Hi, you guys! My exams are finally over, so here I am again with this little one shot that I hope you'll like! I wrote this story about a year ago, so it's taking place at the very beginning of season 6. I'm coming back very soon with my new fanfiction, I'm so happy to be able to write again!
Emma Swan let go of a long, deep sight and dipped her frozen hands into the pockets of her red leather jacket, trying to warm herself up a bit. Looking down to try and protect herself from the violent wind gusts, she blinked to escape the little unpleasant rain that was tingling her face. She hated autumn. She just hated it. The leaves falling from the trees and making the ground slippery when it was raining, the cold that seemed to be reaching the bones, the birds getting quiet because of the awful weather, the gray and sad tint the sky was taking, making everything look gloomy. No, she really didn't like fall, and it wasn't improving her already bad mood at all.
She'd spent such an awful day. She'd stayed inside the station for hours, alone, and had stared at the blank sheet laying in front of her without really seeing it. She was supposed to write on it all the possible solutions they had to fight the Evil Queen, she was supposed to find a plan to defeat the villain who was terrorizing the town, but nothing had come to her mind. They hadn't even had a day off after coming back from the Underworld, and the queen had already decided to make their lives a living hell. Luckily, her and Killian had actually found the time to move in together in the house she'd lived in while she was the Dark One, the house he'd chosen for them in Camelot. It was the only positive thing that had happened to her in months. Between Regina, who was mourning the death of her true love; Robin's absence that was making them all horribly sad; Henry in the middle of his adolescence crisis and her parents, who were so happy to be reunited with Neal they seemed to have forgotten about her existence, Hook's presence by her side was the only thing keeping her from getting completely depressed and locking herself in her room to never come out of it. And this day was looking even darker than those before, if it was even possible.
Because, in addition to all of this, in addition to the fact she was feeling so lonely lately, it was her birthday. And she was hating that so damn much.
She had always felt hopelessly invisible. The other kids around her were receiving gifts and love, but she'd never had this chance. Of course, as a child, she would always hope someone would actually pay attention to her and remember it was her birthday, she'd hope she would feel loved and safe, but this day had never come. And then she'd found her parents, four years ago now, but it hadn't changed anything. Between all the problems they had to constantly face in this town, they'd never had the time to celebrate this date. She would have wanted to convince herself she was used to it by now, she'd lived like this for so long, but it wasn't true. Deep down, she was feeling more alone than ever. And it was hurting her so much, because she was wondering why she never seemed to be enough for anyone.
The day had already started pretty badly. She'd woken up a little bit later than usual, and had felt her heart aching at the thought it was her birthday, and she would probably feel so alone once again. She hadn't felt Killian's arms wrapped around her like they should have been, and had rolled on her side, thinking that he'd probably moved in his sleep. She'd just wanted to snuggle against his chest and stay like that for hours, because she knew he would be the only one able to make her feel better. But she'd found his side of the bed empty and cold. As an explanation, a little piece of paper was placed on his pillow, covered with his little, neat handwriting :
Hey, love
Happy birthday, sweetheart. I hope you're feeling better this morning than yesterday. I'm so deeply sorry that I cannot be there with you right now, I'd love to celebrate this with you more than anything because you deserve the world. But your father has called me early in the morning to ask for my help with an issue in town. I have decided not to wake you up, I know you like your sleep.
I've made waffles and bacon for you, everything is waiting for you in the kitchen. Again, apologize for not being able to be there with you, my love, but I didn't have a choice. I promise you I'll redeem myself this evening (If you know what I mean)
I love you more than anything,
Killian
At first, a small smile had spread on her lips when she'd read his innuendo, but she had quite quickly lost it. She was finding herself alone for her birthday, as always, as if nothing had changed and she was still an orphan without anyone to love her. She'd then gotten off her bed, shuffling, and had prepared some hot cocoa to try and comfort herself, which unfortunately hadn't worked. She was feeling too sad for it to be over with a drink. She'd swallowed a few waffles, and had left for the station with her heart aching so much she was feeling like crying.
As for her parents, she was pretty sure they'd completely forgotten about her birthday. Even if she knew she should have expected that to happen, it was still hurting. She was mad at them for making her suffer, but was hating herself for her own feelings. It was childish, she knew it, but she was too hurt to ignore these thoughts. And she was also so mad at herself : she shouldn't have expected anything from them. They'd never had to remember her birthday for almost thirty years, it was perfectly natural they hadn't recalled it today. In addition to that, since they'd come back from the Underworld, they were only caring about Neal, as they'd thought they would never see him again for a while, and she shouldn't have hoped anything coming from them. They'd basically forgotten about her. Their reaction was actually understandable : she was a grown-up, she had lived by herself for years, they were probably thinking she didn't need them anymore. And she was feeling so grateful they'd come with her to get Hook out of the Underworld, but since then, they were not paying any attention to her whatsoever. They were so happy to have gotten Neal back that they had forgotten about her own existence. She knew deep down she shouldn't have been surprised : she was their daughter, sure, but they were only knowing her for a few years. They were raising Neal since his birth, and it was natural for them to love him more than they loved her. But despite all of these rationalizations, she was feeling left behind and unloved. So, to protect herself, she was making sure to see them as less as possible. By doing so, she was feeling like she was controlling the situation, and even if it was a small comfort, it was making her feel a little bit better.
About Henry, he'd sent her a text to ask her if he could see her during the day, but she'd been the one to refuse the offer. He was growing up, and was pushing her away as well, what was perfectly normal, she knew it. But she didn't know how to react regarding some of his behaviors, and was feeling a bit lost as for what to say to him sometimes. He was provoking her a lot lately, saying things that weren't always very nice, and it was always ending up with screams and him locking himself in his room. She had no idea of what to answer when he was acting that way, and was therefore starting to yell because it was the only thing she could actually do. But it was always worsening things between them. She didn't know what to do anymore, and her complicated relationship with her son was playing a big part in her dark thoughts, she had to admit it.
Killian had tried to reach her to ask her out for lunch so they could spend time together, but she'd pretended to be too busy at work and had ignored his calls and worried texts asking her what was wrong and if he could do anything to help. She was a bit mad at him for not being there in the morning, because she needed him more than ever at the moment, but she was finding herself stupid and it was frustrating her even more. And now, she was regretting not to have accepted his offer. She hadn't eaten since the morning, she was starving, and she just wanted to hug him real tight and never let him go. She knew he was the only one able to make this horrible sadness go away for a little while. So she started to walk even faster to go home, hoping that he was awaiting for her and that she would finally be able to tell him what was happening inside of her mind. He was the only one who would listen and understand. He would tell her he loved her and he was the only one able to erase her troubles with a simple hug and a kiss on the head.
After a few more minutes spent at walking under the unpleasant rain, she finally arrived in front of her house. She stopped under the porch for a few seconds to find her keys inside her pocket, shaking her head to try and chase her wet hair away from her face. When she'd found the precious item, she quickly entered her home, shivering because of the cold, and said in a husky voice after slamming the door behind her back :
"Killian, I'm home!"
Only the quiet answered her. She frowned, intrigued. She'd thought she had seen a light in the living room when she'd walked past the house, so Killian had to be there. Maybe he'd fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for her, or maybe he hadn't heard her calling him. She then headed for the living room to know where her boyfriend was, looking down at the floor and letting go of another deep, desperate sight :
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
The words that several voices she couldn't discriminate had shouted at the same time made her startle. She placed a hand on her heart, that was pounding quite fast from the surprise, and looked up to discover that three dozens of people- at least - were standing in her living room, staring at her with huge smiles on their faces. Her mouth half open in awe, her first impulse was to pinch herself to make sure that what was in front of her was true, and that she wasn't dreaming, because all of this was seeming so unreal. She didn't have the time to say anything, and her mom took her against her to hold her very close for a few seconds.
"How are you, baby?"
"I... I'm." She stuttered, not managing to believe what was actually happening to her. "What are you all doing here?"
"We're here to celebrate your birthday, of course!" Her dad answered, approaching her to hug her as well. "Killian's organized everything, with a bit of our help."
She glanced behind his shoulder to look at her boyfriend, who was standing not far from them and was staring at them with a little smile on his face. He was actually looking pretty proud of himself, she thought. She looked at him, shaking her head in disbelief, more than surprised by this party that she hadn't expected to find on her way home. She'd genuinely thought everyone had forgotten about her, she'd thought she wasn't important enough for anyone to remember this day, and now she was there, surrounded by all of her friends who had come just for her. She couldn't believe it, and she was so moved she didn't know what to say. Killian kindly winked a her, and their quiet conversation got interrupted by Henry, who came to hug her as well :
"Happy birthday, Mom." He whispered to her ear, a big smile on his face.
"Wait, you've all come... for me?" Was the only thing she managed to say, wanting to make sure she wasn't mistaking and they were actually there for her.
"Of course we have! I hope you didn't think we'd actually forgotten about our daughter's birthday!" Her dad said teasingly.
She held back her first impulse that was to tell him he was actually right, and she got tugged into the room, receiving a hug from each and every one of her friends, who all wanted to wish her a happy birthday. She was absolutely amazed. She'd never felt good or important enough to receive any of these, and she hadn't thought for a second Killian'd had the idea of organizing a party, just for her. He'd once again guessed what was happening inside of her mind. An open book, he'd called her the first time they'd met. He'd guessed that she was feeling unloved, that, once again, the loneliness had taken its place back into her life. So he'd wanted to show her she was wrong : she was important, enough, loved, and she wasn't alone. She would never be again.
Once her friends had greeted her, and once she'd managed to pull a little bit away from all of these embraces, she approached Killian, who was standing in a corner of the room. His arms folded, he watched her coming with a little smile on his face. She hadn't seen him all day, and she wanted to be close to him so badly. She wanted to make him understand how much this surprise was actually touching her heart, but she was scared not to be able to find the right words to tell him how she was feeling. Between the two of them, he'd always been the one talented for big speeches, while she was more comfortable with little daily gestures to show him how much she loved him. A kiss, a stroke, a hug, he would always understand what she was trying to tell him. But this time, she was feeling like she should use words, even if she didn't know what to do. But as she was getting closer, he spread his arms wide, and she understood that she didn't need to say anything, because he knew. He always knew. She rushed toward him and threw herself into his arms, her face buried into the crook of his neck, feeling tears of joy appearing in her eyes.
"Happy birthday, my love." He whispered, his nose in her hair to breathe her in.
"Thank you." She answered in a low voice before kissing his chin, what made him chuckle in happiness.
This little word was meaning everything to her. Thanks for this party, thanks for always being there, thanks for getting me without me having to say anything out loud. Thanks for showing me I could trust the people I loved when I was closed off and unhappy. Thanks for bringing my walls down. Thanks for loving me despite my fears and my doubts. Just thanks for being you.
"I apologize for not being there this morning." He said, interrupting her inner speech. "It was to organize everything for tonight, but I get now that I should have waited for you to be at work to do that. I shouldn't have left you behind like that. I'm really, really sorry..."
"It's okay." She cut him off, pulling a little bit away from him to look at him in the eyes, gently stroking his cheek. "It's really not a big deal."
"Of course it is." He countered. "I could sense that you were hurt, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry about that. I just wanted to make you happy, and I didn't want you to feel sad, especially not today. I just..."
"I love you." She interrupted him once again, because it was feeling like the right thing to say.
He smiled at her, eyes sparkling at her words, and he leaned forward to press a long, tender kiss on her lips. Her mouth naturally opened to let him in as his hand was running up her back to cup her head, her fingers grabbing the front of his jacket to pull him closer to her as the kiss was becoming more demanding. They only parted when she realized they weren't alone in the room, and rested her forehead against his own, their noses brushing against one another. Very gently, he wiped off a lonely tear of joy that was running down her face, and kissed her forehead, looking at her with pure love in his eyes for a few more seconds, and her heart fluttered in happiness. After a little while spent at caressing her skin through her sweater, he ended up changing the subject :
"Granny brought food, everything's in the kitchen. And I can tell you that some of your favorite meals are there as well."
She smiled at him. "That's just perfect, because I'm absolutely starving."
"I know, I guessed you would be since you've refused to eat lunch with me." There wasn't any hint of blame in his voice, just a little bit of worry as he was looking at her carefully, as if to make sure she was all right.
"Sorry 'bout that." She winced, feeling a bit guilty for pushing him away. "I know I shouldn't have done that. I was just feeling really bad all day..."
"Don't apologize, Swan." He frowned, suddenly looking very concerned by her words, and she understood she could talk to him about her feelings, because he would understand, always.
She looked down at the ground, chewing on her bottom lip. "It seems that I'm so scared of being left alone again that I end up pushing the people I love away."
"Hey, Em'" He gently reacted, putting a finger under her chin to lift her face up so she could look at him. "I know how you feel, baby. But look around you. Look at all these people. They've come just for you, because they love you, and because they know you're the most amazing person. You're important. You're enough. Believe me. You need to stop believing everyone is going to leave you eventually, because it's not true. I love you, and I'm always going to be by your side. I have no intention of letting you down, you're my everything. You'll never be alone again."
"I... I know." She stuttered, so touched by his words her heart was racing in her chest, and she was feeling like she was going to start sobbing in his arms. "I know you won't ever leave me. And I know there are people who love me now. I shouldn't feel like that, but I can't help it. And at the moment, things are a bit complicated with my parents. I feel like I'm not important for them anymore. And I feel like if I'm the first one to push them away, I won't get hurt again, you know?"
"Of course I do, Swan, I'm starting to know you." He said with a little smirk that made her smile slightly, and he leaned forward to press a little kiss on the tip of her nose. "And I don't want you to get hurt. But if you allow me to give you a piece of advice, maybe you should talk to your parents about your feelings. You'd feel better, it's not healthy to keep everything inside of you, it's making you sad and you deserve to be happy more than anyone. Your parents love you, you know. They are a bit awkward with you sometimes, because they don't really know how to act around you, but they absolutely adore you, it's obvious."
"Did they say something to you about me?" She guessed with a little frown, intrigued by his words.
"They've asked me if I knew why you were pushing them away like that." He admitted with a kind smile. "I've told them to talk about it with you. It wasn't my place to tell them anything, they have to hear it from you. But I think you should all have a little conversation sooner or later."
She turned her head to look at her parents, who were leaning above her baby brother's cradle "You're right." She finally said after a few seconds, looking back at her boyfriend. "I need to talk to them."
"It's the right thing to do, love." He nodded, pressing a kiss on the top of her head as an encouragement. "I'm sure you'll all feel better afterwards. And I really hope you will, because I hate seeing you that sad. I've missed that beautiful smile of yours."
She grinned in awe, not believing how absolutely adorable this man was, and how lucky she was to spend her life with him. She was wondering how she'd actually thought for one second she was alone. He was there, he would always be. He'd promised her this, and she was trusting him more than anyone.
"Thank you so much, Killian." She murmured, running his hand through his hair to show him how thankful she was he was there. "I love you."
"I love you more." He answered teasingly, and kept going before she could protest. "And I'm here for you, always. Now, you should go and talk to them. The sooner the better. And maybe you'll be able to enjoy this party if you tell them now."
She nodded, but didn't obey right away, hesitating a little bit. She knew he was right, but she was a bit scared to tell them everything, she was afraid of their reaction. Killian chuckled and gently pressed his hand on the small of her back to make her walk into the room. She glanced back at him one last time to give herself some courage, then slowly walked toward her parents, who didn't seem to have noticed she was approaching them.
"Hey." She started a bit shyly, not knowing at all how to start the conversation.
"Emma!" Her mom cried out, getting up as she was squatting to look at Neal, a big, happy grin on her face that relaxed her a little bit. "Do you like the party?"
"I love it." She answered with a really small smile, nervously playing with her fingers. "Thanks for everything, it means a lot to me."
"Is something wrong?" Her dad guessed with a frown, getting up as well to look at her in the eyes.
"Not really... well, I mean, I do need to talk to you about something. Is there a way we could go somewhere just the three of us?" She asked almost sheepishly.
"Sure." Her mom said, looking at her in a concerned way.
She gestured to Regina, who was standing not far from them, to ask her to take care of Neal for a few minutes, then briefly placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder, seeming to guess she was about to admit something quite important.
Emma started to walk and they followed her to the kitchen. With somewhat shaky movements, she closed the door behind them to make sure no one would come and interrupt them. She needed all the courage she could get to tell them what was weighting on her mind, and an interruption would not help. When she turned to face her parents, she noticed that dozens of plates were placed on the table and the kitchen counter, and her stomach started to rumble in expectation. To give herself some strength, she forbade herself to touch the food before telling them everything. She however grabbed a glass to pour a little bit of rum in it, telling herself the warm feeling of the alcohol would probably encourage her.
"What's the matter, Emma?" Her dad asked, his brows together in concern.
She sighted and sat down on a corner of the kitchen counter, swinging her legs back and forth a few times, not daring to look at her dad in the eyes. She brought the glass to her lips and emptied it in one big sip, before putting it back down next to her. She felt the warm liquid going down her throat, and that made her feel a little bit better.
"Hum..." She started a bit awkwardly, still not looking at her parents. "Killian told me that... He told me you've asked him why I was behaving a bit strangely lately, and I think I owe you an explanation."
"It's true that we've noticed you were a bit distant." Her mom nodded, talking in a serious, deep tone. "You've become a bit cold with us, almost like when you first learned we were your parents. Have we done something wrong?"
She closed her eyes for a brief second to gather her strengths, and resisted the need to take another glass of rum. She needed to stay sober. She could do it, she was strong, she'd lived much more terrible things that this situation. But she was scared to hurt them by telling them everything. Knowing them, they would think they were bad parents, but that wasn't the case at all. They were absolutely perfect with Neal. Things were just way more complicated with her, and she knew it was her fault as well.
"No, you haven't, just..." She sighted, shaking her head. "Look, promise me you won't feel guilty, okay?"
"You can tell us anything, Emma, I promise." Her dad said with a slight smile.
She took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding almost painfully in her chest, and she quietly congratulated herself for choosing to sit down, because her legs were shaking so hard she doubted to be able to stay on her feet. She was feeling like a little girl who'd been busted doing something she shouldn't have. She was so scared to hurt them. But at the same time, they were hurting her, even if it wasn't on purpose. She was aware that she didn't have a choice but to tell them, because if she kept her feelings to herself, things would only get even worse. She wasn't happy, and they were worried about her, she could read it in their eyes. It was time for things to be good again.
"Okay, here we go" She started, purposely staring at something above their heads to avoid sharing a glance with them. "Since we've come back from the Underworld, I'm feeling left behind. You've done so many things for me, and I'm beyond thankful for that, and I know you love me. But... Since you've gotten Neal back, I feel like I don't exist anymore. It's like you've forgotten about me. And I know I'm being stupid, because I'm an adult and Neal is only a baby, but … Let's say I feel like you're giving up on me again. And that makes me sad. You know how I am when I feel in danger : I put my armor back on, and that's why you think I'm distant. I prefer to be the one pushing you away first, because it feels like it's my decision and not yours."
She was breathless when she got quiet. Sharing her feelings was definitely not her strong suit, and she was suddenly exhausted. She finally looked down to her parents to see what they were thinking about all of this, and she thought she'd made a terrible mistake almost right away. Her mother was so pale, her father had his lips parted, and they were both looking about to cry, unshed tears shinning deep into their eyes. She herself felt a sob obstructing her throat. She should never have told them all of this. They were now feeling guilty, and it was only going to worsen things. She should have kept everything to herself. Why was she never able to shut up? Why did she have to ruin everything all the time?
"Sorry." She said in a muffled voice, jumping off the counter to try and escape the pain she was reading in their eyes. "Never mind. Forget about it."
"Emma, wait!"
Her mom grabbed her wrist and forced her to turn back to face her and her dad. She just wanted to get away from this hell, but her mom was definitely stronger than she looked. So to stop her from continuing her sentence, she said, trying to force herself not to start crying, letting go of a jerky, unsteady breath as she was talking :
"I'm behaving like a child. It's stupid. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should never have told you this, I don't know what's gotten into me. It's perfectly normal you love Neal more than me : You've raised him, while I..."
"I forbid you to say such things!" Her dad shouted, what made her go quiet as she was looking at him with wide eyes. "How can you say that? How can you think that for one second?" He wasn't looking mad, more saddened and worried, she realized
"You... You're both our children." Her mom added, tears in her eyes as she was still holding her wrist, as if she wanted to stop her from running away. "We love you the exact same way. I know it's a bit more complicated with you, because we only know you for a few years but... We love you so much, Emma. We never wanted to hurt you."
'It's just that I've just found you and I feel like I'm losing you all over again." She admitted before starting to sob, big tears running down her cheeks.
Her mom immediately took her into her arms in a maternal impulse, and Emma snuggled in her ams, without managing to calm herself down. Everything she'd kept in herself for weeks was now getting out of her all at once, and it was hurting her almost physically. Her dad joined their embrace a few seconds later, and she stayed for a long, long while crying on their shoulders, her head buried into their necks. She was hating herself for acting like a little girl. She should have been able to move past it. She was feeling guilty, but she couldn't help her feelings, and it was awful because her reaction was hurting them as well.
A few minutes went by as she was still in their arms, trying to comfort herself. She ended up pulling away from them, wiping the tears off her face with an almost angry gesture. She wanted to bang her hand against the wall. Why couldn't she keep her feelings to herself? Why couldn't she act like the grown-up she was supposed to be? Why was she always ending up hurting those she loved?
"I'm so sorry." She sniffed. "I'm being stupid..."
"No, you're not, Emma." Her mom corrected, cupping her cheek with so much softness she let go of another little sob. "It's far from being stupid, actually. If it's what you're feeling, there is an issue somewhere and we have to work this out together."
"We are so sorry, sweetheart." Her dad continued, looking like he was hardly holding his tears back. "We've never thought you were feeling that way. We should have seen it. We're going to arrange this, okay? I promise. We just want you to be happy."
"We love you so much, honey. Don't doubt that ever again, all right?"
She slowly nodded, a bit sheepishly because she was still feeling bad for reacting that way, and her mom gently stroked her cheek with her thumb, as if she was a little baby needing to be comforted. Mary-Margaret sadly smiled at her, tears shinning in her eyes, and she managed to grin back, having to fight against herself to do so. When her parents took her into their arms once again, she felt like a huge weight had suddenly left her shoulders. They only wanted her to be happy, and even if their relationship wasn't always easy, they loved her so much. She was so scared to be left alone again she was convincing herself everyone would end up leaving her. She was always feeling like she wasn't enough for anyone, and Killian was right, this had to stop. It wasn't healthy. She was loved, surrounded, and the only thing holding her back from knowing happiness was herself. She should have known it for a long time, actually : her biggest enemies were her fears, and it was about time she stopped letting them control her.
"So?"
Hook's voice made her turn to the door as she was leaning toward one of the tray laying on the the counter to take a big plate of grilled cheese and onion rings. She smiled at him as an answer as he was approaching her from behind, and stated with a little laugh, facing the food again :
"Let me just eat something before, and then I promise I'll tell you everything. But my stomach won't be happy if I stay like this, believe me."
He chuckled in her back and stepped froward to wrap his arms around her, pulling her to his chest and kissing the thin skin of her neck, making her shiver in pleasure. She enjoyed his strokes for a few seconds before finishing to take what she wanted to eat and taking her place back on the kitchen counter. She put the plate next to her and parted her legs so he could stand between them and hold her close to him.
The conversation she'd had with her parents had just ended, and she was still recovering from it. Yet, she was now very happy she'd talked to them about what was raging in her mind lately. They'd told her that everything would be okay again, that they would make sure it would be the case, but that tonight, she had to enjoy her party. They'd given her the time to pull herself together and stop crying, then had opened the door again to let the guests in. Killian hadn't been long to join her, probably seeing her parents entering the living room again. From the kitchen, she could hear the loud music and the laughter of her friends, what made her smile slightly.
She allowed herself to take a few bites from her grilled cheese and eat two onion rings as Killian was looking at her with a tenderized smile, seeming happy to see her so enthusiastic. He patiently waited for her to start talking, his hand and hook on her waist, gently stroking her skin with his thumb.
"So..." She finally started to talk, letting go of a little sight of pleasure as his hand was finding its way under her sweater to meet the bare skin of her hip. "It was pretty intense."
"You talked about your feelings?" He gently questioned her.
She hummed, swallowing a bite with an obvious pleasure. "I did. They promised me they'd do anything for me to feel good again. So we're okay now."
"That's good." He smiled, looking genuinely glad. "I'm happy to see you're feeling better."
"I am." She nodded, before looking up at him with a somewhat shy smile. "And Killian... I wanted to thank you for convincing me to tell them everything. I would never have done it without you, and now I feel so much better. So... thank you. For always being there."
"Always, love." He winked at her, and she giggled. "I could see that you were putting your armor back on. I just wanted to help you. I wish I could have done more, you know..."
"You've already done so much, babe." She cut him of with a kind smile. "Seriously. Feeling you beside me was already helping me to feel better. And you always have the right words, you always know what to say to me. And this party... You've managed to make me realize I wasn't alone anymore, and I can't tell you how damn happy it makes me."
He smiled, looking so touched by her words, and she spread her arms wide with a little giggle to silently ask for a hug. He took her into his arms and started to gently caress her back, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. They stayed for a long time snuggled against each other, not saying anything. At this point, they didn't even need words to understand each other anymore. They were just there, wrapped into a tight embrace, and that was all that mattered.
She ended up pulling a little bit away from him, and titled her head back to look at him and smile. He grinned back and pressed a kiss on the tip of her nose, what made her chuckle again. He pressed his forehead against her own and murmured against her lips :
"Come on, it's your night. Go enjoy it."
She moved to press a quick peck on his lips, and resisted the desire to deepen the kiss, pulling away from him completely. She jumped on the floor, took her plate in her hand, all her good mood back, thanks to this wonderful man. She couldn't believe everything was better all at once. In a night, she was feeling like everything had fallen into place, finally. At the end of the day, maybe she wasn't hating her birthday that much anymore.
Killian took her hand and led her to the living room, but they got stopped on their way there. Henry was standing not far from the kitchen's entrance, as if he was waiting for them to come out. He approached them and said a bit shyly, what made her frown in confusion :
"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?"
She tilted her head, more and more intrigued by his embarrassed expression. She had no idea what he wanted to talk to her about, but she could guess it was important. She turned to look at Killian, raising an eyebrow at him to ask for his opinion on the matter, but he didn't seem to know more than she did. So as an answer, he smiled, leaned to press a little kiss on the corner of her mouth and let go of her hand to say :
"I'm waiting for you in the living room."
She nodded and looked at him disappearing into the room before following her son, as he was still looking a bit nervous. He led her to the staircase, probably to find a place a bit more private. He sat down on a step, and she imitated him, placing her plate behind her before looking at him more carefully. He was looking very anxious, she noticed now that she was closer to him, and he was chewing on his bottom lip, as if he was feeling guilty for something she knew nothing about.
"Kid, you okay?" She then asked, placing a hand on his knee in a try to comfort him, not understanding what was putting him in such a state.
"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just..." He started before getting quiet, as if he was hesitating to tell her everything.
"Okay, whatever you've done, tell yourself I've probably done worse already." She joked to encourage him, and he had a small smile.
"No, it's nothing bad, don't worry." He explained, getting serious all over again. "I've just thought a lot lately and... I wanted to apologize."
"Apologize?" She repeated, shaking her head without understanding anything anymore. "For what?"
"Well..." He answered, looking surprised, probably thinking he'd been crystal clear. "I just wanted to say sorry, because I haven't been really cool with you lately, and I'm feeling bad about it."
Her lips parted in surprise as she was finally getting his words. It was true that, as he was becoming a teenager and now that he was knowing his first love with Violet, he was talking to her pretty harshly these past few weeks. They'd fought a lot, actually, as if he was trying to become more independent by pushing her away. Sure, she knew it was perfectly normal, but she couldn't help but feel a bit hurt every time he was telling bad things to her. It was as if their former bound had disappeared, and it was making her sad, because she was loving this kid so much. She could see that he was closer to Regina lately, and she knew it was natural even if it was painful to witness : she'd raised him for years after all, while she hadn't seen him grow up. He'd never seen her as a parent for years, and now that he was a teenage boy, he wasn't standing her telling him what to do. It was understandable, if she was thinking about it, but it still hurt a lot.
"I don't even know why I'm doing this." He added with a little guilty wince. "I can see you're not feeling that good, and yet I'm making things even worse for you. I'm really sorry."
She smiled at him to comfort him, tightening her grip on his leg to show him everything was okay. "Hey, don't blame yourself. You're a teenager now, it's natural that you rebel a little bit."
"I know." He chuckled as she was playfully wriggling her eyebrows at him. "But I still wanted to apologize."
"It's okay." She cut him off with a kind smile. "It's forgotten. And you haven't really crossed the line with me, you know. It's just a few arguments. You don't have to feel guilty for that."
"Thanks, Mom." he said, his smile back, looking deeply relieved.
"We should spend an afternoon just the two of us, what do you think?" She then offered. "It's been a long time since we've last done that kind of stuff."
"Oh my god, it would be awesome!" he answered with enthusiasm, what made her giggle, because she was so happy to have her son back.
"You could tell me about your story with Violet." she added with a playful wink.
"Mom!" he shouted, rolling his eyes in a falsely annoyed expression, but the smile he couldn't help but hide was denying his jaded look.
"I'm just messing with you, you know that." She laughed. "Maybe you should go and find her, by the way." She added, gesturing to the young girl, who was looking a bit awkward an uncomfortable, standing in a corner of the room, looking down at the ground. "She seems a bit lost without you. And as Killian always says, it's bad form to make a girl wait."
"You're right, he would kill me if he knew I was leaving her there." He chuckled, before getting up and offering her a relieved smile. "I'm going. Thank you so much for understanding, Mom. I love you, you know."
"I love you too, kid." She answered in a low voice, touched by this statement. "Go have fun now."
He grinned and obeyed, and she looked at him walking to go join Violet as a smile was enlightening the teenage girl's face when she saw her boyfriend approaching her. She had a small smile at the thought her son was becoming a man, and took another few minutes alone to pull herself together, as the conversation she'd just had with Henry had actually touched her deeply. She needed a bit of time to get over her emotions. She couldn't believe how fast things had changed in a night. She'd said what was weighting on her mind to her parents. Henry, whose behavior was hurting her a bit even if she hadn't admitted it to him, had come to search for her company, what hadn't happened in so long. Everything was magically falling back into place, the night of her birthday.
She ended up getting up to go join Killian, who was enthusiastically talking with her parents. He saw her approaching from far away, and greeted her by wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him, what made her smile in happiness. She was finally ready to enjoy the night.
"Good night, baby." Mary-Margaret said, holding Emma very close to her heart for a few seconds. "Sleep well. We'll talk about all of this tomorrow in front of a hot cocoa with cinnamon, okay?"
"Happy birthday again, Emma." Her dad continued, embracing her as well.
She smiled through their hugs, so happy to feel them close to her, and waved at them as they were walking away. She looked at them disappearing into the darkness of the street. It was late. The house, that'd been brightened by laughter and music for a few hours, was now calm again as the last guests had just gotten home. A smile she couldn't hide on her lips, she closed the front door and felt two strong arms wrapping around her from behind.
"Did you have fun?" Killian asked to her ear, but he already knew the answer, she was sure of it. She'd laughed and joked during the entire evening, finally feeling happy after days spent in the dark. They'd even shared a few dances together, as he was making her spin around to the sound of music and she was giggling like a teenage girl knowing her first love.
"Is that really a question?" She laughed. "I loved the party. Thanks for everything, Killian."
"It was my pleasure, princess." He said, and she chuckled as he was burying his nose in her hair. "I'm just glad to see you happy again."
She pulled a little bit away from him to turn in his arms and face him, and grabbed the collar of his shirt to tug him closer to her. Looking up behind his shoulders, she had a slight wince and let go of a frustrated groan. Their house was an indescribable mess now that everyone was gone. Everywhere she looked, dirty plates were piling up, in the middle of plastic cups and empty bottles.
"I can't believe we have to tidy everything, now." She said, wondering how they'd be able to make this place clean again.
"We'll take care of it tomorrow." Killian answered in a soft tone. "But for now, I have something to ask you. Can you turn around, please?"
"Why?" She asked, intrigued by the mysterious look he was offering her.
"Because I have a surprise for you"
"Again? You know that, technically speaking, it's not my birthday anymore, right?" She gently scoffed, gesturing to the clock that was indicating the middle of the night.
He snorted at her comment and shook his head. "Stop arguing and do as I say." He ordered in a falsely annoyed tone, denied by the big grin spreading on his lips.
She smiled, amused by their little game, and obeyed, wondering what he had in mind. After a few seconds of quiet, she felt the cold touch of a piece of jewelry against the skin of her neck. Surprised, she startled a little and looked down to discover he'd placed a necklace around her neck. He pushed her hair over one of her shoulder to attach the marvel, surprisingly easily given the fact he only had one hand. He then took the time to place a kiss on her shoulder, and wrapped his arms around her waist as she was taking the silver jewel in between her fingers.
It was a little silver chain, all simple and classy, on which were hanging two little, beautiful pendants. The first one was a small feather, shaped so gracefully into the metal it was giving the illusion it was flying in the air, carried by a gentle wind. The second one was an anchor, all strong and straight, and seemed to be able to survive any storm. Placed beside one another, it was giving a gorgeous yin-yang feel to the necklace.
"It's... Killian, it's stunning." She whispered, turning to face her boyfriend, absolutely amazed by this gift. He offered her a smirk, one of those that was always making butterflies appear in her stomach, seeming pretty proud of himself.
"It made me think of us." He explained, cupping her cheek as she was still looking down at the jewel in awe. "The feather for the swan, the anchor for the sailor... I thought it was making sense for us."
"I love it." She murmured, staring at the item for a few more seconds before looking up at him and saying as a promise. "I will never take it off."
He just smiled, and a few seconds passed during which they just stared at each other, falling into a comfortable silence. Her breathing got faster as she found herself unable to look away from his deep, blue eyes. The air got thick around them. She suddenly wanted to throw herself into his arms. She wanted him, right there, right now. She wanted to feel him against her. She just wanted to start kissing him, as if her body had taken control over her mind and was begging for his warm, familiar embrace.
He was however the first one to break the short distance between them. He kissed her with such passion her back hit the front door behind her. She moaned in pleasure as his hand was going under her sweater, and her own fingers tickled the thin skin of his neck. The kisses became more and more demanding, as if they couldn't stand the thought of being separated. It was happening, sometimes, this urgent and strong desire to get together. It could appear anywhere, anytime, and when they were in public, she was finding it really hard to not start kissing him in front of everybody. But this time, they were alone. She didn't have to restrain herself, and she had to admit she liked that a lot
They were both definitely too eager to go up into their room. She started to moan louder as his mouth was nibbling at her ear, and could feel his growing arousal pressed against her lower stomach. The fire burning inside her was becoming too strong to handle. With a groan, she pushed herself up and wrapped both her legs around his waist as he was lifting her up from the floor, carrying her to the kitchen table, on which he almost carefully laid her down, his eyes darkened with lust.
Laying on their bed, still naked and only covered by the thin sheets, Emma Swan was snuggled against Killian's bare chest. After their quite enjoyable activities in the kitchen, they'd moved it to the bedroom, where they'd started the same thing all over again. Exhausted, she was now slowly falling asleep, looking at the night sky softly clearing by the window. Hook was gently caressing her side with his right hand, as she was drawing little arabesques on his bare chest with her forefinger. The house was completely quiet, and the only sounds breaking the perfect silence were their uneven, jerky breaths.
This night had changed her, she thought. It had made her think about her future, about herself, about her family. She'd finally understood she had to stop being afraid. To progress in life, she had to trust those she loved. She mentally promised herself to never let a situation get that bad ever again. If she had a problem, she had to talk about it right away and not let herself sink into the sadness like she'd done lately. Her parents cared about her, she had friends, a man she loved so much, she wasn't alone anymore. She couldn't let the memory of the lonely, unhappy young woman blowing her candles alone, haunt her. She was holding her back from living her happiness completely, and it couldn't go on like that. Her life had changed so much, unexpectedly, but definitely for the best. She deserved the be happy. She had to stop being afraid. No one would never leave her again.
"You okay?" Killian whispered in the silence of the room, guessing she was thinking about something important.
"Mmm." She hummed as an answer, snuggling a bit closer to him.
He kissed the top of her head. "What are you thinking about, darling?"
"I'm ready." She answered in a murmur, without realizing she wasn't being clear at all.
"Ready for what?" He gently asked her.
"Ready to be happy."
She felt him move beside her, and looked up at him to lose herself into the blue of his eyes. In his glance, she read an endless love, and also a huge pride. He knew she'd just started a fight against her inner demons, and he knew how hard it was for her. Happy, she smiled at him and, without adding anything, she cupped his face to start kissing him slowly again.
Here we go guys, I hope you liked this! I loved working on this little story, so don't hesitate to leave a review to tell me your thoughts about this!
See you very very soon!