SET AROUND SECRETS.
My Sam. Up for the Air Medal for her work in … something with satellites. I was proud of her, but … it wasn't her dream.She thought I didn't know her at all.
She was wrong.
She'd dreamed of being an astronaut since she started school. That was one of the main reasons she joined the Air Force, to get into the space program. And now she spent her time poking at satellites, analyzing readings. Yes … she'd always loved science, but her heart belonged out there.
I stood chatting to George when he suddenly looked up and beckoned someone over. I turned and saw her. God … she was beautiful. I sometimes forgot she was all grown up now.
Her eyes widened and I could see her lips form the word 'Dad'.
She came over to me and we hugged … a little awkwardly. Things had never been right between us since her mother died.
"I invited Jake myself, Captain," George said. "I thought you might enjoy the surprise."
"Really, sir. That's sweet," Sam replied.
"George and I served together back when the Air Force really was this country's first line of defense," I offered.
"It still is," Sam said a little defensively. As a woman in the Air Force, she tended to be on the receiving end of a lot of prejudice.
"Of course it is," I quickly placated her. "I was talking about when the Cold War was still … Uh … anyway, when George told me you were up for the Air Medal for your work in …" — I looked at George — "what the hell was that again? Um …". Why the hell couldn't I remember what she did exactly? What kind of father was I?
"Analysis of deep space radar telemetry," Sam replied coolly.
"Right," I said. I looked up as a tall Colonel strolled over to us with two glasses of punch.
"Sam?" he said, handing her a drink.
Sam?, I thought.
"Thank you, sir," Sam replied.
"Colonel Jack O'Neill, Jacob Carter."
"Carter?" O'Neill said, looking at Sam. "As in …?"
"As in my father, sir; yes."
"Get outta town. Sam's dad?" O'Neill grinned. "I've heard nothing about you, sir." Sam looked embarrassed as the Colonel and I shook hands. Looked relaxed and affable enough, but there was something … dangerous about him. Like a volcano hidden under a very thin layer of ice. Special Forces. Had to be.
"What's there to say about an old General waiting to retire?" I asked.
"Dad, I talk about you all the time," Sam said.
"I retired myself one time," O'Neill said lightly. That surprised me. He was a lot older than Sam, but was still pretty young. "Couldn't stay away."
What the hell did they do in that mountain? "From your analysis of deep space radar telemetry," I said sarcastically.
"Well, it's just so damn fascinating," O'Neill shot back.
"I'm sure it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be receiving the Air Medal."
"We have our moments. Um, will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain enough. I'm going to grab some air. Outside. General. Captain. General." He wandered away. "Waiter?"
"I guess I'll go make the rounds," George said and left.
I faced my daughter. "Just between us, your cover stories could use a little polish."
"Sorry, Dad, I don't know what you're talking about," Sam denied so quickly that I knew there was definitely more going on than met the eye.
I decided to humor her. "No, of course not, I'm out of line. But whatever it is you really analyze in that mountain, deep space or no deep space, it can't be as exciting as the real thing. I'm talking about getting you into NASA, Sam. I'm talking about you actually going to space some day."
Sam looked away and I wondered about the looks she and O'Neill had exchanged. Older than her, but good looking and very charismatic. Oh, poor Sam. Had my bright beautiful daughter somehow been coerced into an illicit affair with that man?
She deserved better than that. She deserved her dream. And she would achieve her dream before I die. She would.
After Sam, George and O'Neill were recalled back to their mountain, I went to my hotel and decided to call in some markers. I wanted to know more about this O'Neill character. Even if he and Sam weren't having an affair, I deserved to know more about the man entrusted with my daughter's life.
A two-star General, even one waiting to retire, has a lot of connections. I received O'Neill's files less than two hours after asking for them. Then I learned that he'd been scrubbed. The records merely stated his postings, along with a list of commendations as long as my arm. And an only marginally smaller list of reprimands. He'd served with Special Forces in some of the world's nastiest spots, and had endured four months as an Iraqi POW. The fact that he'd managed to return to active duty after that spoke volumes about him — must be one hardened SOB.
There was a small note in his file dated 1996 about his young son — the boy had died when he'd accidentally shot himself with the Colonel's personal gun. I breathed in quickly, finding myself feeling for the man. I was a father myself, after all. Several months after the boy's death, he returned from a highly classified mission — so classified only the Joint Chiefs knew about it — and retired.
Then he was reactivated a year later. And there the records ended.
So … that was Colonel John J. O'Neill. Special Forces, divorced, a hardened soldier. What the hell was he doing down in that mountain? And what the hell was my daughter involved in?
Whatever it was, it wasn't the space program. It wasn't her dream.
DURING THREADS.
I lay in the SGC's isolation ward. Selmak had lapsed into a coma while we were on Dakara, and I could feel myself weakening. Sam sat on a chair next to my bed, her face pale, her eyes red-rimmed.
"I can't believe there's nothing they can do," she said. "They can remove a Goa'uld. In the last few years you've almost perfected the process of saving a host."
"That process instantly kills the symbiote before it releases toxins," I told her. "It's too late for that, Sam. I'm sorry. I hate to do this to you, but I should have been dead four years ago. Since then, I've been all over the galaxy. I've done things most men never dream of."
"I've heard that before," Sam said.
My Sam. Traveled all over the galaxy — and beyond. She was a bona fide American hero. She worked damn hard for her country, for the planet. Sometimes too hard. I'd worried about her even after I'd realized that she and Jack O'Neill were merely colleagues — albeit close ones. She was content, she was satisfied, she was in control, but there was something … missing.
Even now, when she was engaged to that cop, and planning her wedding. Was it her dream?
"I just wanna know you're gonna be happy," I said. I owed her that.
"I am," Sam said.
I wasn't sure I believed her. I'd seen her with Pete — she'd been awkward and uncomfortable, and her relief at the end of the visit had been almost palpable. She'd escorted Pete out of the mountain, then had gone off to a meeting with O'Neill — now a Brigadier General and CO of the SGC, God help us all.
No; I wasn't giving the man enough credit. He was a strong, compassionate leader, who commanded the respect of everyone I'd met — except for the Goa'uld Ba'al. I sometimes forgot that the man's irreverent maverick attitude hid a shrewd intelligence.
I'd had the chance to work closely with both Jack and Sam over the last few years and though the Major General in me wasn't sure, the dad in me realized that these two were meant for each other.
Jack was damaged goods; I knew that. You couldn't go through what he'd gone through in his life and not be scarred. But I also knew that he was a good man who cared deeply for my daughter's welfare. Perhaps a little more than he should.
"Don't let rules stand in your way," I said.
Sam looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?" she asked. My bright beautiful daughter was not very smart when it came to her own feelings. She got that from me.
"You joined the Air Force because of me," I said.
"I love my job," Sam said.
"Mmm." I reached out and stroked her cheek. "You can still have everything you want," I replied.
"I do, Dad." I sighed; was she being deliberately obtuse? She took my hand again. "Really."
After this little non-conversation, Sam was called upstairs to deal with some crisis with the 'gate, and I settled back against the pillow to await the arrival of some of my fellow Tok'ra. Although Selmak and I were pretty much out of favor with the High Council these days, we still had friends.
I shook my head as I thought about my daughter. She had so much, yet she was denying her dream. I was sure Pete was a nice enough guy, but … it wasn't her dream.
As a couple of my friends chatted lightly with me, I noticed Jack come into the Obs room. He sat down next to Sam and looked down at me for a while. Then he turned to Sam, and they began chatting. Never had I wished for the ability to lip-read as much as I did now.
As they talked, Jack looked at her, then put an arm around her shoulder. She took his hand and snuggled into his shoulder, rubbing her thumb gently over his hand. I hated to admit it, but they looked really good together.
They spoke again, then Sam looked seriously at him before resting her head on his hand as she looked down at me.
I could feel myself begin to drift away, and spoke to my friend. "I'm ready," I said.
My friend clasped my shoulder, then glanced up to Sam as I closed my eyes. I was so tired. Then I felt Sam take my hand and kiss me on the forehead. I managed to force my eyes open and looked at my beautiful daughter. "I love you," I murmured, then closed my eyes. Be well, my Sammie. Be happy. Go for your dreams.
EPILOGUE.
Sam lay quietly, watching the bustle of activity around her. Even after three days, she was completely wiped. Amazing.
The door opened and Jack walked in. "How ya doin'?" he asked.
She smiled at him. "Still tired, but … really good," she replied.
He came and sat down next to her on the bed. Then he said, "C'mere" and put his arm round her shoulder.
She snuggled into his warm embrace, enjoying the 'Jack' moment. Soon enough, he would become Major General O'Neill once more. "You did good, Carter," he said.
She chuckled. "That's O'Neill," she reminded him. They'd been married for nearly eighteen months, for God's sake!
Jack dipped his unruly gray head and gave her a soft warm kiss. "Yes, ma'am," he replied lightly as their lips separated. "So … where is he?"
"Here, General," Doctor Lam said, pushing the bassinet over to Sam and Jack. She lifted the baby boy out and passed him over to Sam. "Are you ready to try feeding him?" she asked.
Sam nodded her head and lifted her tee shirt. Jack looked away for a second as if embarrassed, then turned back. "Uhh … is it okay if I … ya know … watch?" he said.
"Of course it is," Sam said. "He's your son too, you know." She leaned into her husband's embrace as their son quickly latched onto a nipple and began feeding with tiny grunts. "I don't tell you it enough," she said, "but I love you, Jack O'Neill."
"Love you too, Sam," Jack said, giving her another sweet kiss on the lips.
Sam closed her eyes and let the world drift around her. She had Jack and she now had a son — Jacob Charles O'Neill. This was her dream. Finally she understood what her dad had tried to tell her. "Thanks, Dad," she murmured as she felt sleep sweep over her. My dream; I have my dream.
