Whoever said falling in love was the most wonderful feeling in the world was wrong. Terribly wrong. I wanted to take back everything wrong I had done to him, everything bad or mean I had ever said to him. It was happening right in front of my eyes. His face crumbling, his soul leaking out of his tear-filled eyes. His blood stained my hands, my heart and most importantly my future. Nothing would be the same if I lost him. Nothing would ever feel the same. Tears fell from my wide eyes as I watched it all happen. The wetness fell on his face, running down his cheeks making it look as if they were his own tears.
Whatever he wanted I would give to him. I'd reach into my chest and give him my entire heart if I could. I'd give him my soul if it had been a tangible thing. With him, he was my soul. He was my everything. And he didn't know it. He was my whole world and it was literally crumbling right in front of me. Every time I touched his pale skin, it just crumbled away. It made me cry even more. I didn't want it to end but it was going to. Any minute down. His system would shut down. His circuits would fry themselves. His eyes would go dull and I would never hear his sweet sweet voice ring in my ears again. I would never hear his playful "Master" ever again. "I would never feel his loving gaze on me, making me flustered. I'd never. Ever.
And then it happened. A spark flitted cross his face, lighting up his eyes brighter than ever. Brighter than the first time he showed me his face. Brighter than ever when I told him I wouldn't leave him behind. Clearer than ever. Clear. Clear as could be, as if he wasn't moments from shutting down. As if he had miraculously fixed himself. Right in front of my eyes his pale flesh began to knit itself back together. The hole that had exposed the right half of his face slowly closed up, covering up his exposed eye. His eyes were closed, his delicate eyelashes fluttering as his eyes moved back and forth underneath them. Was this his last ditch effort to gather as much energy he could to carry out any last wish of his, to breath his last sentence to me?
Those eyes of his, those damned eyes that showed me his soul opened up and they were full of life. Not just the fleeting moment of his last breath, but a renewed life, as if he had been born again. Like he was completely fine and nothing was wrong. He gazed up into my eyes where as I looked down into them, my vision blurry with the tears that had held off on falling. Then I heard him speak.
"I heard you Aoba-san so I came…" he said in almost a whisper. My heart pounded in my ears, my blood rushing to deafen me. I crumbled myself then and there, breaking down into a fit of tears.
"Clear…Clear don't you die…" I gasped out in sobs. I felt a warm hand on my cheek.
"Aoba-san…" That damned voice of his. That damned tone he always took with me after the collapse of the tower. Aoba-san. Aoba-san. Aoba. Aoba. Always in the goddamned tender tone that shook me from the core. Maybe that's why I was taking this so badly. Maybe that's why I was about to rip my heart out of my chest just for him. Maybe Clear was the reason for all of this and I was supposed to go through with this. This was the conditioning of my heart to harden it against future love. I placed my hand over his on my cheek.
"Don't you dare. Don't you even dare do this to me!" I sobbed in my cracking voice. He gave a soft chuckle, the sound reverberating in my soul. I could never let go no matter what.
"Aoba-san…I'm not dying anymore…I'm not going to…please don't cry…" he tried to calm me down. I drooped my head and pressed my forehead against his shoulder. He didn't smell like death. He smelt the same to me as the first day I had met him, when he wouldn't show his face because of that god-awful gas mask. I was glad he finally showed his face to me. Overjoyed. Head over heels from the moment I laid eyes on him. It wasn't just his handsome inhuman looks, but his personality. He made me laugh, he was sometimes annoying, but that's what made me love him. He tried so hard to be normal that I completely accepted him as human. I could have easily forgotten he was a robot over time. I would easily spend the rest of my life with him if I had a choice. His sweet voice and gentle petting of my hair brought me back to reality.
"I'm not dying…I've fixed myself," he explained calmly. My breath hitched in my throat as I took the time to listen to him. "It seems I didn't completely destroy my self-fixing component of my brain when I stabbed myself. I'm not dying anymore…" His thumb ghosted over my cheek, brushing away the last of the tears that threatened to fall. I was…I didn't know how to describe the feeling in my chest. My body reacted on its own. My arms pulled him up so they could wrap around his neck tightly in a hug. It wouldn't be the last hug. It wouldn't be the last time I heard him speak my name. It wouldn't be the last shared moment between us. It wasn't the last shred of life Clear clung onto. He was going to keep on living by my side. That fueled my love even more and a whole new wave of sobbing occurred.
I could feel the smile Clear held against my shoulder as he gently rubbed my back to calm me down. Then he began to sing. It was that song. The one he sang to me to reverse the Grand Music effects. The complete opposite of that horrid music. It was a song coming straight from an angel's soul and it was for me and only me. The song made me drowsy. It wasn't just the song, really. It was the conflicting pain in my heart and head. It was the exhaustion from pouring my soul out in front of Clear in his last moments. My eyelids drooped and my breath deepened as I slowly dropped into what seemed like the deepest sleep I've ever experienced. That's what Clear wished, for me to be calm. And I was.
I woke up. That's it. I woke up from nothing, not a dream in my head or nightmare. Nothing. I Sat up and looked around. I was in the bedroom down the hall from Clear's at Glitter. That stupid apartment in Platinum Jail. I wanted to be away from here. I didn't want to spend another night here. I planned out in my head that I would leave with Clear and go back home to where we belonged. We were done with Toue forever. Nothing to ever worry about ever again. I gathered myself and left the room in hopes of finding Clear. I heard his humming from the living area and went to see what he was doing. I had a plan in mind of what I wanted to do before anything else.
Clear was standing at the coffee pot, waiting for the drink to be done. I grabbed his arm, turned him around, and pressed my lips on his. He gave a little noise of surprise. Completely caught off guard. Good. I wrapped my arms around his delicate frame and pressed closer, wanting to feel the heat from his body. I felt him pull away after a minute of that delicious kiss.
"A-Aoba-san," he stuttered. "Wha-" I stopped him before another precious word slipped from his lips. I pressed my lips to his against. His back hit the counter as I pressed closer. I wanted him. I wanted what we didn't finish as he lay dying yesterday. I wanted it so bad that it hurt deep within me. He soon got the message and put his hands on my shoulders. His quiet breathy moans escaped into my own mouth and gave me a renewed vigor and lust. He was so hot. He was just so…damn. I wanted to envelope him with my being. I wanted to become one and whole with him. He knew that. He understood my needs. I pulled away and looked up at him, eyes half-lidded with my apparent lust growing beneath my belt.
"Clear…Make me yours…let's start all over…" Clear gave a small nod. I took his hand and led him over to the couch on the other side of the room. That would be good enough. I didn't care where it was I just wanted Clear to turn me into a trembling mess. I pushed him to sit down and I mounted his lap, straddling him so I could look down into his glowing eyes. They were captivating. That's what made him Clear. His clear eyes that showed me everything he was feeling. Love, lust, understanding…all the feelings I also felt at that moment.
I began to kiss at his jaw, taking control right away. He wasn't stiff or cold like a robot would be. He was warm and fleshy, feeling exactly like a human. I took note of everything human about him; the way his breath would flutter when I kissed a certain spot; the way he bit at his bottom lip to keep in a lustful moan; the way his eyelids would droop closed every now and then at the pure pleasure. I got even more excited knowing how good he felt with just my kisses and close contact. My hands rubbed at his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath he took. Stars flew across my vision as I heard my name come out of his mouth now and then; it was all positive encouragement that kept me going.
I dipped my head, flicking my tongue over his collarbone just above the collar of the shirt. I looked up to see him watching my every move, studying me with those pink eyes of his. I did it again, dragging my tongue a bit slower. I relished in the noise coming from his parted lips. I listed his shirt to expose his pale chest. Usually I was the one on the bottom being teased and tortured, but not this time. This time I was going to give everything to Clear and make him feel possibly the best he had ever felt. Even though he was a robot he had the same exact feelings as a humans and the same kind of sensitivities. He could basically do everything a human could, even down below the belt. That excited me.
He removed his shirt for me and I tossed my own off. His hands roamed my back as I kissed and nipped a map all over the planes of his chest. I teased one of his nipples with my tongue and it hardened against my lips. He was sensitive there too. Good. That was the second spot I found and I hoped to find even more. I sucked at his pert bud, giving him the pleasure he deserved. I let him relish in the sparks that flowed through his body. All because of me. I was the one making him feel this way. I continued to his other nipple. After a minute I felt his index finger lift my chin up so he could look me in the eyes.
"Aoba…" He left out the honorific. He stopped me just to push me away and onto my back on the stretch of couch before him. This was all sudden. I tried to protest, wanting to be the one in control, but he held my down. "I want to be the one to do everything this time," he told me. That's right. Yesterday I had done everything because Clear couldn't move and inch. I felt a pain in my heart as I remembered. What if…he began to break again when we began to make love? Clear saw the fear in my eyes. "You can trust me," he whispered as he leaned in close. I took a shaky breath and nodded.
He stripped my pants and underwear off. Then he did the same to himself. We were both naked, taking in each other's nude bodies. My body felt heated wherever Clear's eyes looked and I almost covered myself up in shyness. Clear grabbed my hands and pinned then above my head. I squirmed a bit until he pressed his warm lips to mine, reassuring me that nothing bad was going to happen, and I believed him. I let him do as he wished, wanting him to be as happy as possible.
Clear let go of my hands and they began to roam my body, mesmerized by every bump and curve. I was a Greek statue to him, carved out of the purest marble. Carved without a single flaw. He made me feel like I belonged on top of a pedestal. He praised my body by peppering kissed everywhere. My forehead, my cheeks, my throat, my shoulders, chest, arms, each and every fingers, my hips, thighs, knees, even all my toes. It tickled and felt very sensual. He was worshipping my body. He kissed everywhere but my most obscene places. He was saving that for last. The sensuality was heightening all of my senses and my cock was standing at complete attention by the end of this gratitude. Clear looked up at me before taking a gentle hold of my member, stroking lightly. His tender touch caused my body to arch up ever so slightly. That seemed to have been the best response and the one he wanted. He put the head in his mouth, swirling his moist tongue around it. Being enveloped by this hot wet heat made me gasp. Clear obviously had no idea what he was doing but he went with every one of my reactions, knowing what felt good and what felt purely amazing. He kept taking me into his mouth until I hit the back of his throat. That made him swallow around me and I had to put a hand over my mouth to hold in a slutty gasp.
He gave it all he had. Up and down his head bobbed; short bobbing turned into deep swallowing of my cock. He stopped right before I was about to explode. I was a panting sweaty mess just by his goddamned blowjob. Man he had such an impact on me. He looked up at me.
"Do…I need to stretch you first?" Clear asked tentatively. I knew it would hurt like hell. I knew that there would be a splitting pain, but I shook my head anyways.
"Just make sure I'm wet enough…" I couldn't believe I was going to let him go in unprepared for his girth. And what seemed like a rather large girth too. Clear gave me a nod and spread my legs. He spit into his hand, thinking that would be a good enough source of wetness. He stroked himself with his hand, coating his stiff cock as good as he could. We he was satisfied with his job, he rubbed the swollen head against my entrance. He held my thigh with one hand and his cock with the other as he began to press in. I was right, I was in pain. Searing pain. It felt like I was being ripped open; my muscles forced open by Clear. But I endured it. I did it for him. It would all feel better as soon as he got in, I knew it. I crossed an arm over my face, covering up the look of pain that showed. I bit into my skin to muffle my noises.
Clear grabbed my arms and pinned them above my head so he could see every expression, good or bad. He kept pushing into me and I kept tightening even more around him which probably felt amazing for him. Soon his cock was fully sheathed in my tight heat and he stayed still so I could get used to him. We were fully connected now. We were whole. I felt tears prick at my eyes, but not from the pain. They were from the emotions welling up inside my chest. I was about to burst at the seams. Clear kissed away the hint of wetness around my eyes; he had let go of my arms so I wrapped them around his neck. He began to move after what seemed like forever. I felt him rubbing around my inside, causing heat to build up. I was on fire, my whole being in flames from just the touch of Clear's body on mine.
He picked up a steady rhythm soon enough, giving little grunts and moans here and there. I tried to keep my voice down but Clear encouraged me to let it loose. I did as he told me, obeying whatever he said. We picked up speed and pleasure and whatever else you could imagine two lovers felt in such a moment of passion and heat. My cock rubbed against his stomach causing my pleasure to heighten even more. It was feeling better and better over time. I forgot about everything else around us and everything that happened not but hours ago. I forgot all the sadness I felt and all the pain in my chest. All I knew in that moment was Clear. All I felt in the moment Clear. Never had I been so certain of the one I loved most in my life. He was right there in front of me and I wouldn't let go ever. Even if it ended up killing me in the end.
Clear made passionate love to me, putting his all in to every thrust. I was at the peak of my climax before I knew it, digging my nails into Clear's otherwise unblemished back, my legs wrapped tightly around his waist. His breath was heavy in my ear and he was about to come any second. As was I. I wanted to share that experience with him at the same exact time. I panted in his ear.
"Clear…Clear ahh…" I moaned, not being able to finish what I was about to say. He understood completely and thrusted harder than before. We climaxed at the same time, his warmth spreading throughout my inside with mine seeping from between us. It felt like lava inside me but it was okay. I finally had Clear and Clear finally had me. We were each other's and nobody else's. We were infinitely enraptured by each other's love that we couldn't feel anything else. Clear kissed my lips, a kiss that would forever stay on my lips.
I didn't care that he wasn't human. I didn't care that underneath his skin was a bunch of metal and machine parts. All I cared about were his feelings and his soul. Even though he was a machine he was still Clear with a beautiful soul right in his chest. And that's how I would always see him. Even if his skin flaked off and looked like a horrifying monster, I would love him unconditionally. From that moment on, laying in each other's arms, breathing the same air, sharing the same place in the universe, my heart was finally content. My heart was settled and I could finally breathe easy, knowing that he was mine and I was his.