As he exited the en-suite I dipped my eyes back down to the Scrabble board. He was wearing the flannel pyjama bottoms, and only the bottoms. I guessed he'd only brought one set and the top was the one he'd offered me. I continued to stare at the board, biting the top of my thumb, my one thought repeating through my head being not to look at his... chest. My eyes flickered up as he paused beside the bed. He was smiling at me. But not just with his mouth; in his eyes there seemed to be a gleam that I wasn't sure I'd noticed before. I ducked my head back down.
"So yeah, urm I think your 'goofball' won you the game" I babbled, wishing it wasn't true. I'd tried so hard to be intellectual with what I'd spelt across the board, but he'd beat me with some playground insult. My pride was a little crushed as my Scrabble winning streak had been broken by Toby, but I pushed it aside to stop him from noticing.
"Did you want a rematch?" He asked. I glanced back up and saw his small smirk.
"Oh, no." I answered hurriedly, sitting up and packing away the spare letters. He raised his eyebrow, ever so slightly. It felt like he was challenging me so I spoke quickly. "It's getting late, and I'm kinda tired." I faked a yawn. From the look on his face I wasn't sure I'd convinced him. "Besides, we need to be awake early tomorrow morning in case Jenna comes."
The mention of his step-sister seemed to spur some action into him as he nodded and then proceeded to clear the tiles from the board. The game was packed away quickly and the bed was cleared. I then hung back slightly as the realisation of who I'd be spending the night with kicked in. He saw my hesitation and frowned slightly.
"Urm, I can sleep on the floor if you want. I brought a sleeping bag, just in case..." I looked from the bed back to him, feeling more than a little guilty. The guy had had a really rough time lately and I hadn't helped by automatically assuming he was a dangerous psychotic murderer. Besides, he was the one paying for the room. My conscience stumbled and I gave in.
"No, it's fine. Don't be silly." I gestured aimlessly towards the bed trying to sound at least half convincing. He watched me for a moment and then nodded.
"Ok." He sat on the edge of the bed and then looked back at me. "Are you getting changed?" I stared for a moment, knowing that I stupidly hadn't brought anything for myself in the rush to get out of my house, and that he was right about my outfit being uncomfortable to sleep in. But the only other option was his pyjama top, and I was unsure. In the back of my mind all my old thoughts about him and his shady personality bubbled, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to be half un-dressed in the same room as him. I was about to shake the offer off and try sleeping in my clothes but as I opened my mouth he smiled, yet with a small look of concern on his face. I couldn't help but think it was cute. Then I realised what I had thought and quickly cleared it from my head. The voices at the back of my mind quietened also and I finally told myself I was being stupid. I reached for the top and nodded at him.
"Urm, yeah. Thanks..." I trailed off and after a moment of awkward silence I slipped into the en-suite, making sure the door was closed fully.
I leaned against the wall and took a breath. Come on Spence, pull yourself together. I repeated it as a mantra in my head, telling myself that I was doing this to find out what Jenna was doing in that room. But my conscience shifted, and I felt guilty again. Toby wasn't that bad... It wasn't exactly like I was using him... after all, I had been helping him over the last week, and I'd enjoyed his company. Sort of. I sighed, and decided to be honest with myself. Ok, yeah, I'd had fun, and Toby's nice. So don't be too hard on him. Plus his smile is kind of cute. I stopped myself there. Wow, I hadn't prepared to be that honest with myself. I shook my head, ignoring my last thought and quickly changed. Once I'd pulled on the pyjama top over my underwear I then began to re-evaluate. The furthest it reached was halfway down my thigh, and that was if I pulled it down. Not wanting to stretch or ruin the loaned top I stared at myself in the mirror, unsure whether to change back into my clothes. It was a long debate but I eventually decided it was for one night and stuck with Toby's top as I couldn't deny that it would be more comfortable. I then hesitated about the idea of sharing the bed. I sighed and decided that I'd try to find a way to politely ask if he could use the sleeping bag.
Once again I did my best to pull the top down further before slipping back into the room. I turned to look at the bed, ready to ask about the sleeping bag. My mouth opened and closed as I watched him sleep. I couldn't wake him up now... it would be too awkward. I sighed and considered fishing out the sleeping bag myself. But that would probably wake him, and it would still be rather awkward. Besides, he wasn't that bad, I thought to myself. I watched his chest rise and fall slowly as he breathed. A couple of seconds later I realised I was still staring, and for a different reason. I couldn't help but think that he was attractive. I ducked my head down as I quickly wiped the thought to the back of my mind. Slowly I crept towards the bed, making sure not to wake him. My mind was racing with contradicting thoughts as I shifted onto the edge of the bed. Part of me couldn't let go of the suspicions I had held about him but another, stronger, part of me knew that he was innocent and misunderstood. Especially after seeing him asleep. I glanced back at him one more time before dropping my head onto the pillow to shut the voices in my head up.