A Dream Gone Wrong
Summary: Harry Potter has always been Pauline's obsession. What happens when she actually meets him? ONE-SHOT (LOTS OF "USPPLZ" JOKES)
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the Harry Potter related items. On the other hand, I do own the plot and the following characters: Pauline, Nikita, Sai, Supriya, and Jenny
WARNING: This has a lot of inside jokes. The story will make sense, but it isn't as interesting (TRUST ME) without the inside jokes.
"Don't take this the wrong way, Plinger, but I think you should get a boyfriend—" Nikita suggested to her friend, as they walked home.
"But I already have one! I mean… we've never met… but I'm sure once we do—" Pauline smiled gleefully.
"No, I mean a real boyfriend. I mean… You shouldn't waste your time dreaming about the infamous Harry Potter, when everyone knows Sai is crushing on you…" Nikita yanked her slightly curly jet black hair, attempting to straighten it.
Pauline frowned and bit her lip. But I don't even like Sai…
"But he's such a—AHH!" Plinger screamed as she hit the hard cement floor with full force. "What the?" She looked up to see Nikita holding out a manicured hand to her, which she thankfully took. Once she got up, she saw a teenage boy, sitting on the floor, clutching his leg, which she had apparently tripped over.
"Watch where you're walking!" he muttered.
"Well, I—OH MY GOD!" Pauline staggered, nearly knocking Nikki, a.k.a. Nikita, over. His… his forehead… that scar! Could it be!
The boy immediately put his hand to his forehead, trying to cover something.
In the blink of an eye, Plinger was sitting next to the boy, with a pocket watch dangling between her fore and middle fingers. She slowly rocked her fingers, pulling the chord and dangling watch in a hypnotic motion. If this is really Harry, MY DREAM WILL COME TRUE!
"You love me… You love me so much… You are overwhelmingly in love with me… You will do anything for me…" Pauline chanted slowly as she rocked the watch back and forth.
"I am overwhelm—WHOAH! What are you do-i-i—"Harry stumbled over his words, as he began to fall asleep.
Plinger took out her wand and muttered, "silencio" over Harry's unusually loud snoring. Nikita sighed, "Pauline… You know you shouldn't be doing this…"
"Did you know that laughing will actually reduce snoring?" a new voice said.
Pauline jumped and when she saw who it was, she pursed her lips, "Hello, Sai."
"Who's he?" Sai glared with disgust at the-boy-who-lived.
Pauline answered, "Just some guy. Here, help me get him to the local ice rink… Jenny can help me…"
Nikita popped in, "Ice Arena?" Pauline just smiled and nodded, THIS WAY HE CAN'T ESCAPE! BUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Suddenly a red haired boy popped up, almost as if from thin air, "Hey, Harry… Did you see me apparate—HARRY!"
Pauline's eyes widened and Nikita wouldn't have been surprised if Plinger's eyes didn't just fall out of their sockets. Sai waved his hand in front of Pauline's stunned face, "Yo?"
Pauline shook her head slowly in disbelief, "Ron and Harry. Together. With me. I must be in heaven…"
She fainted, falling right on top of Harry, which immediately woke him up. He shook her lightly, trying to wake up the girl, whose unusual dreams were actually a reality.
Ron grinned as he saw Plinger's small chocolate eyes peer open in surprise. He blushed, "Hi. I'm Ronald…," but all of her attention seemed fixed on Harry.
Nikita gagged as she dragged the confused and distraught Sai away.
Something about her triggered a memory in Harry's mind as he began to chant, "I love you… I love you so much… I am overwhelmingly in love with you…I will do anything for you..." His eyes widened with his every word. "Wait! I take that b—"
"YOU LOVE ME!" Pauline fainted again, but was immediately awoken by two popping noises.
"Sorry, mates! Some deranged lady with a Tetsusaiga (A/N: A Tetsusaiga is from Inu-Yasha. It's basically a humongous sword) is chasing us… She wants to cut off our—RUN!" They screamed rather girlishly as another pop sounded.
"COME BACK! I JUST WANT TO RECUT YOUR HAIR! (A/N: Hehe… What did you think she wanted to cut off? Eh? XD)" Supriya waved her humongous sword recklessly around in the air, narrowly missing Ron's head.
But Fred's and George's red heads were seen running down the street, screaming at the top of their lungs. Supriya yelled after them, "BUT YOUR HAIRCUT IS SO BAD!"
Suddenly there was another pop, "Did anyone say bad haircut?" A white-blond haired boy announced as he turned his head, flipping his SUPER long stark blond hair.
He looked at raving Supriya, then at Ron, who was attempting to grab Pauline's hand, which kept slipping away…
Harry was out cold for an unknown reason, except to Pauline because she's the one who knocked him unconscious. She slapped him awake, leaving everyone in the room puzzled, "I've come up with my request."
"R-r-request!" Harry choked on the word.
"Yes. You said you'd do anything for me, and this is what I want: MARRY ME, HARRY!" she threw her arms out to him, which he narrowly dodged.
"OH NO! Hermione would kill me!" Harry stepped back, as Ron's attention was thrown from Plinger to Harry, "What does Hermione have to do with this?"
Almost as if he had summoned her, Hermione and her humongous brown curls suddenly appeared, "What the—WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY HARRY!" Hermione pointed her finger furiously at Plinger, who was too preoccupied with reminding Harry that she wanted him to marry her to notice the murderous young witch standing in front of her.
"Wait! I thought I was YOUR RON!" Ron interrupted.
Hermione looked at him through the corner of her eye, then saw his sadness, and sighed. "Ron, you know those were just cooties. I don't like you anymo—"
"DON'T SAY IT!" Ron immaturely covered his ears with his hands, as he began to scream at the top of his lungs, "A – B – C – D – E – F – G -…"
Malfoy neared Harry and shoved something into Harry's hand, "Here. Take this 1243546543212345321 karat diamond ring and go get married! THEN, I CAN PLAY THE LEAD OF HARRY POTTER! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Everyone stared at him. Even Supriya stopped chasing the extremely tired twins, "Wait… How can you play Harry Potter? You talk about it like we're in a book or a movie or something… Right, Tom Felton?—Wait, sorry about that. I don't know where that name came from…"
Malfoy shifted his gaze to his manicured nails. "Sure. Whatever."
Hermione stormed over to Plinger, but within inches of the unsuspecting girl, Hermione suddenly fell over in a dead faint.
Harry rushed to her side, wondering what happened. He noticed her breathing had stopped and he was about to give her CPR, when Ron suddenly cut in. He ripped open Hermione's shirt and found out she was wearing a bright pink corset. He whipped out his Swiss Army Knife and promptly cut through the thin wires holding the corset together. Hermione immediately woke up and began sputtering.
After catching her breath, a wide grin appeared on her face, "Wow! Harry and Ron… fighting over me!" Pauline grimaced as she took off her blue coat and threw it at Hermione.
"Please, put it on so that Harry and Ron can begin fighting over me again."
Harry winced while Ron was fighting a mental battle in his head: Hermione or Pauline? Pauline's prettier no doubt… But Hermione won't let me copy off her homework if I don't choose her… what's a boy to do!
Dumbledore suddenly appeared, "Follow your heart, Ron. Follow your heart."
Another dark cloaked man immediately appeared next to Dumbledore, "No, choose the best path… Join me, the Dark Lord! And you will soar to places you never dreamed of—"
"WHOAH!" Ron interrupted, "Now, what does this have to do with Hermione and Plinger?"
Hermione and Pauline blushed, glad to be thought of.
The Dark Lord continued, "You will travel to places you never dreamed of… Like… The BANANA IN THE SKY!"
Pauline frowned, That can't be right…
But Voldemort kept repeating like a broken piece of machinery, "The BANANA IN THE SKY! The BANANA IN THE SKY! The BANANA IN THE SKY—"
"Pauline?" a pair of hands shook her awake. Pauline felt herself drift back to consciousness. She suddenly felt extremely cold, especially her bottom. She quickly opened her eyes, and found out she was in the ice arena.
Jenny smiled, revealing humongous dimples, "Good. You're awake. I thought putting you on the ice would work. (A/N: I'M JENNY! THAT'S SO COOL! XD)"
Pauline immediately sat up straight like a jolt of lightning had been passed through her, "Did you see me walk in with Danny Rad?"
"Danny Rad?"
"I mean Daniel Radcliff, a.k.a. Harry Potter!"
Jenny frowned, "Well, if you mean that guy you dragged into here, probably. But it's hard to tell because when you tried to drag him onto the ice, you slipped and went unconscious. He just ran away… Oh well."
Plinger fisted her hands in frustration, "Yeah. I guess… Oh well." She sighed, as she saw Jenny's curly ponytail traveling down the ice arena at breakneck speed.
Jenny turned and yelled back at Plinger, who was limping to the rail, "I guess… I'LL – SEE – YOU – AT – SCHOOL," she added as an afterthought, "POTTER!"
(A/N: It's a quote from the third book, when Draco runs into Ron and Harry at the bookstore.)
THE END.
Sorry that the plot degenerated. I got a little bored and short on time. Well, tell me what you think… :D READ AND REVIEW:D