AN: hi friends. another kumirei story, but this time, it's multi-chap! and i actually finished! it's a miracle! i actually completed the story a while back, and intended to post it as a big oneshot, but i thought it would be better to post in chapters. the main story is roughly four chapters long, and i'm considering about creating an extra chapter. this has been, to say the least, a very personal project of mine in more ways than one. all the relationships portrayed in this story isn't necessarily what i ship, but they all serve a purpose in telling the story. i hope that you guys enjoy.
unforatunately, ff isn't the best for formatting. so i recc reading it on AO3.
Kumiko never got much in the mail.
Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. Kumiko did get mail (she wasn't that much of a recluse), but mail, more often than not, disappointed her. Whenever she went down to her PO box as part of her morning routine, her mailbox would hold bills, bills, the newspaper if it was Sunday, a sheet of coupons if she was lucky, and even more bills. Checking her mail was always a dreary start to her day (although, Kumiko had to admit, she did get giddy whenever she saw the coupons because who wouldn't want a buy-one-get-one-free meal?), and it was certainly not one of the most eventful aspects of her life.
If anything, checking the mail reminded her of the struggles of young adulthood, and that never failed to get Kumiko down.
Kumiko stifled a yawn as she trudged down the stairs of her apartment complex, clad in her pajamas and rabbit slippers. She tasted the inside of her mouth, scrunching her nose at the rancid flavor; maybe she should have brushed her teeth before going down.
But then again, no one would be down except for the landlady on a Saturday morning.
Kumiko grunted as she pushed through the stairwell entrance, the door creaking with protest. The smell of lemon-scented cleaner and sunlight greeted her. She squinted as the door slammed shut behind her, trying to get used to the sudden change of scenery.
"Kumiko-chan?"
An elderly woman poked her head out the counter that overlooked the entire lobby (which wasn't much in the first place). The chains of her glasses rattled, and the sound made Kumiko smile.
"Mornin', Gram," Kumiko greeted.
The wrinkles on Gram's face made way for a smile. "Aren't you on break for college? Why are you up so early?"
Kumiko gave a one-shouldered shrug as she shuffled her way over to the PO lockers next to the counter. "It's a habit now, I guess," she said, fishing for her keys in her pajama pocket.
Gram chuckled. "Well, it's a good thing you're here so early. Here"—Kumiko looked back at Gram and saw that she was holding out Tupperware full of food—"for you."
"Thanks," Kumiko said with a crooked smile as she took it.
It was still warm.
"You take care of yourself, hm?" Gram said.
"I will."
Gram's laughter filled the air as her head disappeared from view. Kumiko's smile, on the other hand, stayed where it was, even when she struggled to open her mailbox.
Kumiko never knew her grandparents, maternal and paternal. Gram was the closest thing she ever had to one, and, quite frankly, Kumiko loved her with all her heart. Though their conversations were mostly short-lived, Kumiko always felt at-ease whenever she was around Gram.
"Oh crap." Kumiko watched as her mailbox vomited its contents on the floor, envelopes and sheets of coupons scattering everywhere. She sighed and rested her food inside her locker, bending down to scoop her mail in a haphazard pile she tucked under her armpit.
As she stood up to take the Tupperware and shut the locker, she noticed her food rested on a lilac-colored envelope.
Kumiko's heart lurched in her chest.
The color purple made her uneasy because it reminded her of high school.
And high school reminded Kumiko of her.
A chill went down Kumiko's spine as she gathered her food and the envelope. Sparing the front of it a quick glance, she noticed that there was no return address, and the only thing decorating the envelope was her name and PO box address in flawless cursive.
Kumiko couldn't deny how clammy her hands were getting as she tucked the letter with the rest of the mail. She had to wipe them on her pajamas when she stuffed her mailbox keys into her pocket.
You're stupid for getting antsy over a letter, a part of her jeered. It's words on paper. It's like the other things that you get in the mail. What's so special about this one? The possibility that it might be from her?
Kumiko didn't know the answer to her own question as she flung the door open.
-X-
The heat her living room was suffocating.
Even with the miniature fan blowing at her face on full blast, Kumiko felt sweat rolling down the back of her neck. It was almost eleven now, and on a normal day, Kumiko would have been in the bathroom enjoying a blood-chilling shower.
Instead, she was staring at the purple envelope like an idiot.
Kumiko didn't know what she was expecting. It's an envelope, said Logic, and it's going to sit there like all the other envelopes beside you. It isn't going to grow a mouth and start screeching at you.
She took a breath and decided to listen to Logic for once. With a gentle hand, she grabbed the envelope and swept a finger under the flap to break the seal. She took the letter out of its purple case gingerly, and unfolded it as if it were text from a time long forgotten.
Kumiko,
You probably won't be expecting this letter. But, knowing you, you probably don't receive many letters in the first place (and no, bills don't count).
I would start out by saying that it's been a long time, but that's something that the both of us know. There's no need to be redundant when it comes to correspondence; there's only so much space on a piece of paper.
I'm writing to you now because I want you to know that I'm back from my time abroad so that I can finish my studies here. You would think that homesickness would go away after two years of being in a foreign country, but there was always something pulling me back here.
You can find my mailing address below.
Reina.
Kumiko's lungs froze once she reached the end of the letter.
She had a gut feeling that this letter was from her.
She knew it
She expected it.
She anticipated it.
Why couldn't she believe it?
Kumiko found herself scanning the letter over and over again. Each time she did, the stitches she sutured on her heart began to snap with every word. She had to put the letter down, lest her wounds reopened.
She sunk into her couch and sighed.
She mused that if Reina had sent this letter a year earlier, Past Kumiko would have been over the moon sobbing her eyes off with snot dribbling down her nose. She would have been so happy, touched, and relieved.
Present Kumiko's, on the other hand, didn't know what to feel. She didn't know if she was happy, touched, or relieved. Hell, she didn't even know if she felt anything positive toward this turn of events.
She honestly has the audacity to send you a letter after all this time? It's been nearly two years, Anger fumed.
But why a letter of all things? Confusion asked.
At you least know she's doing well, Optimism whispered. It could be a chance to find some answers….
Frustrated at her thoughts, Kumiko got up from her coach with a sigh.
Maybe a cold shower would cool you down, Logic suggested.
For the second time, Kumiko agreed with Logic and shuffled to the bathroom.
-X-
Call Transcript
Asuka Tanaka → Kumiko Oumae
12:33 PM
AT: Hello? Oumae-chan?
KO: [voice sounds far away] Guh—ah! [rustling is heard, and her voice is clearer] Hi, I'm here.
AT: Did I startle you? [laughs]
KO: More like scared the living shit out of me because my phone rang on full-blast right next to my ear. Think my soul's on the floor with the rest of my stuff.
AT: Well, that's not good. Sorry about that.
KO: [scoffs] No you're not.
AT: It's the thought that counts.
KO: So…why'd you call?
AT: What do you mean why did I call? It's time for our monthly talk, Oumae-chan!
KO: That time already?
AT: Indeed! Shall I start?
KO: If you want. [rustling is heard once again, and her speech sounds muffled] Crap, the pen's under the desk...
AT: Mm…what haven't I told you yet?
KO: [muffled] A lot.
AT: [with light sarcasm] How specific.
KO: Well…has school ended for you, yet?
AT: While ago. About…two weeks ago, I think?
KO: [still muffled] Really? Same here.
AT: But Kaori's on her last week this week. Since her university started late and all.
KO: [rustling] That kind of—[a loud bang is heard] OW, FUCK!
AT: [laughs raucously] A-are you—[sharp inhale]—o-okay?
KO: [groans] Never better. [rustling once more, and then her voice is clearer] Glad to see you haven't changed since the last time we've spoke.
AT: Why would I ever?
KO: Good point. Are you still working on majoring in music?
AT: [in English] Of course!
KO: You're doing…instrumental performance, right?
AT: Indeed! Although, I did consider instrumental conducting.
KO: You?
AT: Hm? What's with that tone?
KO: Well, it's just surprising, you know. Seeing you lead a band isn't really the first thing that comes to mind.
AT: Why's that? In case you've forgotten, I was drum major during your first year.
KO: Well, I don't know. I think it's because whenever I think of band director, I think of Taki-sensei, you know? Someone serious, full of tough love and secrets, but always has good intentions, you know?
AT: [chuckles]
KO: W-what?
AT: It's funny how you remember a lot about high school.
KO: Is that…bad?
AT: No, not at all. It means you're observant. [chuckles] I don't even remember half the things that happened during those three years.
KO: [laughs nervously] Well, a lot of things worth remembering happened during high school….
[A door opening and closing in the background is heard]
AT: Welcome back!
?: [very faint] Who's that?
AT: Oumae-chan.
?: Oh! Tell her I said hi. It's been a while.
AT: Kaori says hi.
KO: Hi, Kaori-senpai.
AT: She says hi.
KN: [sounds closer] I know, Asuka, you have her on speaker.
AT: Just making sure. [laughs] How was class?
KN: Same thing as usual. Boring. Tiring.
KO: What're you studying, Kaori-senpai?
KN: Business management. I want to open my own café one day.
KO: I can see that happening. I'll be sure to stop by once you open it.
KN: [laughs] Thanks. Hey, Asuka?
AT: Hm?
KN: Is Haruka here?
AT: In the room. She has the PM shift for the shop today, so she's probably resting.
KN: Oh okay. I'll leave you two with your "monthly talk." [laughter]
[Shuffling is heard, and in the distance, another door is heard opening and closing.]
AT: Okay, you're off speaker now.
KO: Did you always have me on speaker?
AT: Only when Kaori was inside. [chuckle]
KO: …Why?
AT: Why not?
KO: [sighs] I'm not going to continue with this line of questioning.
AT: [laugh] Anyways, what's new with you?
KO: Eh, you know….
AT: No, I don't.
KO: Well, er, school ended.
AT: You already told me that.
KO: Oh. Right.
AT: Did…something happen?
KO: Well, yeah. But it's not anything bad…I think.
AT: You think?
KO: Well, I got a letter.
AT: [laughter] How old-fashioned.
KO: And it's from Reina.
[Silence]
AT: Now I can see how that's a problem.
KO: Glad we're on the same page. [laughs half-heartedly]
AT: So…what're you going to do? Reply to her?
KO: That's what I've been trying to do for the past…hour and a half.
AT: Knowing you, you probably haven't made any progress.
KO: Went through an entire packet of stationary. Still nothing.
AT: [whistles] Those poor trees.
KO: [laughs] That's what you're worried about?
AT: Trees are very important for the environment, Oumae-chan.
KO: Okay, you got me there.
AT: So…. [pause] How are you feeling? About all this?
KO: Honestly? I don't know what to feel.
AT: I'm listening.
KO: It's just—God, I don't know—so complicated. Like, why now? Like, I understand why now because she just came back from studying abroad, but, like, why now? You know? She just disappeared without a trace, even after all that shit that happened between us in high school, she just had the audacity to just go up and leave and—[sniffles] G-God, it just hurt, Asuka. It hurt so much….
AT: [softly] I bet it did.
KO: L-like, I know she wants to pursue music and she's so stubbornly set on being special, whatever the hell that means. But she could have said something, you know? [strained laughter] It's kind of ironic, you know. I always told her that if I ever left her side, that would give her the right to kill me. But I don't think it ever crossed my mind what I would do if she ever left me.
AT: [still quiet] I'm sorry, Kumiko.
KO: [quietly] She never said goodbye. She didn't break our relationship off. She left a note and she was gone. Like the wind.
AT: [in her regular volume] Maybe she didn't know how to break up.
KO: Maybe.
AT: Or maybe she thought that when she came back, everything would be normal again between the both of you.
KO: [sighs] Maybe.
AT: Or maybe she was abducted by aliens.
KO: Okay, now you're just pulling shit out of your ass. [weak laughter]
AT: Anything for my precious protégé.
KO: Gee, thanks.
[Pause]
AT: Say, Kumiko?
KO: Mm?
AT: I—mm—Sorry. For not being a bigger help. Haruka and Kaori are better at this than I am. [chuckles]
KO: It's okay. You listening to me is more than enough.
AT: 'm glad about that.
KO: Me too.
AT: We'll talk later then, hm?
KO: Yeah. Later.
AT: Take care of yourself, Kumiko.
KO: You too, senpai.
Call End
1:26 PM
Kumiko sighed and set her phone facedown on her desk.
Despite how liberating venting to Asuka was, Kumiko suddenly felt very sluggish and drained.
Maybe taking a nap would ease her for a bit. She could worry about the letter later.
With another sigh, Kumiko wiped away a stray tear that rested on her cheek. She raised herself from her chair, and shuffled her way over to her unmade bed. She collapsed on the mattress and took a deep breath.
The moment she closed her eyes, she was out like a light.
-X-
lights are blinding
you always knew that
but you also knew that
her radiance was
something greater
she was brighter
than the town lights
on a dark evening
she was brighter
than the sun
on a summer's afternoon
she was brighter
than your alarm
on an early morning
her brilliance showed
in the smallest of gestures
like whenever she
brushed back her hair or
spoke to you or
played her trumpet
like the sun
you thought
she would stay
but
the sun always sets at night
and there will be a time when
it won't rise
it was cloudy the morning she left
and the only thing that
brilliant girl left was
a purple note with the words
"i'm leaving today, i love you"
the hole she left in your heart was
bigger than a black hole
and whenever you walk by
the old rendezvous you remember
that the brilliant girl is
no
longer
there
-X-
Kumiko woke with a start when she heard her phone vibrating against her desk.
Groaning, she rolled off her bed, clumsily landing on her feet. She shuffled her way over to her phone, and picked it up.
A reminder for her to go buy groceries at 5:30 PM was printed on the lock screen of her phone.
Kumiko sighed as she rubbed the sleep out of one eye. Almost a three-hour nap and she still felt tired.
Her eyes hovered over to the blank stationery sitting on her desk, and opted to ignore the pile of crumpled papers next to it.
Work on it later, a voice told her, it'll still be there tonight.
Without saying a word, Kumiko threw on a nearby hoodie, grabbed her wallet, and walked out her room.
As she shut the door behind her, Kumiko wondered if Reina was just as bright as she remembered.
-X-
"Kumiko?"
Kumiko stopped in her tracks before she exited the grocery store. Turning her head, she saw a familiar face—and horrible-looking pants.
"Natsuki-senpai," Kumiko said with a growing smile. She noticed how Natsuki's hair now curled under her chin in a messy bob. Kumiko thought it suited her. "When did you come back from Tokyo?"
"Got back a couple of days ago." Natsuki said as she walked alongside Kumiko out the store.
"How's college?"
Natsuki shrugged and shoved her hands into her pants. "Well, it's school. So boring. Tiring."
A sense of déjà vu hit Kumiko. "Seems to be a popular thought."
"Well, ain't much you can say about it." Natsuki laughed. "Honestly, I've been thinking about dropping out."
Kumiko widened her eyes. "Really?"
Natsuki nodded. "School just isn't for me. Even back in high school, the only thing that really kept me in was band. Everything else about school isn't my forte—music pun intended."
Kumiko cracked a smile at the quip. Natsuki's down-to-earth sense of humor was something she missed.
"Say, do you still play?" Natsuki suddenly asked, kicking the pebbles that dared to stand in her way.
Kumiko blinked. "U-uh, what? Euph?"
"No." Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Duh, euph. What else? Trumpet?"
Kumiko forced out a laugh to mask the sound of another stitch on her heart snapping. Natsuki's comment was too soon. "O-oh r-right. Yeah, I still play. Once or twice a week, running through several scales, long tones. Sometimes I even go through an old song or learn a new one if I really feel like it."
"Wow," Natsuki began with a chuckle, "you're still pretty dedicated, huh?"
"You can say that."
"I honestly think that the last time I've touched an instrument was…when I last visited Yuuko in Osaka about two months ago? She said I sounded like a rusty motor."
Kumiko raised an eyebrow. "You visit Yuuko-senpai?"
"A-ah, yeah, well"—Natsuki turned into a bashful shade of red as she scratched the back of her neck—"we're kind of…dating?"
Kumiko felt a burning sensation under her gut. "Really? Since when?"
"Mm…last month was our first year anniversary. We got together sometime after we graduated. It's a pretty long story." Natsuki laughed again. "Looking back on it, it's kind of funny. We used to hate each other's guts back when we first met. Now, we're together. We've come a long way since high school."
Kumiko found herself wishing that she could relate.
The embers in her gut combusted into a flame.
"Does…this change who I am to you?"
Kumiko blinked, and she turned to Natsuki. "What? No, of course not."
The tension in Natsuki's eyes melted as she laughed. "Oh, good. You looked upset, so I thought it was because I was dating, you know, another girl. Haven't told my parents yet, so I'm still on edge about the whole thing."
She's not entirely wrong, something whispered in her ear, about her dating another girl. Because that should have been—
Kumiko mentally slapped herself.
"No, don't worry about it. I mean, I'm kind of in the same boat." Kumiko chuckled.
"You gay?" It felt more like a statement than a question.
"Yeah."
"Explains why you always ignored Tsukamoto's advances. Or, 'advances'." Natsuki curled her fingers into air quotes and laughed. "That guy was kinda pathetic. Made me almost feel sorry for him."
Kumiko gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I'm sure he found someone by now."
Their conversation died once they stopped at a corner. Natsuki pointed across the street. "My place's thattaway."
"Mine's the opposite way," Kumiko said, pointing with her thumb.
"Looks this is where we part."
"Seems like it."
"Don't be a stranger, okay?" Natsuki grinned and tapped Kumiko's shoulder with her fist. "I know you still have my number. Don't be afraid to call."
Kumiko smiled and nodded. "Got it."
"Natsuki!"
The both of them looked in the direction of the voice, and across the street, Kumiko saw the faint figure of a woman, wearing a comically-large ribbon in her hair, waving.
The flame in Kumiko's gut grew, and she suddenly recognized the sensation.
Jealousy.
Natsuki waved back. "I'll be there!" She cried out. She turned to Kumiko and gave a salute. "See you 'round, kid."
Kumiko lamely waved back, watching as Natsuki jogged across the street once she was prompted to do so.
Kumiko ignored the bitter taste in her mouth as she turned around.
That should have been you and her, Jealousy jeered. You wish you had that, didn't you?
"Shut up," Kumiko mumbled under her breath.
Jealousy said nothing else, but the flame still burned her gut.
-X-
Kumiko sighed, running a hand through her hair, and read over the letter she finally finished. It was certainly not the best response, Kumiko thought, but an answer was better than none.
Hi, Reina.
If I'm being honest, I have no idea how to write a letter. It took me much longer than it should have to write this.
But here goes, I guess.
It's been two years since you left, and well, a lot has happened since then. I don't know if you're interested (because you were never into that sort of thing in high school), but I need something to talk about to fill the space on the page.
I'm in college now. I moved out of Uji, but I'm still a two-hour train ride away. I wanted to get out and see new faces, but I still see some familiar ones once in awhile, like Natsuki-senpai (her family moved after she graduated and it just so happened to be in the same town as me, so I see her around when she's not in Tokyo for college).
Midori-chan moved to England for college. Hazuki-chan is still in Uji, I think. It's been awhile since I last called those two. I don't know where Shuuichi went. He's somewhere.
You know, I'm surprised that you moved back to Uji. I always had the feeling that you didn't want to come back to a town like that. Something like that.
Anyways, welcome back. Tell me something new.
Kumiko
Stifling a yawn, Kumiko folded the letter into thirds and tucked it into a nearby envelope. She scribbled Reina's address in the middle and her own address in the corner. After she sealed the envelope, she made her way to her bed and collapsed.
Is it safe to talk to her after two years? Fear asked as Kumiko crawled under the sheets. What if she leaves you again? For good? How would that feel? You know how heart-broken you were when she left.
The thought chilled Kumiko.
She came back for a reason, Logic piqued. She said that in her letter.
Pessimism scoffed. Probably not for you.
Logic couldn't think of a rebuttal.
Well, whatever the reason, Optimism began, all that matters is that she's back.
But for how long? Fear asked.
A chill went down Kumiko's spine, and she burrowed herself in her sheets, despite the heat.
No one answered Fear.