All that is Lost

Set during the hypothetical-hypothetical Wei story, where Wei won against Shu and Wu during Chibi. Cao Cao gave a special celebration to the five Wei strategists Guo Jia, Jia Xu, Xun Yu, Xu Shu and Sima Yi for their efforts and the five had a hangover. When the five became sober, though, suddenly everyone is gone and everything around them became ruins and an endless desert! Horrified and confused of what's happening, the five strategists wandered around the ruined land trying to figure out what has happened, while other strange things are also occurring…

Note: Even though it's listed as Adventure/Humor, I feel that the more appropriate genre is Adventure/Humor/Parody/Drama. Curse FanFiction for not letting more than two genres.

Chapter 1: A Rough Night

….

….uhrgh….

….what…happened….?

….

...what a night...we had...

...

..

.

Guo Jia: …..ngrgh…..rrrgghhh….what? Where is…this? And….huh? ….what is this? Is this…..a doll? Of Lord Cao Cao? Rrrgghhh…..uh?

Sima Yi: sleeps with a jar of wine on his head

Guo Jia: Huh? Hey…yo! Wake up! removes the jar of wine

Sima Yi: Eh?! Uhm, whoa! Errgghhh….right….what happened last night?

Guo Jia: I….don't remember that much either. Gah, my head is still heavy….

Sima Yi: Wait a minute….I think….didn't we celebrate our victory against Sun Quan and Liu Bei at Chibi?

Guo Jia: Hmmm….

The night before….

Cao Cao: Congratulations! Thanks to our combined effort, we have defeated Sun Quan and Liu Bei!

Everyone: cheers

Cao Cao: And truly, none of this could have ever happened if it weren't for your efforts. Especially you, Guo Jia.

Guo Jia: Haha….truly, I am honored, my lord.

Back to present…..

Guo Jia: Ooohhh….that's right! Thanks to my help, we managed to win against them and turned their fire attack on them…right?

Sima Yi: Yup. And then….

Back to flashback…

Guo Jia: But still, without the help of my other four colleagues, I couldn't have done it either.

Jia Xu, Xun Yu, Xu Shu, and Sima Yi: Hahaha.

Cao Cao: Ah, right! Definitely can't forget you four too!

Jia Xu: Ahaha…but really though, Master Guo Jia is definitely the only one who can make this happen.

Xun Yu: That's right.

Xu Shu: Of course. I really didn't do much.

Sima Yi: Master Guo Jia clearly deserves the highest honor!

Guo Jia: Haha…yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you! And for that, let us have this special toast, for our victory!

The five: YEAH!

Back to present…

Sima Yi: And then we just went full-on crazy with those three…..

Guo Jia: Hmmm….right! Come, let's go check out on them.

Sima Yi: Yeah. Sigh…man, how can we even face Lord Cao Cao after this?

Guo Jia: It's alright. He probably should have expected this to happen, anyway.

Sima Yi: You had a point.

Meanwhile….

Jia Xu: ….guh…..nrrrghhhh…..what…..hm?! What the….why are my clothes ripped?! ….shit, man. Don't tell me we actually did 'that'….wait, what did we do anyway? Ngh…wha?!

Xun Yu: dressed in a maid's garb ….zzzz…zzzzzzz….zzzzzzzzz…..

Jia Xu: What….the….ngh…hey! Wake up!

Xun Yu: Zzzzz….

Jia Xu: ….WAKE! THE! FUCK! UP!

Xun Yu: AAAAHHHHH! Yes, yes, Master, I shall do whatever you ask me for, just please don't hit me with- Ah?

Jia Xu: There you go.

Xun Yu: Jia Xu?! ….realizes what he wears AAAAHHHH! What, what is this?! Why am I wearing this?! Gah, and you! Why are your clothes ripped?!

Jia Xu: The hell I know! But, seriously though….what happened last night?

Xun Yu: Well…we celebrated our victory at Chibi, then Guo Jia gave that toast to us, and…I dunno…everything just blacked out….

Jia Xu: Right…there were….Master Guo Jia, Sima Yi, and Xu Shu….right?

Xun Yu: Yeah….okay, better look for those three.

Jia Xu: Right.

Later….

Xun Yu: Hm? …..uhhh…Jia Xu.

Jia Xu: What? ….

Xu Shu: has his head dunked in a toilet with his entire body upside down while holding his sword

Jia Xu: ….

Xun Yu: ….it's alright. I'll take care of him.

Later….

Xu Shu: Rrrrgggghhhh….everything around me is turning upsssiiiiiiideeeeeee dowwwwwnnnnnn….

Jia Xu: ….hey. Hey! snaps finger

Xu Shu: Urrghhh….eh, uhm?! AH! Y-you guys?!

Xun Yu: Yeah, it's us.

Xu Shu: Eh, urm….why….are you dressed like that?

Xun Yu: Long story. Though to be fair, we don't remember either….

Jia Xu: Yeah…gah, that was a long night….

Xu Shu: Uhm…wait, I don't remember? What…happened last night? Like…

Xun Yu: Whoa. You really don't know, huh?

Jia Xu: Granted, this was his first time.

Xun Yu: For his first time, that was pretty rough.

Jia Xu: Poor guy. It's alright, he'll get used to it.

Xun Yu: Yeah. Well, long story short, we celebrated our victory at Chibi.

Jia Xu: However, we had some pretty hardcore toast offered by Guo Jia, and well…the rest….was history.

Xu Shu: Oh. Rgh….how did I suddenly end up THERE, anyway?

Xun Yu: That's the power of wine to you.

Jia Xu: Come on, we gotta meet up with the others. Maybe they can explain what happened….

Later…

Guo Jia: ….oh! Hey, Jia Xu! Xun Yu! Xu Shu!

Jia Xu: Hm? Oh, there you are!

Xun Yu: Are you guys okay?

Guo Jia: Eh….not really.

Sima Yi: Especially me. I woke up with a jar of wine on my head!

Jia Xu: Still better than me and Xun Yu.

Guo Jia and Sima Yi: widen eyes

Guo Jia: …..secretly nosebleeds

Sima Yi: Okay, that's….peculiar.

Xu Shu: Okay….so, what actually happened last night?

Everyone: …..

Guo Jia: Gah, dunno man….my vision is still all fuzzy-

Sima Yi: Wasn't all of this caused by you at the first place, you idiot?!

Guo Jia: Well, don't blame me for it! I mean, we only drank a bit, and then-

Xun Yu: A bit?! Explain how 'a bit' can cause THIS! This is humiliating!

Sima Yi: Okay, okay, calm down. Huff….we had quite a rough night, didn't we?

Everyone: Yeah….

Xun Yu: Huff…but, it's alright. It's all in the past. The most important thing now is to meet Lord Cao Cao and do our job as usual.

Jia Xu: Yeah. We really would NOT want THAT time to be repeated again…

Everyone except Xu Shu: ….shudders at the image of an angry Cao Cao

Xu Shu: Hm? What? What did you-

Guo Jia: Ah, tis' no fit for a newbie like you.

Xu Shu: But-

Xun Yu: Okay, okay, let's just go, okay?

Everyone: Right.

Later…

Xun Yu: ….whoa! Man, look at this place!

Sima Yi: Wha? Gee, what a trainwreck last night must've been.

Jia Xu: Of course. Just look at all this mess…

Xu Shu: Uhm…I'm kinda scared to think of what we actually did…

Guo Jia: That's because that's not a matter to be thought about.

Xun Yu: Seriously! Look, there are even panties scattered around here and there…

Jia Xu: Oh, dear….

Guo Jia: ….suddenly brightens up and puts up a perverted face

Jia Xu: Sigh…..hmmm….know what, there's something kinda….fishy, here.

Xu Shu: Huh, you're right. Look, there's a giant carp here.

Jia Xu: Not….that kind of fish.

Xu Shu: Oh.

Jia Xu: Though admittedly, that's kinda impressive.

Xun Yu: Hmm. What do you mean by fishy?

Jia Xu: I mean, this place has been completely destroyed by our drunk shenanigans, and yet…there's not a single person found here….

Sima Yi: Huh….you're right. You'd expect there'd be some lying around still recovering from hangover.

Jia Xu: Exactly.

Guo Jia: That could just mean that they finished up early.

Jia Xu: Still, something still feels…odd here. The atmosphere feels off.

Xun Yu: What do you mean?

Jia Xu: I don't know. It's as if that….we're actually in a different world.

Xun Yu: Whoa, whoa. Different world, you say? That seems too farfetched.

Sima Yi: That wine's effect is probably still lingering on you.

Jia Xu: Yeah…probably. Gah, I know I shouldn't be drinking too much at my age, anyway. This would usually be the result.

Guo Jia: Different world? Pfftt, that's ridiculous. walks outside Come on now, there's no need to worry about the last night anymore. All we gotta do isWHAAAAAAA?!

The other four: Huh?! Hey, what's wroWHAAAAAAAA?!

Everyone: widen eyes and jawdrop What…..is…..THIS PLACE?!

Guo Jia: Wait, what?! Why is….WHY IS THIS PLACE AN EFFIN' DESERT?!

Xun Yu: Where, where did everyone go?! Where did everything go?!

Sima Yi: There's just an endless desert everywhere I see!

Jia Xu: Tch….no way!

Xu Shu: NOOOOOO! WE'RE DOOOOOOOMED!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

.

.

.

Everyone: …..

Guo Jia: ….seriously….what? This, this place! The, the palace used to be here! And it's just now…ruins?

Xu Shu: Not just that, but everything else around us are also ruins!

Xun Yu: Hello! Where is everyone? Hellooooo! HELLOOO! SOMEONE! IS THERE ANYONE HERE?! …..no way. There's no way this could be happening.

Jia Xu: Tch….right! I KNOW there is something wrong with this place!

Sima Yi: Still, how could have you known about something that feels 'off' while we couldn't?

Xun Yu: You were probably making stuff up.

Jia Xu: I wasn't! Tch….I don't know…ever since I recovered from that hangover, I've just gotten this kind of feeling….the feeling that SOMETHING about this place and time we're in is not right!

Xu Shu: Wha, what are we gonna do?! There's literally NOTHING in this place! We're not gonna make it!

Jia Xu: Seriously, will you just stop whining?! That way you are actually NOT gonna make it!

Xun Yu: Huff…okay, okay. Everyone, just, calm down! Right now, we don't know where we are….or WHEN we are, even. Everyone we know is gone, and the only clue we have to discover what actually happened, was the celebration we had last night. And now, our utmost priority is trying to discover where we actually are, where has everybody gone to, and what actually happened. So let's get our shit together, and try to find a way out of this! Remember, we are the five people who managed to help our lord defeat the combined might of Sun Quan and Liu Bei themselves. We can do this.

Sima Yi: Eh, it's not THAT impressive really, what with our lord's forces outnumbering them 25 to 1…

Jia Xu: But if it weren't for Master Guo Jia's insight, they could've really wrecked our shit with that wind.

Guo Jia: Hm, yes! Indeed! We are the five most treasured geniuses of our lord! We can't just give up easily!

Xu Shu: But, who will be our leader?

Guo Jia: Aha, of course! It will obviously be-

The four: YOU!

Guo Jia: Whaaatt?! Me?!

Jia Xu: Yes, you!

Guo Jia: B-but why me?! I thought you guys were gonna pick Xun Yu, since he was the one who made that motivational speech….

Xun Yu: Yes, I did, but after further thinking….you are the one responsible for all this.

Guo Jia: What?! How?!

Sima Yi: After all, you were the one who got all of us drunk and hungover at the first place.

Guo Jia: What the…seriously, you guys are so mean…

Jia Xu: Heh, come on now, aren't you supposed to be the 'most beloved' of our lord himself? Do you think he would want seeing you like this?

Guo Jia: What the- NO! Of course not!

Jia Xu: Then are you willing to take this noble task of leading us away from this lifeless hellhole?

Guo Jia: YES!

Jia Xu: Good! You can do it!

Guo Jia: YES! YES! I can't disappoint my lord! I shall show him my best!

Jia Xu: Heheh…works everytime.

Guo Jia: Okay, listen up everybody! We're definitely going to give it our all! We're not gonna give up!

Everyone: YOOOOOO!

Guo Jia: And so, LET'S GO!

Everyone: YOOOOOOO!

And so the five strategists went on a journey throughout the seemingly endless desert, trying to find the possible reason as to why they suddenly landed on a mysterious, barren world after recovering from a wild hangover. Meanwhile, however….

?: watching the five from behind the ruins …so…those are the ones who have broken the rules. I see…the time has come, at last.

Xu Shu: …..ah?

Xun Yu: Xu Shu, what is it?

Xu Shu: I don't know….but I think I heard something….

Sima Yi: Really? Well, this might or might not be actually a good thing.

Jia Xu: Most probably not. We still don't know what could ever possibly live in a place like this, so you'd be best on your guard.

Suddenly, there was a blue light coming down from the sky.

Everyone: ….AH?! Wha….what's that?!

To Be Continued….

Yo guys! So, I came with a brand new story, and sorry if I'm late in uploading this since there was a power outage, and I had to wait until a looooooooonnnnngggg time before the electricity came back again.

Anyways, please leave a review and have a good day!