A/N: Warning: Maybe a bit OC on some parts I hope you enjoy reading! Forgive the grammatical errors. This was originally a story for my friend but I thought why not make it a fanfic? So here it is 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis... If I do, I probably won't be here =)
~A_Mistake_Worth_Committing~
"What the hell! What have I've done? Why did I do that? What pushed me into doing it?"
All these things circulated my mind while I was running. Running away from the person confusing me. Confusing my whole being. Running away from him.
I don't know how long I've run but when I decided to stop, I was perspiring senseless and I found myself catching my breath. I sat on the nearest bench that I could find. I looked up at the sky and the only sound that I could hear was the fast beating of my heart. How I wish I could blame running for it, but I know that it was not the sole reason why my heart is like this. I closed my eyes feeling my entire body heat up. I guess I'm not suited for running. Humor. Yes, I have to humor myself. To forget that event, his face, his hurt. And here I am again remembering it all, every detail. How ironic. The more I want to forget, the more it comes back more vivid each time.
As I felt myself dozing off, I heard my name being called and footsteps heading my way. I opened my eyes fighting the desire to just sleep. The last thing I saw was the pair of golden orbs that I couldn't remove off my mind. Then I drifted off to oblivion.
I was awakened by the continuous tapping on my shoulder. I let out a grunt of dismay for the cutting of my rest. I was still hesitant to wake up, that is until I heard his voice then I became aware of our position. "Hey, Momo-senpai, wake up. We still have club practice", he said in a forced "normal" way. The sound seemed so near and it really was. I was leaning on his shoulder! Out of instincts, I looked at the owner of the voice which turned out to be a bad decision on my part. There I was one breath away from his lips. Our eyes connected, occasionally looking at the temptation in front of us. I felt myself leaning closer until it dawned unto me. This is wrong! He's a guy very much like myself. I was the one who cut the contact. I hurriedly stood up. "What time is it?" I asked. "Nearing 3", was his reply. Judging from the color of the sky I think that's about right. "Let's get going then." I almost stuttered. He just followed silently.
The walk towards the tennis court was just awkward. There was a very uncomfortable silence in the air and I have to say that I am at fault for it. I know that he's trying to strike a conversation but I am the one who's not allowing it. After all, I cannot easily forget what happened this morning. His words are still ringing in my ears. I don't know whether to be happy or not. Am I taking things with such a close mind?
I got out of my trance when Tezuka-buchou called my attention. I was surprised, really. I didn't know that we were practicing already. "Are you feeling okay? You look pale." said by our ever mother-hen Oishi-senpai. "I... think I am", I replied. I got worried glances from my co-members especially from him. "I think you should stay at the bench first until you feel better." That wasn't a suggestion, it was an order and I have no say or whatnot.
I feel really tired despite the fact that we had no classes today. I took one last glance at all of them... at him. He was looking at my direction but immediately averted his eyes back to the front once he noticed that I was looking. I closed my eyes and welcomed sleep who was knocking profusely since long ago.
~A_Mistake_Worth_Committing~
"Do you get this? Haha. This is crap"
What's that? Is that my voice? Why do if feel like I've said that before?
"It's easy once you know the formula."
It's him.
I slowly opened my eyes. The place is very familiar. I'm in his room. I know that I'm standing by the door but what I do not understand is why I'm seeing what happened this morning: the two of us studying together, which is weird since I'm a year ahead. But he's smart and great at teaching which is very surprising. Laughing together. He looks... happy. Unlike his expressions now. I felt a sting of pain in my heart.
"I'll just go the bathroom." I excused myself
"Ok", he said with a tired smile. I know he's very sleepy for he had not enough sleep the night before.
I returned after a few minutes. I slowly walked towards his sleeping figure. I know what I was thinking and feeling that time. I ran my hands through his hair. How unexpectedly smooth it was. I noticed how plump his mouth is and how long his eyelashes are. I let my fingertips get a feel of his skin. How soft.
There's just something about him that attracts me so.
I watch in horror as I shorten the distance between our faces. I wanted to shout stop or simply wake him up but I know fully well that this is just me remembering if not dreaming about this event.
I know that I was hesitating, to make that move; that mistake of putting my feelings into actions but I just couldn't stop myself then and there. I closed the space between our lips. How warm. This sinful act of mine... I'm ready to keep secret; something that is only for me to know and remember. That is until I felt him respond. I opened my eyes not believing what was happening. I was feeling happiness and a lot of contradicting emotions at the same time. He stood up not breaking the contact. I put my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me, deepening the kiss. I slid my tongue into his mouth exploring his sweet cavern. I could hear him moan in pleasure as I felt every inch of his mouth.
Then I felt it.
I became aroused.
It brought me back to my senses. I pushed him away, both of us panting hard at the sudden make-out session. "I-uh... I'm sorry" I started, looking anywhere but at him. "Why are you apologizing?", he replied with a voice almost inaudible. I could hear pain in his words. "I didn't mean to do this to yo-", "Stop!" He cut me off. "I don't want to hear any of this crap." I swear I could see tears welling up. "Do you honestly think that I would kiss you back if I felt nothing towards you? Are you dense? I love you Momo-senpai! How can you not understand that?" He exploded. His tears flowed as he was saying those words. "But-" "but what?!", I'm frightened. Frightened that whatever that will come out of my mouth would just add pain in his already wounded heart.
"This is... wrong."
Silence
"You're a guy, I'm a guy. Nothing can be made of it"
Silence
"I'm just really sorry Echizen."
"What about the kiss? Why did you kiss me? Wh-Why did you hold me in your arms?" His voice getting louder with each sentence.
"Does it mean nothing? Answer me senpai!"
"Spur of the moment!" I suddenly shouted. I can see the widening of his eyes. How the light that was once there turned dull. "Spur of the moment?" He repeated in a very pained way. "Yes. I just wanted to know how it feels to kiss a guy" I said in a very monotonous way. "And?" "Huh?" I uttered. "What did you feel? How does it feel to play with me? How-" "Disgusting." This cut off his train of words. Then I ran. Not even paying attention to his mother who seemed alarmed with all the shouting; to his cousin who just came home; to Karupin who is busy playing with Echizen's oyaji.
~A_Mistake_Worth_Committing~
"Momo!"
"Momo!"
"Wake up Momo!"
I was awakened by my co-members. Their eyes full of concern. I think I know why. It's because I'm panting and perspiring heavily.
"Are you okay?" Echizen said as he placed his right hand on my left shoulder. I immediately slapped his hand away and stood up. "I'm okay." I was able to say. I could see the pain and sadness playing in his eyes. "I- I need to get going. Karupin's waiting for me. Stay safe everyone" Echizen said with his normal monotonous voice. I know how much he's trying to act normal but I also noticed that he was shaking. I felt my conscience kicking in. He left without another word.
After a few minutes we decided to head home as well. They were talking about the incident a while ago. "It was really thanks to Ochibi. Don't forget to thank him by the way. If it weren't for him, no one would have noticed you fidgeting on the bench! He must really be concerned about you. Haha. Echizen was reprimanded by Tezuka for a few times for not concentrating." Kikumaru said animatedly. I just realized how wrong my move was a while ago. I owe him an apology and a thank you. That is if we ever talk with each other again.
Days had passed but I haven't heard from him, literally. We attend club practice every day but we never had a proper conversation. Not that I'm willing to talk to the lad. I know it's so stupid. I did that to him yet I was the one who had the audacity to be angry. I'm just really confused. Throughout that last conversation of ours I didn't mean any single bit of it aside from my apology. I didn't want to leave him hoping, when I'm all chaos inside. I didn't want to give him empty promises just because I can't get myself together. Maybe I have feelings for him, maybe not. But what my heart couldn't take is the possible loss of a great friend.
Today's one of those days that I just want to walk around school. I looked at my watch, it read 6:00. I still have an hour before my classes start. Just my luck, it suddenly rained. I ran to the nearest building in sight. I watched as other people ran for shelter. Some, expecting the downpour, simply brought out their umbrellas. The soccer players continued their practice play as though nothing happened.
I noticed a couple beside me. They suffered the same fate as I which is getting drenched by the cold raindrops. The guy put his jacket over the girl's shoulders and wiped dry her face using a towel he has on his bag. Many would deem this as "sweet", so did I. But it resembled a certain experience of mine, too similar for my liking.
The rain left as fast as it came and I continued my disrupted walk. I hate this; this feeling of remembering him wherever I go; remembering our moments together. Fuck. I'm acting like a love-stricken psycho. Getting tired of thinking and thinking, I made my way to the middle school building. But halfway towards my destination I saw something that stopped me off my tracks. There, at one of the trees near the building, is Echizen with Fuji-senpai. This is wrong on so many degrees. Echizen is not meant to be at school this early and there's no reason for senpai to be with him instead of being with the other third years. Echizen looked the way he normally does but Fuji-senpai has become so… touchy. He kept fixing Echizen's hair as though it was a huge mess but, I tell you, it wasn't. He even removed Echizen's cap and tried it on as if he never tried it before. After he returned his cap I decided to myself that I couldn't handle the situation any longer. So I walked past them not failing to notice how Echizen's head followed my movement. I swear that I saw him part his lips as though he wanted to say something but I just ignored it and headed to the library instead.
Every day… Every fucking day... For every fucking day that the gods made, why do they have to be together? I'm not jealous or anything. It's just; I put my word on it, that if Echizen ever sue Fuji-senpai for sexual harassment Echizen would be winning it with flying colors. Why does he even allow senpai to touch him? Does he not realize those eyes? Those hungry, insincere eyes? How dense can he be? Fuji-senpai's practically fawning over him for fuck's sake!
.
.
.
Why am I overreacting? Could it be that...?
I'm suddenly feeling exhausted.
~A_Mistake_Worth_Committing~
A/N: So... What do you think? Review please! Is it worth a second chapter?