AN: Written for whispered touches' Six Billion Secrets contest. Using prompts 1, 8, 10, 11, 16, 18, 22, and possibly some others.
AN 2: I'm working on rewriting this, so if you recognize it than you're probably not imagining it.
Disclaimer: Not mine. It is all the wonderful J.K. Rowling's.
Whispered Secrets Chapter One
I don't know how I do this every day. This act, this illusion I put forth into the world. I just don't. I guess it's because I'm afraid of attention, of being coddled. I feel as if I let people know that I'm the slightest bit unhappy that people will come in droves to comfort me, because I'm Rose Weasley, the daughter of two-thirds of the Golden Trio, two of the saviors of the entire wizarding world. I'm afraid that because of my parents' fame that I will be smothered by fakes and imposters. So, I just put a smile on my face and a laugh in my voice. I pretend that everything is alright, and that nothing can ever hurt me.
But my smile is lie. My happiness is a lie. It's all a lie, an illusion. It's always a lie. I just can't help it. I really can't. I just go on and on pretending everything is all right, even when I know my world is coming down around me. Like I remember in first year, I developed a crush on a second year Hufflepuff, two years later I found out he was gay. I was, well, crushed for a lack of a better word. I was gloomy and depressed (I mean, I was thirteen and believed he was the love of my life.) I was constantly surrounded by people trying to cheer me up, which just made me more miserable. That was when I learned to smile through the horrors in life. It was when I started to practice smiling when I'm sad.
I'm in seventh year now. I have a few best friends and droves of acquaintances vying for my attention. When one of my friends are upset, they come to me. Never asking if I mind, because they know I don't. They learned that long ago. Although, it would be nice for them to ask just once.
It is seventh year and I have never really felt love. Sure, I've had a few boyfriends but all of them were more interested in my body than my mind. Although what they see in me is beyond me. I look in the mirror every morning and think to myself, "Why would anyone ever want you?" You'd think that all the attention I get would make me confident in who I am, but it makes it worse. I'm constantly scrutinized and criticized. I can't do anything right in the presses' eyes. The only thing I know is good about me is my mind. I'm brilliant, I take more after my mother (except in looks, in that respect I'm a Weasley through and through.) The boys never cared about my intelligence though. They only cared about what laid under my clothes. Something never felt right with those boys. I was holding back for something. I never knew what though, it was just something that was always there. Always niggling at the back of my head saying, "He's not the one Rose." I would always try to ask myself who was the one but my mind always stayed tight-lipped. I would sigh, deep in thought, and leave those thoughts for another day.
Today is a beautiful day. It's a gorgeous, beautiful, breathtaking day. The grass is green and the birds are singing, even the Whomping Willow is being peaceful. I was just sitting under that old oak tree by the lake when I set my eyes on you. You always take my breath away, you always have, and you probably always will. Ever since my father pointed you out to me that first day at Hogwarts, I have been absolutely fascinated by you, Scorpius Malfoy.
At first it was about why my father wants me to beat you at everything. Which, I must admit I have a hard time doing in Potions. Then at time went on it was how Albus, my cousin mind you, became such good friends with you. I think you to two are closer than me and all my friends put together. It baffled me to say the least. Then as I got older and started admiring the male physique, I began to notice how nice you looked when your platinum blonde hair started to fall into your steely grey eyes or how nicely toned quiddich kept you.
I guess it was clear back then I started developing a crush on you. As I lay under this old oak tree, I think I know why I held back before. That reason is you. It's always been you. You're the one I've been waiting for I realize. Yet you just look past me, never realizing that I need a hug, or kiss, or some words of comfort. You go on cavorting with my cousin, your best friend. Occasionally talking to me and giving me that crooked smile of yours.
Maybe that was the reason I broke down and started sobbing beneath that oak tree; everything was building up behind the dam. It was time the floodgates opened. I don't know how long I sat there, weeping, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up. It was your hand, and what a hand it was. Tanned and calloused, the kind that comes from hard work. You just looked down at me with a comforting smile and asked in that soothing voice of yours and asked me quietly, "Is everything all right Rose?"
AN 3: Kudos to you if you saw the Final Fantasy 10 reference.