The mirror's glass reflects both all and none
Of what's a hero's face and what's beyond.
To craft a mask blazing like shining sun,
To fall to shattered shards of falsehoods spawned.

"Ultra!", they cry, as children fall to shreds
Beneath the glass wielded by heroes' might.
Hearts ripped by eyes staring back, filled with dread,
Gazes gouged by shadows at the mere sight

The birthing of nightmares from what she sees
The flaws, so weak, that cannot match his strength.
Chasing him to death's door, she will appease
Her hero's call, going to any length.

To reach the sky she knows she'll meet her end,
Or face that which will never be her friend.

Part 1: Nightmares

One hero, drenching her arms with his blood, dying. Another hero, screeching his lungs out toward the heavens, dying.

And she was powerless to save either of them.

She had watched, astonished, as Deku went at Overhaul with incredible speed and power. The shockwaves of his blows rippled through the air, blowing through her with every hit. The fury of their fight tore the land asunder. She could hardly comprehend the power he was channelling and his might looked almost impossible to match.

But the toll it took on him was great. As soon as the battle stopped, his wails started scratching against her eardrums. She rushed to subdue the fallen Overhaul — leaving Nighteye, on the brink of death, on his own for a moment — and to ensure her friend's efforts were not in vain. But as she looked up from the villain's unconscious body, she was horrified to see her best friend looking more pained than she had ever seen before.

Ochako stretched a hand outward in a futile attempt to help the screaming Deku — the rest of her body keeping the villain that had caused all of this chaos pinned down.

But as always, she was a step behind him. She couldn't reach him. Deku had saved the day and saved Eri, as well as countless other lives, and she could not even save him from himself.

She watched on in terror as the energy around Deku exploded, encompassing the area in a blinding light. When her vision returned, Deku's mangled body was still kneeling, but it had been burnt to a crisp. His skin was drenched in the deep red of his blood, his eyes washed out of any trace of life. His corpse slumped to the ground with a dull thud. The little girl on top of him, rolled over by the hero's side, safe by his sacrifice.

"No…" Ochako whispered as she stepped forward, no longer minding of the villain behind her. Her footsteps picked up speed as she desperately sprinted forward, her legs weighing her down like anchors.

But as soon as she got there to grab onto him, he slipped through her fingertips. His body collapsed into nothingness, blowing away in a gust of wind. She was left alone with nothing but his memory to cling onto.

As adrenaline pulsed through her, Ochako turned back to where she left Nighteye, hoping to salvage something, praying she could save someone on this day.

But Nighteye's face was planted in the dirt. His corpse, mangled and bloodied, lay motionless. She had left him when he needed help, trying to do more. She had failed.

Heartbroken, Ochako collapsed onto her knees. She wailed her anguish out into the broken suburb. Nobody answered her.

Ochako awoke in a state of shock, her arms flinging outward before falling down to clutch hard at her blankets. Her eyes darted rapidly around her, being met with the recognizable surroundings of her room, shrouded in darkness. Her breath ran fast as her mind tried to restart in the wake of the horrors she had just witnessed.

Realizing she had only been seized by a familiar, vivid nightmare, Ochako slowed her breathing to try to calm down. She ran through what had actually happened after Deku and Overhaul's fight, needing the comfort of reality.

It was just a bad dream. It didn't really happen. Izuku had lived through all that. He had been rescued in time. He was safe. They were alive.

But Nighteye wasn't.

Grimacing, Ochako let out a breath as she tried to focus on the positive thoughts centred on Deku. She brought her hand up to her eyes and felt the moisture of tears there. She groaned, rolling out of the bed in search of refreshment.

Ochako's body ached as she walked out into the dark hallway of the U.A. dorms and shambled into the washrooms. Her stomach churned in agitation as she trudged forward. Despite how awful she felt physically, she kept herself focused intensely on every ache and pain. It was far better than turning her thoughts back to her nightmare, or to the events that had caused it.

She blinked as she stepped into the bright glare of the common washroom, grumbling as the lights stung her eyes. She lurched toward the sink, almost falling as she grabbed onto the cold faucet and turned it. The hiss of water seemed far louder than usual, but she ignored it as she leaned down to splash it on her face.

The cold sent a wonderful shock through her system and she eagerly gave it a few more splashes as she tried to refresh herself. Groaning, she turned off the faucet and looked into the mirror at her own image.

She was there, somewhere beneath the surface. Same pink cheeks, same brown locks. Ochako Uraraka, the hero Uravity. Boundlessly positive, courageous, brave, powerful. An unflinching determination against the odds, just like him.

But her surface looked nothing like what she wanted. The bags around her eyes were deep and dark, standing out against her pale complexion. Her cheeks were stained with a mixture of sweat, tears and sink water. Her hair was dishevelled, and the corners of her mouth pulled down into a twisted grimace at sight of her own image.

Ochako sighed and splashed her face again. Every day, she tried to find a hero in that mirror. Every day, she felt like she failed somehow. She could not seem to match the speed of the intense, green-eyed image she was chasing after. Mumbling to herself, Ochako shut the faucet off and turned back towards the shadowy halls of the dorms.

That image she pursued — Deku, dauntless, with a fire in his eyes that could overcome anything — was becoming more and more muddied in her mind. After spending so long admiring him and his determination, she had become increasingly unsure about what to think of him.

After being occupied elsewhere almost every time Deku fought — and inevitably got himself badly injured — she got to witness it herself against Overhaul. The power Deku wielded was incredible, and his drive to save Eri, despite the odds being so against him, was nothing short of breathtaking.

It's part of what made her love...like him so much. She caught her own thoughts on the word and corrected herself. It was an accident. She was tired. It didn't mean anything.

Stumbling through the darkness of her simple room, Ochako flopped onto the bed and sighed into her soft pillow. The comfort it offered these days was next to nonexistent. She turned over and stared up at the ceiling, allowing the familiar scenes to play again in her mind, despite the terror it was creating in her nights.

Deku was an incredible hero, but his reckless abandon had become a source of confusion for her. She thought it was bad enough when he faced Todoroki at the sports festival, but his fight against Overhaul was thousands of times worse.

Watching Deku throw himself to the brink of death to fight the villain had terrified her, more than anything she had ever seen in her life. She thought her heart might stop every time the two clashed with power beyond anything her mind could hope to grasp.

But, as she had long since decided, she wouldn't let her feelings get in the way of her job. She had focused on trying to help Nighteye, getting him to safety as he clung to life in her fingertips, out of reach of her expertise. The second it seemed safe, rather than rush to help Deku like she wanted, she instead ran to secure the falling Overhaul, whom Deku had somehow managed to subdue. Despite her exhaustion, she had gritted her teeth and pinned the villain to ensure he could not escape.

In that moment, she had thought it was finally over. How wrong she was.

Her memory was picture perfect for what happened afterwards. Deku was screaming in agony while Eri's power surged around him. The world seemed to stop as she watched him shout to the heavens as if he were about to perish. What he had done to fight Overhaul had cost him dearly.

Her heart only slowed after Eraserhead managed to shut down both his and Eri's quirks. The whirlwind of the aftermath had kept them mostly apart — she only had time to embrace him quickly to feel the fact that he was still alive — before they were each pulled back to their respective duties.

Nighteye perished the same day. The news rocked her to her core and send her mind spiralling downward as she tried to grapple with it. She had him there, in her hands. She was so focused on Deku...if she had just gotten him out of there faster...could she have saved him? The uncertainty choked her. Deku had saved them all, and she had saved none.

That image of Deku, wailing into the wind, would not leave her mind. It had brought into focus the toll it took to be a hero. She wondered whether that was what it really took to be at the top and save lives — a complete disregard for one's own life and safety. It made her question if she would ever be willing to make the same kind of sacrifices Deku did.

She grumbled as she turned onto her side. She realized she was losing more of her needed sleep to this circling train of thought but she did not care. She could not help but fall into the same thought spiral that had plagued her for weeks.

Ochako wanted to believe being a hero could not be as risky as Deku made it out to be — at least, not always. Indeed, she had overheard Aizawa himself scold Deku for his recklessness.

The damage that recklessness could cause was very evident. She was well aware of the damage Deku had done to his arms through his many battles, which had forced him to change his style or risk permanent injury. If he kept doing what he was doing…

Ochako gulped as she turned her mind away from the thought of it.

She wanted to see Deku achieve his dreams. She knew he could, too. He even probably got closer to it by defeating Overhaul. Despite multiple scoldings, more than a few pro heroes sounded just as amazed by his power as she had been.

She wished she could just feel unabashedly happy about her best friend earning the accolades she knew he deserved.

But the screams in her nightmares wouldn't let her.

There was an uncomfortable quiet between Deku and her these days.

On the surface, she did her utmost to make sure it seemed like nothing was awry. She would greet him every day with the same bubbly cheer she always did. He would respond kindly, maybe a little nervous, but he maintained his usual, genuine friendliness.

But their time together was increasingly strained. They were both consumed by internships and an ever-increasing amount of homework. No matter what she did, there was no getting around the reality that they couldn't spend as much time with each other.

Not that she necessarily wanted to.

There was an uneasy dread hidden beneath the surface whenever she talked to him these days. Often, she might have a flashback to an image from her recurring nightmares when she saw him. It was uncomfortable and she found herself naturally wanting to be around him less as a result.

She also struggled to define the newfound feelings when she looked at him these days. The admiration and affection were still there, powerful and pinching at her heartstrings in a way that was as irritating as ever. But there was something else there now, something darker. She would peek at him from afar and find herself getting agitated. A mixture of sadness and anger that mixed deep inside her gut as she recalled how close he came to destroying himself. She wondered if resentment was really the right word, but it did not feel like it completely encompassed the feeling.

It all left her more tepid and unsure around him than ever before. There was a small wall that had grown between them now, one she did not have the time or energy to try to surmount. They both had their hero training to consider and she didn't need to rock the boat any further.

"Hey, Uraraka. Would you like to head out somewhere with Iida and me after class? My treat!" Izuku approached her after the final bell several weeks after the hideout raid, an earnest smile on his face. Iida hovered behind him, looking just as eager.

A pang of yearning rung against her heart at the question. It had been a couple of months since they had last hung out, just the three of them. Everything had gotten so complicated so quickly. A part of her desperately wanted to say yes.

"Sorry, I'm doing some paperwork for my internship tonight. Not sure how long it's going to take me," Ochako lied through her teeth, masking it with her usual upbeat attitude. She didn't have to fake her own crestfallen expression, however. "But go on, have a good time without me. Maybe next time."

"Oh shoot, sorry to hear that," Deku replied, looking just as morose as she felt. "We'll try and get you something while we're in town then."

"No need, no need!" Ochako waved it off, although she knew it would likely be fruitless to protest. Deku was quite aware of her frugality and often got her little snacks she would never buy for herself.

"Your sense of duty and responsibility are admirable," Iida interjected, stepping forward with his rather imposing frame. "It is regrettable that we can't convene this time, but your reasons are fair."

"Thanks, Iida," Ochako stated quickly, bashful under his kind assessment. "You guys go on and have fun."

Waving to them with a sunny grin on her face as they walked out of the room, Ochako felt guilt sink deep into her stomach. But she could not bring herself to go out with them. Not when she was still so mixed up around Deku. Not when she could sometimes hear his screams in the back of her mind.

She told herself it would be better this way. She didn't need to hang out with Deku anyway.

"Geez, Uraraka, you've been getting pretty banged up lately."

When her classmates first commented on it, she hadn't even realized it herself.

Hero class was tough. Scrapes and bruises were a natural part of it. If she messed up lifting a boulder or keeping herself afloat, there was an injury in store for her.

But that was fine. Her wounds always paled in comparison to his, anyway. Get it looked at, put a bandage on it, wince a little, grit your teeth and carry on. That's what Deku did, whenever he actually bothered to have his injuries treated.

Not everyone understood, however.

"This is your third visit this week young lady!" Recovery Girl scolded her before smooching her sprained wrist. "You need to be more careful."

"Sorry," Uraraka mumbled from her sitting position in the infirmary. Her head was already feeling light, but she tried to stay attentive. She had training to get to after school.

"I know you look up to that reckless boy," Recovery Girl went on as she started rummaging through the cupboards. The matron didn't need to clarify who she was talking about. "But don't pick up his bad habits!"

Ochako kept her eyes focused on her clasped hands. She could feel the callouses starting to form around her fingertips, rubbing irritatingly against each other.

But this was nothing. Nothing compared to what Deku did every day. Nothing compared to him running headfirst into certain death — and winning. She wouldn't pick up his worst habits. She couldn't if she tried to.

"I won't," Ochako mumbled low, lacking the energy to put spirit into her response. That was energy she had to save for others. For the people she refused to reveal her worst too. With Recovery Girl, there wasn't much helping that.

Ochako was left facing Recovery Girl's back, but could practically feel the old woman rolling her eyes. The nurse turned with a large band-aid, stepping forward to stick it roughly on Ochako's cheek. The bloodied gash that remained unhealed was completely hidden.

"I know being a hero is rough work," Recovery Girl sighed, reaching up with a withered hand to pinch her own temple. "But you won't be saving anyone if you're too broken to move. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've had to tell someone that."

Ochako nodded along to the woman's grumblings before being dismissed to get some bed rest. She agreed to the condition only to get out of the room. She had no intention of stopping her training regime.

A hero did not stop for anything.

"Umm...Uraraka? Could we...could we talk?"

She couldn't recall him being this nervous around her since their first week of school. Izuku darted his eyes around, not looking directly at her. His evident anxiety spurred it within her in turn.

"Of course, Deku! Is something wrong?" Ochako replied, smiling up at him with all the energy she could muster. Always work with a smile, no matter what the circumstance. Reassure the people around you. Never show your inner turmoil. Day in, day out. That, at least, was a part of heroism she had mastered.

"Yeah…" Deku mumbled as he scanned his eyes around the classroom. The two were left undisturbed as the other students started to file in. This was often the case, with the pair of them striking up regular conservations before classes.

Or at least that had been the way it used to be, before the hideout raid. She knew they didn't talk as much as they used to. It was an uneasy peace she was unwilling to disturb.

Regardless, it was unsettling to Ochako to see that Deku's eyes, their brows creased deeply with worry, never stopped looking around to ensure they weren't overheard.

He leaned down closer to her desk, bringing his hand up to his cheek to indicate a whisper. Ochako leaned in, eager to understand his peculiar behaviour.

"Can we talk after class? In private? It's something important," Deku asked, looking at her with his timid eyes. Ochako frowned, mind buzzing at the peculiar request and his continued nervousness. Her heart, on the other hand, felt like it skipped a beat in elation, but she slammed that feeling down with a hard shove.

Apart of her was inclined to brush him off again and avoid the mysterious request. But his pleading eyes wavered her resolve and she found herself unable to think of an excuse.

"Alright," Ochako replied, nodding. "But why-"

"I'll explain later," Deku responded, cutting her off, before lifting himself up with a smile. He turned quickly to strike up a dialogue with Iida, leaving her in the conversational dust.

She blinked a few times as she tried to adjust her vision to his sudden disappearance. That was...baffling, to say the least. She turned a glance toward Deku, who now looked completely normal talking to Iida about their upcoming classes. Although she noticed the sweat around his brow as a remnant of their own brief dialogue.

Ochako sighed, left scratching her head at Deku once more. She supposed she would just have to be patient.

"Sooo, what did your boyfriend have to say to you?" The chipper voice of Mina sounded from behind her.

She groaned at the teasing. Having patience for an entire day was going to be difficult.

Ochako had always been drawn to Deku's eyes. The way they lit up and sparkled when he chattered excitedly about other heroes. The way they looked so tightly focused when he was trying to analyze something. The determination and fire in them, burning with the power of an inferno, when he leapt into action.

But the eyes he showed her now were different. Nervous, still darting around her, never starting at her directly. They told her she was something he couldn't face, something that unnerved him, despite how unwavering he could be when he put his mind to it. The longer this routine wore on, the more anxious she became. She started to twiddle her fingers, mindful to avoid triggering her quirk inadvertently.

Deku was hard to look at this way. She found his nerves rubbing off on her, and she looked down to focus on the floor tiling. The abandoned hallway magnified their silence, the lonely long halls suddenly feeling foreboding. The wall that had grown between them felt massive, looming over her with its intimidating scale. She wasn't eager to try to float over it, frightened by what she might see.

"Are you...mad at me?" Deku finally broke the silence, his quiet voice remaining neutral despite his fearful eyes.

Ochako looked up and blinked at the question. She felt a lot of things about Deku. She was confused and lost when it came to him, especially after Eri's rescue. But anger? That...that didn't seem right when he said it. Or did it?

"No...no I'm not," Ochako replied, repeating the phrase to reaffirm it for herself. "I"m not mad at you, Deku."

"Then why…" Izuku's voice broke a bit, losing his neutrality. His fear came through more clearly, raising alarms in Ochako's mind. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

The air seemed to still as Ochako considered the question. Her mind churned rapidly as she considered what had caused him to confront her. She had been trying to talk to him less but she thought she had disguised that behind their schedules.

"I...I'm not sure what you mean, Deku," Ochako replied, trying her best to maintain a clueless facade.

"You've hardly said a word to me since we rescued Eri," Deku spoke with a misery that made Ochako's heartache. "Did I...did I do something wrong? If I did, just let me know and I'll try to make it up to you-"

"You didn't…." Ochako replied, managing to look up at him. He so unsure of himself, something she had not seen from him in months. She gulped at the distress this seemed to be causing him.

"I've just been...a little out of it lately, I guess," Ochako said softly. She managed an empty smile and made her best effort to beam at him. It didn't even get the slightest of reactions. "We've both been working really hard in class and with internships and everything else. It's just been really hectic, is all."

She scratched the back of her head nonchalantly, hoping he bought the flimsy excuse. She had tried to make her voice steady, despite how wobbly her legs felt. But Deku's stony expression told her everything she needed to know.

"Uraraka...you...is that really it? We didn't...we talked to each other before despite all of that…" Deku stumbled through the dialogue. Uraraka frowned, perturbed by his lack of confidence in this moment.

"I know…" Deku stopped his speech, tentative in his words. But he took a deep breath and finished his statement. "You've been really distant. I'm not the only one who's noticed. What's...what's really bothering you? I promise I'll do whatever I can to make it-"

"I'm fine, Deku," Ochako interjected, smile wavering under his analytical stare. She struggled to reign her feelings in. Why couldn't he just drop the issue? "It's just been exhausting for me and I've been having trouble sleeping."

But his eyes pierced through her, unrelenting in their intensity. Evidently, her rebuttals had got him fired up. She hid her own eyes in the bangs of her hair, no longer able to meet his eyes. She searched her mind desperately for a way to escape this.

Maybe if she-

"I've seen you do this before." His voice punctured her thoughts, blasting through her formulating escape plans.

"What?" she asked, startled and unable to find better wording.

"Back at the sports festival. You were upset but you didn't want to show it. Back then, I didn't think there was anything I could do." His explanation cut right through her, sending her mind reeling backwards in a panic. Her breathing picked up as she tried feebly to find a way out of this.

"Deku, I don't know-"

"I want to be there for you, Uraraka," Deku stated earnestly, regarding her with the kind smile she loved. "As your...your friend, I want to be there to help you."

He took a step forward and she reacted instinctively with a step back. She could not handle this. She could not handle him staring straight through her, ripping off her mask and trying to get her to bare her heart. She was not ready for this kind of conversation with him.

"Will you let tell me what's really wrong, Uraraka?" Deku pleaded with her gently, eyes beseeching a response from her. He was too kind, too good to her. Far too perceptive, too. For both their sakes.

"I can't, Deku," she replied, refusing to meet his glance.

She really couldn't. She could not handle him looking at her that way. Her throat choked up and her eyes started to water as he did. She could not handle him trying to talk her through this. Her head spinning, she turned around and prepared to leave him.

"Wait!" his shout managed to stop her tracks. For some reason, the power in his voice made her flashback to her nightmares, reminding her of the yells she heard from him each night. It made her feel all the worse.

"I...please, Uraraka, I…"

That did it. She could hear the misery in his voice. She sobbed and she hated it.

"You almost died, Deku," Ochako whispered. She heard him take a startled step. "And Nighteye..it's just...I've been a little lost since then."

"Lost…?" Deku muttered. Their quiet exchange made the silence hanging in the hallway heavy overtop of them. Every word was a struggle to get out. Ochako tried not to let that show in her voice.

"You're….you're incredible, Deku. Anyone can see that. And I want to keep up with you. I...I want that a lot," Ochako recited, stopping herself from saying something more embarrassing — like what he really meant to her.

"But you...you almost threw your life away there. You had to, to beat Overhaul. And I've had to really think about that. Is that what it takes to be a hero? Is that what I would have to do to be one? To save people?"

"Uraraka, I…" Deku weakly tried to interject. But, in the throes of a chaotic mixture of frustration and misery, she refused to let him.

"You made me wonder if that was something I could do. And...and the thing is…" she sniffled and breathed, trying to contain herself. "I thought about my parents and how much they're counting on me. And all the friends I've made here. And...and I don't think I can. I can't do what you do Deku. I'm not willing to do anything to save someone like you are."

She let the words hang in the air for a moment. She felt the urge to lean on something or lie down, but she focused on keeping her legs steady.

"Uraraka...you don't...you shouldn't…" His words stumbled, lost in the maze of emotions she had erected around them. She could barely navigate them herself.

"If it gets to that point...with my life on the line, I feel like I might run away. That might destroy me later, but I wonder if I could find a way to live with it."

She didn't know why she was doing this. Her breathing felt shallow, her heart thrumming as adrenaline entered her system. She turned around to face him, looking straight into his eyes. There was not a spark of the fire that had been there before. That was replaced with a look of fear and loss. It hurt her knowing she put those on him.

But she couldn't stop herself now. Her mouth had run away from her. If he wanted to hear all her baggage, she could no longer deny him.

"But I know, no matter what I say, I could never stop you from doing that," Ochako stated aggressively through her tears, fighting through the urge to sob. "Because you're chasing your hero too. And I'm terrified I'm going to lose you because of it."

She didn't wait to see how he reacted. She did not think she could bear that. Instead, she flipped her head around and ran away as fast as she could from him. From what she had just said. Her lungs and legs burned as she fled, desperate to escape from the prison of her own churning emotions.

AN: Written for IzuOcha Week Day 6: Nightmares. Yes, this is late because it ended up being a lot bigger than expected. This is theming I've wanted to tackle for months.

Part 2 will be published Dec. 15.

The finale, part 3, will be published Dec. 17.

Thank you to RandomPersonaFanatic on the IzuOcha Discord server for editing this.

Please, leave a favourite and/or review if you enjoyed. They mean the world to me. =)