A/N- This was extremely fun to write. I saw that scene and Sirius, James, and Remus immediately came to my mind. This story is meant for enjoyment. It's not insulting Mary Poppins or Harry Potter, they are both very good, and this is purely to…well, laugh. So, anyway, enjoy the story and don't forget to review!!
Italics- Sirius Bold- Remus Bold Italics- James Underlined Italics- James and SiriusRemus sat in the common room, reading, as usual, while the rest of the Marauders and school were at lunch. The calm silence was soon ruined, though, as James burst in through the portrait hole.
"What did you two do now?" Remus asked, sighing. He didn't even have to look up from his book to know the look on James' face.
"Moony! You gotta come! Quick!"
Remus looked up. "You mean…"
"Yeah, I mean. Hurry!" James ran forward and grabbed Remus' arms. "He's worse than last time!"
James and Remus ended up running through the halls of Hogwarts to get to the Great Hall.
"I fear for the entire school, Moony. He's highly contagious," James said, looking up at the sunny ceiling.
Sirius, meanwhile, was hysterical laughing…while everyone looked up to him. He was floating on the high ceiling, clutching his sides with laughter.
"Oh, Padfoot! Get down from there!" Remus yelled, quite motherly.
"Oh, bless me! Bless my soul!" He threw his head back laughing. "It's Moony! I'm so…so…" He burst into a fit of laughter.
Remus glared up at Sirius, folding his arms impatiently.
"…so happy to see you! Look everyone it's Remus!"
"Sirius, you promised," Remus said, shaking his head.
"Yeah!" James said, nodding his head. Remus gave him an odd look. "What?"
"I know…I… I really did try, guys. I…But I very much enjoy laughing, you know?" Tears were streaming from his gray eyes, and he looked like he was crying rather than laughing. For his bark-like laugh reverberated through the Great Hall, howling getting added in sometimes too. "And…and when I start, it's all up with the…" Sirius was slowly rolling backwards. "This is what happens to me!"
Remus and James watched as their friend laughed drunkenly, floating all about.
"I just love laughing! Oh, my Merlin!" he rolled back forwards, resting on his stomach in midair. "I can't help it, you see. I just like laughing, is all!" Sirius, now upright again, was making himself bob up and down.
Students in the audience started laughing.
"Don't you dare," Remus said, turning to the kids. "You'll only make him worse. It's really severe. This is no laughing matter!" Remus groaned as he realized the irony of his choice of words.
"Yeah…whatever you do…keep a straight face. Last time it took us a whole day, yes a whole day…to get his arse down," James said, looking up.
Most of Hogwarts, even the teachers, stood watching Sirius. Though the rest had tried everything to get Sirius down, so their last resort was to get his friends to get him down. Funny music started to play out of nowhere.
James giggled suddenly. Remus turned to him sharply. James covered his giggle with a cough, failing miserably. Sirius started to sing, his voice cracking terribly with laughter.
I love to laugh!
Loud and long and clear!
Sirius was gliding forward, swimming his way through the air, and laughing like mad the whole way. James had started to snicker again.
I love to laugh!
It's getting worse every year!
Students in the watching audience had started to laugh too, all in exception of some of the high and mighty seventh years, who saw it as a mere moronic 5th year Gryffindor, and of course the Slytherins. James, at that current moment, was doubled over in laughter.
The more I laughThe more I fill with glee…
"You're no help at all," Remus said, frowning at James. James suddenly snapped his mouth close, squeezing to keep it shut.
The more the gleeThe more I'm a merrier me!
James made a funny face, trying to suppress his laughs. Suddenly his mouth flew open and he exploded with laughter.
"It's embarrassing!" Sirius said to the audience.
The more I'm a merrier me!
Remus shook his head at the whole student-body and professors, laughing helplessly at Sirius. Taking advantage of the music, and his chance to make a point, he sang:
Some people laugh through their noses
Sounding something like this…
Remus made a very girly, quiet laugh. Everyone turned their attention to him, still laughing at Sirius.
"Dreadful," Remus groaned, rolling his eyes.
Some people laugh through their teeth, goodness sakes
Hissing and fizzing like snakes
He did yet another demonstration, exaggerating a snake noise. "Not at all attractive to my way of thinking." Remus glanced at the girls closest to him. All flushed embarrassedly.
James grinned, deciding to join in.
Some people laugh too fastJames laughed as if he were on fast forward.
Some only blastJames let out a Sirius-approved bark laugh. Remus closed his eyes at the sudden noise, as if it were giving him a headache.
Others, they twitter like birdsJames 'twittered like a bird'. Remus felt like they were putting on a musical. Sirius' laughs sounding in the background, while they sang as if they recited it, which they didn't…
"You know you're as bad as he is," Remus said, turning to James and indicating the laughing boy up in the air still.
Then there's a kind who can't make up their mindJames then did a variety of different laughs.
When things strike me as funnyI can't hide it inside and squeak
As the squeakelers do!
Sirius joined in their little show again, his arms now above his head to prevent himself from slamming his head on the ceiling.
I've got to let go (Sirius held 'go' for a dramatically long time)With a ho-ho-ho-ho
James, laughing, began to fly up as well. He flew up and met Sirius.
And laugh!"How nice!" Sirius took James' hands, pulling him up to his level. "I was hoping you would turn up sometime, Prongsie ol' boy." They both laughed.
"Turn up!" James said, looking down at Remus.
"We always have such a good time!" Sirius said.
Remus turned away, arms folded yet again, a peeved expression on his face.
We love to laugh!
Loud and long and clear!
James and Sirius began a dance up in the air.
"Mr. Potter! Don't you dare start too!" McGonagall shouted up to him.
"No matter what you do, Professor, they won't listen…not that they ever do…" Remus said, turning back and looking up at his hysterical friends, who had started a hand-game.
We love to laughSo everybody can hear!
James and Sirius linked arms. 1st years by Remus started to float up, huge smiles on their little faces.
"Oops, don't you start. Come back down here," Remus said, pulling them back down.
The more you laughThe more you fill with glee
The more the glee
The more we're a merrier we!!!
James and Sirius stopped their ballet dance. James leaning back into Sirius, laughing like crazy. As Remus and McGonagall feared, soon all the students standing there were flying up towards Sirius and James.
"Oh, hey, everyone! Make yourselves comfortable."
"That's right. Pull up a chair," James said.
Everyone laughed.
"Oh, pull up…" Sirius said, pushing James. They both cackled with laughter.
"I must say you're a sight, the lot of you!" Remus said up to everyone, he then the only student, not counting a good number of Slytherins, left on the ground.
"Speaking of sight, this reminds me of my brother…" Sirius said, looking at James. "He's got a nice job in a watch factory…"
"I do not, you moron!" Regulus Black yelled up to his brother, a threatening look on his face.
"In a watch factory? What does he do?" James asked.
"He stands about all day and makes faces!"
James and Sirius started to laugh again…loud, long, and…well, clear. Regulus, at the same time, was red with anger and embarrassment.
"He makes faces in a watch facto—" James couldn't finish his sentence for laughs over took him.
Sirius leaned his head on James' shoulder as they both practically sobbed with laughter.
"You made that up!" James said.
"Well…I did for now!" Sirius said, howling with laughter.
"Shut up!" Regulus yelled. "I'm too young to work, for one thing. And the other, why the heck would I work in a watch store!?"
James and Sirius, completely ignoring the irate younger-Black, continued laughing.
"That's so good!" James said, patting Sirius' back.
"Such behavior!" Remus spat, shaking his head for the fifth time that day at his so-called friends. What was he thinking when he went into the same compartment as them…?
James had flipped upside down, and was laughing so hard his feet were kicking the ceiling. All the other students began to laugh yet again.
"Well, it's the most disgraceful sight I've ever seen! Or my name isn't Remus Lupin!"
"Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith…" James said, rotating backwards in slow motion.
"What's the name of his other leg?" Sirius asked. After a moment he, James, the students, and believe it or not some teachers, began laughing. "Wasn't that funny? What's the name of his other…"
"Now then, everyone, it's time for you to be in lunch, and me to go back to reading. I will not have my schedule interrupted," Remus said, realizing how much time that whole laughing-mess was taking up.
"Oh, please stay. Look, there's books, drinks, and food down there for you!" Sirius said, pointing down to his full plate and fraying textbook.
"And it's getting cold. Plus my memory is fading on the last sentence I read," Remus said indignantly.
"Well, I had hoped that maybe…that you would just, that…" Suddenly the whole Gryffindor table flew up into the air.
Remus' mouth dropped open, as he watched the table fly up into the air.
"Splendid!" Sirius exclaimed. "Thank you very much! Mind the goblets, they're full with Pumpkin juice. Now be careful, everyone."
"I knew Remmy could do it. Good cups and food too…" James said.
"Next thing I suppose you'll be wanting me to serve you…" Remus said. "Oh, well…If I must, I must…" Remus suddenly flew upwards, joining everybody else. "If you'll just stop acting like a pack of laughing hyenas!"
"Sandwich, Padfoot?"
"Yes, please," Sirius said, grinning.
"Prongs?"
"Er…no thank you. No sandwiches for me."
"I'm so glad you came. It would've been no fun without you," Peter said, whom was sitting beside James.
Remus just grumbled and threw a plate at Peter.
"Nice weather we're having this time of year, don't you think?" James asked, drinking some Pumpkin juice.
"Oh, yeah. Speaking of weather when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper said to him 'How long do you want it?'. And my friend said, 'Well, from about September to March.'
James fell backwards with laughter, the rest of the school following.
"Please! Control yourselves!" Remus said, taking his roll as Prefect. Oh, where was Lily when you needed her? Of course, she had to pick that day to be sick!
"Please sit properly at that table!" McGonagall yelled up to them.
Remus looked down, not seeing Dumbledore anywhere. He slowly looked up, almost frightened. Dumbledore was down at the other side of the table, laughing away like the rest of them.
"Your Pumpkin juice, Sirius," Remus said, handing him some.
"Oh, thanks, mate. I'm having such a good time. I wish you all could stay up here all the time!" Sirius said.
"Well, we might have to," a little Ravenclaw girl said. "There's no way to get down."
"Oh, no, there is a way," Sirius said.
Remus glanced at him over the rim of his goblet.
"Frankly I don't mention it. 'Cause you have to think of something sad."
"Then get on with it, please!" Remus said, slamming the goblet into the table.
"Let me see…" Sirius put his finger to his chin. "I've got the very thing. Yesterday when the lady next door answered the bell there was a man there. And the man said to the lady, 'I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat.'"
"Oh that's sad." Students started to float downward.
"The poor cat."
"And then the man said, 'I'd like to replace your cat.' And the lady said, 'well that's all right with me, but how are you at catching mice?'?"
Remus slammed his forehead onto the table, as laughter sounded again, everyone flying up.
"Well, you know, I started out sad. I try, I really do," Sirius said, wiping tears away with the back of his hand. "But…but everything ends up so hilarious, I can't…I can't help…" Sirius burst out into full-fledge laughter…yet again.
"That will be quite enough of that!" Remus said. A sudden idea popped to his head. "Hmmm, I heard the teacher's talking the other day…and guess what they said?"
A chorus of 'what?' rang out.
"They said that school is going to last all year. You won't be going home for the summer or holidays, I'm afraid."
"Oh, that is sad," everyone said, and before they knew what was going on, they were all floating down again.
"Oh, that's sad. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard!" Sirius said, drifting down as well.
Soon the Gryffindor table and Hogwarts students had their feet back on the ground.
Sirius grinned. "That was strange, but fun."
"Oh, yes, loads of fun. Having to get your practically drunk friends off of the school ceiling is my cup of tea!" Remus shouted.
"Sod off, Mr. Mary Poppins…"
FIN