No, this is not a figment of your imagination, this is really me returning on your computer screens after seven long months! My usual fleeting Muse took a vacation longer than expected, but apparently the epicness of the past few episodes finally brought it back!
Spoilers until the finale. This is my take on the missing scene. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about :) I know, this has been done a LOT lately, but still, Muse couldn't resist and neither could I.
I really hope you'll enjoy it!
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The Chance in the Change
She was finally asleep, Booth could tell that for sure.
For what seemed like and probably were hours she went from quiet crying to sobbing that shook her whole body as she let all her defenses down with a crumbling noise. She let him hold her. Not only that, she asked him to hold her. And he did, he held her tight as he tried to comfort her, but mostly he was just being there for her when she really needed it. He gently stroke her back and her hair as her head rested on his shoulder and her left hand balled on his shirt over his heart. Her breathing slowed down at last and settled in a regular pattern. He knew she was asleep. The problem was that he was nowhere near that peaceful bliss.
Too many thoughts were chasing themselves in his head. Thoughts, emotions, feelings of guilt, relief, fear and much more were about to overpower him. Too many things had happened, too many things that he had to deal with. The tragedy that had just struck, the thought of the poor British prodigy boy that took that fatal bullet meant for him. The thought of his partner's grief for once again losing one of her own, another one she had strongly grown to care about, although to a different cause. But more than anything he wished he could stop it, stop the pain, the grief, just make it better.
And then there were themselves, and all of the recent changes. Did he really want to go down that road again? Scratch that, he knew that he wanted to, that he would always want to, no matter how much he told himself the opposite. The real question was: was he ready to try again? Was she ready to accept him this time? Because one thing was certain, his heart would not survive another rejection, not again.
But, if that fateful rainy night in his car had any meaning… I made a mistake, she had cried, and his heart had physically ached. He would have given anything to stop the car, pull her to him and hold her and kiss it all better. But he didn't, he couldn't. Not yet. Now he looked down at his sleeping Bones in his arms and he tightened his hold on her, as if he could make up for all the times he didn't and couldn't do it. She sighed and he softened his grip again, afraid to wake her from her blissful sleep. He swallowed and thought back at that night. I lost my chance, she had sobbed crushing his heart and, as a relaxed smile appeared on his partner's face, he knew.
"You didn't lose it, Bones" he whispered as he softly brushed her cheek.
The words were out of his mouth and his fingertip was on her skin before he could stop them or even realize what he was doing. Her breathing changed, she stirred and he felt like kicking himself for waking her. When her eyelids started to move and watery blue eyes opened up to him, he was mesmerized as the quick and unexpected thought of what her waking up by his side meant made his way through his already crowded mind. After a moment of confusion she focused on him and met his eyes.
"You didn't sleep" It wasn't a question.
He shook his head "I can't. I keep thinking too much."
"Usually it's me who does that." she raised a smile as he chuckled darkly. "You're still here" she stated after a few seconds, almost surprised.
"I told you, Bones, I'm here for you. Whenever you need me" he said, gently stroking her hair.
She closed her eyes again and swallowed the painful lump in her throat. He's here. He didn't die. He's still here.
"I do need you" she whispered, for once choosing honesty over pride and self-preservation.
His breath hitched in shock. He did not expect that answer. His next words were automatic.
"Me too" he smiled looking down at her.
She snuggled closer to his body and he instinctively curled even more around her, their feet intertwining under the bed sheets.
"Are you ok, Bones?" he murmured, resting his lips on her hair and taking in her scent.
"I'm f– " she started but suddenly stopped, reconsidering.
"Bones?" he asked concerned.
"I'll be ok." she sighed after another moment of silence. "I'm strong enough, Booth, I'll be ok."
"You will, Bones, of course you will" he reassured her, softly kissing her hair almost without realizing it.
Brennan swallowed nervously as she looked back up into his eyes "I'm strong, Booth" she quietly repeated "I'm strong enough."
He saw something in her eyes, something he couldn't identify. When did he get that bad at reading her? "I know, Bones, I know. I heard – "
And suddenly everything made sense. Suddenly he could understand her words. Suddenly he could identify the emotion in her eyes. Bones, his Bones, never failed to amaze him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her waiting, nervous, tense expression. He gently cupped her cheek and smiled.
"And I'm not angry anymore."
The bright smile that lit up her face seemed to shine in the dark room and it was without a doubt the most beautiful thing Booth had ever seen and he couldn't help but mirror it himself. They both lost count of how much time had passed as they just looked in each other's eyes, smiling and savoring the moment when they almost wordlessly decided that everything was changing. And they couldn't wait for it. Quite literally, as Booth finally leaned down at the same moment when Brennan leaned up. The met in the middle. This time no one pulled away. Not for a very, very long time.
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The first sunlight of a new morning started to filter through the window blinds and a couple tangled in each other's arms was reveling in the aftermath of breaking all the known and unknown laws of physics.
"Look, the sun is still rising east" the man noticed.
"Of course it is, Booth" the woman said sternly "You couldn't actually expect anything diff – " she couldn't finish her sentence because the man cut her off with a deep kiss, that lasted a significant amount of time.
"You were saying?" Booth asked using his full renewed charm smile when they parted out of breath.
She shot him a look, still slightly in shock "Don't you try to get used to doing that!"
"You have no idea how long I wished to do just that, I really had to try it since now I can!" he smiled proudly.
His words registered in her brain and she blushed, looking down at their conjoined hands on his warm bare chest.
"Hey" he whispered, using his free hand to raise her chin "It's ok, one step at the time, no rushing into talks and things and thoughts" he smiled "Let's just take it easy, we'll get there."
She swallowed and nodded, leaning up to kiss him lightly.
"What didn't I lose?" she asked quietly.
"What?"
"When I woke up… you were saying that I didn't lose it. What was it?" she asked again.
He sank into her eyes and this time he immediately found hope, love and a little bit of fear. He needed to make that bit disappear right away.
"Your chance. You didn't lose your chance" he smiled and he observed as she recognized her own words from many months before.
She was blinking quickly in order to avoid the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes when she understood the true meaning of his words and miserably failing. Suddenly both of her hands flew on the sides of his face and she reached for him, kissing him with all she had, all the passion, the love, the overwhelming emotions she was feeling, still not believing that she just got all that she ever wanted, that it was real. And that it was all reciprocated.
As she slowly pulled away to catch her breath her eyes couldn't leave his.
"Do you.." she whispered "Do you love me?"
Tears sprang to his eyes at the sweet vulnerability he could hear in her tone.
"Yes. Yes, I do, Bones. Always." he said confident and his hand threaded in her hair as she smiled and tears of relief appeared in her own eyes.
"You know I do too, right?" she murmured, eyes locked in his and quite unable to find further words in the emotional hurricane going on in her mind… no, in her heart.
"Yes" he nodded and reached up to meet her lips in a deep and passionate kiss.
"It's all changed, hasn't it?" she panted against his lips.
"Yes and no, Bones" he murmured as he looked up at her "We're still us and nothing is going to change that. But yes," he stopped and with his thumb he traced her delicate features "some things are changed if we want them to"
"I do" she smiled as she leaned down again, their noses touching.
"I do too" he confirmed as he caught her lips again rolling them over.
And things changed. Although until a few weeks later they didn't realize just how much. And they were all in.
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I'll just have to keep the Muse on the leash, right?
Come on, tell me what you think! Even constructive criticism is a gift, as it helps me get better.