Maureen Johnson

World Lit

Directional Essay

How to Jump Over the Moon

Jumping over the moon is a difficult task especially when it is done wrong. Well if you read this essay and follow all the steps correctly you will learn how to properly and successfully jump over the moon. Now before you go whole hog and go out to buy a rocket ship or anything else from NASA you are going to be taught to do it a much simpler, more effective, and less costly approach.

Now in order to truly jump over the moon you need to be in the moment the "Now" focus on making that leap and on nothing else. If it helps your meditation process feel free to grab a single drumstick and a cowbell and create a nice soothing beat. Slowly breath in and out thinking of the moon and of nothing else. Because all in all meditation is the key to performing this great feat. After you are calm and relaxed close your eyes and continue you're slow breathes.

If the first step was done properly you should find your self thinking about a desert. You can name the desert whatever you wish but most people for some reason choose Cyberland.

If you are picturing yourself in this desert you should be feeling hot from the sun beating down upon you. But remain calm this is all part of the process required for jumping over the moon. But, just keep thinking about the desert walk through the desert explore till you come to an abyss. Now I am going to remind you once more this will only happen if all steps are done properly.

A cow should come from the abyss her name is Elsie and she is your ride to getting over the moon. Sure it seems crazy but it is true just trust reliable old Elsie she is better than any Superman. She will approach you and as she does this you will start to feel thirsty. This is natural after all you are in a desert and your canteen it appears to have sprung a leak.

You should now try to be kind to Elsie, so be polite when you ask her if she has anything to drink and don't be mad at the response you will receive from her. Most cases that usually involve Cyberland Elsie can't help you quench her thirst. This is because in Cyberland she is forbidden to produce milk. But, if you really are that thirsty the generous hosts in Cyberland will be more than happy to offer you Diet Coke we suggest you decline if you really want to jump over the moon.

Since you now are with Elsie we suggest you start traveling with her she will lead you to where you need to go to make the jump. She will tell you that the only thing to do is jump over the moon using a leap of faith. It may sound crazy but you really should listen to her she knows exactly what she is talking about.

During your wanderings with Elsie you will approach a highway that only a single car will drive past you. Do NOT go anywhere near this car if you want to jump over the moon. To give you a better idea as to what the car looks like it is a yellow rental truck packed with fertilizer and fuel oil. The driver will look oddly like Mickey Mouse. As we have warned previously do not go near this car.

Now if all these steps have been done you are halfway to being able to jump over the moon. Now to get the best effect start chanting to yourself over and over again "Leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith etc," This will bring you into a truly relaxed state of mind that is needed to jump over the moon.

From here the desert landscape will fade away but Elsie will stay with you. Once your new surroundings have appeared take a look at all the sites you can see. It should be very bright and colorful like out of a children's book because it is.

If you have done all your steps correctly you will be in a land of Nursery Rhymes. There will be a cat on a fiddle named Marty, the dish and the spoon are happily wed. They along with Elsie will help you make your journey over the moon.

Elsie will ask your consent if you would like to jump over the moon and you can accept or decline but considering you've gotten this far you should accept. She will let you climb onto her back and she will prepare to make the leap. We suggest you take one last look at the surroundings your in look at the beautiful harvest moon.

Now you should hold on tight because for a cow Elsie is very, very, very fast. She will give you some warning but not much so hold on tight as she leaps out of orbit.

You should now be almost over the moon congratulations you did it. Not everyone does at least on the first try great job!

Maureen finished reading her paper to the class and she smiled just then the bell rung quickly she ran to get her stuff from her desk when. "Ms. Johnson may I speak to you for a moment?" Her teacher Mr. Whitman call over to her. She approached him smiling "Yes?" "When I told you to write a directional essay I didn't think it would be something like this... Why couldn't you have done something normal such as what Mr. Davis or Mr. Cohen did?" He asked her . Maureen stopped grinning "Because being normal is boring I don't get how Roger could write a three page paper on how to write a song!" She glared at Mr. Whitman. "You'll see my paper will be something important one day!" She stormed out of the classroom. Mr. Whitman just sighed.

7 year later

Maureen's Protest was a smash even though Benny had gotten a lot of people arrested it was the best protest or at least in her mind. Because she was right one day her directional essay from her Sophomore year at Scarsdale High was important.

A/N You like don't like? This is a one shot from a directional essay I just wrote for world lit and I turned it into a one shot yay!