Adrien Agreste was a lonely child.
Seriously, raise your hand if this surprises you at all.
His father was constantly busy, and he rarely saw the man. The few times he did, his father was always rushed and too busy to entertain his only son.
Adrien saw slightly more of his mother, but between his endless stream of tutors and lessons and activities, he counted himself lucky if he got to see her at mealtimes.
The less said about his lone 'friend', Chloe, the better. While it was nice to have someone to talk to, that was if he could get a word in edgewise.
He was homeschooled, despite his constant begging to go to a normal school like Chloe did. However, like clockwork his pleading would be met with 'Maybe next year, dear', a patronizing pat on the head, and then he would be shooed off to his next lesson.
All he wanted was a friend, someone to talk to and play with and spend time with.
This was the first thing that factored into what happened several years later.
The second was that his parents, being incredibly busy most of the time, also didn't have much time for questions. Especially questions that tended to be embarrassing, such as 'Where do babies come from?'
And in the time-honored tradition of parents everywhere who don't want to actually explain where babies really do come from, they copped-out.
"The stork brings babies. When someone wants a baby, they write a letter to the storks, and later, the stork brings a new baby."
Granted, the storks hadn't done that for years now, but Adrien wasn't to know that.
The third thing that factored in was the use of the word 'someone', instead of 'Mommy' or 'Daddy'.
And little Adrien reasoned that he was a 'someone'.
And a little brother or sister would be great to play with.
So, Adrien got out his best stationary (It had cats on it!) and a pencil, and with the Gorilla's help for the hard words, he sat down and very seriously wrote a letter to the storks asking pretty please for them to bring him a baby brother or sister.
And then the Gorilla helped him find an envelope and a stamp and carefully print out the correct address, and held him up to drop the envelope in the mailbox.
As you may have guessed, the Gorilla was beyond caring at this point.
Adrien waited, and waited, and waited, but as time went on and a stork never appeared, he eventually gave up, and even forgot all about the letter he had sent as he grew older and even (finally!) went to school and made friends.
Well, and became a superhero. That too.
And honestly, it never would have been an issue beyond a child's passing fancy, spurred by loneliness, if the Storks hadn't started delivering babies again.
And began by clearing the backlog of letters.
And that is where things went pear-shaped for Adrien.
The Storkening, as Nino was calling it, had been going on for a week when there was a knock at the front door.
All over the world, babies were being delivered in droves. And while a lot of people were perfectly happy about their new parental status, there were also problems. After all, in the years since they had written their letters, some couples had broken up or divorced, or one had passed away, or they had fallen on hard times to where they just couldn't support a baby.
As a result, social services all over were being overwhelmed as they worked on looking after babies until the Storks could reassign them and find them a new family. Even with a whole wing, no pun intended, of the flock dedicated to the task, the backlog was already being reported to be several months.
And that was the thought that was going through Adrien's mind as his father ordered Nathalie to call social services and arrange for the baby to be picked up.
Adrien blew his nose one final time, his sneezing from the stork's feathers having finally stopped, then spoke up. "Father, we can't just dump her!" He held his hands out beseechingly to the Gorilla, who was carefully cradling the softly babbling baby girl, and shot his bodyguard a tight smile of thanks when she was passed over.
"Adrien, we hardly have the time to be looking after a baby," his father replied curtly, refusing to even glance at the tiny baby girl, her hair a shade or two darker gold than Adrien's own, and her eyes still that soft baby blue, not having to begun to change color yet.
"What of the hit to the company's reputation if the press finds out about you just handing her off first thing?" At that point, Adrien could have kissed Nathalie for her input, and he privately vowed that she was getting all of the flowers on her next birthday.
Gabriel froze, and his expression grew stony, but there was a set to his eyes that indicated he was weighing his options. "Very well. Nathalie, begin conducting interviews for nannies."
Adrien let out a soft breath, then froze as memories of seeing so very little of his parents growing up washed over him. Just an endless stream of nannies and tutors and rare bits of affection that he collected and treasured. And with his mother gone and his father so distant, would his baby sister even get that?
"I'll look after her," Adrien said, having to adjust his hold as the baby squirmed. "I won't let it affect my schooling or activities or anything! I swear, father!"
His father raised an eyebrow, and for once actually looked amused. "You believe that you can adequately care for a baby?"
"I remember growing up with nannies and tutors, and I hated it, Father. I don't want her to go through the same thing," Adrien said, wincing a little as the baby started whimpering and fussing. He was surprised when the Gorilla bent down and silently adjusted his hold, but the whimpering lessened a little.
"Your schedule is already full, and babies take a lot of time and energy," Gabriel rebutted.
"I'll figure something out. I can pay for daycare while I'm in school, and take care of her the rest of the time." Adrien knew his words were growing more pleading and desperate, but he couldn't, span style="font-style: oblique;"wouldn't/span allow the baby girl, his baby sister, to be alone like he had been.
"You don't know how to take care of a baby."
"I can learn, same as everyone else who has to!"
Gabriel sighed and rubbed at the sides of his nose in exasperation. "Very well. However, if your grades drop, we shall have to re-discuss the matter. You may drop one extracurricular, in deference to the time it will take you, but you will still be expected to attend photo-shoots, and to provide adequate childcare during them." He shot his son a firm look, which softened slightly, before turning to his assistant. "Nathalie, arrange a stipend for Adrien, so he can purchase whatever the baby requires."
Adrien knew that his father assumed he would fail within a week, but all he could feel was relief, as he hugged the softly fussing baby to his chest.
Nathalie shot Adrien a sympathetic look as she followed his father, but right now Adrien was more concerned with the baby that was starting to cry in his arms.
What had he just gotten himself into?
As soon as he got back to his room, Plagg shot out of his shirt pocket and hovered in front of the baby's face, cooing softly. The act was so surprising that both Adrien and the little girl stopped and stared at the tiny Kwami.
"What? I've helped raise a lot of my Chats' kittens in my time," Plagg said defensively. "I'm thousands of years old, kid. I've been around babies before."
The baby was starting to whimper again, and Adrien felt like crying as well, though with relief. At least someone would know what they were doing. "Do you know why she's crying?"
"Could be a lot of reasons. She's in a new place with new people she doesn't know well yet. Or she could be hungry. Or tired, though most babies tend to scream at the top of their lungs if they're tired," Plagg said, darting in to curl up against the baby's neck, purring softly. Surprisingly, the whimpering quieted.
"Okay… oh man I'm going to need so much stuff. Food, bed, clothes, toys… oh god, what about when an Akuma attack comes-" Adrien could feel that he was working himself into a panic, but he also couldn't stop it, at least not until a sharp pain came from one of his fingers.
"Breathe, kid," Plagg said once he spat out the finger he had bitten. "How about we start with a name, then we can work on getting her fed and getting some diapers for her. Have one of the maids hunt to see if any of your old baby clothes and toys are in storage. You can get new things later, but they'll do for now in a pinch."
Adrien added Plagg to the list of 'must shower with gifts when things calmed down', and managed to get his phone out without dropping the baby so he could call Nathalie and ask her to talk to the maids. She assured him that she would send one out to get diapers and formula, and another to look in the mansion's attic for baby things.
"There, that's some of the basics taken care of." Plagg floated up to gently boop the baby on the nose with one tiny paw, making her cross her eyes and giggle. "Later tonight we can go hunt down Ladybug and you two can work something out for Akuma battles. Because this is going to change things, and she'll need a heads up if it's going to be harder for you to get away because you have no one to watch her."
Adrien nodded, going to sit on his bed and laying the baby down on the comforter, watching her kick and giggle as Plagg floated above her head, drawing lazy patterns in the air. "You said earlier about a name?"
"What, do you plan to just call her 'it' the whole time?" Plagg huffed, letting his tail dangle down so the baby could try to grab at it. "I think she looks like a Brie."
"… Plagg, we are not naming the baby after cheese."
"Brie is a perfectly nice name!" Plagg argued, flicking his tail so that she just missed her next grab. "Besides, you aren't suggesting anything!"
Adrien hesitated, then held a finger out, smiling as the baby grabbed it and squeezed, her grip surprisingly strong. "I… well, I always figured that if I ever had a baby, that Sophie sounds like a nice name for a girl."
"… Brie is better." Plagg said flatly, and Adrien rolled his eyes.
"Fine, how about Sophie Brie Agreste?" He asked, somewhat sarcastically.
The kwami grinned and did a little circle in the air. "Sounds good! No take-backs!"
"Wait, no! I am not naming her after a cheese!"
"Too late!" Plagg cackled, then yelped as the newly named Sophie finally snagged his tail and yanked him down before he managed to pull free. "Besides, it has a nice ring to it."
Adrien frowned, then groaned and put his face in his hands as he realized that, somehow, Plagg was right. "Uuuugh. I can't believe I'm letting you make her middle name 'Brie'."
"It's still a cooler name than anything your father would have come up with," Plagg boasted, going back to entertaining Sophie by doing lazy patterns in the air above her. A knock came from the door, and when Adrien answered it, one of the maids placed a whole box of diapers, a container of baby wipes, and a bottle full of formula in his arms.
As soon as the door shut, Plagg zoomed over. "Good timing, especially on the diapers. She needs a clean one."
Adrien paled slightly. "Plagg, I've never changed a diaper!"
"Oh for the love of… it's not hard, kid. They're pretty self-explanatory, but I'll walk ya through it."
Adrien winced, but obligingly brought everything over to his bed and dumped the items onto the comforter. He picked up the bottle and set it on his bedside table, then had to pull out his keys to cut the tape on the box of diapers to get it open, since he didn't want to walk all the way to his desk to get some scissors.
"Alright, first get the fresh diaper and the wipes ready to go." Plagg instructed, distracting Sophie by doing the 'try to grab the Kwami's tail' game again.
"Okay. Diaper and wipes. I can do that." Adrien let out a breath, grabbing the packet of wipes and a diaper from the box.
"Now, undo the tabs on the front and lay down the front of the diaper. Take a wipe and clean her up, then bundle everything up in the diaper, use the tabs to close it, and throw it away."
By now a low-key panic was starting to set in, because Adrien didn't know what he was doing and he was now responsible for a tiny life and oh gods what if he screwed this up and Sophie grew up hating him-
"Hey! Kid!" Adrien jerked, realizing he had been starting to breathe faster. "Panic later. Diaper now. Come on, you can't leave her sitting in a dirty diaper."
"Okay. Right." Adrien let out a long breath, then reached out and undid the tabs holding the diaper together, flipping down the front.
And immediately recoiled with a gag. "Ugh! That's disgusting!"
"Yeah, the first poopy diaper is always one of the worst," Plagg said, completely unsympathetic. "Better get used to them, kid. Grab a wipe and clean her up. And wipe front to back, trust me on this."
Adrien grimaced and tried to hold his breath as he got several wipes, then gingerly started cleaning Sophie up. Only once the baby was clean and the diaper carefully wrapped up and thrown away did he allow himself to breathe deeply again.
"Okay, open up the fresh one, and put the side with the tabs under her. Then just bring up the front and use the tabs to keep it in place."
This was easier, and even though Plagg tested the tabs and made Adrien pull them tighter, he sat up a little straighter once he was done. "I did it, Plagg! I changed a diaper!"
"Yeah, congratulations kid. Now just ten thousand more of those to go before she's potty trained."
Plagg cackled at the horrified look on his Chosen's face at the prospect of so many diapers. "You'll get it down to where it's no big deal fast, don't worry. Now go wash your hands, and see about giving her that bottle. Then you can put her down for a nap until it's time to go talk to Ladybug."
One set of clean hands later, Plagg helped Adrien sit Sophie up on one of his legs while sitting, one hand making sure she wouldn't fall backwards while the other helped the baby support the bottle.
"How old do you think she is?" Adrien asked his kwami curiously.
"From what I remember, babies brought by storks are considered six months old from their delivery date. Makes the paperwork easier for you humans." Plagg smirked, showing his tiny fangs. "That and by then most babies are past the 'spit up everything' stage and can sleep through the night."
"Huh. At least there's that," Adrien said, relieved.
"I said 'most', kid. Each baby is different. You'll have to figure out the particulars about yours as you go." Plagg snickered. "Like the fact that she's got an appetite to match mine."
"What?" Adrien blinked and looked down, only to find that the bottle was already empty and Sophie was pushing it away. "How?! That was full!"
Sophie's only reply was to babble cheerfully and then burp.
"Okay, put her down for a nap, kid."
"... How?!"
Plagg stared at his charge, then sighed and rubbed at his face with a paw. "Look, just lay her down on the bed, find a small blanket for her, and make sure it's warm and quiet. She's got a full belly, even if she's wide awake now, it won't take long for her to fall asleep."
Unfortunately, Plagg's prediction was wrong in this case.
As soon as Adrien laid the baby down, she screwed her face up and started to whimper, which devolved into crying, and then wailing at the top of her lungs.
"Oh, no, no baby, don't cry." Adrien scooped Sophie back up, cradling her to his chest and rubbing her back with one hand.
The wailing did not stop.
Plagg had his ears pinned tightly to his head at the noise even as Adrien looked to him for help. "Try walking back and forth with her!" The tiny god had to yell to be heard over the crying baby.
Walking didn't help. Attempts to give her another bottle didn't help. An old stuffed cat (ginger, not black, much to Plagg's disappointment) that one of the maids had found and cleaned up didn't help.
When she hadn't stopped by the time he had to head out to meet Ladybug for patrol, Adrien was considering buying stock in ear plugs.
"Plagg, what do I do with Sophie while I'm gone?" Adrien groaned, back to walking and rubbing the wailing baby's back in an attempt to soothe her.
"Look, we'll take her with us. Maybe the fresh air will help her feel better." Plagg sighed. "It's about the only thing we haven't tried yet."
"Uh, Plagg? I don't think I can travel while carrying a baby in my arms." Adrien hugged Sophie a little closer, already having horrifying thoughts about what would happen if he dropped her from several stories up, and shuddering in response.
"Look, just hold her against your chest while you transform, and I'll take care of the rest. You won't be the first of my kittens to need to take along a kitten of their own while suited up, and you won't be the last. So long as you're not getting into an actual fight and you take things easy so you don't scare her, she'll be fine."
"Um… Okay." Still unsure about this, Adrien held Sophie so her back was to his chest, then called for Plagg to transform him. The baby's crying interrupted when the green magic washed over her, warm and a little ticklish, if only for the fact that it was completely new. As soon as it finished, though, she was back to wailing at the top of her lungs.
Despite the crying, Chat kind of wished he could take a picture of Sophie, as she was now being held in a baby carrier strapped securely to his chest, wearing her own tiny Chat Noir costume. It came complete with a tiny lashing leather tail, tiny ears pinned tight to her head, a little mask, and her dandelion fluff hair now being just as wild as his own.
"You are too cute for your own good." He muttered, shifting a bit from foot to foot to check his balance now that he had Sophie strapped to his chest, then heading for the window he usually left through.
Hopefully she didn't scream at the top of her lungs while he travelled, because he had no desire to wake up half of Paris.
Once they were out in the cool air, Sophie's crying died down to whimpering and soft sobs, which at least let Chat move more quietly than he had feared he would have to. Still, he had to go more slowly than normal, because he knew his usual leaps and freefalls would have her screaming again.
Which was why he ended up being a good fifteen minutes late to the usual spot he met up with Ladybug for patrol, and why Ladybug was standing there tapping her foot in impatience.
Which quickly turned into more than a little shock and horror when she spotted Chat.
"… Chat. Minou. Please tell me that… that… isn't what I think it is."
Chat just groaned as he sat down, rubbing at his forehead. "It's… a long story, My Lady."
"Chat. Why do you have a baby with you?" Ladybug sighed as she sat down, though privately she admitted that the baby was adorable in the tiny Chat Noir costume.
"Well, you know how the Storks have started delivering babies again after a long time of not?"
"Chat, everyone knows that. And I'm guessing that…"
"She." Chat supplied, knowing that between Sophie's age and the tiny suit it was hard to tell.
"She, thank you, is a result of that?"
"Yes," Chat groaned, rubbing at his face. Ladybug had always insisted that they keep their private lives out of their superhero ones, but to explain this properly he was going to have to go into it. "Look, I… my family is well off, but when I was little, my parents… weren't really around. They were always busy, and I saw my tutors and nannies a lot more than them." He looked down, holding out a finger for Sophie to grab, then having to take it away when she immediately tried to stick his claw in her mouth, making her start to softly cry again. "My parents gave me the whole 'stork' talk, and the thing I wanted most was a friend, so… I wrote a letter. But when nothing happened I forgot about it, up until babies started getting delivered again, and she got dropped off at my house."
"Okay, that explains where the baby came from, but why do you have her?"
"… My mom is gone. She just… walked out one day. Filed for divorce. My dad's been… even worse, since she left. And the last thing he needed was the baby showing up." Chat neglected to mention Gabriel's first response. "He just… wanted to leave her to nannies and tutors. Same as I was, only I know that she would probably never even see him at all. And I couldn't let her be as lonely as I was, so… I said I'd take care of her. But now I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm going to do with her during Akuma fights and-"
Chat stopped as a gentle hand covered his mouth, glancing up into Ladybug's concerned eyes.
"Chat. Calm down. Breathe. Panicking isn't going to help, okay minou?" She said softly.
Chat nodded, closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths.
"Look, she won't stop fussing. See if you can hand her here and I'll see if I can help." Ladybug offered, trying to focus Chat by concentrating on the immediate problem.
"Um…" With a little hunting, he found buckles that could be undone to release the patch holding Sophie to his chest, and did so. With no small amount of envy, he saw how Ladybug gently scooped up the baby girl, cradling her to her shoulder and gently bouncing her while murmuring softly in her throat.
"You've taken care of babies before?" He asked, curious.
"I've babysat a few times, and my parents were some of the first to be visited when the storks started delivering again." At Chat's confused look, Ladybug sighed and went on, gently rubbing the tiny kitten's back as her fussing began to die down. "My mom… is a small woman, but my dad is a big guy. And apparently I was a big baby, especially for my mom's size. We both made it out okay, but I guess something happened when I was born that made it so my mom couldn't have any more kids. So even though the storks weren't delivering anymore, they wrote to them." Ladybug gave a wry grin. "I've got twin baby siblings now, a boy and a girl. My mom and dad are over the moon about it."
"… Must be nice," Chat said, ears and tail drooping, even as Sophie quieted further. Ladybug sighed, shifting the baby to one arm and reaching out with the other to bring Chat in for a hug.
"Look. We'll figure this out, okay? Together."
"You mean it?" Chat had been thoroughly enjoying the hug, but pulled back far enough so he could look Ladybug in the eye.
"Of course I do. You're my partner. We handle problems together." Ladybug shifted slightly, then glanced down. One side of her mouth quirked in a lopsided smile at the sight of the tiny kitten passed out against her shoulder. "Looks like she was crying because she was tired."
"Wait, babies do that?" Chat vaguely remembered Plagg mentioning that, but he hadn't really believed his kwami.
Ladybug sighed and gently nudged at Chat. "You have a lot to learn about babies, minou. Yes, they will absolutely cry because they're tired, and just make themselves more tired."
"… Please don't make that a habit, little kitten," Chat said seriously to the now sleeping baby still cradled against Ladybug's shoulder.
Chat was very much trying not to think about how adorable and right Ladybug looked, cradling his sleeping little kitten. She had made it clear that she wasn't interested in things going in that direction.
Ladybug, for her part, was quiet as she thought. Paris hummed softly in the background, the distant sound of voices here and there, the occasional car, a distant barking dog, all melded together into something soothing and comforting. Soft puffs of breath from the baby's breathing brushed over her neck, and she was warm from where she curled against her shoulder and chest. Chat already looked tired from dealing with a crying baby, but was looking at the two of them as if he were seeing the stars for the first time.
Quietly, she took a deep breath and let it out, closing her eyes. Adrien didn't need her right now. Chat and the little baby tucked against her did. And she wouldn't let her partner, her best friend, deal with this alone.
"Chat?" He had clearly been spacing out, from the short delay before he gave himself a small shake and looked at her properly. "Look, I'm not trying to say that you couldn't do this by yourself. You're an amazing person and partner, and I know you'd be able to be a fantastic parent to this baby on your own. But… you don't have to be, if you don't want to."
"What do you mean?" It should be illegal how adorable he was when he tilted his head in confusion at her, his ears flopping slightly.
"I'll help you with her. Long-term. I mean, if you want me to," Ladybug hastened to add, aware that he might not want her helping in that way.
Chat stared at her in shock, and for a brief moment she worried she had overstepped, then suddenly she was being pulled into a warm hug, if a careful one so as to not wake up the baby.
"Ladybug, I would love nothing more than for you to help me raise this baby."