A Dark Loss, A New Hope
Wednesday, July 10th 8:13 A.M
All is lost, I have no hope. They've shattered me they knew just how to bring the strongest down. Rip you to shreds so slow and carefully. Guilt tossed aside. A conscious they have not. Take this, break that. They play by no rules. It's do as they choose, play as they want. No options at all. That's what they say. Yet, I still play a game I can't win.
Monday, July 8th10:16 A.M
THEY TOOK YOU! I'm scared. Scared for you and I'm so sorry Scully. Since I've been taken I know what they may do to you and it's my entire fault. I should have never have let you go out there. I can't live, no, not like this. I don't know how now. How am I supposed to go on, without you here next me? This is a living hell. I reach for you, where you use to be so often, with me, near me...next to me. Though, all I get in return is ice cold air. It goes straight to my lungs and manages to seek its way to my heart. There it pierces me sharply, yet it is a dull ache I feel. Please return just once more safely to my arms, please. It's all I ask.
Tuesday, July 9th 8:21 PM
I'm tired I'm done. Are you happy?! You won! You sick bastards! I'm finished and it's all because she's gone! This time it's forever never to return. Why her and not me?! Scully?! Scully we found you. Skinner, me and a few other agents, only it was too late. You're gone now.
Today, July 10th 2:10 AM
Why? Why her and not me? It should have been me. Yet, just five hours ago I found out in a way you haven't won. I can hear her not only in my mind this time, but also in my heart. The one thing she tells me to believe, which I'm not sure I ever will is that it's not my fault. It never was. Though, I'm starting to believe it Scully, for you. You say they want me to believe I was responsible for your death. Though, you have taught me better than to let them win. You also didn't leave me alone Scully. You left me with a gift, one they will never get to ever. It is the only reason I'm able to continue. I might not have hope, but I do have the next best thing. Katherine Samantha Mulder. We found her next to you in the woods. At first the doctors thought she wasn't going to make it either.
Though, when she did I realized the child had no name. I knew Bill probably would have wanted the child to have Scully's last name, but I didn't care. So, as I stare at little Kat I wonder if she will ever know how amazing her mother was. Wonder if she will ever know she is the only reason I awake every morning. She looks just like her mother. Thank God she has her nose, and those eyes. Those crystal clear, yet dark blue eyes that I know are watching over us.
So, see you bastards, while you took something of mine. She gave me something in return. You idiots. Scully would never leave for good before and let me be alone. I have half of her with me wherever I go and always will. Our love is too strong, it is something none of you could ever imagine.
So, maybe the great Spooky is not finished, but just beginning. They say every end has a beginning and at the end I always knew you would be standing right at the beginning with me. I love you Dana Katherine Scully I always have, and always will.
Love always and forever your Mulder