Fragments of an Old thing called Love
One-Shot
Vixen-Virus
Rating: T
Genre: Romance.
Summary: He was supposed to be mine, but deep down, I knew he was hers. He always had been. InuXKag from Kikyo's POV.
Revision: December 14, 2009.
Fragments of an old thing called Love
I knew it would never last. I'm part of the un-dead, and he was tied to world of the living. His flesh was still warm, his heart still beat. A love between us was bound to die.
Our love would be nothing more then a memory that would soon fade in time.
My heart was in fragments, pieces so small, so broken; it was hard to piece it together. But his heart, his heart was whole, because he had found someone else to mend the scar I had caused. Though eh was confused with who he had chosen, I know who it was.
It was her.
The girl with the blue eyes at the strange clothing.
My reincarnation.
Kagome.
I'm tainted, dead, cold…I am a lot of things, yet I'm not, nor will I ever be, his. The living and the dead could not love. He deserves better. He deserves someone alive, someone who trusts him more then I did.
Someone who would never betray him like I did.
I curse myself for ever believing InuYasha would try to take the Shikon jewel from me. I should have had more faith in him. I should have loved him more. But I hadn't, and that had ended, not only our relationship, but my life.
I hate Naraku. For everything he's done, I hate that he was right, mostly. He knew the doubt I harboured in my heart, and he had used it to tear us apart. I've seen him try to find that doubt in Kagome's heart, and it doesn't exist.
And if it does, it's my fault.
She trusts him, but she knows that he loves me. And because of that, she can't help but harbour fear. Fear that he will leave her.
But he won't, will he?
No, not anymore. He may think that he's confused, but he knows that in his heart, Kagome will always reign.
Kagome understands him the way I never will. InuYasha and I had a tie of loneliness. We understood each other's pains. But Kagome understands more then that. She understands his hurt, his happiness, his dreams and goals. I only understood the bad, but she understands everything.
And I envy her for that.
She holds his heart, and she keeps it safe. She never falters and she never fears. Though many think she's just this weak little huiman girl, who needs InuYasha to protect her I understand that she's more.
She is, perhaps, the strongest person I have ever known.
She carries this weight on her shoulders, and she's just a girl from another time. She was thrust into this era with no understanding of demons and creatures yet here she is, fighting to save us. All the while denying her own heart.
She tries and tries to ignore her feelings but she can't. So instead she embraces them. She holds his heart and protects it. She's strong because she allows herself to, not only feel, but understand and protect love.
I may be his first love, but I will never be his true love, and as painful as it is to think about it, it soothes me. Because if I was his true love…my betrayal would be that much more horrible.
The woman I once was has left this world, I am only a copy; an imitation.
Kagome, though, is real. She feels and loves, she cries and hurts. Though we look the same, we aren't, in so many ways. While I guard my heart, she lets it free, knowing that she could get hurt but trusting in love anyways. She fights as hard as she can and she gives more then she is able to.
She's pure. She's innocent.
She's everything I'm not and I—
"Kikyo? Is that you?" I glanced from my position in the tree to see Kagome walking forward. She looked frightened, intimidated. My eyes narrowed immediately.
I don't hate her.
I just want to be her.
"Yes. What are you doing here?" I asked, looking back to the sky as she walked forward, taking a seat at the bottom of the tree. She sighed. I could feel the awkwardness and doubt radiating off of her.
She was read like a book.
"I had a fight with InuYasha…and I sort of ran off." She gave a sheepish grin, knowing she was stupid for running off in the middle of the night with Shikon shards. I didn't say anything as we sat there.
Two people that look so similar yet are nothing alike.
It was odd that my reincarnation is nothing like me, but maybe it was Kami giving my soul a second chance to right the wrongs that I had created during my life time.
We sat in silence until Kagome started singing. Her voice was soft, her words, slightly foreign to my ears but I could make out the words just barely.
"The two of us, smiling, meet here; every heart has a habit of receiving its dreams. Sadness has no effect on us, every heart gains happiness when it flies." She murmured her back against the tree trunk. I glanced down briefly.
"Who is this 'two of us' you're singing of?" I inquired, but I knew who it was. I knew from the way her blue eyes glazed over with complete trust as she sang.
"Hmm? Oh…well I guess it's me and InuYasha? I taught him that song a long time ago, so I guess that's who I'm talking about." She answered, a blush grazing her cheeks for having been caught singing out loud.
We were blanketed in silence again, the light of the moon shining down on us.
"Kagome. Do you love InuYasha." I meant to ask, but it had come out like a demand. My brown eyes glanced down to her blue ones and she held a look that spoke so many volumes of love and trust.
"Of course. With all my heart." She never hesitated. I felt my anger flaring as I looked down at this innocent girl who had the ability that I didn't.
To love unconditionally.
"Why do you say that without stuttering or even blushing?" She looked away for a moment, as if wondering why herself before she smiled softly.
"Because that would mean I was embarrassed. I'm not. I love him and I don't care who knows. I'll always love him." She said in a soft voice. With evey word she spoke, I felt myself growing weak. She loved without condition.
She loved without fear.
"So, you would give your life to be with him? Would you really be ale to stay by his side forever? Would you give him to someone else?" I couldn't help but feel angry at her. She was young, in so many ways…yet she was more wise then me.
"I would. I always would. I nearly lost my life in Kaguya's castle, and I would do it again. And I've already promised to stay by his side. I always keep my promises, especially to him." She answered. I remembered when she had nearly died form the arrow that Kaguya had shot back at her. I narrowed my eyes.
"You never answered my last question. Would you give him up?" I couldn't help but feel triumphant at this. I know she would think I was implying myself.
"I-I would. I would because I wouldn't stand in the way of his happiness." She answered with such a fierce determination, I felt my own will shake. Here she was, standing up against me, though I knew she feared me. Her eyes were watering and her lip was trembling.
She was trying not to cry.
"Don't cry. You'll seem weak." I told her bitterly. She narrowed her eyes at me.
"I am weak." She stated. I raised an eyebrow as she continued. "But my emotions are strong. InuYasha has made me stronger." I looked at her for a moment, not saying a word as I shook my head, before whispering,
"You've made him stronger too." She didn't' say anything as we settled back to our original positions; ignoring each other. The night dragged on and I was growing tired. I looked down to see Kagome just sitting there, murmuring her song again.
"The two of us, smiling, meet here; every heart has a habit of receiving its dreams--" She was cut off by another strong voice singing. I sat up slightly. It was InuYasha. Looking down I saw Kagome standing up, tears in her eyes as she heard his voice.
"InuYasha!" She rushed out. I could see the relief on her face.
"Kagome, keep singing!" He yelled back. He was closing distance now.
"Sadness has no effect on us, every heart gains happiness when it flies…" And then he was there in front of her. His dog ears twitched lightly, his silver hair swishing behind him as he looked at her with soft gold eyes. Reaching his clawed hand out for her to take, Kagome rushed into his arms instead.
He gave her a soft smile and rolled his eyes in mock irritation as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Next time you're going to be such a wench, make sure you tell me ahead of time where you run off to so I don't have to spend so much time finding you." He bit out. I could her Kagome laughing.
"Don't make me S-I-T you." He shut up immediately. I watched them with a twist and pull of my stomach as he just held her tightly.
I remembered when he had held me that way, too.
"Let's go back." He whispered and started moving. Kagome shook her head and tugged at his red hakama. She turned and faced me.
"You guys should talk." And within that one look, I could feel her heart breaking. Gold eyes found mine in surprise. Surprise that he hadn't noticed me first. I didn't say anything as Kagome started walking off.
"I'll just be over there…" She smiled gently and walked off, out of hearing distance.
I didn't say a word as InuYasha stood there. We both didn't have anything to say. But I did want to know.
"Do you love her?" He jumped slightly and rolled his eyes, his arms folding over his chest as he turned away.
"No way!" I shook my head with a small smile. In so many ways, he was still that insecure child, looking for a place to call home.
"Good bye…InuYasha." I whispered, gathering my soul gatherers. And for the first time in a long time, he hadn't tried to stop me. As I was carried by my soul gatherers, I looked down once, just once.
I saw InuYasha walking to Kagome, holding out his hand for her to take, and I knew what I had always known.
His heart belonged to her and mine were in fragments.
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A/N: Holy mother! I'm quick at revising these! Two in one day? Awesome! Haha, hope you guys enjoyed the revision!
Take care,
Vixen