There Are Many Things That I Would Like to Say to You
A/N: This story takes place immediately after Season 2 episode 19 "Brown Betty". I do not own Fringe, the song "Wonderwall", or "Finding Nemo".
Enjoy!
"Now, what do you say to Uncle Walter and Miss Astrid for playing with you today?"
"Thank you for playing with me today. I had a lot of fun." Ella said, taking Olivia's outstretched hand.
"Anytime Ella," Astrid smiled. Walter nodded in their direction and gave a distracted grunt.
"Thank you, again." Olivia smiled apologetically.
"Bye Uncle Walter, bye Miss Astrid." Ella waved.
"Come one, sweetheart. Let's go have that pizza and movie date I promised." With that, the F.B.I agent and her six year old niece made their way out of the Kresge Building.
Once they were both seated in the car, Olivia let Ella select the music, figuring that she would pick from either the random assortment of CDs or the radio.
"Aunt Liv, I want this one," Ella declared, handing Olivia a CD. Not bothering to look at it, she popped it into the player. Within seconds, acoustic strumming filled the car, making Olivia's blood run cold.
"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now"
"Ella, what CD did you pick?" Olivia hesitantly asked, praying that she wasn't right.
"It said 'Trust me, you'll like it. From Peter' on the case." Ella stated, not detecting the strained tone of her aunt's voice.
Indeed she did like it, in fact she loved it. Peter had made her a playlist for her birthday this year. He would tease her relentlessly that she never listened to music and then deciding that if they were going to be friends, she would have to start. Really, it was nothing more than a simple track of songs that he'd selected for her from his infinite library of music. Yet it had meant the world to her.
"What made you pick that one?" Olivia asked, trying to shake the sinking feeling that was beginning to set in her heart.
"I don't know, because Uncle Peter is good at music stuff I guess." She said.
"He is indeed, "Olivia lightly chuckled.
"He said that he would teach me piano next time I came to work with you. But he wasn't there today so I didn't learn." Ella said in a slightly disappointed tone which Olivia immediately caught.
"Oh, well maybe next time," Knowing full well that there might not be a next time.
Olivia and Ella fell silent and let the music fill the gap.
"I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall"
"So how's school coming along?" Olivia asked, changing the subject.
This got Ella talking and also effectively distracting Olivia from the music. The young girl launched into elaborate tales of her teachers, her friends, and the annoyance of an older Scottish boy named Simon who was the teacher's nephew.
"And anytime we're at recess, he always wants us to pretend we're on a weird island that nobody knows about." Ella continued with an exacerbated voice as they pulled into the parking lot for Damiano's. Olivia did her best not to think of Peter when she opened the door to one of their favorite haunts.
The hostess led them to a booth and they continued chatting about Ella's class when their waitress appeared, unfortunately recognizing Olivia instantly.
"Well, hi there. I haven't seen you around in a while. Where's that guy that always comes in with you?" She inquired with a toothy grin.
"I'm afraid it's just my niece and me tonight." Olivia responded with a tight smile.
Thankfully, the waitress got the message and let the subject of Peter drop. Deciding take their order instead. Eventually their food and drinks came.
"So, what did you do in the lab today?" Olivia asked as she bit into her slice of pizza.
"First me and Miss Astrid-"
"Aunt Astrid and I,"
"Aunt Astrid and I, played operation." Ella said with an eye roll as she took a sip of her Shirley Temple before continuing.
"The Uncle Walter and I ate snacks and fed Gene while he told me a story."
"Oh yeah? What was the story?" Olivia asked hesitantly, remembering how stoned Walter was when she dropped her niece off that morning.
"You were in it."
"I was?"
"Yeah," Ella said. "You, Mommy, Uncle Walter, Miss Astrid, and even Uncle Peter! It was really cool but really weird at the same time."
"I bet it was. What was it about?"
"You were a detective and you were on a secret mission to find Uncle Peter because he had a special heart and cuz he broke up with Mommy. But don't worry; they weren't actually together, because she was just an actress." Ella then launched into the whole story, only pausing occasionally to take a bite of her pizza and to breath.
"And then you and Uncle Peter danced in the lab and you all lived happily ever after. The end!" Ella concluded, taking a gulping breath after finishing her sentence.
"Wow that was… Wow." Olivia was practically speechless, unsure of what to think of the bizarre story her niece had just told her.
"So where was Miss Astrid while Uncle Walter was telling you all of this?" She asked once she had regained the use of words and proper English again.
"She was there; sometimes she would shake her head at him."
"Oh, I'm sure she did," Olivia chuckled. Seeing that they were about done with their meal, she waved for the check.
"You ready to go home and watch our movie?" She asked, pulling out her wallet.
A check, a car ride, two bowls of ice cream, and one Disney movie later; Olivia was settling Ella into bed.
"Alright, sweetheart I'll be right down the hall if you need me. Goodnight," Olivia flicked off the light and turned to make her way out of the guestroom.
"Aunt Liv?" Ella called.
"Yes?" Olivia stopped in the doorway, moving so that she could see her niece.
"Does Uncle Peter ever take you dancing?"
Damn. She was still thinking of Walter's ridiculous drug –induced tale.
"Ella, you know what Uncle Walter told you was just a story right? Whatever he said was just make believe, remember?"
"I know that, but…" She trailed off.
"But what?"
"But you and Uncle Peter love each other in real life. So wouldn't that mean that you go dancing together?" She asked.
Her. Peter. In love. Fuck.
"Ella, who told you that Uncle Peter and I are in love?" She asked through her teeth.
"Mommy," Ella said without a moment's hesitation.
"Of course she did," Olivia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was going to kill her sister.
"So do you?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you love Uncle Peter like Mommy says?" She asked as if it were the most obvious question in the world.
"It's complicated, alright!" Olivia snapped and then regretted almost instantly. Sensing she may have hurt the little girl's feelings, she sighed and sat on the bed.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't have snapped at you." She apologized as she stroked Ella's silky light brown hair.
"Do you want to know something that I'm absolutely sure of, though?" Olivia asked a few moments later in a soft voice. Ella nodded.
"I know that you are the best niece any aunt could ever ask for and one of my favorite people on the planet. I love you very much."
"I love you too, Aunt Liv."
To that Olivia smiled her first real smile in weeks and kissed Ella's forehead.
"Now try and get some sleep."
On the way to her own room, Olivia passed the DVD case for Finding Nemo that had been left on the coffee table. Peter, being more pop-culture savvy, recommended it as a good flick to watch with Ella. His reasoning being that it was a favorite of Walter's. Sure enough, he had been right, both she and Ella had loved every minute of it.
Hours later, Olivia was wide awake. Tossing and turning, she had been unable to keep from replaying what Ella had said about her and Peter. Since sleep didn't seem to be an option anymore, she trudged her way to the bathroom and ran hot water in her stand-alone tub. She stripped down and submerged herself into the steaming water, willing herself to relax.
Olivia desperately tried to clear her mind of anything but the soothing water lapping around her worn-out body. Yet, just like sleeping, she found that she couldn't. The same question continued to repeat in her head over and over.
"Do you love Uncle Peter?"
Do I love Peter? She asked herself when she found that she couldn't ignore the question anymore. A single tear traced down her cheek as she finally accepted the answer.
"Yes," she whispered into the night as more tears slipped from her stinging eyes.
"I do,"
At that final statement, her voice broke and she started to sob. This was the first time she had let the reality of Peter's absence really get to her. He was gone. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back.
The End.
A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. Please review (even if you hated it) I am always eager to hear (or read rather) your thoughts. Did anyone catch the slight "Lost"/ season 5 "Fringe" reference that I added in. I know that Simon Foster and Ella really would not have been that close in age, but I couldn't resist. Also, I think I'm going to write somewhat of a subplot of this story regarding the playlist mentioned. Let me know what you think!