"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I mean, I'm not scared or anything like that. I just... I feel kind of numb. Please don't tell Caleb..."
"No, of course not. I've heard that these tests aren't always a hundred percent accurate, so... maybe you should go see your doctor just to be sure."
"Is it okay if I just sit here for a while?"
"Do you want company?"
"Yeah."
Staring at the cutting board before her, Cassandra realized she had somehow been able to chop all the vegetables for the dish without even thinking about what she was doing. She wasn't really that hungry, not only because she kept feeling nauseous throughout the day due to this unexpected pregnancy but also because she knew she was keeping a secret from Caleb, and that was starting to make her sick too.
"Do you mind if I get a beer while I wait?" Caleb asked, already going for the fridge. He was hanging around in the kitchen even though he wasn't participating in the cooking as he still wanted to spend time with his girl while she was preparing his "welcome home" dinner.
Life on the circuit wasn't glorious, so even the little things like being able to open a cold one and putting his feet up while looking at his beautiful girlfriend was something Caleb always looked forward to more and more whenever he was getting closer to going back to Hudson. He loved being at home, but he wanted to be able to bring money into this relationship and a cowboy life was all he was any good at, so some sacrifices had to be made.
Cassandra didn't even register what he was saying as she was so preoccupied with her own thoughts. At first she had been thinking of keeping this whole thing a secret, but she could no longer take it, not now when she was expected to pretend like this wasn't bothering her in front of Caleb.
"Caleb..."
"I mean, it's okay if you don't want me to," Caleb quickly said, trying to avoid spoiling the mood as Cassandra probably had some good wine she wanted them to try instead of him going for the cheap beer. Having an argument wasn't what he wanted to have right away, so it was better to play along.
Cassandra continued to ignore what her boyfriend was saying as she had no idea what he was even talking about. "I need to tell you something."
"Okay." Caleb placed the beer back into the fridge and closed the door. "I'm listenin'."
Cassandra wasn't sure how she was going to tell him about her situation, so she just decided to tell it like it was. Bluntness had always been her way of delivering information anyway. "I'm pregnant."
"You're wha-AH!?" Caleb gasped, and as Cassandra examined his expression, her worst fear came to be; Caleb was smiling and not immediately rejecting the thought of them having a baby together. "Babe…" He walked closer, his voice softer and his hands going for her belly so he could cup it.
"No… no," she exclaimed. Cassandra forbid him to touch her stomach, quickly removing his hands from her. Caleb's expression soon changed too as he wasn't following and didn't understand why Cassandra suddenly closed in. "I'm not having any of that."
Caleb frowned. "But... why? This is good news, right?"
"No, it's not," Cassandra said, clearly upset, then turning away as she got emotional. This was what she had been dreading too: getting choked up when she was trying her best to be rational and tell him what she'd planned.
"What's wrong?" Caleb asked, immediately feeling the need to make everything all right for Cassandra. Sure, this wasn't planned, but it didn't mean that they couldn't make it work. Caleb had always dreamed about having kids and maybe it wasn't in his five-year plan, but he was willing to embrace the blessing they'd been given. "Is it because we're not married? Because I'll marry you, Cass. I'll propose to you now, if you want me to!"
He then got down on one knee and recited emotionally: "Cassandra Fay Lee, I may not have a ring with me now, as I wasn't expecting to propose to you tonight, but that doesn't mean–"
Cassandra turned around, staring at him furiously and then trying to pull him back to his feet. "Get up!"
"What? What do you want?!" Caleb wanted to know. He usually thought of himself good with the ladies, but Cassandra was definitely her own kind. She was hard to figure out, but maybe that had always been part of her appeal.
"I want an abortion!" Cassandra quickly replied. It wasn't how she had planned this to go, but at least Caleb now knew what she had in mind and why this was so hard for her to tell.
"Abortion...?" Caleb repeated. His tone was incredulous. "But why?"
Cassandra scoffed, fighting the tears. "Isn't it obvious? I'm not ready for this!"
"But isn't that what almost everyone thinks when they get news like this?" Caleb figured. "But they learn, and it'll be okay in the end. The way I see it, I don't think anyone can be ready for parenthood. Heck, I'm not, but I would sure as hell try my best!"
"You're not listening to me. I don't want it." Cassandra sighed out of frustration. "This is why I shouldn't have told you..."
Caleb couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Wait-you weren't going to tell me?"
"No, I wasn't," Cassandra admitted, and to Caleb, she didn't even seem ashamed of it. "Because ultimately, it's my decision."
"I'm the father! Don't I get any say in this?!" Caleb tried to breathe and calm himself as he didn't want to get upset even though this was important for him and he wanted Cassandra to realize that too. "Don't you think we should give it a few days? You're still processing this; you're not thinking clearly."
"I am," Cassandra said. "I know what I want." She then scoffed and shook her head. "You know what, I don't wanna talk about this. I've already made up my mind. I just wanted to tell you what's going to happen and why I'll feel crappy for the next few days."
"Next few days?" Caleb echoed. "Cass, you might end up regretting this, and then you'll feel crappy for the rest of your life! Have you thought about that?"
"Yes, I've thought about everything, trust me, I didn't make the decision lightly. God, you're such a-" Cassandra was looking for the right word as she made her way to the coat rack-"a guy!"
As she grabbed her coat and her purse, it was clear to Caleb that she was about to go somewhere. "Wait, where are you going?" Caleb asked, starting to panic. He didn't want to let her go, especially when he knew what she was planning. What if she came back and was done with it, and he was supposed to pretend that this had never happened?
"I'm staying over someplace else where you don't have to look at me or deal with my 'immoral decisions,'" Cassandra informed him, feeling hurt that he was trying to guilt-trip her; Caleb had no idea what this was like, and he didn't even make an attempt to try to understand her.
As the door slammed shut, Caleb was left alone with the smell of what could have been a nice dinner and bitterness. He didn't know how to deal with this, so he started pacing around the apartment, trying to process what he'd been told. First, Cassandra had told him he had a chance to become a father and then seconds later she was ready to take that opportunity away from him. There was no way around this. Caleb didn't know if this was something he was ready to forgive, but at the same time, he hadn't loved anyone like he loved Cassandra, not since Ashley.
He felt like he was back at square one, and that made him feel even worse. Why was it that whenever he had gotten his life somewhat together, something was about to destroy it?