought, He always was a dirty old man.

Now then. This turned into more of a smut fic than a crack fic. I don't know why I made the old man Kakashi's dad…. It just sorta fit. Anyways… this is actually only the second lemon I've ever written. So don't go too hard on me. Flames will be used to bake cookies with! I like cookies… they're chocolaty. Mmm….