Disclaimer: I don't own it or profit from it.
So this is kinda the flip side of the coin for 'Team Spirit'… I had to redeem Bones
Captain Kirk and Commander Spock exited the turbo lift onto the bridge of the USS Enterprise as they did every morning: together, in step and ready for action. The rest of the Alpha shift was already in position and making adjustments as needed for the new course to bring them to their month long patrol of the Romulan Neutral Zone. With a brief nod between them, Jim and Spock turned to take their posts. They had been delayed by an urgent message from Admiralty, that after several attempts, Uhura had informed them the link had been lost, but Command would contact them again when interference had lessened. While it was strange for Uhura to admit defeat that easily, Jim had brushed it off as some devious plot by the universe to further distort his plans.
Jim took his seat, Rand immediately handing him PADDs with reports from the various departments. She had learned to read them before hand and give the Captain an abbreviated version that only included the vital information. Signing them off, nodding absent-mindedly at whatever she was telling him, Jim handed the PADDs back with a smile. Her mouth was still moving, something about schedule changes, but his eyes had fallen to her black tee-shirt with the words "Team Spirk" written in white letters across her chest. Bringing his eyes back up to her face, Jim blinked and looked again only to find that he had not imagined her shirt or the statement.
Clearing his throat, stopping her incessant rant, Jim fought his blush. "Yeomen, I would expect you to have a good reason for defiling dress code." He finished mentally 'and embarrassing your captain.'
Smirking, Rand nodded. "Yes sir, as you approved last week, the bridge crew can wear any shirt or top today. It was to help improve crew morale." She paused, frowning slightly teasing. "Do you not like my choice?" She batted her eyelashes.
Grinding his teeth and sitting up straight in his chair, Jim glared at her. "You are dismissed." He flexed his jaw and pinched the bridge of his nose.
During a shore leave several months ago on a moon of the Deltan home world, someone, who still remained anonymous and had no doubt been drunk, had coined the term 'Spirk' when speaking of Spock and Kirk, because they were always together. A few days later, it became 'Team Spirk' as an underground movement to end the 'sexual tension' between the two commanding officers. Jim's only hope was that Spock would see the entire episode as illogical and ignore the whole thing, but he was left on pins and needles because if he were honest with himself, he was for 'Team Spirk' as well.
Forcing himself from his thoughts, Jim began to search the rest of the crew for their choices. Pavel's back was to him, but he was in a black tee-shirt as well, but his had writing on the back and it said 'Simple Mathematics: Jim + Spock = Infinity and Beyond, Always'. Jim paled but said nothing and was thankful that Pavel did not turn to face him. His eyes moving over to Hikaru's shirt before he could stop himself, and just like his helms partner, Hikaru was wearing a black tee. His shirt read 'I Survived the Clash of the Sexually Frustrated Lovers - Jim and Spock 2258'.
Slumping in his chair, Jim covered his face with his hand. He was at a loss, if he told the crew to remove their shirts, they'd be on to him, but if he chose to ignore them, he ran the risk of having Spock think he wasn't interested. Did every Star Fleet Captain have this problem?
The turbo lift opened, letting Bones enter the bridge, but instead of stopping at his normal spot beside Jim he kept walking towards Pavel. Scotty had also joined the good doctor on his trip, but he had taken a spot beside Nyota. Taking a relaxing breath, because there was no way Bones would be part of this foolishness, Jim sat up straight again and let his eyes fall to his best friend's back. Only, in horror he realized that Bones had betrayed him. There written on his back in letters larger than the rest stated his opinion 'I am a Doctor, not an Idiot. Stop with the Eye Sex!'
Jim's heart was pounding in his ears. Whirling around, he saw Nyota. Her prim black tee was tucked into her black skirt advertising her message. It stated 'I Gave Up the Hottest Vulcan for Jim Kirk.' Had Jim not been so panicked, he might have been touched, but his mind was racing. Turning to the last person he could trust, he came to Scotty. And there on his back was Jim's answer, 'Jim and Spock Make This Ship Exciting.'
Jumping up from his chair, Jim had no idea what to do. "What is going on?" That was a very neutral question, which forced all his closest friends to look at him.
Spock, who had came to stand beside the blonde, answered. "I believe, Captain," he paused letting Jim recover from his surprise, he did not know Spock had left his station. "The crew has taken it upon themselves to broadcast their viewpoints on our supposed relationship." He raised an eyebrow and would have looked completely unaffected if it had not been for the matching green flush on his cheeks and ears.
Bones smiled, he was quite pleased with how well this plan was unfolding. "Aw, Jim, we are just trying to help our best friends." He smiled innocently before continuing with a rougher edge. "Because we can't take the sexual tension any more! Jim, we all know that you like Spock. Spock, we all know that you like Jim. Now the mission we are on will require our senses to be alert for any signs of danger, not to be clogged by the mixed signals you are sending each other!" He stepped closer to the two men, who were both blushing now. "So, stop with the bullshit and take the rest of the shift off, Doctor's orders! Besides, Spock just practically said 'ravish me' in Elvish!" He crossed his arms daring them to argue.
With a nod, Jim and Spock shuffled off the bridge. They could not argue with Bones, neither one of them, because he was right. Inadvertently, if this whatever-the-emotion-was between them was affecting the crew, it was not acceptable. Taking the rest of the shift off to discuss their relationship and spend time in each other's presence was not distasteful to either party, especially if it meant improving the efficiency of the Enterprise. Still astonished by the turn of events, they did not making eye contact until the turbo lift closed. The remaining of the crew breathed a sigh of relief. "Worked like a charm." Bones laughed.
Hikaru and Pavel high fived each other, Janice and Nyota hugged each other squealing, and Scotty clapped Bones' on the back. "Well, now Bones, ye did sum good work." Scotty smiled. "But, I do believe ye will suffer the same fate, if ye don't go and tell that pretty Nurse Chapel how ye feel." He Scotsman winked. Turning white as a medical sheet, Bones gulped. Without a word, he left the bridge, laughter from the rest echoing after him.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
Reviewers get their own Team Spirk e-shirt!