Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or it's characters, and this saddens me greatly. All credit goes to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.
Author's note: Hey guys~ This is an incredibly late fan fiction written for 'tii-chan17' as a thanks for her choosing me to be her beta. (:
I rated this 'T', but I'm not sure if should be 'M'. There's no smut in it, and nothing too graphic blood-wise, so I decided on 'T'. There's blood and language, that's all. But, I will say it now; this fic will have a happy ending. (: I'm not that evil. Oh, and this might just be me, but I can totally see Mello being slightly bipolar. No disrespect to anyone who is bipolar, of course. (:
~Please review!~ (: I love reviews, just so you all know. (:
~Rainbow Fruit Loop.
~Forever and Always~
Chapter One
"Hey Mels…? We need to talk. Now."
A man with dark red, slightly messy hair is scrawled out on a large bed in the middle of an equally large bedroom. He is wearing a slightly baggy black and red striped shirt over tight, dark pants, and his favourite orange-tinted goggles.
The goggles hide his stunning dark green eyes, which, although it is hard for those who do not know him well enough to see, hold a mixture of hurt and fear.
Matt hadn't meant for his words to sound so incredibly cliché, but he's said them now. There's no going back.
His request is directed at the gorgeous, leather-clad male in the corner of the room, who is hunched over a large stack of papers.
They're all to do with the Kira case.
His blonde hair is mussed up – as is a result of his running his fingers through it every few minutes out of exasperation.
The blonde doesn't turn around as he answers his lover.
"Can't it wait?" Mello brushes Matt's request aside, his eyes still glued to the paper in front of him. "I'm a little busy."
As he speaks, he takes a bite of the half-eaten bar of chocolate clutched in his free hand.
"No, Mels. It can't."
Matt tries to be forceful; he has to get Mello to listen to him now. Because if he doesn't listen now, then Matt's not sure that he'll be able to say it again.
Irritated, Mello turns around in his chair – straddling it the wrong way round. He presses his chin against the hard plastic at top of the chair, and sighs.
He presses his middle finger to the bridge of his nose, and closes his eyes before replying.
"What could be so fucking urgent that you need to tell me right now? Can't you see that I'm busy?" he snaps, shaking his head slightly.
That's something which Matt hates about Mello. The way that he can make anything seem irrelevant and insignificant, the way that he can brush off anything Matt wants to say with a dismissive wave of his hand, or a simple "I'm too busy."
Because, no matter how important Matt is to him, he's just too damn busy with the Kira case.
No. It's not that. He doesn't give a shit about catching Kira.
Mello's ambition is not to capture Kira, the psychopathic mass murderer roaming free around the streets of Japan.
No.
His ambition is not to avenge the man who he had respected more than anybody else in the entire world; the man who he had trusted with all of his heart; the man who was unkindly, unfairly, unjustly killed by Kira in a fit of cruel, heartless hate.
No.
Because his pure ambition is to beat Near. His ambition is to solve the puzzle before Nate River, his rival, gets a chance to.
And Matt hates that.
"Mihael Keehl, I want you to listen to me." Matt says, his voice low and serious. "Right now."
If Mello is surprised at the full name usage, he doesn't show it. Instead, he gives a dramatic sigh, and half drops, half throws the pen in his hand to the slightly grubby cream carpet below.
"What the fuck do you want?"
Ignoring Mello's rudeness - it's a part of who he is - Matt gets up off the bed slowly, and crosses the room to where Mello is rolling his intense blue eyes.
They're such striking eyes, Matt notes. Such stunning, expressive, beautiful eyes.
Matt stops in front of Mello's chair, and looks downwards at his lover.
"I want… No, I need you to make a decision." He says quietly.
Mello brushes a few strands of glossy blonde out of his face as his eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion.
"About what, hm?"
Here goes nothing.
Because he's nervous. He really doesn't want to force Mello to make a decision – it doesn't seem fair. To make someone choose between two of the most important things in their life… it seems cruel and heartless.
But he has to.
Because it hurts him too much to remain as they are.
So, Matt swallows the lump in his throat, and takes a non-visible breath in.
"I want you to choose… It's either me, or Near."
There. He's said it now; it's off his chest. It feels as though a huge weight has been dropped from his shoulders; a weight he didn't realise he was carrying.
He feels bolder now.
"But, it's not really a decision, is it, Matty?" Mello purrs, obviously out of his bad mood.
He gets up off the chair, slinks over to his lover, and seductively presses his body against Matt's.
Matt can't help but to shudder as Mello runs a finger up his back very slowly. Mello has a devious look on his face; a look that Matt is so very used to.
Mello presses his lips to Matt's jaw line, and trails kisses up and down, up and down, up and down. His warm breath on Matt's face sends tingles down the redhead's spine.
Matt knows that Mello is teasing him, and, for once, he doesn't mind.
Matt buries his face into Mello's silky blonde hair, and inhales, breathing in the scent that is Mello; chocolate, leather and gunpowder.
And he smiles.
"Because I'm not in love with Near, am I?" Mello teases.
Matt sighs, and his heart sinks.
Because, of course, it would never have been that simple. Mello would never have chosen him, no questions asked.
Gently, Matt pushes himself away from Mello. He watches as Mello raises an eyebrow in slight amusement; a cocky expression on his handsome face.
It's another expression that Matt is so very used to.
"…No, Mels. I know that you're not in love with Near. That's not what I'm asking you. I want you to choose between loving me, and beating Near."
Mello is silent, and Matt gulps.
Mello is at his most terrifying when he is silent; it's the calm before the ferocious, unforgiving storm. It always is.
But then, slowly, Mello opens his mouth.
"Beating Near? Loving you? They're completely fucking different!" he exclaims angrily. "Are you serious?" he demands.
"Yes." Matt says quietly.
"Fuck you. You want me to choose between my love life, and my job? You don't want me to capture Kira? Is that what you want, Matty?" He fires the questions at Matt like he would fire a gun. "It's evil, Matt, to let a murderer run free. I would have thought that even you would have known that." Mello's voice is now harsh and unforgiving.
Matt rolls his eyes behind his goggles, hoping that Mello won't notice.
That is another thing that he hates about Mello.
How he can turn any situation around to make himself seem like the greater person; the person who's 'right'. How he can completely distort the words Matt speaks, and make them sound wrong and dirty and ugly.
"That's not what I said." Matt says calmly. He closes his eyes for the briefest second, his patience wearing thin.
"That's what you fuckin' meant!" Mello yells.
Great. He's started yelling.
Mello is impossible once he starts yelling.
"No, it's not!" Matt can't help but to raise his voice too. It's the only way to get his point across. "I didn't mean it like that! I don't want Kira to run free! I just…" he trails off, and shrugs helplessly.
"What did you mean then, huh? Why are you forcing me to choose?" Mello yells, glaring at the striped man in front of him. "If you really loved me, then you wouldn't force me to fucking choose!"
There he goes again, twisting my words and intentions into something they're not.
"Look, Mels, I'm sick of being someone in the background of your life, okay? I'm always there when you need me, but when I need you, you don't have time. You're always 'too busy'. Ever since you started working on this stupid Kira case – since you started trying to beat Near – it seems like you've forgotten me. And it hurts, Mello. More than you can imagine."
"Oh, for God's sake, Matt, toughen the fuck up!" Mello rolls his eyes.
They're smouldering like liquid fire; it almost hurts to look at them. They're burning, burning, burning. They're painful. They're beautiful.
"You're so bloody whiny; it's so annoy-"
"Can you remember the last time we had sex?" Matt interrupts.
Mello pauses, his mouth open. He then closes it slowly, and narrows his eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about? We had sex last night, for Christ's sake. You're so stupid, Matt."
Matt nods his head; choosing to ignore the unnecessary insult. He then raises a dark eyebrow. "Right. And how long did it last?"
Mello scowls, his face scrunching up with infuriation.
It doesn't surprise Matt that, even when Mello's face is scrunched up with rage, he still looks beautiful. That even though his dark blue eyes are filled with loathing and hurt, Matt can't help but melt into them.
His eyes still take Matt's breath away, like they did all those years ago. Because Matt's memories haven't faded, they've only brightened and glowed.
Bittersweet nostalgia.
Mello is silent. His dark pink lips have formed the smallest pout.
"Can't remember, huh?" Matt asks sharply. "I'll tell you, then. It lasted five minutes."
Mello sighs in irritation, and runs a hand through his dark blonde hair. "You told me that you liked it hard and fast. Remember?"
Of course I remember.
Matt shakes his head, annoyed. "Don't go and turn this around and make me seem like the bad guy; the one at fault. You're the one being a bitch here."
Before he can avoid it, Mello's fist connects with his face.
The rings on Mello's fingers cut into Matt's flesh, leaving behind bleeding cuts. Matt's cheek throbs, and feels raw and instantly bruised.
"Don't you dare call me a bitch." Mello snarls. "You jerk."
And in that moment, Matt wants to cry, even though he hasn't shed tears since he was a child.
Mello's never hit him before.
Matt takes a few steps backwards, raises a shaking hand to rub his aching face, and looks Mello straight in the eye. "For God's sake! Do I mean that little to you, Mels? Do you think that you can treat me like crap when you're frustrated? Because you can't, alright? I'm so fucking sick of it."
In an instant, Mello's lithe arms are around Matt's slim waist, his face buried into Matt's well-toned chest.
"Oh God. I'm so, so sorry, Matty. I'm not sure what came over me." Mello says, his voice muffled by the soft fabric of Matt's shirt.
No. You never do.
He pulls away from his boyfriend's chest slightly, and winces at the sight of Matt's red, swollen skin. Gently, he holds his hand up to stroke it soothingly; rubbing small, calm circles in the tender skin.
"I hope I haven't hurt you too much." His voice is dripping with sorrow and guilt, and, for a second, Matt thinks that everything will be okay.
But then he remembers. The stabbing, piercing pain in his chest reminds him. Because as stupidly sappy as it sounds, Matt is pretty sure that he can feel his heart breaking; crumbling into a million tiny pieces.
Near's absolute brilliance is driving a wedge between himself and Mello, and all Matt wants is for it to stop.
And in that instance, Matt hates Near from the bottom of his heart. He hates Near for being 'Number One', for being smarter than Mello. Because as cruel and as unfair as it sounds, Matt hates Near for winning against Mello all those years ago.
So Matt sighs, not knowing what to say.
He's used to Mello's mood swings - of course he is – but it still scares him how his lover can be ecstatic, depressed, furious, and remorseful all in the space of a mere ten minutes. But just because he's gotten used to the horrible moods, doesn't mean that he has accepted them.
So, instead of speaking, he takes a few steps backwards, therefore breaking the hug, and causing Mello's arms to drop and hang limply by his side.
"Look, I'm going outside. I'll be back in an hour or so. Please have made your decision by then." Matt says firmly.
As he shuts the door, the sound of Mello screeching in rage and the sound of shattering glass rings throughout the hallway of the apartment complex.
And, as Matt walks out of the apartment, he hopes with all his might that Mello will choose him over Near.
Because Matt loves him more than anything in the world.