ÒSir do you need help?Ó The young male clerk shifted uneasily and his question brought Riddick back to reality.
ÒNo, run along you punk.Ó Riddick replied.
ÒYes sir.Ó The young clerk retreated quickly without another word.
Riddick told himself long ago he would never buy these things for Jack again but here he found himself in the feminine toiletries section looking at the different products used to take in Ôthe flowÕ which he so doubly named it.
ÔFuck I always forget which type she wants.Õ
At least this time he knew it was pads. He remembered a time when he bought her Tampons only to have her get tremendously angry. He didnÕt understand her anger and that only infuriated her more, yelling that he could shove them up his hole and see if he enjoyed it. He commented back that he didnÕt need them up his ass but then she looked to his shiv and looked back at him. Without a second thought he was out the door.
ÔWings, overnight, light, mediums, heavy flow. Fuck. Õ
It all confused him. Sure, he knew all about the human body but he still couldnÕt fathom why one flow would be different from another. Then there were the different brands which only added to the dilemma.
ÔPlaytex.Always.Cotex.Carefree.Tampax. Johnson and Johnson. Fuck me.Õ
He always told himself it would be the last time but Jack on PMS was like a female grizzly stumbling upon someone fucking around with her cubs. Riddick also couldnÕt figure out why it was simply called Premenstrual Syndrome when Jack was pissed not just before, but during and even after Ôthe flow.Õ
Always the stubborn one, every time when someone was sent to help him they were kicked off like fleas on a dog. Too bad he couldnÕt see color it would help the situation seeing as how most brands and types of pads had different colors to represent them but it all looked the same to Mr.Badass.
Who wouldÕve thought that even after T2 Jack would still get her period but then again nothing really stops the bodyÕs processes. Not even scary ass aliens and a hyped up merc who all wanted the night freaks to have her for dinner because she was on her period.
Riddick couldnÕt help but laugh at the irony of it all. He, who had mutilated man and beast still couldnÕt stand the sight or smell of a used pad. Even after all that desensitizing he still found Ôthe flowÕ to be awfully disturbing. Shit, he knew wouldnÕt be too happy either if blood came out of any orifice of his let alone his genitalia.
Finally he just grabbed one figuring that it wouldnÕt be too bad, regretfully thatÕs how he viewed every time and never learned. Or maybe it was just he loved seeing Jack on her last thread because letÕs face it nothing amused him more than a little teenage girl threatening to get shiv happy on his little Richard.
As usual the cashier eyed him warily but afraid to make a comment after Riddick had fucked someone up in the store for merely looking at his purchases the wrong way. He threw the exact change down not wanting to be there any longer than he had to, although he was regretting getting home.
Already at the door he could hear Jack pacing and mumbling which gave him a grin that wouldn'tÕ last very long. Sighing, he unlocked the door, and opened it carefully waiting for Jack to pounce any second.
Jack jumped right in front of him and it took all his control not to flinch. Richard B. Riddick flinch at the site of anyone? No of course not, but this, this was a teenage girl on PMS who had mood swings faster than a schizophrenic. Jack could go from deliriously happy one moment, to ÒIÕll rip your fucking nuts off!Ó the next.
Riddick handed her the bag and she took it while thanking him for getting them. ThatÕs how it always started before she actually inspected what he had bought her. That was the moment Riddick hated most. Waiting for the bomb to fall. So he deliberately put space between them, thankful that he tucked most of the sharp objects away.
Jack looked over the package carefully. It was Always with Wings over night. Riddick gulped loudly as she over turned the package inspecting it. He was sure right then if there was anything wrong with it at all Jack would be at him like a pitbull. Instead, she made a low sound of approval and Riddick relented from falling to the floor and praising to god for his luck.
Yes, Riddick escaped hell like many times before but knowing godÕs sense of humor and RiddickÕs usual type of luck, ( bad luck), it wasnÕt going to last. Especially because there was always the dreaded NEXT TIME.....
ÒNo, run along you punk.Ó Riddick replied.
ÒYes sir.Ó The young clerk retreated quickly without another word.
Riddick told himself long ago he would never buy these things for Jack again but here he found himself in the feminine toiletries section looking at the different products used to take in Ôthe flowÕ which he so doubly named it.
ÔFuck I always forget which type she wants.Õ
At least this time he knew it was pads. He remembered a time when he bought her Tampons only to have her get tremendously angry. He didnÕt understand her anger and that only infuriated her more, yelling that he could shove them up his hole and see if he enjoyed it. He commented back that he didnÕt need them up his ass but then she looked to his shiv and looked back at him. Without a second thought he was out the door.
ÔWings, overnight, light, mediums, heavy flow. Fuck. Õ
It all confused him. Sure, he knew all about the human body but he still couldnÕt fathom why one flow would be different from another. Then there were the different brands which only added to the dilemma.
ÔPlaytex.Always.Cotex.Carefree.Tampax. Johnson and Johnson. Fuck me.Õ
He always told himself it would be the last time but Jack on PMS was like a female grizzly stumbling upon someone fucking around with her cubs. Riddick also couldnÕt figure out why it was simply called Premenstrual Syndrome when Jack was pissed not just before, but during and even after Ôthe flow.Õ
Always the stubborn one, every time when someone was sent to help him they were kicked off like fleas on a dog. Too bad he couldnÕt see color it would help the situation seeing as how most brands and types of pads had different colors to represent them but it all looked the same to Mr.Badass.
Who wouldÕve thought that even after T2 Jack would still get her period but then again nothing really stops the bodyÕs processes. Not even scary ass aliens and a hyped up merc who all wanted the night freaks to have her for dinner because she was on her period.
Riddick couldnÕt help but laugh at the irony of it all. He, who had mutilated man and beast still couldnÕt stand the sight or smell of a used pad. Even after all that desensitizing he still found Ôthe flowÕ to be awfully disturbing. Shit, he knew wouldnÕt be too happy either if blood came out of any orifice of his let alone his genitalia.
Finally he just grabbed one figuring that it wouldnÕt be too bad, regretfully thatÕs how he viewed every time and never learned. Or maybe it was just he loved seeing Jack on her last thread because letÕs face it nothing amused him more than a little teenage girl threatening to get shiv happy on his little Richard.
As usual the cashier eyed him warily but afraid to make a comment after Riddick had fucked someone up in the store for merely looking at his purchases the wrong way. He threw the exact change down not wanting to be there any longer than he had to, although he was regretting getting home.
Already at the door he could hear Jack pacing and mumbling which gave him a grin that wouldn'tÕ last very long. Sighing, he unlocked the door, and opened it carefully waiting for Jack to pounce any second.
Jack jumped right in front of him and it took all his control not to flinch. Richard B. Riddick flinch at the site of anyone? No of course not, but this, this was a teenage girl on PMS who had mood swings faster than a schizophrenic. Jack could go from deliriously happy one moment, to ÒIÕll rip your fucking nuts off!Ó the next.
Riddick handed her the bag and she took it while thanking him for getting them. ThatÕs how it always started before she actually inspected what he had bought her. That was the moment Riddick hated most. Waiting for the bomb to fall. So he deliberately put space between them, thankful that he tucked most of the sharp objects away.
Jack looked over the package carefully. It was Always with Wings over night. Riddick gulped loudly as she over turned the package inspecting it. He was sure right then if there was anything wrong with it at all Jack would be at him like a pitbull. Instead, she made a low sound of approval and Riddick relented from falling to the floor and praising to god for his luck.
Yes, Riddick escaped hell like many times before but knowing godÕs sense of humor and RiddickÕs usual type of luck, ( bad luck), it wasnÕt going to last. Especially because there was always the dreaded NEXT TIME.....