So this is just something I felt like writing after two bags of Skittles and a cup of coffee...
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Labyrinth. (Yes the title did come from My Chemical Romance's song "Vampire Money")
Please drop me a review...
As much as Jareth wanted to answer the wish of the pretty 15-year-old girl he'd been creeping at the park that afternoon, something else called to him. A disturbance in the glitter. A vampire-wannabe taking some of his sparkles! This was far more important than any baby…
With a well-placed puff of magical angst, the Goblin King was transported to an open meadow where two hormonally-confused teenagers were laying, staring pointlessly at each other. The "male" looked like he wanted to eat the girl sitting adjacent to him. "YOU!" Jareth pointed to the boy, "You have been taking my sparkles in vain!"
"What?" the wannabe asked, "I'm just trying to resist my nearly-nonexistent sex drive right now!"
Now Jareth had become extremely confused. "Who are you?" he asked the younger man.
"I am Edward Cullen. I am every girl's dream. Actually, that's how I came to be. Some desperate middle-aged woman dreamt me up and wrote it all down. She then turned it into four award winning books/movies that tweens are madly in love with. Of course my girlfriend Bella here is very boring and drab so that any girl can pretend to be her. Who are you?" Edward replied.
"I am Jareth, the Goblin King!" Jareth said, adding a sexy cape-flourish for good luck. "I kidnap bad people's siblings and make that person run through a confusing maze full of helpful yet ditzy puppet creatures. In the maze, they discover themselves and by the time it's all over, I act like a pedophile and get rejected!"
"Nice," Edward nodded, impressed. Jareth, who enjoyed having his ego petted (it was a rather soft and cuddly ego) hauled Edward to his feet and clapped him on the back in a manly fashion.
"Wanna come over and see the Labyrinth?" he asked Edward.
"Sure!"
And they disappeared, leaving behind an apple, a peach, and a shower of iridescent glitter. Bella, annoyed and sort of upset that her Mary Sue tactics hadn't worked on the cute vampire, ate the apple and the peach. She began to have strange hallucinations about wearing a big dress and her friend Jacob Black turning into a wolf.
Edward, meanwhile, decided to stay in the Underground where he and Jareth could sparkle freely without being judged.