Chapter 1. Acting
June 21,2011
I've only been acting for a long time. Since I was seven I've been just acting. It was all an act. All a lie. I lied to him and I lied to myself. I know it's wrong. I know I have no right to say those three words to him. I know it's illegal. I know he could go to jail under more than just one charge. I know it would ruin our reputations. I know society would never accept it. For more than one reason it would not be accepted. I know I would cause a lot of trouble for him. I know that there's no reason for me to tell him. I know this makes me a horrible person. I know all these things...yet I continue to love him.
I love him. This love...it fills my heart. Ever since I was seven years old he has filled my line of view. My eyes chase after him. I can spot him in a crowd of more than 1000 people. I can find him as if he's the only person in the room at the school entrance ceremony. I have loved him and only him,100% just him for seven years. It's wrong to love him. I can spot him in a crowd of exactly 1,814 people during an entrance ceremony,but next year...I won't be able to do that anymore next year.
He is 5 years older than me...next year he starts college. Next year we won't be in the same school. I've been in the same school as him since I was six years old. We go to an escalator school. We don't have to worry about entrance exams until our 13th year of school when we are third years in high school. We get a smooth ride into the next year. Into the next grade. We have no worries of choosing and trying to get into a middle school or high school of our choice. Our lives are easy as long as we're good students and pass every grade. If we fail a grade there is a possibility we may be kicked out,so everyone tries their hardest and does very well to stay with our friends. Next year I will be in my third year of middle school and he will be in his first year of college. Right now he is taking entrance exams. I am wishing him luck and encouraging him to do his absolute best. I will miss seeing him everyday,but I'm happy for him. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Ludwig Beilschmidt
Germany sighs,takes off his glasses and tucks his journal away in the bottom drawer of his desk and locks it. Prussia knocks on his door,"hey,west,can I come in?"
Germany picks up his book and opens it to a random page,"ja,what is it,bruder?"
Prussia opens the door and peeks inside,"west...you aren't wearing your glasses,that's bad for your eyes..."
"They were giving me a head ache. I just took them off,I'll be fine."
"Your glasses gave you a head ache? That's unusual...do you need a new prescription? I can take you tomorrow since we don't have school..."
"No,it's alright,bruder. I'm okay. I think it's just because I've been reading for a long time. " Germany says with a small,thankful smile,"anyway...was there something you wanted?"
Prussia smiles and steps into the room. He walks over to Germany and runs his fingers through his hair,"no,not really. I was just checking on you. It's late though Ludwig...you should get some rest."
"Okay. I'll go to sleep in a little bit." Germany says quietly,looking up at Prussia,"I'm just going to read a bit more,okay?"
"Ja,okay." Prussia says as he runs his fingers through Germany's hair again. Prussia leans down and lightly kisses Germany's forehead,"sleep well." He then goes back to his own room.